Been A Long Day - Rosi Golan

Luke's birthday is always celebrated at his parents' house. Always. He can have as many friends as he wants; he can get drunk and do whatever he wants, but it should be at his parents' house. Even though he moved out years ago. It's just their family rule.

On his birthday, Luke smells freshly made cupcakes, and a few seconds later, Sierra bursts into his bedroom, exactly at 10:27—the time he was born—screaming "Happy Birthday".

"Hey," Luke says hoarsely as he sits up; his hair is a mess and his feet are missing one sock, "Why are you here so early?" he asks, not really knowing what time it is, but if he wasn't awake before Sierra woke him, that means it's early.

"To wish my favourite boy a happy birthday, of course!" she says cheerfully, opening the curtains, and Luke turns away from the window immediately, covering his face with a pillow.

"Boy?" he mumbles into the sheets as she jumps on the bed next to him.

"Oh, I am so sorry, do you want me to call you 'my man'?" she asks, fake smiling. Sierra actually does want to call him that, but it's obviously not the most appropriate way to call a friend.

"I mean, I do have a name, you know.." he giggles.

He turns to her, and she runs her hand through his hair, "Happy birthday, Luke." she emphasises and laughs. He mumbles a small 'thank you', feeling a bit embarrassed. Birthdays are always embarrassing. He doesn't mind being the centre of attention for something he actually did, but when this attention is forced, he feels like he's a tiger in a circus.

Cory knocks on Luke's door a few minutes later, feeling really excited to wish him a happy birthday. It's like making people smile is his life purpose.

"Lu!" Cory says, and Luke lets him in, smiling. "I have two presents for you."

"Wow, two?" Luke fake gasps. "I really wanna see." he says, inviting Cory to sit on his bed, but the boy declines.

"You won't actually see both of them." he says, giggling. "You'll hear it. I wrote a poem for you." Cory says proudly, but it's still visible that he is very nervous.

"Ooh, that's so interesting." Sierra smiles, encouraging the boy to begin.

Cory stands still, holds his chin up, and starts, "On your birthday, just for you.." he looks lost for a second but quickly gains his confidence back, "I wish that all your dreams come true. May your day be filled with bliss - To you, I send a hug and kiss." he finishes and bows, to which Luke and Sierra respond with a small round of applause, and Luke even whistles.

"Thanks, buddy, that's the best present I've ever gotten." Luke says, hugging him and sitting him down on his bed.

"You just wait till you see what Sierra got you." the boy replies nonchalantly.

"Cory!" Sierra exclaims, and Luke turns to her with a questionable smile.

"What did you get me?" he asks, all excited.

"It's a surprise, Lu." Cory defends her, realising he is kind of at fault, and tries to get his attention to his second gift.

"Oh, so now you two," Luke motions, "are hiding something from me together?"

"We're not.. hiding." Sierra replies, looking at Cory. "It's just a surprise, and that's all. We should see what else Cory got you."

Luke sighs, but turns back to the boy as Cory hands him a piece of paper with a drawing he made.

"That's our family." he says. "All four of us." There really are four people—and they're almost recognisable—but there are also two buildings in the picture, both of the same size and basically identical.

"Why are there two houses?" Luke asks, because if he's being honest, the drawing doesn't really make much sense to him.

"One is for you and Sierra, and one - for me and Calum." Cory replies calmly, pointing at the houses.

"Don't you want all of us to live in one house?" Luke asks, still not understanding. He knows they won't live together, but if this is family, then they probably should do so, at least in the drawing.

"Well yes, but when you and Sierra get married, you won't like living with us, so you'll move to the house next door, and we'll all live together as neighbours." the boy explains it as if it's the most obvious thing ever. It is.

"When Luke and I what..?" Sierra asks slowly. She's staring at the drawing blankly, not really being able to process everything.

"When you get married, are you listening?" Cory laughs at her with the warmest smile a child can possibly give. He then takes the picture from Luke's hands and goes to Petunia, who's been sleeping in the corner all this time, and shows it to her. He shows her a drawing of her and the lawn where she would spend her time playing and just relaxing. She licks his nose in response.

The boy then just gets up and runs out of the room like nothing happened, but Luke and Sierra haven't moved for several minutes and have been staring at the wall this whole time. The silence starts pressuring Luke, and he finally speaks up.

