More bad language words and even more bad Steve

"Well, we love who we love. It sucks," Chris sighed, looking at you and completely serious. When your reaction didn't match the emotion he was trying to share, he was a bit hurt that his efforts were cast aside so quickly by your outburst of laughter.

"Do you have any new material, or do you just regurgitate old movie lines now?"

"Kiss my ass."

"Pass, but thanks for the offer."

"Figures," he scoffed. "If I recall, back when CJ was born you told me that America's Ass was better than mine anyway, even though I still think the drugs they were giving you clouded your...judgement..." he paused, seeing that your tears were about to start again. You had barely just gotten them under control and he nearly ruined it. "Oh, shit. Oh, honey, I'm sorry, the filter between my brain and my mouth must be broken."

"It's always broken, Chris," you chuckled softly. You picked up the glass that held the last swallow of your drink, pausing before it reached your lips; you set it down just as quickly when your stomach clearly told you to as it flipped at the thought of any more alcohol. Looking around you it was obvious that both of you had lost count long ago of how many glasses you had taken down. "Oh well, it's okay. This is gonna happen, right? I just need to figure out a way to get over him. Sounds easy enough, huh?"

"You're really done, aren't you?"

"Aren't you?"

"Hundred percent," he answered almost immediately, and it gave you strength in your resolve.

"I have a low threshold for this stuff, and I don't care who it is. There's no way to justify it, and I don't give a shit if he says it's because of the snap screwing his brain. That doesn't mean you go off and screw someone else just to feel better," you groaned, pushing the glass away from your reach and temptation. "I have to hang on to my principles even when everything else is crashing around me. It's all I have."

"(Y/N), that's not true," Chris reached out for you, but you pulled back. "Come on, you have your son, the team, you know the cast is gonna back you so get ready for incessant texts from Seb and Robert any second now, and...y-you have...me. That's not gonna change. I'm pretty sure those two ruined it for themselves and made us a combined force to be reckoned with."

~~~

"Dammit, Sam, say something already."

"I don't know where to start."

"Well, staring at me like that isn't helping."

"I ain't here to help you. I'm not here for you at all."

"Then why are you?"

"I don't know," Sam said, eyeing the man skeptically. He took a position sitting across the conference table from the Captain, his arms folded over his chest and completely closed off to a man that he had called his best friend for years but now knew nothing of who he was. Steve had run off to the tower that now sat empty, finding the solitude exactly what he deserved. "I guess I thought that maybe you'd have something that would make this make sense to me. Shoulda known better since you're obviously the biggest idiot I've ever known."

Steve took a deep breath and let it out shakily, having still avoided looking directly at Sam for even a second. It was clear to both of them that the shame was overwhelming, and Sam wasn't feeling even a little bit guilty about enjoying it. "Yeah, I agree on that," Steve finally nodded.

"Steve...you know that I have to ask."

All he got was a silent agreement with Steve leaning forward and resting his head on his folded arms over the table top. Sam already knew the answer, he had been told the full story from Bucky long before he got here to get it for himself. It wasn't that he didn't believe what Barnes told him; he needed to hear it from the source. His heart and soul wouldn't believe it fully until it was carried to him by that voice. The voice of his hero.

"Did you do it?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation; there was no point in it anymore.

"What did it cost?"

"Everything."

"Worth it?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" he snapped his head up and finally looked at Sam, the glare sending a cold chill across the room that made him want to leave as quickly as possible. That look meant one thing from Steve; people were about to get their asses beat on the field. Only this time the field was a conference table that was blocking his exit.

"So, what are you going to do, Steve?"

"(Y/N) hasn't left me with any choices. I need to find a place to stay and figure out my life from here. I can't stay in the tower for long, I heard it that it finally sold so my days hiding here are numbered."

"You really think she's done?"

"I know she is. I know her." He opened his mouth to elaborate further but a text alert stopped him. He took a quick glance at the screen, only to ignore it completely and set the phone on the table with its screen down.

"That isn't-"

"No, Sam, it isn't. I haven't tried to make any contact with Talia at all, and I don't want to. I'm not going to. If I have any chance of redemption in even the smallest way, I have to do this right. She won't take me back, I'm sure of that, but I still need to be there for my son, and that means that we need to find a way to be around each other. I'm on my best behavior, which I should've done a long time ago."

"I can't believe you screwed this up."

"I know."

"I can't believe...of all people, that it was you."

"Again, I know."

"You gotta stop using the snap like a crutch, Cap. Everyone has a messed up psyche now, and they didn't cheat on their spouse when they were still here right in front of them. Hell, people who lost their partners didn't even think about finding anyone else for a long time but you took the opportunity the second it presented itself, didn't you?"

"Sam, I'm really not in the mood-"

"Did you hear me ask if you were?" he answered between clenched teeth, his jaw firmly set in anger. "This is your life now, Steve. You're damn right that we're judging you hard, and we're gonna be for a long time. You don't get to catch a break, and you have no easy way out-"

"There is no easy way, Sam!" Steve exploded out with a slam of his hand on the table. He stood slightly only to drop back into the chair when he realized that Sam was actually scared of what he might do. In reality, he wasn't going to do anything and the outburst now shocked him as well. "Nothing about this is or will ever be easy. I know I screwed up, okay? I'm painfully aware."

"Yeah, okay, I can buy that," Sam nodded. "But I guarantee you're nowhere near as painfully aware as she is."

