Half The Story - Luke Wild, Alix Page

Luke might be panicking. He doesn't like interacting with people who don't like him. His response to panic is calling Sierra. It's always Sierra. When he's going on a first date with someone, or fights with his parents, or just recieves emails that are too serious - it's always her. She never gives him advice if he's not asking for it. She just talks to him, calms him down, and lets him joke about the situation, whatever it is. She knows that's Luke's way of coping with problems.

She's always really calm and never yells. She wants to be a teacher, so obviously, being patient with dumb people is an important trait. And luckily, she has it.

"Lu, what's up?" her voice always sounds so kind, like she's talking to a puppy. But not in a weird, childish way, no. Luke can always tell that she's paying attention only to him when she's speaking. Her voice is confident and present, and that confidence already simmers him down. He knows he'll be alright with her.

"Hi, you're gonna be at that party, right?" he asks, anxiously. He hates being alone in places full of people. He loves having fun in big companies, but he always needs someone by his side.

"Yeah, I'm getting ready right now. Why?" she asks. She's just started doing her makeup, which is her favourite part. Her face can go from pretty to gorgeous in just ten minutes, and she likes getting what she wants quickly.

"Ashton is going to be there, and Calum definitely won't leave him for me, so I really need you tonight." he says, going through his closet. He tries to decide if he should overdress tonight so no one concentrates on what he's saying, or not draw attention to himself.

"You know I wouldn't leave you alone. But what's wrong with Ashton? He seems cool." She's met him not more times than Luke has, but he's been kind to her and once gave her a lift home when everyone else was passed out drunk.

"Well, you know I can get jealous.." he says quietly. It's not even jealousy, but fear.

"What did you do?" he can hear Sierra smile. She always finds it funny how overdramatic he can be, for no apparent reason.

"It was years ago! When Calum and I first met, they'd already been friends. And Cal and I hit it off quite quickly, but I wanted to spend all my time with him, and he was always with Ashton and-"

"And you threw a tantrum? Because Cal has other friends?" she laughs. "How old were you?" his age doesn't really matter because she knows he'd probably do the same now.

"Twelve at the time." he sighs.

"So? It's been like ten years, you both should've gotten over it by today."

"No, but- Ashton is Calum's best friend, but that's it. Just Calum's. We hung out a few times before, got really drunk, and never did it again. I really think he doesn't like me that much." Luke says, finally throwing himself on the bed because he can't stand every piece of clothing in his closet.

"Let's try to hang out with him tonight; if it doesn't work, we can always go home. Deal?" Sierra suggests. She wants him to have other friends, to find a reason to go out more, or to talk to somebody new.

"Deal." he smiles.

It's easy. He just needs to be polite and seem mature, so Ashton understands that he's not the same kid anymore. He grew up, swallowed down his jealousy, and doesn't get upset when his best friend has other friends. Easy.

Except that it's not. He does get upset when his friends hang out with others. Calum and Sierra are the only friends in his life. Ever. He's scared that he's boring. He's convinced that he is, and that's why they have other friends. Not because they're sociable, unlike him, but because they don't find him interesting. Even if they say a million times otherwise. Why would he believe them?

After he makes sure he looks presentable, he waits for Calum in the car. Whenever they go out, Luke is the sober one who drives people to parties and back. It's not that he doesn't want to get drunk; he does. But he prefers to do it in small companies, so he wouldn't get embarrassed in the morning. He gets loud and unhinged when drunk, and not many people can take it the right way.

He sees Sierra wearing a silky black dress; she has full make-up on, and her hair is even curled. She's definitely going to get a lot of attention tonight, and that can mean only one thing: Luke is going to be left alone.

"I'm not leaving your side until I make sure you and Ashton get along, okay?" she says when she sees his lost gaze as they're entering the place. He nods, following Calum to the table in the corner, where Ashton is already waiting for him.

He looks a bit different since the last time Luke saw him. His hair is natural colour again, he got more muscular, and he dresses better. Luke tries to make his smile look not creepy and fake, and greets him with a handshake.

