I gasp at the feeling of Danny's body pressing into mine. Tonight, I'll wear my suit, tomorrow the dress. It's the night of the rehearsal dinner and I hate to admit I'm nervous. My eyes met his, in our reflection of the mirror. I'm immersed in the way he pushes my hair aside off my neck, then plants several kisses along the spot, making my entire body hum. I feel like I've woken from a long slumber and I'm just now learning to live.

"Everything okay?" he asks, lifting his head, and resting his chin against my shoulder.

"Couldn't be better." I smile, but it's not lighting up my face.

I despise the small part of me that will always want Bennett, and I hate that. I know I'm not doing this to fill the void he left, I'm doing it because my feelings for Danny are real. That could be our downfall. What if he feels like I'm only with him because I can't be with Bennett? What if other people tell him that? I'd never forgive myself if I hurt either of them, or if I tore them apart.

Spinning me, he pulls me into him. "Hey, Fallon. You alright? I don't want to pressure you to be here with me, or to have you feel obligated..."

"Obligated? You think that I'm here because I feel obligated. Like you confessing is the only reason? That you're just here to fill all the pieces he couldn't?"

"I know you're not that kind of a person, but I can see the fear in your eyes. Are you afraid of what people will say?"

Since the bachelor party, Danny and I have hung low. He and I are trying to figure out the feelings raging between us. Things were tense for the rest of that trip, but we made it through. Bennett and I only spoke if we needed to.

On top of that, we've all been busy with work too. Bennett with his wedding prep, and Everett prepping for his big move. Two days ago, we got the news, he's moving to Boston for a job. There's been tension regarding that too. It almost feels as if this huge chapter in our life is closing. I hate that we could all be those friends that don't see each other for years, and when we get together it's reminiscing of old times and not living in the moment.

"It feels like I'm losing everyone, while gaining this whole new relationship as well."

The light filtering through his window blurs with the tears pushing through. I glance down and blink, releasing a few that find their way out.

"I want this. I want you." My lips tremble. "I want everyone to find their own way, but at the same time I want us all together again, and it feels as if we're more torn apart than ever. I'm sorry, it's stupid."

He crushes me to his chest, running his hand through my hair. Resting his cheek on my head, he sniffles a little too.

"It's not stupid. There are days when I wish we could all go back to high school, because it was easier back then. It didn't feel as if the world was closing in, it felt like we had all this time to be together and nothing would ever change."

"Change sucks."

"It does." He pauses, and sticks his finger under my chin, lifting it with ease.

My eyes meet his.

"But are you at least a little excited to see where this goes?"

"Of course, I am." I reach up, grasping his scruffy face in my hands. I hold onto him like if I let go, he'll be gone forever. "There's always been something there between us. I felt it that night you stayed on the phone with me in college, and I know it was there long before. I'm looking forward to starting this journey together. I hope that you can understand that I can't just drop my feelings for him. It's going to take time."

"Do you wanna step away from what we have? Give it time? I'm not looking to rush you into anything you're not ready for. Please, tell me, and I will step back. I've waited this long, what's a little bit longer."

I shake my head, moving my face closer to his. "No. We don't have to step back. Maybe take it slow, but I mean we've already gone at full speed."

We softly chuckle against each other's lips.

"I'm just asking for some time to close up that wound. I like this. I want to be with you. You make me feel whole again." It's my turn to take a breather. There's a knot the size of Texas in my throat. "Danny,' I whisper.

"Yeah." His voice is quiet.

"I'm scared. If I fuck this up, I don't know what I'll do."

He presses a kiss to my forehead and closes his eyes.

"Let's take it day by day. Okay? I'm willing to give you the chance and whatever space you need to figure things out. Let's not live with what could be, or what was, let's focus on today."

"My faults are shining through."

"I can help with that."

His voice is light, as he kisses my lips again. I let him in and press my body to his. Lifting his head, he whispers, "You look fucking gorgeous in this suit. It's too bad there isn't easier access." He smirks against my ear.

With my shaking fingers, I unbutton the top of the gray pants. "Oops. My button mysteriously popped open."

"We're going to be late," he says.

I shrug. "We've got time."

Before I have a chance to say anything further, he's lowering himself and tugging at my pants. His eyes flicker up for a moment before they roam over my entire body. I'm scared, but not at the same time. I don't think he has anything to worry about, especially when he stares at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the room.

