I'll show you gay!

Chapter Three

Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. - Eckhart Tolle

I walked into the cafe and headed straight for the table in the back. I tapped my fingers against the dark brown wood.

This was my table... When I could muster up the courage to sit here. Truthfully that didn't happen all too often.

I sat at the end with my back towards the wall and my light, blue eyes closed.

I felt the vibrations of someone slamming their hand on the table.

"What?" I didn't bother opening my eyes

I felt another all too familiar smack to the face.

"what the hell was that for!"

Sage.

"I thought you weren't going to smack me anymore" I whined rubbing my cheek.

She shrugged and slid a piece of paper to me.

'You're grumpy today'

"Being smacked constantly doesn't help " I responded with a shrug

'Thanks for earlier'

That was random...

"It was nothing, really"

Sage shook her head and began to write something else

'Not many people would do that'

"As I said, no big deal"

I leaned back in my chair just getting lost in my thoughts.

Sage waved her hand to get my attention.

'You look familiar' Sage had really bubbly handwriting.

"People say I have that kind of face"

'No, I swear I've seen you before' She switched over signing

"Why do you switch back and forth?" I asked completely ignoring her statement.

'No one really knows ASL around here the only people I sign with are my cousin and my parents'

"My family learned sign for my little sister when she became deaf"

Sage nodded, a soft smile on her lips.

She kept looking at me.

"What" I groaned

she bit her lip and cocked her head to the side.

'It's just you look like a kid who used to go here'

"Did you forget it's my first day?" 

I tried to laugh it off but she kept staring at me. 

I could almost see the words forming in her eyes.

"Look Sage, I don't know who you think I am but, it's not me!" 

I sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than anyone.

I got up from the lunch table and walked out of the cafeteria.

I walked down the hall looking for locker number 1450.

I leaned my forehead against the cool metal taking slow, deep breaths.

"What are you doing?"

That voice.

His voice.

It sent shivers down my spine. 

All of a sudden it was three years ago. Emotions began to bubble up inside me. I could hear my pulse in my ears.

"Dude, are you okay?" the voice asked with what almost sounded like concern.

Memories flashed through my brain. Memories I've tried so desperately to forget. I could feel myself start to spiral.

I spun around to face him

"Do I look like I'm okay!" I yelled

I felt nothing but pure rage.

"It was just a question" he raised his hands and took a small step back "You don't have to bite my head off"

I towered over him now, he had to look up to meet my gaze. I scanned his body with my eyes, taking in every little detail. Axel hadn't changed much from what I could tell. Same green eyes, same red hair, same everything.

I searched his eyes looking for even a flicker of recognition. 

There was none.

A dark laugh escaped my mouth.

How could he remember me? I'm taller than I was, my hair is colored black, and my voice is deeper. I had grown out of my baby fat phase. 

Better yet, why would he remember me? I was always nothing to him. Just a frail kid he liked to toy with.

I turned and began to walk away from him.

Walked.

I liked how that felt, no longer running.

"Where are you going?" Axel called out

"Wouldn't you like to know"

"Do I... Do I know you?" he raised an eyebrow at me

So maybe he did remember.

"No, no you don't know me" Which holds as much truth as it does lies. He doesn't know me anymore. I'm not the same person I was. Not just the way I look but who I've shaped myself out to be. "You'll never know me, Axel"

That hurt me a lot more than it should but, I pushed that thought into the back of my mind. It shouldn't matter, it doesn't matter.

"How do you know my name?" he mumbled shoving his hands into the pockets of his faded blue jeans.

I turned on my heel and walked away from him. His footsteps echoed behind mine

I felt Axel's hand grip my shoulder.

I  quickly pushed it off of me and grabbed his shirt in return.

He tried to fight out of my grip but, I was stronger than him now.

"What the fuck?" he growled "Let go of me?"

"What's the magic word?" I teased

I felt his hands wrap around my fist

"I just wanted to know your name!" his fingers still prying at my grip

"My name...Why?" I cocked my head to the side.

"I don't know, you just... you just seem familiar is all"

I dropped my grip on his shirt and walked toward my last class.

"It's Ryder"

I heard him say one thing...one single word that sent me over the edge.

I slammed his body against the locker.

Locker 1450.

"What did you just say?"

"Freak" He repeated it with such smugness.

I saw the smirk on his face and I felt my sanity leave. I was no longer in a stable state of mind.

My hand wrapped around his throat and squeezed. I could feel the blood pumping through his veins.

I squeezed tighter.

The noise he made as he gasped for air was so beautiful.

The power I had over him now was intoxicating.

"Please..." Axel choked out

"Good boy"

I smirked watching him rub his hand around his neck.

That simple, one-syllable word brought me immense pleasure.

I let him go and watched as he slid onto the ground trying to catch his breath.

I could finally make him beg, just like I did.