I don't know why, but I really like writing terrible Steve...very, very bad Steve. Bad language words.

The sound of Steve heavily dropping his keys onto the living room table alerted you to his arrival long before he said anything, which wasn't normal for him. He would usually find too much humor in trying to sneak up on you with a kiss on your neck or a playful tickle of your ribs to make you jump and earn your vengeance, but today he had no playfulness, no greeting that carried a smile in his voice; just the unceremonious crash and scratch of a slide over metal.

"Honey? You're home early," you tried, keeping your tone as light as possible. "I thought you two would be out all day?"

"Yeah, that didn't pan out. Called it early."

You watched him drop onto the couch with as much lack of care to a landing as his keys had survived, his body looking smaller and exhausted, not unlike a return from one of his worst missions. He had been in battle, but not the kind to which he had grown accustomed; this was personal and devastating, and you had to get to the bottom of it before you lost his attention. "How'd it go?"

Nothing. Just a quiet groan and hands that covered his eyes in frustration. All it did was frustrate you along with him. "Steve? What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Talia had an argument? I hear it was epic."

"What?" you asked. "Why would he bring that up? That was forever ago, between us and I'm over it."

"(Y/N), they split up about a month ago."

"Shut up, are you serious?! Because of that?!" you gasped, crossing the room quickly to join him, but his posture wasn't at all inviting as he sat straighter in response so you held back. "I called her out on being an idiot and delusional but he's never minded that about her before, obviously."

"It wasn't...well not...not exactly that," Steve stammered, trying to calm his nerves. "There's more to it than that."

"Steve, tell me what's going on. You look like you're going to puke all over the room."

"I'm trying to, (Y/N), I just don't know how...where to start. It's..." he paused, taking a deep breath that did nothing to calm him, "...okay. Do you remember when I started the support group after the snap? You suggested that Talia join in because she was struggling so much with Chris being gone."

"Yeah, of course I remember."

"Well, she really was a mess when she started with us, but she did the work and things started to get better. You two were going out more again, and she seemed like she could maybe be happy, or at least was on the way to it. She stopped going to group and only contacted me if she needed help through a rough patch."

"Alright, so you were nice to her and giving her extra attention so she took it as something more?"

"That's what your fight was about, right? That's what Chris said, anyway." You gave him a nod in tacit agreement, so he continued; or at least he tried to. His posture was so unusual for him and you couldn't place why. The man looked as if he had lost a foot in height and his color was off. Even the air that filled the room around you had grown colder. If you didn't know better you'd think he was getting sick. He would barely look at you, and when he did it was a glance that didn't actually meet your gaze at all. Something was very wrong. "Could you..." he coughed quietly to clear his nerves, "could you maybe...sit down?"

"No," you answered cautiously, "I think I'm gonna stand. You're acting really weird, and you look like a little kid confessing before finding out what your punishment will be." When his only reply was continued silence and staring at his hands while he wrung them, your body felt a weight suddenly begin to crush it. "What did you do, Steve?"

"(Y/N)-"

"Steven."

"I...I g-gave her extra attention."

"Meaning?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, and we lost so many people," he rushed, his words spilling out almost frantically. "I was upset all the time, and it felt good that I could help those people even though I still felt like I had failed our friends and our families. Those others went home after each session and I lost touch with a few, but I actually got to see the payoff right in front of me and she was...she was better with my help and I had a purpose again."

"But I was still here. You needed more purpose than me and our son?"

"I know you were, and if it weren't for you...I honestly don't know where I'd be today."

"I'm starting to think maybe it wasn't just me who got you here. I'm only going to ask this one more time, Rogers, and I want an answer. What the hell did you do? Did you kiss her?"

Steve kept his head down, still watching his hands, only this time you saw the slightest nod of affirmation. He may as well have just stood up and punched you in the gut and knocked you across the room instead. It would have been less painful. But you couldn't stop there, and the question had to be asked. A question that you never once thought that a man like Steve would hear from anyone, much less his own wife. By the time you pushed the words up your throat and through the lump of emotion choking you, you could barely make enough sound to carry them. They were accusatory words that you should never have to speak aloud and it was your own voice that tried to stop you.

"Did you sleep with her, Steve?"

Again, he wouldn't look up. You thought you might have heard a quiet sniffle from him, but he refused to answer. You could see him close his eyes and you could hear the gentle cracks of the joints of his hands when he couldn't possibly put any more pressure on them. When he finally responded, not with words but with the drop of his head into his hands, you reflexively began to back away and towards the door in complete shock.

