Kiss Me - Jason Walker

As they're driving back, the snowing gets even heavier, and Luke is genuinely mesmerized. He loves the quiet of winters, he loves how heavy but lightweight it feels at the same time. He loves getting so cold that he stops feeling his body, and he can be numb both physically and mentally. It makes him realise how small he is in this world, and how his mind is all that actually exists.

He slows the car a bit, and starts driving in a new for Sierra direction. When she asks him where they're going - because it's definitely not to either of their flats - he just shrugs and tells her to wait. If it was any other guy, she'd be freaking out, but it's Luke and he would never put her in danger. So she just relaxes in the passenger seat and looks out of the window.

"Is that John Knox's house?" she says as they're driving along a narrow street and she sees an old building with a "JOHN KNOX HOUSE" sign. She recognizes it from her history class. "I hate that guy." she sighs, and Luke tries to look like he understands what she's talking about. "He hated women so much, especially royal women. What a freak."

Luke still doesn't give away his absence of knowledge on the topic, and just agrees with her by calling him a moron. They drive further and further, and Sierra understands they're going a little bit out of town. Luke turns right from the road and stops the car as they reach a forest.

"So what, you're kidnapping me now?" Sierra says, getting out of the car. It keeps on snowing, and she can't stop looking at the snowflakes that land on Luke's curls.

"You said you'd let me kidnap you, so I'm taking the chance." he smiles at her and she can't really believe he remembers it. She said this more than half a year ago, and he remembers. He comes up to her, getting her into a hug, and leans in to kiss her when she starts giggling suddenly. "What?"

"It's gonna be our fifth kiss, right?" she says, and looks up at Luke only to see him frowning, but smiling.

"You're counting?" he chuckles.

Sierra buries her face in her hands, "It's so embarrassing, I'm sorry." she chuckles too.

"It's not."

"Come on." she mumbles into his chest.

"Alright, it is, but who cares." he laughs. "We're alone here, so the only ones who've heard you say this were me and maybe some deer or wolves or whatever they have in this forest."

"Wolves?" she grips his arms tighter, looking around.

"They're not gonna judge you."

"Come on, Luke." she whines. "Are there really wolves here? "

"No, I was joking." he smiles at her, and of course she doesn't believe him.

"Were you?" she tilts her head.

"Let's stand here for a moment in complete silence and you'll hear that there's no one here, okay?"

Sierra nods and they just stand in a middle of a forest, completely silent, looking up and watching the snow fall down. Luke holds her hands, playing with her fingers slightly, and she feels like she's never been calmer in her life. The world is so quiet now just for the two of them. A few minutes later they hear a branch break, and Sierra looks up at Luke immediately.

"What was that?" she whispers, scared to speak up.

"Shh," he says, looking somewhere past her. "It's a bunny." she softens immediately. "If we walk really quietly and get down, it might not even notice us." Luke says, and she nods at him.

Sierra turns around very slowly so to not make any noise, and they both sit down behind the nearest bush and just watch the scene. Everything goes well until they get hit by a bunch of snow from the branches above of a tree next to them. Sierra squeaks and Luke covers her mouth to keep her quiet and to not scare the bunny.

"Shh, look. " he points to the bunny who got scared of the snow and started jumping away. But soon it stops and looks back at the tree, and all three of them are very well aware of each other, so the bunny gives them one last look and disappears deep into the forest.

Luke takes his hand away from Sierra's face and she bursts out laughing. Her legs get tired and she finds herself sitting in the snow and soon enough she lays down completely, tugging Luke to do the same. They lazily throw snow at each other while laughing so loud when there's actually nothing to laugh about. They just enjoy the moment. Luke suggests making snow angles since they're already laying on the ground, and they really try to make it work, but their hands keep brushing and they're too lazy to move away from each other. They might not want to move away from each other.

"My hair is getting wet." Luke says, laying on the ground and just looking at the sky above them. Sierra gets on top of him and runs her hand through his hair to make sure it really is wet. As her fingers touch his wet curls, she nods to herself and pulls him to sit up. She straddles his lap when he sits up, and then he kisses her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I'm so wet." Sierra says as they get up. Luke just looks at her silently. "I mean the clothes." she whines, realizing how it must have sounded right after their kiss. They both giggle at that and go back to the car. They help each other to clean off the snow from their clothes and get inside.

"I'm starving." Sierra says as Luke turns the car on. "You too?" she turns to him.

"No, actually." he shrugs, not turning to her, and drives the car out of the forest.