###

We aren't late. By the time we walk in everyone else is starting to arrive as well. Bennett is across the venue talking to his parents, but his eyes lift finding Danny and I. We're almost matching in a similar color gray. He does a double take, and his attention focuses on our hands connected.

Everett comes up to us first, blocking him from view.

"Hey you two. Matching. I like it."

We glance at each other, then smirk. "Oh-god we're one of those couples," I say, giggling.

He bumps a hip into mine.

"Oh, you guys. See, this is why this can't happen, I wanna gag at how perfect you two are," Everett says, laughing.

"I mean there's room for one more," Danny teases.

"Oh, no, I'm good. You can all be perfect together," he says. "Oh, looks like they are about to start."

Julia's gaze is on me the second I step out of Danny's arms. Her lip turns up seeing that I'm in a suit, and then she goes back to talking to one of her bridesmaids with golden blonde hair. I sent her a message yesterday thanking her for offering the hair and makeup, and that I would be doing it on my own.

After this is over Danny and I are going to a drive-thru movie and I'm spending the night again. Tomorrow, I'm going to get dressed with the guys, and do my own makeup. Julia said it was okay, but it's easy to see that she's not happy I declined or that I'm getting ready with the guys.

Danny greets Bennett first when we get to the front of the aisle. It's one of those chin nods. I'm not sure what to do.

I glance around the room. It's a nice venue, small but serves its purpose. The room they are getting married in is a large open space with lots of windows. White chairs line the sides, a red carpet is unrolled down the center. There's green ivy intertwined in the chairs and over the archway where Bennett is standing.

"Hey."

I'm shocked by the sound of Bennett's voice. Danny goes in for a hug and Bennett accepts it. When he steps out of the way, Bennett's eyes roam up and down my body.

"You look great, Fal," he whispers.

I give a soft smile. "Thanks."

He sighs, but there's a smile under there. His eyes meet Julia's at the back of the chairs waiting for her cue. He gives a wave.

Danny grabs me from behind pulling me over with him and Everett. We stand together, me in the middle, and Bennett a few steps in front of us. The bridesmaids walk down, the cute little flower girl, and the young ring bearer in the radio flyer.

They go through the motions of the ceremony. My head spins, and my body heats up. Watching him up there, the two of them chatting, smiling, and laughing tugs on my heart a little, but when Danny reaches for my hand holding it tight, all the pain vanishes.

###

We're in between dinner and dessert. The restaurant we are at is a little too fancy for my taste. Apparently, Julia's parents have some money and since they didn't want to splurge big on the wedding, they went all out for dinner.

I need air, so I'm outside the restaurant. We're close to the water, down the street are the docks. There's a soft breeze coming off the bay, making it a little chillier than normal.

The door to the restaurant opens, and Bennett steps out. He finds me on the bench, hunched over, staring off across the street at the small little deserted park.

"Hey. Is this seat taken?" he asks, pointing to the empty space on the old wooden bench.

"No. It's free."

The bench creaks under his weight as he sits. For a few lingering moments neither of us say anything.

"Fallon." His voice trembles, making me curious enough to lift my gaze.

He leans forward, elbows on his leg, mimicking my position. "I am so sorry. I screwed up. I don't want to lose you, ever. I can't get you out of my head. Never could actually."

I wince, wishing he'd just keep all of that to himself. I don't want to know. Not now. I'm happy with Danny.

"It's a little late now."

He sighs. "I know. Are you happy with him?" He holds his head in his hands and is refusing to look at me.

"I am. Are you, Bennett? Are you happy with her?"

He turns his head but keeps his hands in place. His eyes find mine and he shrugs. "Yeah. I think I am, but mostly, I'm angry with myself for holding back."

Again, there's silence between us, minus the world around us. Seagulls caw from the docks, two cars pass by, and someone opens the door of the restaurant allowing the chatter to flow out.

"If you liked me this whole time, why didn't you do anything about it?"

"Because he loved you first."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I stand. "What do you mean?"

He glances up, squinting into the fading sun.

"Danny. He's been in love with you since we were eight. I knew he liked you, and that stirred these jealous feelings inside of me. I wanted you, but you were my friend, it was wrong to have those feelings for you."

