Season 2, Episode 18:  Born This Way

Ownership of Glee:  FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

/ / /

Will smiles as he walks into the auditorium. "All right, guys. Nationals are just a few weeks away, and it's time to bear down. Okay, your singing at Regionals was amazing, but your dancing...It's booty camp time."

Artie laughs. "Booty!"

Will smiles. "So let's get it going. Five, six, seven, eight. Push yourselves, guys. Vocal Adrenaline takes no prisoners."

Finn smacks Rachel in the nose with his arm. She falls to the ground holding her nose.

Finn looks back. "Oh! I'm so sorry."

Will rushes to Rachel's other side. "Are you okay?"

Rachel's nose is bleeding. "I'm bleeding."

"Let's get you to a doctor." Will says.

/ / /

The next day, everyone is shocked to hear that Rachel is considering a nose job.

"Oh my God, you're getting a nose job." Quinn says.

"I'm...considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum." Rachel states.

"So, a nose job." Santana reiterates.

Rachel sighs. "Look, I'm... I'm happy with the way that I look, okay? And I've embraced my nose. But let's say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. Like Quinn's, for example. I-I would never change my appearance for vanity, but, I mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals."

"Possibly? What about the risks? Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel." Will says.

Santana begins her intervention. "Hold up. Could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn't know because, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves? I mean, I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyways. And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting."

Tina looks at Santana. "That's extraordinarily racist."

Santana shrugs. "I'm keepin' it real."

"Sorry, Santana. I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself, and I would never change a thing." Tina says.

"Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina? Self-hating Asian." Mike mumbles.

"Not many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to be in fashion and mirror what I see in the magazines." Tina retorts.

"My dancing kind of bothers me. Uh, it almost killed Rachel, but I like the way I look." Finn says.

Santana rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. You have weird, puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they're filled with custard. You could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass for some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is that if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it."

Will looks upset. "Whoa, guys. I'm really shocked at what I'm hearing here. It goes against everything the glee club stands for. I'm telling you, the thing you would most like to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you."

Mercedes sighs. "Well, maybe, but at this school, the thing that makes you different is the thing people use to crush your spirit."

Rachel sits down.

Angie looks at Rachel with disappointment. "Rachel... I never thought you of all people would consider getting a nose job."

/ / /

Santana is doing a voiceover while defacing a Sam/Quinn prom poster. "I should be prom queen at this school. If I were prom queen, I could get Brittany to drop the four-eyed loser and go for the real queen. She's so gullible, I could convince her that by royal decree, I'd made her being with me the law of the land. That's never going to happen. I don't have the votes. Unless I could get the jock block."

Sam passes by on his way to the water fountain. "Jack Ryan, you've just boarded the Red October. Sean Connery."

Santana continues her voiceover. "And God knows Sam doesn't have the heat at this school yet." She says as Karofsky passes by. "Hold on, there's someone at this school who just might have the juice...Dave Karofsky." She tells herself. She catches him staring at Sam's butt. "Holy crap. I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch which means one thing. I have awesome gaydar."

/ / /

Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, Blaine, Angie and Santana are sitting at the Lima Bean together.

"You haven't asked us anything about our New York trip." Mercedes says.

Tina frowns. "Is it because it's too painful?"

Kurt sighs. "Yes, as a matter of fact, but while the New Directions are preparing to perform at Nationals, the Warblers are preparing to perform at a nursing home in a strip mall next to a National Bank. But I'm so proud of you guys."

Angie sighs. "We miss you so much. Isn't there any way you could come back to McKinley?" She tells her best friend.

Blaine looks at Angie sympathetically as he holds Kurt's hand. "I told him, I would be all for it if it wasn't for Karofsky."

Santana looks interested now. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"Kurt needs to be safe." Blaine answers.

Kurt sighs. "Okay, can we please change subject?"

Angie nods. "Please? I'm not in the mood to feel like a sad sap."

Santana has an idea in her voiceover. "That's it. Kurt's the trick to winning prom queen and getting Britt, not to mention totally boosting our chances at Nationals. If I could get Kurt back, I'd be a hero. Plus, Angie would think I was even cooler than she thinks I am now. Even Quinn and Sam would vote for me. And the key? Karofsky."

She stands up to leave. She turns to Klaine. "I've gotta gay - Go. Go - I've got to go."

/ / /

Cut to New Directions and Wemma in the choir room. Will writes 'Acceptance' on the board.

Finn looks confused. "Um, why is Ms. Pillsbury here?"