"Ash, you remember Luke?" Calum says as they take a seat on an old bench—this university really should invest in some renovation.

"Yeah, of course! Your hair got longer; it looks so much better on you." he smiles kindly.

"Thanks, you look great too." Luke replies and feels anxiety leaving his body. Not completely, obviously, but he's not frightened to say a word anymore. Compliments really do wonders, especially in the right company.

They take it easy from here. No one mentions their past hostility to each other, and they keep the conversation going. Luke finds out that Ashton is a year sober, so he doesn't drink either, and it calms Luke down a lot. Now he knows he doesn't have to deal with drunk Calum alone.

Calum, on the other hand, has been dancing for forty minutes straight and seems to get along with a blonde girl. Her name is Feye, and she's studying archaeology. She's nice and chatty, probably a bit drunk, as she's flirting with Calum a lot. Although he's doing the same.

"So you like all these dinosaurs and stuff?" Calum asks. He wants to sound smart, but he just isn't. Not on this topic, anyway.

"That's an interesting take," she giggles, looking up at him as her hands lock around his neck. "But yeah, dinosaurs, history, geology, and a lot more. I was just fascinated by it as a kid and decided to get into it professionally."

"I liked those space and volcano encyclopaedias as a kid too. Especially volcanos. I even went to Pompeii to see it all." he replies. They're dancing slower now as they're tired, but also to keep the conversation going—it's not easy to hear each other here.

"Wanna see my research on it? Did it a year ago." Feye asks. Her green eyes look right into Calum's, and he feels shivers down his spine. It's like she's pulling him closer with just her gaze.

"Definitely." he nods. He's a lot more interested in her than in her project, though.

"At my dorm in a couple of hours, then? Room 304." she smiles, looking up one last time, and runs her hands along his body, taking a step back.

"Meet you there." he responds and gets back to the table, hiding a smile.

"Seems like someone's not going home tonight, eh, Cal?" Luke asks, nudging him, and Ashton chuckles beside him.

"She's cute." Calum shrugs, taking a sip of his drink.

"Indeed she is." Ashton adds.

"And you?" Calum asks, looking at them questionably. He has no idea what they could've been talking about all this time, but he is glad they feel comfortable with each other.

"I wasn't even looking for someone." Ashton shakes his head.

"Me neither." Luke shrugs. "But," he stands up, "I'm gonna go dance with Sierra. She seems bored."

Sierra is standing at a bar with tequila in her hands and is looking through the crowd as she sees Luke approaching her. Her face lights up instantly when she sees his curls bouncing as his body moves to the beat of the music.

"You want a drink?" she asks, offering the glass in her hand to him.

"I'm driving." he smiles. "I just thought you're bored, so I decided to join.. whatever this is." he motions to her.

"You'll scare away all the guys." she jokes when she doesn't even want guys to come up to her.

"Like you need them. Come on, dance with me?" he takes her hand and pulls her away from the bar to the half-empty dance floor without waiting for her response. She never minds dancing with Luke. He's fun, he doesn't get embarrassed while dancing, and he keeps all the creeps away from touching her—and unfortunately, it's happened too many times, so now Luke constantly has to be somewhere around. It's a win for everyone.

"So how's it going with Ashton?" she asks.

Luke leans down because he can't hear her over the loud music, and, well, because she's short. Sierra feels his hot breath too close to her neck but doesn't back away, because it obviously feels nice to her. She usually gets irritated when people get so close to her, but she knows Luke is clingy, so she doesn't mind.

"What?" he asks right in her ear.

"How are things with Ashton? Everything's alright?" she asks again, getting on her tiptoes and holding onto his shoulders for support. His hands touch her waist slightly, almost making her shiver.

"I gotta admit-"

"No way! Luke Hemmings is admitting he was wrong. Should we celebrate?" she jokes.

"Yes, we should, actually. As I was saying, I gotta admit I was wrong about him. He's a great guy, and we have a lot in common." Luke nods with a smile.