"Well," he sighs, "that was awkward."

"Yeah.. it was." Sierra whispers.

"So, um, do you want to marry me?" he asks then, still keeping his serious face on.

"What?" she frowns and turns to him. He starts laughing, giving away that he's joking, and she throws a pillow at him. She acts like she's joking too, but she can't lie to herself and pretend she's never dreamed of Luke asking her this question.

They mess around for a while more, just fighting and laughing loudly, making Petunia leave the room, until Sierra decides to show him the present. It is his portrait. It's not very big, but it's already framed, so it can be hung up on the wall or just put on the table.

"You said you don't draw people?" he asks, looking at it in awe. She's extremely talented. She used as few colours as possible; mostly blue and grey for his eyes, for shadows and jewerly—because he only wears silver— and golden for his hair and highlights on his face, despite his culrs being a lot darker than gold in real life.

"Yeah, but I can make an exception for you, I guess." she smiles. "That's my favourite picture of you, even though it's old, and I added long hair like you have now, so-"

"So I can see what I would've looked like if I hadn't gotten depressed." he whispers, trailing his fingers all over the drawing. Exploring every detail—the eyes that still had that sparkle, the dimples that would show up every time he smiled sincerely, his cheeks that used to be a lot chubbier—everything that's changed over these past several years. "Don't tell Cory, but that's the best gift I've ever received." he looks up at her and smiles. "Thank you. Really." She nods and goes in for a hug, and they stay like that for a minute or two, just breathing in sync.

They come out of the room in a few minutes, where Calum meets them and wishes Luke a happy birthday. They have pancakes for breakfast and wait for Ashton to arrive because he's the one staying with Cory while all three of them go to Luke's parents.

The walk to George and Samantha's house takes 20 minutes through a park and quiet neighbourhoods, so they decide to go on foot. It's a little windy, so they don't notice if it's actually hot.

"I can already feel dad is gonna start drama about me dropping out of uni." Luke sighs as they walk through the park.

"Come on, don't be so pessimistic about it. We'll have a great time there." Sierra tries to cheer him up. She knows they won't have a great time; it'll be awkward and tense, just like most years before. Luke's father always finds ways to pick a fight with him for no apparent reason.

"I'm gonna be honest, I don't want to go." he replies, almost deciding to stand his ground, but he's too scared.

"Luke, we're already going." Calum says. "Plus, I don't think your parents are going to cause drama on your birthday."

Luke stays quiet for a while because he understands that Calum and Sierra are being rational, but he can't shake this bad feeling off. He really doesn't want to go to his parents' today, or any other day, for that matter.

"Let's just not go." he stops at last. He can do this; he can say 'no'. "Let's turn left, there's a bar, we can sit there. Or go home." He just needs his friends to do it with him, so it looks like they made this decision together.

"Luke, come on, what is wrong with you today?" Calum says, and Sierra just watches the scene quietly. She's trying to see in his face or movements what exactly got to him.

"I'm tired and I'm hot, but the wind is blowing so I'm not hot, and my head feels dizzy, and my shoelaces are too tight, and I can feel the crew neck on my neck, and the fabric of the jeans itches my legs, and-" Luke rambles, looking around desperately, and both Calum and Sierra exchange looks of understanding—anxiety is taking over his mind as well as his body.

"Stop and breathe." Calum says, taking his hands. "Breathe with me, okay? " he makes Luke look him straight in the eyes and focus on his breathing. When Luke was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression several years ago, Calum read everything about it. He learnt what can happen and why it can happen; he learnt how to deal with it and how to help others when they're going through it. Everything he learnt he would then teach Sierra. It became extremely useful when Luke stopped taking his medication.

"We'll go there, and if anything goes wrong, we leave immediately, deal? Let's at least get your presents." Calum says, and Luke nods. He sometimes wonders if Luke notices that he talks to him in the same way he does to Cory.

They get to the house, and everything goes great—they cook outside together, they relax in the back yard—it's going great. Until they sit down at the dinner table.

"You haven't come back to university yet, son? " George asks, and Luke immediately tenses. He wants to reach out his hand to take Sierra's, but she's sitting opposite him, and the most he can do is touch her feet with his.