Will smiles. "She's helping us out with this week's assignment. Now, this is the only club at school that is represented by just about every race, religion, sexual orientation and clique, but many of you are still having a hard time with acceptance."

Mercedes looks incredulous. "That's crazy, Mr. Shue. We love each other."

"No, I won't deny that you accept each other, but you don't accept yourselves. This week's assignment has two parts. I want all of you to sing songs about accepting yourself for who you are – The best and the worst parts." Will says.

"What's the second part?" Rachel asks.

Will smiles. "Well, we're going to do a group number by the queen of self-love –Gaga." He says. They cheer. "We're going to perform her anthem to acceptance — 'Born This Way.'"

Mercedes cheers. "Yes!"

Angie smiles. "Go Gaga!"

Finn still looks confused. "Wait, wait, I still don't know why Ms. Pillsbury is here."

Emma smiles. "I'm here to help you with your costumes for the big number. Each of you will be issued a beautifully fitted white T-shirt. We will then use this letter press...to write a word or a phrase that best describes the thing about you that you're the most ashamed of or you'd like to change but you can't because you were born that way, which is super terrific."

Will smiles. "I want you to love those parts of you, you know, embrace them, wear them on your chest with pride."

Mike looks to Will. "Can you give an example?"

Will nods. "Yeah." He says and looks at Emma. "It's the big moment." He says. She opens her sweater and her shirt says GINGER. "Wow, Emma, I thought the whole purpose of you doing this was to write..."

Emma cuts him off. "Being a ginger has plagued me my entire life. People say that I smell like copper, I can get a sunburn indoors at night, and according to recent legend, I have no soul, but I'm here to say that this very curse is what makes me unique. Children, I claim my ginger hood before you today. I was born this way. Hooray. Hooray! Hooray!"

/ / /

Faberry sing "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty" while in the doctor's office, them in their respective bedrooms as well as in the bathroom putting makeup on and then them singing the duet in the choir room in front of the rest of the club and Will.

[I Feel Pretty/Unpretty by Faberry]

They finish but Rachel looks upset and Quinn looks regretful.

Will smiles. "Beautiful job, ladies."

/ / /

Karofsky smirks as he sits with Santana at the Lima Bean. "I knew you'd ask me out eventually. I'm kind of Duke Stud at McKinley."

Santana scoffs. "Give it up. I know."

Karofsky looks confused. "Know what?"

"That you're gay." Santana answers.

Karofsky panics. "What? Who told you that?"

"No one had to tell me. First of all, I saw you checking out Sam's ass the other day. You know, you really need to be more careful with your leering." Santana warns.

Karofsky shakes his head. "I didn't. I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing."

"Like that's any less gay. Second of all, I know about you and Kurt. Remember last week before the benefit? About you being worried about "the truth" getting out. Guess what. It's out." Santana states.

Karofsky glares. "Whatever they told you is a lie to mess with me. I'm going to kick their asses."

Santana is obviously getting somewhere. "Okay, you know what? Why don't you just settle down and let Auntie Tana here tell you a little story. It's about you. You're what we call a "late in life gay." You're going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page, and you know what? I accept that about you."

"Why are you doing this?" He asks.

"Because I need you, and you need me. We play on the same team." Santana reveals.

"You're..." he's cut off.

Santana looks at him. "Look, I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet, either. Maybe in junior college."

"This is garbage. I'm not gay." Karofsky says, shaking his head.

"I'm trying to help you out here. Have you ever heard of the term "beards?" It's when a gay man and woman date each other to hide the fact that they're gay. Like the Roosevelts. So you and I are going to be each other's beards, and then we're going to win prom king and queen and rule the school. Plus... I think that if you were to get Kurt to come back to McKinley, Angie would have, like, a bit of respect for you." Santana says.

Karofsky raises an eyebrow. "And what if I say no?"

Santana smirks. "Then I'm going to tell everyone about you, and your life will be over. The only straight I am is straight-up bitch. You in or not?"

/ / /

Finn and Mike dancing in front of everyone in the choir room. Finn sings "I've Gotta Be Me." The club cheers.

[I've Gotta Be Me by Finn]

Will smiles. "All right, Finn! Perfect! See, guys, someone who's not afraid to point out something they're really bad at."

Finn smiles. "But I'm getting better, right?"

Will doesn't answer. Finn sits down next to Angie and they kiss.

"That was amazing honey. I think you're getting better." Angie tells him. Finn brightens up.

Rachel raises her hand. "Mr. Schuester? May I have the floor, please?"

