Season 2, Episode 5:  The Rocky Horror Glee Show

Ownership of Glee:  FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

/ / /

In the choir room, Kurt and Angie are talking to Brittany.

"So, what are you going to be for Halloween this year?" Kurt asks.

Brittany smiles. "I'm going as a peanut allergy."

Angie is about to say something when Will walks in holding scripts. "Great news guys! I've had a little inspiration. This week's musical lesson isn't really a lesson. It's a musical." He announces.

Rachel looks up. "Please be Evita. Please be Evita. Please be Evita." She whispers.

Will smiles. "Rocky Horror!"

Everyone breaks into chatter.

"I've never seen it." Finn states.

Angie smirks. "I love Rocky Horror!"

Rachel looks concerned. "Mr. Schue?"

"Yeah?" Will states.

"While I admire your choice of a groundbreaking 70's musical, aren't you worried that the adult themes might be a point of controversy?" Rachel asks.

Kurt nods. "Seriously, a school in Texas couldn't even do Rent. It caused an outrage and they had to cancel the show."

Angie frowns. "Rent's in my Top 10 Broadway Shows."

"Isn't that the whole point of the arts? Pushing boundaries? Doing things people say you can't do for the sake of self-expression?" He asks. Brittany and Artie nod intensely.

"Look, I figured it all out. I cut out some of the more risqué sections and I'm sending home permission slips to all your parents to make sure they're okay with it." Will continues and hands out the permission slips.

"And we're going to charge admission and use the proceeds to help pay for transportation to nationals in New York!" Will finishes.

New Directions gasps and murmurs their agreement. "Okay, let's talk about casting." Will smiles.

Rachel shoots her hand up. "Oh! Finn and I will play Brad and Janet."

Will points to Rachel and nods his approval. He walks over to the piano to write down their names.

"I actually wanted to be Janet, Mr. Shue." Angie states.

Rachel glares at her. "Angie, he already gave me the part of Janet. But don't worry. You'll make a great Columbia or Magenta." She says with a sickly sweet tone.

Finn looks back at Angie with a sad smile.

Artie speaks up. "And I'll be playing the guy in the wheelchair, right?"

Will smiles. "That's what I was thinking. And, I thought Kurt could play the role of Frankenfurter."

Angie looks offended that their teacher would even think about Kurt playing a transvestite. She's not against transvestism, but Kurt is not Frankenfurter material.

Kurt shakes his head. "No. There is no way I'm playing a transvestite in high heels and fishnets and wearing lipstick!"

Santana smirks. "Why, 'cause that look was last season?"

Kurt turns and looks angrily at Santana.

"Do you ever say anything that's not insulting?" Angie asks.

Santana just shrugs.

Mike pipes up. "I'll do it!"

Tina looks shocked. "Really? It's like the male lead."

Mike smiles. "I know but I'm feeling a little more confident about my singing voice after our duets project."

Will smiles as well. "Great! I have no problem with that! Now, we're a little short on female roles. So, we're going to have to double up on Columbia's and Magenta's."

Rachel looks at the others. "It's standard practice on Broadway. It'll preserve your voices."

"I'd like to preserve you in a jar in my basement." Mercedes bites back.

The club laughs at Rachel.

Will looks at their newest member. "Sam, I'd like you to play the role of the creature."

"From the black lagoon?" Sam asks.

Quinn smiles. "Rocky. He's like the Frankenstein character except blonde. You'll kill the part. He's cute just like you."

Angie smirks at the two. She totally ships Fabrevans!

Santana smirks at Sam. "Better start working on those abs."

Sam smirks back. "Are you kidding me? You could cut glass with these babies. I have no problem showing off my body."

Finn looks worried.

Will claps his hands. "Okay! Looks like we got ourselves a show!"

The club cheers.

/ / /

The next day, the club is rehearsing Rocky Horror in the choir room.

"Alright, places, Finn and Rachel. I'm going to start with 'Damn It, Janet.'" Will says.

Santana chuckles. "Oh,  I cannot wait until Finn takes he top off so we can all see the hot mess underneath."

Finn looks confused. "What are you talking about?"

Brittany adds on. "You can't have sloppy -joe's every day for lunch and think you can get away with it."

Rachel looks offended. "Um, that's incredibly rude!"

"Is it? Guys whisper behind our backs about how we look every day! They objectify us all the time." Quinn says in her Magenta wig.

Tina nods. "She sort of has a point."

"Yeah, earlier today, Artie asked me if he could make a gigantic omelet when I'm done with the ostrich eggs I'm smuggling in my bra." Santana says.

Will frowns at Artie who tries to look innocent.

"I'm super looking forward to seeing Sam in his gold bikini." Brittany states.

Sam chuckles. "It's going to be 'abulous.'"

Angie rolls her eyes. "Sam that was a bad pun."

Finn looks at everyone else. "Can we get on with rehearsal?"

Rachel nods. "Yeah!"

Will also nods. "I agree, yes. Let's stay focused, guys. Alright, Riff Raff, Columbia and Magenta team one, take yours places. Let's rock n' roll." He says.

Quinn is Magenta, Mercedes is Columbia, and Kurt is Riff Raff.

Finn and Rachel perform "Damn It, Janet."