"You know I'm not going to, dad, I've told you." he replies.

"Did you find a job then?" his dad pushes. Luke mentally rolls his eyes, but answers anyway,

"I've sent my resume to a few job offers. But I still have the money from the last one, so it's not like it's very urgent." He's not lying, that Edinburgh Film Company job paid off really well, so he can live on that money till Christmas for sure.

"That's great, honey." Samantha says, putting her hand on his shoulder, and he smiles at her.

"No, it's not great. You're a grown man and don't have a job? How are you going to support a family?" George interrupts. The atmosphere at the table is getting heavier with every second passing by.

"What family, dad? I don't have anyone." Luke chuckles. It's not funny. Calum and Sierra give each other a side look, but stay quiet. They tend not to interfere in such arguments.

"Exactly, you don't even have a family, maybe you should think twice before getting into this gay thing again." His father never approved of Luke liking both men and women, and made sure to remind him as much as possible that he considers it a phase.

"George, stop this. It's his birthday, he's come to visit us and spend some good time, not argue with you." Luke's mum says, and Luke nods at her. She's always on his side. She never spoiled him, but she wasn't strict either.

"Well, he could do both, you know, Sam. But our little boy is depressed; he can't do things, right?" George mocks and looks at his son. Luke stays quiet, because if he doesn't, he feels like he could kill someone. "Why can't you suck it up and act like a normal person?"

"I am normal, dad! Depression doesn't make me any less of a person. I'm still me." Luke says, and it takes him everything to stay calm. "If having a son like me is too much for you, you shouldn't have given me life at all." he adds, and Sierra quietly gasps. Calum takes her hand to stop her from doing too much.

"I never wanted you in the first place!" his dad stands up.

"So when mom was pregnant with me, you told her that?" Luke asks, getting up too. He simply wants to leave.

"She was never pregnant with you." George scoffs. Calum frowns at Sierra quietly.

"Stop it," Samantha grunts angrily.

"What?" Luke asks, completely lost. "Mum?" he says, looking at her, hoping she can say something that'll change the trail of thoughts that are going through his head right now.

"You're adopted. And I never wanted you." his dad says, satisfied, and leaves the room.

The four of them sit quietly for several minutes, waiting for Luke's reaction, but there's nothing. He's staring blankly at the wall, and that's it.

"Honey, he didn't mean this.." his mom says, taking his hand.

"If he didn't want me, why did you adopt me?" he asks, looking at her. "Why put me through all of this, if you don't even want me?"

"I wanted you." she replies.

"And now?" he says. "Do you still want me now?" he whispers, his voice broken.

"Of course, dear, you're my son." Samantha replies, kissing his forehead.

George comes back several minutes later, and they get back to dinner as if nothing happened. Calum and Sierra feel invisible. Everyone helps themselves to the food, but when George sees Luke's plate full of everything his mum cooked, he asks,

"Wow, you're really going to eat all of that?"

And Luke's had enough for today, he really has. "You know what, dad? No, I'm not. he replies and stands up. "Come on guys, it's time to leave." he says to Calum and Sierra, and they follow him. They had a deal.

"Dear, maybe take some food with you?" Samantha asks, walking them to the door. She doesn't even stop him from leaving—it's better if he doesn't see his father right now.

"Nah, mum, we're good. Thanks." Luke smiles at her, kisses her on the cheek, and they leave. He feels a bit relieved leaving the house. He's got all the answers in one phrase. 'You're adopted' and that's why his father has always been a shitty parent to him; that's why he refused to teach him anything; that's why he never showed up to his swimming competitions; that's why it never felt like family.

"Well, that was.." Sierra starts.

"Intense." Calum finishes. "How do you feel, Luke?"

"Alright." Luke shrugs. He really does feel alright.

"I am now curious as to who your real parents are." Sierra says carefully. She doesn't know how to ask him directly about the fact that he's adopted.

"I'm not gonna look for my biological parents." Luke replies as they're walking away from the house.

"Why? Aren't you curious?" Calum asks.

"No. These are my parents." he points to the house that's already behind them. "Good or bad, but they raised me. And I don't care about those who gave me up or whatever. Finding them won't change anything in my life. They're strangers to me."