"You haven't eaten anything either, though." she frowns. They didn't have time to have breakfast in the morning, and even though breakfast is really important for Sierra, she didn't mind spending that time kissing Luke instead.

"Then I guess I just don't feel it."

"Are you not eating again?" she asks firmly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like.. a mom."

"You wanna eat out somewhere or just go home?" Luke asks instead, completely ignoring the last part she said, and Sierra doesn't push it. She doesn't want to ruin the mood, because they've spend an amazing morning together and he seems to be enjoying it too. He'll eat with her, she knows it, so there's no need to force him to answer, especially when they both know the answer.

They stop at the traffic lights and Luke looks over to Sierra. She opens a bobby pin with her mouth, and he wonders whether it's supposed to look this hot or it's just that his perception of her has completely changed.

"My hair is wet too, I'll pin it up." she says, and turns to him, "Do you need me to do something with yours? Does it feel sticky on your neck?" Luke just smiles at her and shakes his head.

"This is the cemetery where your mother is buried." he says, looking out to his left.

"It is, wanna stop here?"

"You want to visit her?"

"No, I'd just like to have a walk there. I like cemeteries, they're very peaceful."

"Really?" Luke says, stopping the car and stepping out of it.

"Yeah, it's so quiet even when there's lots of people here." Sierra replies, walking between the graves. "Everyone speaks quietly, it's like they're scared to disturb the dead."

Luke understands her - he loves the quiet, too. They have different perceptions of quiet, though. For Luke quiet means the sound of waves that makes his mind go silent. For Sierra it's a place where it's so quiet that the only thing she hears is her own mind.

They wander around for a bit, looking at the stones and thinking what kind of lives the people buried under them might have had. After, they decide to come back to Sierra's flat where Luke will cook her - them - a meal.

As he's standing beside the stove, she comes to hug him from behind. Hugging him feels like home and she does it all the time. It's like she's clinged to him.

"I'm so scared that this is not real." she whispers.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"That you waited for so long that now you can't believe it." he says, not stopping his cooking process. If he's honest, he doesn't know much of what he's doing, but all the times when he watched Calum cook really helped him. "I hope you enjoy your time with me now and it doesn't feel like pretending anymore."

"It doesn't. It feel really nice." she sighs against his back.

"Just nice?" he smirks and Sierra can hear the teasing in his voice. She nudges him and goes to the fridge to prepare the drinks.

They put on a movie after finishing dinner, because Luke still doesn't feel like going home, even though Calum probably took Petunia on a walk twice today. They watch quite a mediocre rom com, so they mostly talk or cuddle. As they get to another sex scene in the movie, it makes Luke remember something he's been waiting to share with Sierra since he kissed her after that fair.

"I'm not really.. you know, experienced with women." he starts, and he doesn't know if it's too early for them to talk about something sexual. But as he said - he's not experienced in this.

"You've never been with a woman?" Sierra looks up at him from his chest where her head was laying just a second ago.

"I have, but only a few times."

"Did you like it?" she asks nervously.

"Are you scared I'm not gonna like it with you?" he smiles fondly.

"Just.. curious."

"Yeah, I liked it." Luke nods with a smile on his lips.

"Was it.. uh..?"

"Better than with guys?" he finishes her question. Sierra nods and it scares her how well he knows her and her mind, and how he  can understand her questions just like that. "It depended on the person." he replies. "You know that I wasn't in love with every person I had a relationship with. Feelings matter to me in sex."

"Why'd you have meaningless relationships then?" she frowns at him. This is the part of him that she never understood. She knows how deeply he feels everything, and yet he jumped from one relationship to another.

"Having sex with someone is better than doing it alone." Luke laughs.

"Okay, now we've gone too far." she says, getting up.

"Sorry." he smiles at her.

"No, it's okay." she tries to stop herself from pacing. "I'm just.. I'm not used to thinking about you that way."

"You've never thought of us having sex?" he looks up, but she's avoiding his gaze.

"You have?"

"I wasn't in love with you all these years, so it didn't cross my mind." he shrugs.

"I- it did cross my mind, but I never allowed myself to think about it too much. I didn't want to feel weird around you. You're my best friend." she sighs, and finally looks at him. Luke nods and they finish the conversation at this. It's probably a bit too early to talk about it.

He spends the next weeks mostly staying the night at Sierra's, but going back home for the day. They text 24/7 now, and despite being quite frequent texters before, now it's literally 24/7. Sierra even texts him during her classes, which is usually unacceptable for her.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and although they settled on not giving each other presents, Luke still tries to plan something. And he's not really good at it.

"I can take you out. Or we can just kill some time and stay home?" he texts her one afternoon.