[Damn It, Janet by Finn and Rachel]

/ / /

It's the next day at rehearsals. After Mike's parents read the script, they pulled him out of Rocky Horror. So now, the New Directions don't have a Frankenfurter.

Will looks confused when he sees Carl. "I don't understand."

Carl smiles. "Well, you guys have a hole to fill and I'm just trying to help fill it."

Santana smirks. "Wanky." (MY FAVORITE SANTANA LINE!)

"Santana!" Emma warns.

Will nods. "Well, you know, I can't just give you a role! You have to try out."

Carl nods. "Well, fair enough. But, I'll need a lady to sing to. Ems?"

Emma smiles. "Okay.

Carl looks to the band. "Hot Patootie, B flat."

"Hot Patootie" is sung by Carl. Couples get up and dance together.

[Hot Patootie by Carl]

Sue looks enraged. "Wait, wait! This will not do!"

Carl looks incredulous. "Excuse me?"

"For this musical to continue we need a Frankenfurter, not an Eddie! Eddie was eliminated in my rewrites!" Sue says.

Will sighs. "Sue's right. You want to play in our sandbox? Sing a Frankefurter number."

"Well, I'm sorry, bro. I think it's fine to wear that Franken-bustier in the privacy of your own home – I'm freaky like that. But, don't you think it's a little inappropriate in a high school musical? At least if I play Eddie, I won't have to grind up against the students." Carl states Santana raises her hand to volunteer and Mercedes pushes her hand down.

"You know Eddie's an important role. If I did it, I'd be showing my support for the arts." Carl says.

Will laughs. "Are you telling me how to direct my show?"

Carl shakes his head. "Will, Will!"

Mercedes raises her hand. "Mr. Schue? I'd like to play Frankenfurter. I was re-reading the script yesterday and it said, "Don't dream it, be it." And it's my dream to play a lead role so, I figure, why not me? I mean, I'd be all kinds of crazy sexy in that outfit. And, I can reinterpret the number a little bit, making it more modern. I'd really like the chance Mr. Schue."

Sue smiles. "Well, there you go, Will. You killed two birds with one stone here today. Congratulations! Look, you got yourself a Frankenfurter and an Eddie. This is outstanding!"

Everybody claps. Will and Carl shake hands.

Angie smiles for her friend getting a lead role.

"Queen Mercedes Jones in da house!"

/ / /

Finn steps forward from the auditorium stage the following afternoon during dress rehearsal. "Um, Mr. Schue? I know I'm supposed to be in my underwear for this scene and I'm totally down with that but, um, I thought I'd save it for the opening, if that okay?" He asks. Will gives him the okay.

Sam walks onstage. "Um, also, Ms. Pillsbury? Is there a way I can wear some gold board shorts or something? These are really short and I'm afraid I'm going to show off some nuttage."

Emma stutters. "Well - "

Will interrupts her. "We'll take a note. We can't stop guys! It's a dress rehearsal. C'mon, keep going! And action!"

Rachel speaks as Janet. "Oh, Brad! Let's get out of here. I'm cold and I'm wet and I'm just plain scared!"

Finn puts on a brave face as Brad. "Well, I'm here and there's nothing to worry about."

Rachel screams and feints as Mercedes comes down the elevator as Frankenfurter.

"Sweet Transvestite" is performed by Mercedes.

[Sweet Transvestite by Mercedes]

Will and Emma clap and cheer. Carl drives through the wall on his motorcycle.

Emma smiles dreamily. "Now, that's an entrance!"

Carl looks at Will. "Mr. Director, did I take that wall out right?"

Will sighs. "You're two acts early, Carl! You're supposed to bust through the dinner party scene!"

"Well, I was sort of feeling my entrance in this scene." Carl states.

Emma claps for her boyfriend. "Such good, good interesting impulses."

"Bravo, Carl! Bravo." Will says sarcastically.

/ / /

Will talks to his students on Friday.

"I want to apologize for putting you guys through all of this, particularly, Finn and Sam." Will says.

Finn shrugs. "It's cool, Mr. Schue. I'm sure all the teasing will die down by the time our tenth reunion rolls around."

Sam smiles gently. "And I got asked to be June in the men of McKinley High calendar."

Angie and Quinn raises their eyebrows at the statement.

"I'm happy for you but we still can't do the musical. I was wrong. Rocky Horror isn't about pushing boundaries or making an audience accept a certain rebellious point of view. Those were my reasons for doing it and they aren't worth risking what we have here. When I was younger and they started midnight shows of Rocky Horror it wasn't for envelope-pushers. It was for outcasts. People on the fringes who had no place left to go but were searching for some place, any place where they felt like they belonged. Sound familiar? The truth is, with that perspective Rocky Horror is the perfect show for this club." Will explains.

Santana looks confused. "Well, then why aren't we putting it on?"

"We're still going to perform Rocky Horror we're just not doing it for an audience, we're doing it for ourselves." Will states.

/ / /

"The Time Warp" is performed by New Directions.

[Time Warp by New Directions]

/ / /

1842 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. Damn It, Janet - Finchel
2. Hot Patootie - Carl
3. Sweet Transvestite - Mercedes
4. Time Warp - New Directions

This was so much fun to write!

Next update: Never Been Kissed

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