He managed to sneak off to a bathroom. Just to catch his breath, he promised himself.

However, he ended up spending a hour in there.

His hands were shaking violently and he had thrown up in the toilet. For once, he didn't make himself purge. It just happened naturally.

He felt hot, pulling off his suit jacket and cape, putting them beside his gloves he abandoned earlier.

"I just want to go home, please let me go home," he whispered to himself quietly. He was rocking on the floor, back and forth, handings tugging at his hair.

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Jimmy looked to the door swallowing his words. Nobody needed to hear him.

Knock, knock, knock, knock

"Sorry, I'll be out in a minute." He managed to choke out, wiping his tears off his cheeks.

The knocking became louder.

"I-I'm sorry, I just need another minute." Jimmy got up, reaching for his jacket and cape.

The knocking was repetitive.

He slipped his jacket on and buttoned his cape securely.

Clang, clang, clang, clang

A bathroom decoration fell from the sink where he was at, staring at his face.

Bang, bang, bang, bang

His heart jumped in his throat. He couldn't recognize the face that stared back at him.

Splash, splash, splash, splash

He frantically sprayed water at his pale face. He didn't recognize it. He couldn't recognize it.

And then he stared at it again, the water dripping down his jaw to his chin. He stopped the frantic thoughts that echoed in his head.

And turning to the door, he couldn't hear it. There was nobody knocking.

He sighed, maybe it was just his imagination. He hoped it was anyways.

He turned back to the mirror, looking over his face.

His hand dipped under his chin, pulling the collar of his shirt down. There layed rope scars, wrapped around his own neck. There was no way to get rid of them.

Maybe I should have offed myself that day. A thought whispered to him.

Jimmy pulled back suddenly, letting the collar drift back up. Tightening his tie, it was securely over the scar, hiding his secret from the world.

Taking his gloves gingerly, he put them on before slipping out of the bathroom. The hall was fairly empty but Coral was there.

"Prince Jimmy," she greeted, walking over to him with a plate covered with a napkin, "the chef accidently burnt a few of the cookies." She pulled back the napkin and there layed a few cookies. Double chocolate, his favorite.

"Thank you Coral, but I'm not quite hungry." He said, smiling softly at the gesture.

"I insist! We will not have guests eating bad cookies!" She said, pushing the plate to him.

Jimmy took one and took a bite.

And gosh, his stomach fell in love.

"Coral, these don't taste very burnt." Jimmy said, taking another bite.

"Oh, that chef lied to me! They said that these were too dark!" Coral said, sighing. "I guess you can finish these since they are already out here. Just don't get a tummy-ache." She said, a slight smile dashing across her lips as she walked away.

Jimmy knew that she knew the cookies were perfectly fine. There was nothing wrong with them in the first place. The chef most likely didn't say anything anyways.

She was showing her form of love and Jimmy felt it.

---

Jimmy rolled in bed that night, unable to sleep.

The past event rolled through his mind like it was a broken record player.

Which, he also had in his room.

Of course on the one night he has trouble sleeping, the record player keeps skipping. He almost wanted to fix it for himself but he was scared it would really break. He will send it to the royal technician in the morning.

He sighed into his pillow, hand lightly running over his scars. Some of them were becoming more resistant to the pain. It almost soothed him to run his hands across the scars.

Recently, during summer nights, he slept with his shirt and pants off. It was so his sensituve skin wouldn't get scratched and he could relax without having long sleeves all the time.

Knock, knock, knock

Jimmy instinctively closed his eyes. He remembers doing it whenever his mother was angry and wanted to punish him during the late nights. Pretending to be asleep so maybe she would have some pity and let him go for the night.

The door opened but the footfalls were unfamiliar.

Everyone had a specific sound when they walked through the castle. It was obvious.

His father walked with slow and heavy feet and when he wore shoes, a clacking sound could be made.

His mother had almost the same but hers were more fast. She rarely wore heels, saying they hurt her feet so her slippers made soft sounds against the floors.

Lizzie's steps were quiet and graceful. Much like herself. Her shoes would make the most sound as they clomped down the hall but only because she loved the sound. Lizzie adored the sounds of shoes against floors.

Coral's were rushed like she had something to do constantly. She always wore heels, letting the clop down the hall. Lizzie used to listen, telling Jimmy that one day, her shoes would do the same.

Ben's footsteps were quiet. You couldn't hear them unless they wanted you to. They had made it a habit to be louder around Jimmy, easing his fears and flinches.