Will nods. "It's yours."

Rachel stands at the center of the room. "So, as all of you know, I've had a few consultations with a doctor who specializes in rhinoplasty."

Tina nods. "Yes, we know. That's all any of us have been talking about. And we think it's a terrible idea."

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Okay. Blue eyes, you're such a hypocrite."

"I admit, yes, I don't like my eyes sometimes –The shape, the color – But your self-hatred, Rachel, has helped me see the light." Tina says.

Rachel looks down. "I love myself."

"Not enough, clearly. When you get a nose job, when you change your eyes, when you bleach your freckles, you're just announcing to the world, "I don't like myself very much." The drama of this week have made me realize, if I don't have many Asian sex symbols to look up to, I have an obligation to maybe become one myself. My new mantra is 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'" Tina finishes.

Mike looks at her. "I love you so much right now." He says. He and Tina kiss and start to passionately make-out.

Rachel looks a bit disgusted. "Uh... okay, uh..."

Will pulls Mike away from Tina. "Okay, okay, okay."

Rachel continues. "Besides Tina's abrupt personal transformation, the compositions came back from the doctor, showing what my nose would look like slightly altered, and I have to say, I'm really happy with the results. They're less Hebraic, and more Fabrayic." She says and shows the club the pictures and it is clearly Quinn 's nose on Rachel 's face.

Will shakes his head in disappointment. "That doesn't really look like you."

Puck puts in his two cents. "Every year, girls show up to my temple after their 16th birthday, looking suddenly slightly different. And you know what? Even though it's easier to make out with them without getting constantly stabbed in the eye, they're not as hot."

Rachel sighs. "Well, this isn't about being hot. It's about conquering your destiny, and finding something in yourself that you want to change and change it. Plus, they said that it could improve my voice, so...Look, if you guys aren't willing to support my decision, then I'm pretty accustomed to making it on my own."

Finn speaks up. "Rachel, please don't do this. You're beautiful."

Angie nods. "Yeah, Rachel. You're a very beautiful girl. You don't need to change anything about yourself."

Rachel looks shocked that Finn and Angie spoke on her behalf. "This isn't a discussion. I have made up my mind. Rachel Berry is getting a nose job."

/ / /

Karofsky, Figgins, Will and New Directions in the choir room. Karofsky and Figgins are up front.

Figgins is trying to get New Directions to listen to Karofsky. "Okay, listen, I'm all...That's all I'm asking for. Let me finish. Excuse me. Quiet!"

Lauren shakes her head. "No."

Figgins sighs. "Quiet, okay?"

Finn looks angry. "We don't care what he has to say."

Angie is being held back by Finn and Sam just in case she gets the urge to lunge for this clown's jugular.

"Shh. Now, I know David has had some issues in the past, but I have great respect for what he's doing right now, and I ask you to hear him out. Thank you." Figgins says.

Sam sneers. "How 'bout we punch his face in?"

Mercedes nods. "Right."

Will decides to intervene. "Okay, that's enough, guys. Everyone listen up."

Karofsky looks to everyone, but mostly Finn and Angie. "First, I just want to say how sorry I am for what I did to Kurt and for what I've done to a lot of you. I think I've slushied every one of you. I treated Kurt the worst, and I'm really ashamed of who I am and what I did."

Puck doesn't let up from his glare. "Why should we believe you?"

"You don't have to. I know I'll need to earn your trust. All I can say is that Santana has really helped me to see the light. She showed me all these stories online about kids jumping off of bridges and hanging themselves because they were being bullied so bad. I couldn't believe someone could make another person feel that awful, but she helped me accept that I was one of those bad people, and I don't want to be anymore." Karofsky says.

Everyone looks shocked.

Quinn is the first to speak up. "Wait. Santana?"

Santana stands up and joins Karofsky. "This Glee Club is not complete. Not without Kurt. So I've taken it upon myself to try to rehabilitate Dave to see if maybe Kurt would consider coming back and help us win nationals. I did this for us, and then something funny happened. Something...called love." She says.

Karofsky and Santana hold hands.

Brittany looks somber.

Tina looks sick. "I'm going to barf."

Puck gags.

Karofsky continues. "I want Kurt to feel safe to come back, which is why Santana and I have started a new club –The Bully Whips."

"The name was my idea. We're going to be like guardian angels." Santana says.

Figgins starts to talk. "I have deputized David and Santana and the rest of their club to roam the halls, identifying bullying and stopping it in its tracks."