"Yeah, I figured. You two have been talking for like an hour there." she motions to the table. The corner is too dark to actually make out something, but she was staring at him for so long that her eyes adjusted.

"Were you watching us?" Luke asks.

"I was, yes. I told you I wouldn't leave your side." she shrugs.

When she looks to the table again, she sees Calum and Ashton gathering their stuff.

"You're leaving?" Sierra asks. She thinks it's a bit too early to leave: the music is still playing, there are still plenty of people dancing or at the tables, and her watch shows that it's only midnight.

"In ten minutes, yeah." Calum replies. "Ash will drive me to the dorm, so you and Luke can go together."

The rest of the time, they sit at the table, watching a local university band play. Sierra enjoys it quite a bit, urging her friends to do the same. She is fond of live music, even if she doesn't know the artist.

"Come on, cheer for the band, guys." she says, clapping. The band is good; it's true. The vocalist also plays guitar; he's fit, and his shirt might be too tight on his biceps, but it's most probably on purpose.

They see the guy approaching their table after the band finishes their set, and Luke wants to smile, but he sees him looking mostly at Sierra, so he already knows where it's going. "Hey, I was.." he starts nervously, "I saw you watching us play. Thanks for coming." Sierra nods. "You want to get dinner together sometime?"

She looks lost for a split second, but takes the chance anyway. Even if she's not interested in him, she is interested in a free dinner. "Sure, I'd love to."

They exchange numbers, and the guy leaves as the place is closing soon. As the bench squeaks under their weights and they all get up to leave, Calum lets Luke and Ashton go ahead and stays with Sierra.

"Mind telling me what the hell you're doing?" he whispers.

"What?"

"You know what."

"Just because I'm in love with him," she motions to Luke walking in front of them, "doesn't mean I can't go on dates with other guys. It's not like I agreed to marry him. Just a date."

"Why?" he asks. "If you love him, why go on a date with someone else?" Both of their logics are confusing to him.

"I'm not just going to sit and wait for him, am I? It's been years, Cal. I'll never stop loving him, but I need a break." she sighs—it is confusing to her too. "Go have fun with your girl, alright?" he nods and goes to Ashton's car.

"So is this girl a one-night stand or..?" Ash asks as they're driving to the dorm.

"I don't know yet, but I do fancy her. She seems smart." he replies.

"Have a great night then." Ashton smirks as Calum gets out of the car.

He gets to the third floor and becomes a bit anxious at first, but then remembers he has nothing to worry about. Cory and Petunia are with Luke's parents for the weekend, so he doesn't have to worry about that. Luke is driving Sierra home, so it's all good too. Feye seems like a nice person, and even if they don't have sex tonight, he's sure they'll have a great time.

He knocks on her door, which has posters on it even from outside, and she opens almost immediately. He can see she's been waiting for him; she changed her clothes into a more revealing dress that is easy to take off.

"I thought you'd never come." she says, smiling and inviting him in. The room isn't big; it's a dorm after all, but it's nice—as nice as it can be. Lots of flowers and posters everywhere give it a modern look, like someone wants to live here. Calum notices it's quite light, too; he's too used to the darkness of his flat.

"That's what she said." he laughs and she rolles her eyes at him.

"Stop it." Feye nudges him, and kisses him all of a sudden. Calum is taken aback for less than a second as he remembers why he's actually here, tasting the wine on her lips.

"I really wanted to see that research." he says, smiling but kissing her again. She smiles and promises to show it to him in the morning, although they both know neither of them will remember it in the morning.

They keep kissing until they reach the edge of the bed, and Calum sits down on the soft velvet blanket that's covering the bed with Feye on his lap. In her head, she's thinking about how she's not usually dominant, but right now she wants to be in charge of the kissing part. Calum's hands wander all around her body, gripping into her skin sometimes, and as he gets to unbutton her bra, she lets out a quiet moan that already sends Calum over the edge.

Meanwhile, Luke and Sierra get into his car, as they've decided they're both going to her place. Luke is too tired to drive her home and then get back by himself, but he's definitely not leaving her to go home alone.