~~~

Several hours had passed since Chris had first arrived at the compound, and now the day was over and dark had set in outside. It left a hazy glow of the moon to light the room other than the reflection from the tv on the pale walls around you. With the warm inebriation that finally relaxed you after the trauma of the day, it was easy to fall asleep on the luxurious couches that Tony had filled the living room with, the blankets that covered them equally tempting to wrap yourself in. Just when you had finally fallen into rest and had successfully shut the world out, it was interrupted and short-lived.

"Guys, wake up. Not a good look."

"Whaaaat, Buck?" you whined, pulling the blanket up and over your head. "We fell asleep, and we're fully dressed under here."

"What's going on?" Chris added, sitting up with a groan and struggling to rub the sleep from his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. "Bucky, seriously? It's a nap."

"Still. (Y/N), don't give Steve any ideas that he could use against you when shit really hits the fan. Even though we all know what it was at the time, between the two of you, your lips ain't strangers."

"Jesus, how is this now about me?!" you snapped, throwing the blanket to the ground in anger, now fully awake and completely annoyed that your sleep had been interrupted by something so stupid. "I didn't do shit and I'm the one who has to step lightly?! Well, you know what, Barnes? To hell with that."

Before he could answer you and before the friend at your side could react, you grabbed Chris and pulled him in by the front of his shirt, willingly giving him the one thing he had tried to steal from you years ago. He didn't try to pull back when your lips met, but he didn't exactly play into it, either. He seemed fearfully cautious, yet struggling to control the urge to take the moment further. With a loud clearing of his throat, Bucky stopped you and jolted you to reality, leaving you to stare at Chris in shock at what you had done, but still speaking an apology to him without a sound before you stood and hurried to your room.

"I uh...I should...I'd better go check on her," Chris stammered, trying to reconcile what had just happened.

"No, you'll do no such thing," Bucky stopped him, taking a hold of his arm as he stood to follow you. "Go home, Evans. Do us a favor and hang back a bit. I appreciate that you're here now for her, but maybe hold off until I get ahold of you again. I told Steve that I'd be taking care of her now and I'm gonna make good on that. You guys have been close for a long time, and she's a mess right now and that makes her vulnerable to bad decisions. Those lines of friendship have been a little hazy a few times, and that's on you. She's not thinking clearly and I don't want her to do anything that could hurt her position."

"What position?"

Bucky glanced back over his shoulder for a second, making sure that no one was listening in until he knew where the team found their alliances. This wasn't going to play out into sides like it had before; this was much more devastating. "Her position of keeping her son once Steve makes a play. I don't think he will, and I also thought I knew the guy up until today, but he could twist your years as friends into something it wasn't. This could get really ugly, Chris, and it's my job now to protect her. Even if that means from you."