Karofsky finishes. "I'm planning on reaching out to Kurt personally, through Principal Figgins, to try to make amends. This is a chance to really change this place. I hope you can support us."

Angie looks downcast. The guy that made Kurt transfer suddenly wants to be the good guy now.

What was Karofsky playing at?

/ / /

Burt, Kurt, Will, Karofsky, Paul, and Figgins sit in Figgins's office.

"You know, you talk a great game, but all I'm hearing is talk, and talk isn't going to keep Kurt safe." Burt says.

Figgins responds. "But the anti-bullying club that David started will. The fact is, since the club began enforcing the no-bullying rule, we haven't had one incident."

Burt looks angry. "Yeah, and if I took all the water out of the ocean, it wouldn't be wet anymore. The bullying stopped because your top offender stopped."

Paul Karofsky joins the conversation. "Mr. Hummel. Can I call you Burt?"

Burt nods politely. "Of course."

"You remember how understanding I was about this when it all began. I didn't come to David's defense I believed your son. That's because the David I was seeing was not the young man I knew. The boy I raised was a Cub Scout. He was kind, he was a good citizen. I still don't know what was going through his mind when all this bullying started, but I can tell you that the David I'm seeing now is my son, back again. This...this is real." Paul says.

"Do you have any idea how much stress this has caused my family? My son having to leave his friends. My wife and I spending money we don't have on private school 'cause of your son." Burt rants.

Paul continues. "Burt, were you always so accepting of homosexuals? We're the same age. I remember what we used to say about the gays when we were younger. Now, it's taken us a long time to figure out what's right. Why can't you just allow David the couple months that it's taken him to figure it out?"

Burt points at Karofsky. "Because he said he's going to kill my son!"

"I never actually meant that, though. It's just a figure of speech." Karofsky says.

Burt fumes. "How's he supposed to know what?"

Will steps in. "Your words still matter, David."

Karofsky nods. "I know. You have to believe how awful I feel about them. Those ones, especially. That's not me. Not anymore."

Will looks to his former student. "What do you think, Kurt?"

Kurt sighs. "I believe he realizes what he did was wrong."

Burt sighs. "You're only saying that because you want to be back in this school so bad."

"Can Dave and I speak for a moment alone? You can wait right outside in the hall." Kurt says.

Will nods. "Let's go. Yeah."

Paul, Burt, Figgins and Will leave.

Kurt looks to Karofsky. "What's your angle here?"

Karofsky shrugs. "I'm just trying to make things right."

Kurt sighs. "David, I know, remember? And I haven't told anyone."

"Why? It would have made your life a lot easier." Karofsky notes.

Kurt sighs. "I don't believe in denying who you are, but I don't believe in outing, either. But still, you owe me. The truth. What's going on here?"

Karofsky leans in. "It was Santana's idea. She wants to be prom queen, so she figures, if we can get you back, we'll get everyone to vote for us."

Kurt nods. "I'm both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. Hmm. A Latina Eve Harrington. Okay, if you're gonna be gay, you simply must know who that is."

Karofsky looks a little angry. "Look, I don't know for sure I am gay, okay? Stop being such a broken record."

Kurt nods. "Okay, I have several options here. I could tell everyone the truth about you..."

Karofsky looks disbelieving. "Dude, I said I'm sorry. You said you wouldn't do that!"

Kurt holds his hand up. "Hold on. Or I can return here and marvel with pride at your new anti-bullying movement, which I fully believe in, and further demand that you and I start a chapter of PFLAG here at William McKinley. Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. You need to be educated, David. You may not have to come out, but you need to be educated."

Karofsky moans. "Oh, man, just kill me now."

Burt, Finn, Figgins, Will and Paul watch from the outside.

Burt looks to Finn. "Just keep an eye on your brother."

Finn nods. "One step ahead of you."

/ / /

Puck is out in the courtyard with the rest of New Directions.

"What the hell's going on?" Puck asks.

Mercedes smiles. "Well, my fellow Glee Clubbers, it's noon, which means...it's official."

Sam looks confused from his spot next to Quinn. "What's official?"

Kurt reveals himself. "My transfer! Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!"

Angie's cheers are loud.

They all go and hug him.

Tina smiles. "Hi."

Kurt laughs. "Let me breathe! Let me breathe! Let's get ready for Nationals."

Mercedes smiles. "Not yet. See, there's a reason we're meeting here today. There's some people that wanted to say good-bye to you, Kurt."

Blaine and the Warblers arrive. "Kurt, Dalton's gonna miss you. You were a great addition to the Warblers, and you made us a better team. I'm sad to see you go, but we all know this is something that you really want." Blaine says.