But these?

These were graceful, quiet, and slow all at the same time. The only reason he could hear them was the creaks in his floor, groaning with each step.

Jimmy panicked.

What if this was an intruder? What if he was being assassinated in his sleep? What if this was the end?

He stayed still and had his eyes shut tight.

"Timmy?" He slightly relaxed. It was Grian who snuck in his room. But why?

The bed shifted, lowering as Grian sat on it. His hand lightly brushed through Jimmy's hair.

"You are still such a heavy sleeper." Grian let out a small laugh as if the thought amused him. His hand drifted to Jimmy's cheek, rubbing his cheekbone softly. "I missed you. I really did. I wanted to come back, really, but... something happened." Jimmy knew he should probably tell Grian that he was awake but he was frozen. "Timmy, I see you dead in my dreams."

A chill ran up Jimmy's spine at that. He didn't know what to do or think about that statement.

"T-They killed you. I didn't want it to happen. Everyone was dead but for some reason, you being gone hurt the most." Grian's hand faltered before continuing to cup his cheek. "I got so used to it. Every night just seeing you dead as they laughed. I became numb to it. I was used to it. God, there was so much blood everywhere." Jimmy felt a droplet of water hit his face. "I had to come back. I had to see if you were alive. I could care less about anyone else. I'm alive to protect you. I will protect you, I will be here for you. I'm here for you. If anything happened to you, I couldn't live with myself." With a start, Jimmy realized that the droplets falling on his own face were Grian's tears. "If you got hurt, I would kill myself to bring whoever it is to justice. I've been through so much without you and it hurts to think about. Timmy, I-I hate the person I've become.

"This isn't me. I'm so scared about anything bad happening. Everything that happened with Samgladiator years ago was a fucking mess. I don't know how I made it out." He let out a dark chuckle, pressing his forehead against Jimmy's. "He tortured me. I couldn't escape. I almost wanted to come home but I did it. I left him and ran. Taurtis and I ran. I made a safe haven for us." Grian paused, letting out a sob. "You would have loved it. Everyone was so nice and understanding. I was the leader there. Not quite the king or prince. I could still be myself. But, the Watchers found me." He ran his hand through Jimmy's hair again. "Sam could only dream to torture me like they did. They made an illusion of you. You were so grown up, I was so proud of you. I didn't realize that it was a fake. They killed the illusion. Right in front of me and I had to watch with every agonizing second as they practically ripped you limb from limb. I couldn't do anything but scream. I wasn't strong enough, I'm sorry." Grian broke down into full blown sobs, the only sound echoing in the silent room.

Jimmy felt uncomfortable.

He didn't know what to do with this information. He could barely wrap his head around it all. It didn't make sense. Grian should be the one happy. His perfect older brother was always happy.

Jimmy didn't deserve feeling angry at Grian at leaving or even sad when his brother was going through so much.

Just when he was about to get up and hug his older brother, Grian sniffled and spoke again.

"I really needed to vent, I'm sorry. You are the only one who is a deep sleeper. The only one I could share this to without you understanding. My burdens are only for me to carry but Timmy, please talk to me. I don't care if you wake me up at two in the morning, but please don't bottle everything up like I have been doing. It's bad but I shouldn't be sharing with someone so young. So full of life and free." Grian laughed sourly at that, taking a deep breath.

He got up, going to tuck Jimmy in.

However, there was a slight problem with that.

The moon perfectly hit his bed so he was lit up by the soft light. With Grian in the way, he couldn't see the scars that were on Jimmy's skin.

"If you got hurt, I would kill myself to bring whoever it is to justice."

Yeah, Jimmy couldn't let him do that.

So he pretended to shift in his sleep, pulling the blanket up all the way to his chin and letting his hair fall into his face.

"Such a deep sleeper. Tim, I love you." Grian pushed back his hair before pressing a kiss to Jimmy's forehead.

And then, the door closed.

Jimmy's eyes snapped open, staring at the ceiling.

That felt... off. Like majorly off. He felt like he couldn't be left alone with his brother. His brother was acting strange. He sounded... almost unhinged as he spoke to Jimmy.

The laughing, the weird wording at the end of what he had said? It felt extremely uncomfortable.

Sitting up, he stared at the broken record player.

Maybe monsters didn't live under the bed or in the closet.

Maybe they lived in the people that you looked up to the most.

(Yikes)