"What do we do now? Go home, or you wanna go to a bar or what?" Calum asks.

"To be honest, guys, I'm gonna go watch the sunset." Luke replies, already going towards the beach. The thing is that Luke always does this alone. He doesn't like sharing the sunset. He takes his time to think things over, or just relax and clear his mind.

"Don't be home too late, though, okay?" Calum smiles at him, and Luke nods.

He walks with his headphones on and music blasting, but he turns it off as he reaches the beach. Surprisingly, his mind is quiet. Luke doesn't think about his parents; he doesn't think of his childhood; he doesn't think of today's argument; it's just quiet, and he feels relaxed. He plays with the sand, listens to the sound of waves, observes people taking an evening walk, playing with their dog, or just sitting and watching the sun set, just like he is.

Meanwhile, Calum and Sierra feel really bad. They feel bad for Luke, for his ruined birthday, and they feel guilty for making him go to his parents' when he told them he had a bad feeling. Maybe they should trust his gut feeling more.

"Ash? Sierra will be at the apartment in 10 minutes, take Cory and decorate the living room at least, we'll throw Luke a birthday party, got it?" Calum finds a solution quickly. He wants Luke to feel wanted, at least today.

"I can call Crystal and Mike, what do you think?" Sierra asks.

"Great, yes. I'll call Feye." Calum nods. They part ways as he goes to the supermarket to get some groceries.

In less than an hour, everyone is already at the apartment, food is ready, they've got some board games, they've got movies, and everything is decorated with balloons and sparkly stuff. Sparkles is something Luke has always adored, no matter how much people make fun of him for that.

Luke comes, and he is thrilled to see all of them, and even though it's a quiet party—mostly because of Cory—they're all enjoying it. They remember the old times at school with Michael; Crystal tells them all about New York; Feye talks about her archaeology studies; Ashton tells his stories from the hospital where he works as a paramedic; and everyone feels really comfortable.

"So," Luke says the next morning, when he and Calum are watching TV in the living room together. "You and Feye?" he wiggles his eyebrows. He can't ignore how they spent most of yesterday evening basically undressing each other with their eyes.

"What?" Calum asks as if he doesn't understand what Luke is asking. As if he didn't tell Feye to be quiet last night because he didn't want to tell Luke that she was spending the night.

"Don't what me. Are you together or just messing around, or what?" Luke asks, smiling. He wants Calum to be happy. He's been single for way too long.

"I don't really know, we haven't talked about it." he replies. He's scared to approach the topic himself, but she's never brought it up either.

"But did you say anything to each other? Like, 'I fancy you' or something?"

"She told me she likes spending time with me." Calum shrugs.

"Oh no." Luke sighs.

"I think I'm falling for her." Calum whispers.

"Really?" Luke lights up immediately. "Have you told her?"

"No, I don't really.. I don't trust her fully, I guess." he replies, feeling a bit embarrassed. He's not used to talking about his feelings.

"I mean, you can try just asking her to be your girlfriend, you know." Luke suggests. To him, it doesn't seem like a difficult task.

"I don't want to ruin what we have now, cause what if she says 'no' and we'll stop hanging out for good." Calum says.

"She said she likes spending time with you, I don't think you will stop seeing her." he reassures him.

"That's just a cliche phrase; it didn't mean anything. Maybe I'll ask her later, when the semester starts, and we'll see each other every day, so even if she says 'no', we'll still be crossing paths regularly." Calum says, feeling proud of himself for coming up with that.

"Come on, man. Why don't you trust her? I'm sure it'll be alright."

"Because you trust everyone, Luke. And look how you end up." Calum motions to him. "Every time."

"Well, that's just life; you're gonna get rejected a million times. Doesn't mean you should stop telling people how you really feel." Luke replies calmly.

"I don't think you have the same mindset when guys dump you." Calum laughs.

"True, but I have it every time I want to tell someone how I feel. Go for it, Cal." Luke nudges him and walks back to his room. Calum smiles to himself and thinks about sharing Luke's thoughts with Sierra, because she's definitely someone who needs to hear this.

heeey, here's the update, let me know what you think in the comments! please don't forget to vote at the end and thank you for reading! xx

happy holidays everyone, see you next year <3