"There's no way he's liked me for that long. Why are you spewing lies?"

"It's not a lie. How you never noticed is beyond me."

Glancing up at the fading light in the sky, I sigh. "Maybe it's because I was too in love with you. You could have said something. At least we could have worked things out."

It's obvious from the way he bites down on his lip, that he's holding back and hiding the one thing that could have prevented this moment from happening.

"God damn it, Bennett. This whole time you knew, you knew I liked you, you liked me, so what the hell? This shit could have been avoided. Maybe that would have been me walking down that aisle." I throw my hand in the direction of the restaurant where I can see Julia in the large window laughing with her friends.

He stands, and I back away. I'm teetering on the edge of the sidewalk. The entrance to the restaurant is on a small residential street. The sidewalk is the only thing between the restaurant and the road.

"You're right. If I'd gotten my head out of my ass it would have been you. I'd marry you in a heartbeat, Fallon."

His confession nearly brings me to my knees. They wobble and shake under the pressure of it all.

"How, how can you say that now that your about to walk down the aisle with her? And when I'm in love with another man. How?"

I start walking towards the docks. I'm not sure why, but I need to get out of there. I came with Danny so I can't hop in my car and get out of here. Bennett's behind me, his footsteps are heavy. No matter how fast I run, he's at my heels. He grabs my arm and tugs me back into him. Tears race down my cheeks. He can't do this to me now. I'm with Danny, I love Danny.

I try to get him to release me, but he doesn't.

"Look at me, Fallon."

I shake my head and keep my focus on the pavement at our feet. "No. I can't."

"Fine."

He releases me but grabs my face in his hands instead. It's not rough, his touch is light and careful. He tugs me towards him and presses his lips to mine. I gasp out loud, a sob releasing behind it.

"No!" I push him away. He stumbles backwards. "No! You can't do that. I'm not yours to kiss."

The salty tears invade my trembling lips, and I'm nauseous from the taste. Over Bennett's shoulder my eyes land on Danny. NO. He's watching with his hands balled at his side. Bennett spins, and the moment he does he lifts his hands.

"Danny, it's not what you think."

Danny storms up to his best friend, his face red with anger, his body tense with fear, and decks him right in the face. Bennett stumbles but holds steady. He lifts a hand to his battered face.

Danny walks by both of us. He brushes past me without a word, heading straight for his car.

"Danny, wait." I leave Bennett to fend for himself and scurry after him instead.

He's parked in the parking lot beside the restaurant, but in one of the furthest spaces. I'm following closely, but he's not responding.

"Wait, please. He kissed me, Danny."

His strides are long as he picks up the pace.

"Danny!"

He stops, spins, and glares at me. There are tears in his eyes and some have already spilled out.

"Don't even talk to me. I knew what we had was too good to be true. I don't give a shit who initiated it, it happened. It's done. I'm done."

I lunge at him, gripping the jacket of his suit. "Please."

He sucks on both of his lips, and stares for a few seconds, like he's contemplating hearing me out.

"Get off," he chokes out. "We're over, Fallon."

And I let go. This was my biggest fear, and now it's come true. I only have myself to blame. If my heart hadn't fooled me into loving both boys so immensely, I wouldn't be in this situation.

Watching him makes it worse, but I can't help it. I don't move because I can't. He gets into his car, starts it up, backs away with ease, then makes a right out of the lot, driving by without looking back once. My knees give out, and I fall into a heap on the sidewalk. My heart is aching in a pain I've never experienced before. Losing my sister felt similar, but this pain holds a different meaning entirely.

I'm scooped up into familiar arms. Everett. "I'll take you home, okay?"

I nod but have nothing more to say. I don't even know where Bennett is or if his wedding will happen now. Will he tell her what he did? Or how he feels? I allowed my feelings to get in the way and now I've ruined everything.

When we get to my house, Everett offers to come inside, but I brush him off. He sits with me in his car until I've shed all my tears. I thank him and step out. He doesn't leave until I'm nestled in my bed, like he's waiting to see if I change my mind about needing company. When the sound of his engine disappears, the house grows way too quiet for my liking.

For the rest of the night, I stay in bed with my phone off. Thankfully my parents are working, and they won't bother me. As the night turns into the wee hours of the morning, I'm still finding it hard to sleep, but I don't move, because if I do I know I'll shatter.