She replies with "stay home." and no emoji, so he knows she's busy. He knows she likes spending time with him very lazily, having all of him to herself. He doesn't mind, it's easier for him, but sometimes he still feels like he needs to do something for her.

"Where are you going so late?" Calum asks when he sees Luke sneaking out.

"I, uh.. I just need to-"

"You've got a date?" Calum smirks. It's Valentine's Day after all, although he's meeting with Feye tomorrow because of her work schedule.

"No, no, I'm going to Sierra's place, she, uh, asked me.. she has a uni project and she needs me to-" Luke stutters, suddenly feeling so nervous. He doesn't understand why.

"Relax, Luke." Calum pats his shoulder, laughing. "So you're going to Sierra's, why are you so weird about it?" Luke laughs at him anxiously, and leaves the apartment after saying goodbye.

He drives to her flat, feeling all excited, and he doesn't even know why. He knows they'll spend their usual evening together. But somehow it feels so special knowing they're going through their first 'holiday' together, as a couple. It's like they've achieved something.

"I brought sushi!" Luke says, opening the door to her apartment. Yes, Sierra gave him a spare key. This way she can leave for university in the morning and not wake him up so she can lock the door - he can wake up whenever he needs to and lock the door himself. "Wow, you look stunning." he says, seeing her on the couch in her sweatpants. She laughs at him and runs into his hug.

"I've missed you so much." Sierra says, kissing him.

"You saw me two days ago." he giggles. She looks at him firmly. "Okay, yeah, I've missed you too." he kisses her nose and she sneezes. "Bless you. You alright? Are you catching a cold?" he touches her forehead.

"It's your beard, it's tickly." she smiles, touching his jaw. It's not like it's a full on beard, but it's slightly more facial hair than usual. "Are you growing it?"

"I'm just lazy." he laughs. He's not lazy. He barely has any energy to do his basic hygiene routine, just so he looks and smells somewhat presentable. Just so she doesn't notice it. So if he has to joke it off and say that he's lazy just so she doesn't worry about him, then he'll do it.

They sit together on the floor, eating sushi, and Sierra teaches Luke to hold his chopsticks for the 100th time. She soon gives up and just feeds him from her own hands. He listens to her while she's telling how her dad used to do the same when she was a kid. She couldn't learn to hold chopsticks properly either. Luke is admiring her when she's talking, he's so mesmerized. The way she talks, how she chooses her words, how she always sounds so kind, how her speech seems so confident and put-together. He just can't take his eyes off of her.

And of course she notices. She's been aware of how much differently he looks at her all these weeks. He tries to memorize every detail of her face, just like she did years ago. He doesn't just look at her to make her aware that he's listening, he looks at her because he wants to see her.

It makes her blush which Luke of course notices, and while laughing at the fact that she blushes just because he's looking at her, he spills his wine onto her. Luke apologises a billion times, but Sierra just smiles at him and goes to her bedroom to change. While he's waiting for her, he cleans everything up, and moves to the couch to put on some movie that they won't even watch. They usually talk and cuddle, sometimes kiss, but almost never watch the movie.

Luke gets up to turn off the lights so it's more comfortable to see the screen, when Sierra walks out in shorts and a tank top. Just that. It's all she's wearing.

"Aren't you cold?" he turns to her, touching her arm and feeling how hot her skin actually is.

"I know just the thing that'll get me hot." Sierra replies before kissing him. It's not that easy to kiss him while she's on her tiptoes, so soon enough they reach the couch. She wants to get on his lap, but stops herself and just sits beside him.

"I wanted to put on a movie first." Luke smiles against her lips. He hates doing something - kissing - in silence. He's too aware of everything around him then, and he doesn't want it.

"Screw the movie." she replies, but she still shifts away from him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." he smiles, but still reaches for the remote behind her and presses a few buttons so the movie is on, but they can barely hear it.

"How many people you were with?" she asks, and he looks at her surprised. She knows the approximate number, he tells her everything.

"Uh, so let's see." he starts thinking.

"Michael?" Sierra asks already.

"No, we were very young." Luke shakes her head. "It wasn't anything serious with him."

"Okay."

"So Oliver was the last one, and then this girl, in high school-" he starts, and it's so fascinating to Sierra how his mind works. He doesn't go in a chronological order - or in any order at that matter - he just talks in bits, just the way his thoughts move around.

"Jessica."

"You remember?" he raises his eyebrows. He himself barely remembers her.

"I hated her."

"Of course you did." he smiles at her fondly.