Blaine performs 'Somewhere Only We Know.'

[Somewhere Only We Know by Blaine]

Kurt says goodbye to the Warblers, and is then hugged by New Directions.

Santana smiles. "Hi."

"Hey." Mercedes states.

Santana smiles and wipes at Kurt's eyes. "No crying, no crying."

"We love you." Tina says.

Kurt smiles. "I love you guys too."

Angie smiles. "I missed you so much."

Kurt laughs as he kisses her head in a brotherly fashion.

"I missed you too."

/ / /

Kurt sings "As If We Never Said Goodbye" while walking around McKinley and the choir room.

[As If We Never Said Goodbye by Kurt]

Angie smiles as she hugs Kurt a second time that day.

Kurt smiles as he hugs his 'sister.' "No tears. You'll make me cry."

Angie laughs tearfully. "I can't help it. I have my best friend back. This is the best day ever."

/ / /

The next afternoon at glee club, Angie prepares her song. She's singing 'Girl in the Mirror' by Britney Spears. It fits her biggest insecurity well.

[Girl in the Mirror by Angie]

Angie is teary by the end, and everyone claps for her emotional performance. Even Will is trying to hold back his tears.

"Angie that was incredible. Why'd you pick that song?" Will asks.

Angie sighs. "The biggest insecurity I have is my height. I'm not as tall as Santana or Brittany or Quinn, and I've always found that people call me 'Short Stack' when they think I'm not listening. I've always found that me and all my 5 foot glory was something that was absolutely horrible. But I'm finally accepting that that's who I am." She says.

Finn gets up and he hugs his girlfriend. Artie follows, and so does Kurt. Soon, all of the New Directions are hugging Angie.

Accepting a part of yourself is hard to do. But it's okay.

You're not alone.

/ / /

Will smiles as he sees everyone wearing their shirts. "All right, guys. Listen up. You all did really good this week. It was tough, but I think we came closer as a team and I'm proud of you. And now, I'd like to be the first one to show off my custom T-shirt, revealing something I was self-conscious about in the past, something I was born with, something I've come to accept about myself this past week. So, drumroll, Finn." He says and reveals his shirt with the words "BUTT CHIN" on it.

Mercedes smiles. "I like your chin, Mr. Shue."

Tina nods. "Yeah, I would've went with 'Tears up a lot.'"

Will looks around the auditorium. "Uh, is everyone here?"

Rachel walks in. "Not everybody. I wanted to thank you guys for my Barbravention. And I have an announcement to make. I went to my doctor and...I canceled my appointment. And then I went home and I made this." She says and unveils her shirt saying "NOSE" on it.

"Whoa." Will says.

They all clap.

Rachel smiles. "So, unfortunately I can't join in on today's dance number. My doctor said I have to stay away from vigorous choreography while my nose heals. So thanks for being patient. And, Finn, next time, watch out for the schnoz."

Artie sees someone else is missing. "Where's Santana?"

Brittany looks very tense. "Probably off somewhere making out with Karofsky." She answers.

Will says nothing for a minute. "Hit it!"

New Directions sings "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga with leads from Kurt , Mercedes and Tina.

[Born This Way by New Directions]

They all reveal their shirts throughout the performance. Rachel joins in later. Emma shows Will her "OCD" shirt and they both join in as well.

Karofsky and Santana are sitting in the back of the auditorium. Santana is wearing the "LEBANESE" shirt and she looks down at it.

/ / /

Glee Club's shirts:
* Finn: Can't Dance
* Mike: Can't Sing
* Artie: Four Eyes
* Rachel: Nose
* Mercedes: No Weave
* Tina: Brown Eyes
* Kurt: Likes Boys
* Angie:  Short Stack
* Quinn: Lucy Caboosey
* Lauren: Bad Attitude
* Sam: Trouty Mouth
* Puck: I'm With Stupid ⬇️
* Brittany: I'm With Stoopid ⬆️
* Santana: Lebanese
* Will: Butt Chin
* Emma: OCD

/ / /

4540 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. I Feel Pretty/Unpretty - Faberry
2. I've Gotta Be Me - Finn
3. Somewhere Only We Know - Blaine
4. As If We Never Said Goodbye - Kurt
5. Girl in the Mirror - Angie
6. Born This Way - New Directions

This is my favorite season 2 episode of all time!

Next update: Rumors

2 episodes to Prom Queen
3 episodes to Funeral
4 episodes to New York