Every Sunday as kids we'd go fishing. Bennett's dad would take us. We'd spend all morning at the local pond surrounded by trees, stinky fish, and nature. I loved it, and I think it was there that I fell in love with Bennett for the first time.

Fishing there meant throwing it all back, but it was okay, because we enjoyed each other's company more than actually fishing. We were twelve when I felt that spark between us, the one I swore up and down was what true love felt like.

The guys were getting a ton of bites, me, I was failing. Everett and Danny had walked off to go and eat the egg sandwiches that Bennett's dad packed, and I stayed back. My mind was focused on getting at least one fish.

Bennett stayed behind, he came up and rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Fal, what's the matter?"

"You guys have killed it with how many fish you've gotten, and I can't even get one."

He chuckled and grabbed the pole from me. When he reeled it in there was not a single piece of bate left on my line.

"Well, there's your problem."

My cheeks flushed.

"Maybe you got a nibble and didn't feel it."

"But I've been standing here this whole time just holding it."

Again, he laughed. "It's okay, let's try again."

He reached for the brown tackle box lying at the pond's edge, gathered what he needed, then put a fresh piece of bate on.

"Here, let me help you throw it out there, maybe you're not hitting the right spot."

He stood behind me, a gesture at that point I'd only seen in movies. Together we threw the line out into the pond. He stood with his arms around me. Hiis body pressed into me. When I glanced up at the side of his face, his cheeks were flushed a light shade of pink. His eyes found mine, like he felt me watching. Our lips were so close, and I swore up and down that he leaned in, and I know I felt them, but then something tugged on my line.

"You got one!"

His attention flew to the fish on my line. Even I jumped up excited and grabbed hold as we pulled it in together. The fish flopped everywhere, but he grabbed it. He reached into his back pocket, took out his digital camera and snapped a shot of me and the fish. He took every opportunity to touch me that day. From bumping his hip into mine, to throwing the fish back together. I thought it meant something, but looking back, maybe he was only being nice.

The beach tonight is beautiful. A warm ocean breeze swirls my hair around as we make our way down to the shoreline. Out of any of the guys I spent a lot of my time with Bennett. We had the most inside jokes, the most memories, the secret places, like this spot on the beach. Now, it feels as if we have none of that.

He nudges me as I toe off my shoes and race down to the highest point the water is going. At this time of day there are no lifeguards, and while I'd love to dive in, I don't. I allow my feet to be covered by the cool water and then get buried in the sand.

Bennett stands beside me doing the same.

"Is it the same as you remember?"

"Yes! The last time we were here was two summers ago, and I hit you in the nose with the frisbee."

He chuckles and I can't help it, it's my favorite sound in the world.

"Yeah, ya did. Speaking of." He removes the black backpack from off his shoulder and digs through, until he pulls out the same blue frisbee I smacked him with.

"Think it still has the blood stain. See. Couldn't get it off." He grins, his eyes dancing over mine, and somehow it feels like old times. "You want to play?"

"I can't guarantee I won't mess up your face again."

I find myself smiling, and for a brief moment I almost forget he's getting married and that things between us might not ever be the same again.

"I still have a month until the wedding, I'm good."

He's got this easy-going attitude about his wedding. Maybe he really is happy with Julia, and he and I were never meant to be anything more than friends. I can do this, be friends. We have been for the last fifteen years, what's another lifetime.

Playing frisbee on the beach is relaxing. I'm not athletic and I hate sports, but it makes me happy. I love digging my toes into the sand and allowing the ocean air to fill my lungs.

When the sun starts to lower, and the golden pink color streaks across the sky, we find a dry spot of sand to sit on.

"So, are you coming next weekend to hang out? We're gonna plan my bachelor party."

As he talks, I run my fingers through the sand, allowing it to fall through. The motion is as calming as the sound of the crashing waves along the shore.

"Oh. You want me to be a part of that?"

"Fal, why would you ask such a dumb question."

He bumps into me. I expect him to move, but he doesn't. I hate that his touch sends me into a frenzy. I want to touch him too, but if I do, I don't think I could control my emotions.

"I'm not exactly a guy, and you guys don't want me around especially if you're going to a strip club or something."

"Danny said that's out of the question."

I whip my head in his direction. "He what? Ladies man Danny does not want to go to a strip club?"

Bennett shrugs, grabbing some sand in his own hand. His body is still touching mine, and I have to take several deep breaths to calm myself.

"I dunno. He's being weird lately. Did you notice anything when you were hanging out with him today? I'm not used to seeing you two together."

He's watching me like I have the answers, like he believes there's something between Danny and I. There isn't. At least, I don't think there is. Danny's always been a big flirt, but with me his antics always felt more friendly than flirty.

"He seems okay."

I don't want to tell him about how in the car I swear we almost kissed. I'm not even sure if I would have let him.

"I tried to tell him that Julia's sister is single and coming to the wedding and he shrugged it off. In fact, if he's telling the truth he hasn't played the field in over a year."

"Are you worried?" I ask. "Maybe there's something wrong?"

Bennett shrugs. "No clue. Us guys don't really talk about our feelings."

For a single moment he's quiet, while he stares off at the sky.

 "So, you'll come, right? You're my best friend, Fallon. I want you at my bachelor party."

There it is again. Best friend. He's acting as if there's nothing between us at all. As if he never felt what I do. Not only is there tension between him and I, but the group dynamic feels strained. Things are changing, I feel it in my heart and soul.

"And Julia is okay with all of this?"

"Of course, you're one of the guys, always have been."

There it is, out in the open. I've always been one of the guys, and while that was great for a while, now that I'm older I feel like I've missed out on having a female best friend. Even in college I had a hard time connecting if they weren't male. My roommate was cool, and introduced me to my first girlfriend, but we were never close. Not like I am - or was with the guys.

The darkness is starting to envelop the beach. "We should get going."

I don't argue, in fact I'm more than ready to go home. Being with Bennett put a lot of strain on my heart and I need to go home and process it all before my emotions explode all over this beach.