"Shut up!" she nudges him before kissing him again. She starts covering his face with kisses, starting with his lips, but then gently moving to his jaw, his cheeks, his nose, his eyes, his forehead, his temple.

"How many were you with?" he asks then.

"All my previous boyfriends. So four." she says, tracing lines on his chest.

"Okay." he nods.

"I can't tell if that's a good 'okay' or a bad one." she squints her eyes at him, looking up.

"It means I don't really care." he shrugs. "I don't know how it would change anything for me. I just asked your question back."

She nods at him, thinking the same, and kisses him again. This time she doesn't stop herself from straddling his lap. She puts her arms around his neck, whereas he places his hands on the small of her back. He's still a bit scared to place them lower.

They keep kissing as Sierra starts using all the forbidden tricks possible. She tugs his hair, remembering how it made Luke moan during one of the first times they've kissed. Her hips aren't staying in one place either. The atmosphere is getting heavier with each second passing by, with each kiss they share, with each gasp for air.

"Can you stop making that.." Luke tries saying between the kisses, "movement." he exhales, placing his hands on her thighs so she understands what he's talking about. "With your hips." he adds when she doesn't stop. "It gets me really hard." Sierra is very well aware how hard he is.

"Is that a bad thing?" she smirks at him, kissing his jaw.

"I just don't think we're there yet." Luke exhales again. Breathing seems so difficult to him right now.

"Well, we are here." she replies, looking down to where their thighs touch. "Both turned on."

And Luke honestly doesn't have any energy to reply to her. Partially because she's right, partially because he can't think straight, and partially because of how good making out with her feels. Luke's not the type to get into sex immediately, he loves the foreplay. But he loves it knowing it'll lead to sex. But with Sierra he doesn't want it to lead to anything, he wants to stay in this state, because he's not sure if he can handle more.

And Sierra isn't the one to be in charge during sex, she somehow never enjoyed it. But she can sense that Luke isn't going to make the first move, she can tell he's comfortable with how it is now. So she get off of his lap and drops to her knees reaching for his belt, looking up at him. She doesn't really know why he needs a belt anyway.

Luke isn't the best at reacting fast, but he's been getting ready since Sierra started shifting to get off of his lap. He knew she wouldn't just stop this out of nowhere. "Nah uh, nope." he gets on his knees in front of her too, so now they're face to face. As much as they can be with their height difference.

"Why?" she asks with her hands still on his belt.

"I'm not fooling around with you, I want to do this right."

"What's not right about me giving you a blowjob?" she asks, and it's really difficult for Luke to resist her right now. "Come on, it's not like I'm some kind of virgin who wants a perfect first time or something. Let's fool around, what's wrong with that?" Sierra says, looking up. And it's not that she actually thinks they're ready to cross this line in their relationship, but she's just really turned on.

"I just don't wanna rush into things." He says, placing his hands on hers and pulling them away from his belt. "Because I usually do that when it doesn't mean anything to me, but you mean everything to me. I want it to be right. I want to get to know you." He really can't believe he's saying these words with a boner in his pants.

"You know me." Sierra scoffs.

"Not like that." Luke shakes his head. "Not in a relationship."

"You just wanna talk?" she starts coming back to her senses gradually.

"Talk, or sit in silence, or lazily make out." he laughs.

"I get it," she laughs too, "but I don't want this crazy, you know, tearing-off-clothes-of-each-other sex - although I would like to tear off your clothes right now."

He smiles at her, "I know."

"Shut up, please." she nudges his shoulder. "So as I was saying," she continues, "I just want to take in the moment just because I feel like it right now, you know what I mean?" Only Sierra can say she's horny and make it sound so innocent and romantic.

"You can take in anything you want." he chuckles, because of course he has to make a joke.

"Ugh, Luke, come on, stop it." she whines, but laughs too. It is funny.

"I'm sorry." he kisses her just to make it up for the whole situation.

"Are we dating in secret?" It suddenly hits Sierra that she doesn't even have anyone who she can tell what's just happened.

"I don't know, are we?"

"Have you told anyone?" she asks. She knows he doesn't have anyone except for her and Calum, so she's curious about how he handles it.

"No, you?"

"No."

They both laugh.

"Should we tell Calum at least?" Luke says. After all, he's been rooting for them - silently - all this time.

"Yeah, definitely."

oooh, things are getting spicier, eh? im kidding, so anyway, here's the chapter, I really hope you liked it, so please tell me what you think in the comments (i was especially anxious about the sexual part, cause I've never written something like this before so please tell me if it's cringe or not lmao)

thank you for reading and please don't forget to vote in the end xx