"Okay," you whispered, "um, o-okay...this is, uh...um, I'm not sure what to say to that."

"I'm so sorry, I have no excuse. I didn't mean to-"

"Do I want to know how long it's been?"

"(Y/N)-"

"Oh, it can't get any worse for you, so you might as well just let it out now."

"Um...off and on a few times not long after she started group, during...the uh...the Blip."

"Wow," you exhaled heavily, carrying sarcasm and disgust alike, "I bet she felt great and got better pretty damn quick with that kind of extra attention. She was in that group for three years, Steve."

Again, he was silenced and lost for what to say. He really had no excuse, and anything that he thought of to say either only made it worse or made it sound utterly ridiculous that he would try to explain this away. He had broken your trust, he had broken his own character, and he had no idea who he was or how he came to be here in this moment, destroying the one person that he couldn't live without. The person he had made vows to that now mean absolutely nothing because of him and his own stupidity.

"Does Chris know this? Because I'm pretty sure that this will put the final nail in that coffin for them."

"Not that much, no. (Y/N), I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you after the first...time...but when Chris was snapped back it stopped, then so much time passed and-"

"Stop."

"(Y/N)-"

"Stop, Steve. Just don't," you snapped with your hands up to keep him away. You were nearly to the door now, nearly to your escape so you could let this out. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing a single tear and you held it together. "You can say that you're sorry a million times and it won't change the fact that I'll never believe anything you say to me ever again. I don't know if I can believe anything you've ever said to me all these years. But in all of this, I have to say that it's amazing, this feeling."

"What feeling?"

"Falling out of love so quickly," you answered flatly, standing just a bit taller as he jumped up and stood to follow you to the door in a panic. "It's physically jarring."

"Wait, (Y/N), please, can we talk about this?"

"The only thing that we have to talk about is how fast you can pack." With one hand still raised to him in a dare to take even one more step, the shaking in it barely visible to the eye but shaking your entire body in rage, you took your phone from your pocket with your free hand, hurrying to dial the first person that came to mind to save you from this situation. "Hey, Buck, you got a minute for me to stop by?"

"(Y/N), please, don't bring him into this."

"I said to stop talking, Steve. I'm going to talk to him and then send him your way to help you to the door. I'm leaving for a couple hours, and when I get back you need to not be here."

"Where do you expect me to go?"

"Well, I'd imagine now that Chris has left, she has plenty of room for you next to her."

~~~

Bucky didn't like your tone. The sound in your voice scared him, and that was hard to do. It was you, but it wasn't. Something really, really bad was happening, and if he had the power he'd say his spidey senses were in full tingle, and not in the good way.

He decided that since you were on the way the least he could do was to meet you halfway, leaving his room the second that you hung up so that he could intercept and figure out the situation that much faster. If you or CJ were in any kind of trouble, he'd flip his persona at lightning speed to protect you and his godson from it.

What he saw as he rounded the first corner nearly set his Soldier side into a full-blown panic.

You were barely able to hold yourself up as you pulled your body along the wall, tears flowing freely and your breath gasping to keep up with your emotions. You looked like you could drop at any second, and when your eyes met, you nearly did and he rushed forward to hold you up.

"Woah, doll, what's going on? What happened? Is everyone ok?"

"I need you to stop me from killing him, Buck. If this is what he means when he says everything goes red when he's pissed, what does it mean if it's going black?"

"That you're gonna pass out if you don't settle down. (Y/N), talk to me. What happened?"

"It's over. He's...he's packing right now and I...I need you to make sure he actually leaves," you gasped, trying to get the words out between sobs. "Can you do that for me? Because I don't think...I can hold my resolve...if I see him drive away."

"What the hell happened?!"

He led you to a nearby bench, sitting you down but keeping his arm around you for support; he wasn't quite sure yet that passing out wasn't an option. As you choked out a string of words, rushed and broken, he listened intently. His eyes widened as he caught the important points, the words that dammed his best friend and shocked him to the point of barely comprehending it as truth. When you stopped and leaned into him in a full breakdown, he swung his arm under your legs and lifted you to him, taking you to the nearest person to help.

"Wanda, stay with her," he said in a rush, opening her door without warning. He set you on her bed as she hurried to sit by you, taking mere seconds to know what was happening as she took your hand, when he was barely caught up but ready to act. "Don't let her leave, and no matter what you hear, stay where you are. Keep FRIDAY off my back."

All she could do was nod in agreement before he was gone, shutting her door with a wave of her hand as he left. She heard him storm down the hall and back towards your room, jumping slightly at the sound of the door being smashed open with the crack of splintering wood and crushed metal.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Steve?! Tell me she's wrong!"

Steve barely looked up and stopped his momentum of throwing everything he could fit into his suitcase. He shook his head, angry that you had gone to Bucky for help with this, but also relieved that you were so smart as to know exactly who to get. "I can't do that, Buck."

Bucky now too understood Steve's penchant for seeing red as he pushed forward, landing the most solid hit that his metal hand had ever made in all his years of having it. The force jolted Steve back and into a nearby chair, knocking over a lamp and shattering glass everywhere. Bucky didn't even care anymore who heard them, and he was ready to throw the next hit if he didn't get an answer he wanted, and soon.

"Thanks," Steve sighed, wiping blood from his split lip, "I was actually hoping you'd do that. You can take a few more if you want."

"No," he stepped back and slowly lowered his hands, "I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of kicking your ass for you, you son of a bitch."

Steve returned to his work, lost in his own mind and doing his best to avoid the glare that was boring through him. The last thing he wanted to do was rehash this all out to Bucky when he could barely say it to you, but he wasn't sure if his friend would allow his silence. It wasn't that he didn't take ownership, he just couldn't look up and stand the shame aimed back at him.

"Does Chris know?"

"Pretty sure that's where she's headed."

"In the condition she's in, she's not going anywhere anytime soon if I have anything to say about it. Someone needs to take care of her now that you've fucked that up and you can be damn sure that I'm gonna. What the hell, Steve? This isn't you. How could you do that to (Y/N)? After everything that's happened?"

"I don't know who I am, Buck. All I know is that I'm not what she wants or needs now and I don't blame her or deserve her to." With a firm slap against the top of his suitcase, he snapped it shut and took it in hand, turning to finally accept his judgement before walking away.

"This is on me."