Sierra puts her feet on the dashboard of the car, and Luke gets nervous, putting his right hand on her leg. She looks at his chipped red nail polish and wants to comment on it, but he speaks up first.

"Hey, don't do that. It's not safe for you." he says, his eyes fixed on the road.

"Why not?" she asks, but takes her feet off of it. She likes to argue with him about everything, but she's also learnt to know when he's being serious.

"If there's an accident or I hit the brakes too abruptly, you can get your legs broken. I'm sober, but let's not risk it."

flashback

Oliver and him would always drive too fast. They both loved the adrenaline that the feeling of danger caused. They loved the feeling of carelessness. Luke had just bought his car and obviously wanted to show it off to his boyfriend. Before that, Oliver would drive them around.

"Can you turn it up a bit?" Oliver said, humming to the song on the radio and placing his feet on the dashboard.

"Sure." Luke replied, looking at the gesture but not saying anything. The adrenaline feels too good, and not caring feels too good.

They'd been together for a few months at the time, but they got together too quickly. Almost out of boredom. They liked the sex; they liked spending time together, but they didn't care for each other. Not the way loved ones should.

end of the flashback

"Do you want to do something when we get home or-" Sierra interrupts his memories.

"I'm really tired, so I'd take a shower and go to bed, if that's alright with you?" Luke replies. She nods, and they spend the rest of the ride in silence, listening to the radio quietly playing in the back of the car. Luke didn't choose the station, but somehow the music fits their mood just right.

Luke immediately goes to the bathroom when they enter Sierra's apartment. It's not spacious; her dad can't afford to pay rent for a bigger one, but she doesn't really need it. It's cosy and done the way she likes—a lot of free space, minimum furniture, but she still has everything she needs. It's clean and neat; Sierra makes sure of it. She likes having everything in its own place. And therefore, the flat always looks great, so she doesn't have to worry when she's inviting someone over.

Luke turns on the water and just stands there with his head down. The water is probably too hot, and he'll be dizzy soon, but it feels so amazing. The way it burns his skin a little, and how he gets shivers because of it. The water starts smelling of chlorine when summer starts, and he can't help remembering his childhood weekends spent at swimming training.

In a few minutes, he has to sit down because his body is tired and he can't continue washing up. It feels like a chore. His whole life feels like a chore. The bathroom is getting steamy, his chest feels tight, and his head starts to spin, and so he calls Sierra. It's inappropriate, yes, they don't usually see each other naked, but somehow he's so sure she won't even look his way. She'll find a way to help him without looking.

"Why'd you call me?" she says from the other side of the door, pressing her ear to it to hear him clearly.

"Can you help.." he squeaks weakly, enough for her to hear.

She opens the door and is immediately hit with a cloud of steam that's stopping her from taking a full breath. "Luke, turn the water off; I can barely breathe in here."

"Same." he replies with a weak smile, reaching for the tap and turning the water off. He does feel like he can't breathe, like he's having a panic attack, but it's not actually it. Sierra opens the window to let some fresh air in while Luke is still sitting in the bathtub, with only a curtain separating them.

"Are you alright there?" she asks, coming up to the curtain but then taking a step back.

"Yeah, just.. tired. And dizzy." he whispers with his chin on his knees, staring blankly in front of himself.

"No shit, Sherlock. Don't do such a thing ever again, got it?" she says, opening the door too. The room isn't steamy anymore, and Luke gets back to his senses a lot quicker. "Will you at least wrap a towel around yourself, and I'll walk you to bed?"

"Yeah, yeah, gimme a second." he stands up as she leaves the room. His hands grip the first towel he sees and put it under his feet because she will tell him off for making a mess—he's sure of it—then he gets a big one and wipes most of the water off.

"That's my face towel, Luke." Sierra sighs as she walks in and sees what he's standing on.

"Face? I thought it was for feet." he replies quietly with a smile—of course, he found a way to screw up.

