I'll  show you gay!

Chapter Five

September 7, 2012

"He took the devil's mat, but he'll pay back with his skin." ~ Russian Proverb

***

"Hey, Kris!"

I stopped in my tracks.

"I heard something about you"

The tone in his voice made my heart start to beat faster.

"Don't you want to know what I heard Kriss?"

My hands were shaking as I turned to face Axel.

His eyes were twinkling with mischief.

"What you're not even a little curious?"

"Uh...I-I"

Axel let out a low chuckle and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"What's the matter Krissy?" he asked with fake sympathy

"N-nothing..." I couldn't help but stutter over my words

"Let's take a walk" He began to guide me down the hall.

It felt like the walls closing in on us with each step we took.

"I have class" my voice was barely a whisper

"I know, I know but, wouldn't you rather spend time with me?" Axel fake pouted

"I really can't, I should go" I tried to remove his arm from my shoulders but, he only held on tighter.

"I think you should stay"

A small, sinister smirk appeared on his face, as he led me toward the bathroom.

He pushed open the light wood door and led me in. I watched it swing close praying it would swing open again. I hoped someone would just walk right in and save me from this situation.

"Why are we-"

"In the bathroom? Well, it's a surprise silly!" the excitement in his voice made my stomach turn.

"Axel, I really need to-"

"Go to class, I don't really care" he cut me off again.

"Stop doing that!" I yelled more from fear than frustration.

Axel's grip on my shoulder grew stronger.

I could feel his hot breath on my ear causing goosebumps on my arms.

"I heard you like to suck dick" he whispered softly in my ear

I couldn't get my mind to focus long enough to come up with a response. I couldn't find the right words to defend myself.

"Cat got your tongue?" he laughed.

"That's not, that's not true" the fear was growing inside of my body and I started to tremble.

"Oh c'mon Krissy you don't have to lie to me"

"Please don't"

I struggled out of his grip.

Axel had a sickly, sweet grin on his lips as he watched me.

My eyes started to well up with tears.

He crossed his arms and leaned on the door blocking my only route of escape.

***

I woke up covered in sweat with tears in my eyes.

No, he's not going to do this to me! I'm bigger than him now, he can't hurt me anymore.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and cried.

I cried from the pain, from all the days of therapy that haven't worked, and for how weak I was.

I thought I was stronger but, if just one memory can do that to me... He still has all the power!

***

I leaned up against my car inhaling the hot smoke into my lungs slowly.

Patiently waiting.

I watched as he conversed with his friends and flirted with the girls.

Pulling the cigarette from my mouth, I exhaled watching the smoke swirl up into the sky

"I'll see you at practice"

"Mhmm, later dude"

I watched as the last jock disappeared through the school doors leaving Axel all alone.

It was now or never...

Axel had his back turned to me.

"Turn around" I ordered

"Wha-" he didn't even get to finish before I punched him.

Hard.

He fell onto the cold cement as the blood began to rush from his nose.

With a shaky hand, he tenderly touched his bruising nose.

"What the hell was that for!?" Axel yelled in pain

I kneeled down so we were at eye level and gently slapped his pink-tinted cheek.

"You should really go put ice on that"

"fuck you" he said through gritted teeth

I grabbed his chin and admired my work.

"That looks like it hurts" I smirked and walked toward the front entrance of the high school

***

I leaned against the wall waiting for the bell to ring.

"He broke his nose!"

"No way!"

"Yeah! Have you seen Axel today?"

"No, why?"

"His nose, it looks crooked!"

Their conversation brought a small smile to my face

"Ryder?"

"Yes?"

"Is it true?" the redhead asked biting her little, pink lip.

"Is what true?"

She fluttered her eyes and met my gaze.

"Did you do it?"

I cocked my head to the side and ran my eyes up her body.

She was cute, I guess...

"Did you, you know, break it?" I could see the curiosity in her eyes with a touch of lust.

"I don't know what you're talking about" a fake smile flashed across my face.

"Bu-"

The bell cut her off.

"I have to go, it was nice talking to you" I said smiling placing my right hand on the small of her back.

I didn't give the girl a chance to respond, I had things to do.

"Hey Axel" I slid my arm around his shoulder

His body seemed to fit perfect next to mine.

"What do you want?"

"What happened to your face, you don't look so good buddy" I faked sympathy.

Axel pulled away from my grip.

"Get away from me!"

"What's wrong Axel?"

"Get the hell away from me!"

I watched as he stormed down the empty hallway.

I couldn't resist I followed him.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Dude just go away!" He rolled his green eyes.

"What's the magic word" I said laughing

"...please"

"what was that sunshine?"

He began to grind his teeth together

"I'm not going to repeat myself so leave" He growled.

"Then I'm not leaving" I whispered in his ear.

"What the hell man!?"

Axel pushed me away

"What are you some kind of fag?"

I felt my face scrunch up in disgust as I pulled away from him.

"What did you say?" I glared daring Axel to repeat himself.

A part of me wished he would just so I could hit him again.

He met my eyes and smirked.

"I called you a fag"

Instead of hitting him, I just laughed.

A humorless laugh.

"You have balls kid"

"...thanks?" He looked unsure of himself.

"It wasn't a compliment..."

I felt him stiffen.

"let's go for a walk..."

"I h-"

"Have class, I know"

"I can't go with you" He whispered.

"Of course you can" I smiled showing my teeth.

It felt all too familiar as I guided him down the stretch of hallway towards the bathroom.

Would it be fucked up to call it our bathroom? I mean we did have history here.

"Where are we going?"

"Someplace special"

"Special?" there was a slight shake in his voice.

"Yeah, special" a sinister smile grew on my face.

I pushed Axel into the abandoned bathroom.

"What are we doing in here"

"You haven't changed Axel" I commented resting on the porcelain sink.

"You don't even know me! Quit acting like you do!"

"And here I thought we were friends" I fake pouted.

"I have never met you in my life!"

Last night's dream flashed through my mind as I stared at the bathroom door.

"I heard something interesting about you Axel"

I watched as he took a deep breath of air.

"What?" His eyes were looking everywhere but at me. I could see him searching for some kind of escape.

There was none.

"I heard something about you, don't you want to know what it is?"

He didn't respond this time.

"Answer me, Axel!" I growled

"No" His voice was soft but, firm.

"Oh c'mon, it's a really good one"

"I should get to class" He mumbled looking toward the door

"I heard that you caused someone to commit sui-"

"Stop" He cut me off.

"What? You don't want me to say it?"

"Shut-up! Shut-up! Shut-up!"

"So it is true"

"No...No, no it's not true! He didn't die" His bottom lip began to tremble.

"I know, but still..." my voice trailed off "What was his name? Kriss?"

"Yeah Kriss Dawson..." His voice was thick with emotion. There was a slight sadness in his eyes.

"I heard you were pretty mean to him" My throat was getting tight as I spoke. " I heard it was all your fault"

"Yeah... maybe it was"

Axel was sitting on the floor with his hands around his knees.

"Why?" I questioned.

He finally looked up to meet my gaze.

At that moment he looked so small, so scared.

"I didn't mean it" All that came out was a whisper.

"So what happened in this bathroom, Axel?" I asked through gritted teeth

"I don't... I didn't... Nothing" He wiped a small tear from his eye.

Nothing.

"I don't believe you"

I walked out of the bathroom leaving him alone on the cold tile floor.