~~~

A couple hours after he had made sure that Steve was gone and not trying to sneak his way back into the building, Bucky made a call. Maybe it was a bad one and it would blow up in his face, but it had to be done.

"Thanks for calling me," Chris sighed as Bucky held the door for him to enter the compound. "How's she doing?"

"Terrible."

"I'm sorry. Believe me, I wouldn't wish this on her or anyone. Well, maybe Steve, cuz fuck that guy."

Bucky laughed under his breath, and it carried a guilt that he was uncomfortable with just by agreeing with the sentiment. "Yeah, I don't know who that guy is anymore. Not sure how I feel about finding out. Come on, she's in the lounge," he nodded towards the next room, "and I need you to intervene before she falls off the bar stool."

"Oh, shit," Chris groaned, hurrying his steps. "She's got no tolerance."

"Just keep your lips to yourself this time, okay"

"Helping or hurting, man?" Once he entered the room and saw you, hunched against the bar with a few different glasses and bottles nearby, Chris decided on a slow and safe approach to avoid getting hit over the head with one of them. He was sure he knew how pissed you were and he didn't want to take any chances.

"Hey, gorgeous."

"Evans," you replied flatly, not even turning to look his way.

"Woah, what's with the formal?" He pulled up a stool next to you and sat just far enough away to reach you, but not so close to be too much. It was strange to him to have to feel so guarded around you after so many years as friends, but this wasn't about him right now. "How many deep are you in here? I remember how shitty of a drunk you are." There was a long pause after that until you finally turned to look at him fully, and he could really see just how bad it was. "Oh, honey..."

"You have no idea, Chris."

"I have some."

"No," you scoffed as you took a drink, "you don't."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Will you promise to stay here?"

He reached out and grabbed a new glass and one of the more expensive looking bottles, quickly pouring his own hope of comfort, or at least to numb himself for a while. "Probably."

"Buck?"

As if he knew you were waiting, Bucky stepped into the doorway with his hand out expectantly. "Keys."

"Wow, okay," Chris agreed, tossing the set to him. "Alright, I'm in Avengers lockdown and you know I can't escape. Let's hear it."

"Three years. They've been playing us and with each other for three goddamn years, Chris. Well, I suppose you were technically gone for five, but still," you smiled weakly. "I do feel a little proud of myself that I left him with a big fat lie and I think I actually pulled it off."

"What did you say?" he asked cautiously, glancing back to Barnes, who wanted to hear this just as much as he did.

"I told him that I don't love him anymore."