"It literally says FACE in capital letters." she points to the letters on the towel. It does say "face".

"Sorry." he giggles.

"Ugh, forget it, I might as well just throw it away." she mutters. Sierra isn't mad; she even finds it a bit funny.

"Why? Just wash it." Luke is so oblivious.

"It's your feet! Gross!" she laughs. Although it's no joke, it's really gross.

"Use it to mop the floors then." he replies, already going to the bedroom after he folds the towel in the corner. Fresh air really is a miracle.

"That will do, I guess." she mutters and follows him.

After she takes a shower too, they both get dressed and then under covers to sleep. Luke notes how Sierra never has enough pillows in her bed; he does it every time they sleep in her bed.

"What was it? In the bathroom? Looked like a really stupid way to kill yourself?" she jokes. Luke's not laughing.

"It's just.. you know how one day you wake up completely tired and you feel like your whole life is trash and then you feel like that for the rest of your life? " he asks, summing up his life in one sentence.

"You're tired?" she asks, turning her face to his. She keeps studying his features as if she's never seen him so close before.

"I.. I feel so empty all the time." he sighs, avoiding her gaze. He loves talking like this, it's his favourite thing, but he can't help feeling embarrassed.

"Emotionless?"

"Yeah. I never feel emotions. I'm never excited or happy about anything."

"Come on, I saw you cheerful. And happy. Or sad. These are emotions too." she says, tracing lines on his shirt.

"Because I wanted you to see me like that. I don't feel it. I just think that I should feel this exact emotion at this exact moment, so I show it, but in reality, it's empty here." he points to his chest. "I don't feel anything."

"But you always say, jokingly, I hope, that you cry yourself to sleep. Is that a lie too?" she asks softly. Never pushes him, just asks, trying to understand him. She knows how different they are mentally, but she never stops her attempts to understand this difference.

"Not a lie, but I can't really escape that. My thoughts are just going all around my head, trying to find comfort and peace in any memory or something.. I don't know, anything. But I can't find it. I just want to fall asleep, you know? I don't want to think about how miserable I am. " he says so calmly. He really is emotionless. He says it as if it's something he's been thinking about a lot and been craving to tell someone. And finally, someone asked.

He turns away from her for a moment and notices her sketches on the desk. "You're painting again?"

"Yeah, wanted to start again." It used to be her priority in high school, but since they started university, she's been doing less and less of what actually makes her content.

"Will you draw me?" he asks, turning back and meeting her eyes. He sees hesitation in hers.

"No, I don't draw people." she smiles softly.

"Why not?" Luke asks.

"Such paintings usually hold too many memories and feelings. I don't like that, cause the feelings may change, but the painting will still have them." She's just as scared of losing people as Luke is. But she's also scared of what will stay with her after they leave.

"Do you think your feelings for me will change?" he asks, and he's a bit concerned. He's not ready to lose this friendship yet. Or ever.

"We never know." she shrugs, trying to play it cool. She really hopes they'll never change, because as much as she hates the fact that her romantic feelings aren't mutual, she likes loving him. It's safe, and it's comforting.

"Why do you draw? You're not selling those, and I never see your paintings around your apartment, so why?"

"Painting is a metaphor for control. I choose everything. The sketches, the scenery, the colours, the details. I'm in charge of that." She likes the feeling of being in control of at least a small part of her life; it makes her feel far more powerful.

"Wow, never heard such a take. I love it." he replies, getting closer. "Cuddles before we fall asleep?"

"Sure." she says and he hugs her. She's the little spoon now, which makes her feel protected. Luke's body is a lot bigger than hers, and it's squishing her delicately, scared to shatter her.

"You have that necklace. The daisy one. I like it." Luke says, face close to her neck, slightly touching the chain of the necklace.

"Yeah, I always wear it." she replies, touching the little daisy on her chest.

"I know." he sighs, clearly half-asleep. "I like it."

Here's the update, finally. hope you liked it! please don't forget to vote at the end and comment if you want <3 thank you for reading xx