"The first kiss can be as terrifying as the last." - Daina Chaviano

Ryan nervously played with the sleeves of his sweater. He looked so uncomfortable in the passenger seat of my car.

"Ryan are you okay?"

I watched as his eyes quickly moved to stare out the passenger side window.

"Ryan?" I called out again.

"Oh, uh yeah?" his voice shook

"Are you okay?"

"I'm f-fine" he stuttered

"Ryan don't lie to me."

"I'm not"

I looked at the small boy beside me.

Ryan crossed his arms over his chest.

He was so cute.

A slight blush covered his cheeks and his brown eyes shined in the late afternoon sunlight.

"Ryan?"

"What?" he sounded slightly annoyed.

I gently rubbed his soft warm cheek.

"what are you doing?" he squeaked as he jerked his face away from my touch.

I didn't answer.

He looked up at me through his dark eyelashes

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked softly

Ryan blushed a dark red.

"No" his bottom lip quivered

"Good"

I pulled my car into his driveway.

I walked him up to the front door and we stood in an awkward silence

"Th-thanks for the ride home"

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning be ready by six-thirty."

I walked away before he could respond

"Wait!"

I heard him run after me and then felt his small hand on my arm

"You're...leaving?"

Ryan looked up at me with his innocent brown eyes.

"Yeah."

"Oh... I just thought- never mind..."

"You just thought what?"

"Nothing" he continued to play with the hem of his sweatshirt.

I brought my hand up to his freckled cheek.

"C'mon don't hold out on me, Ryan."

"It's just... I thought you wanted to hang out with me."

I chuckled softly.

"Ryan I would love to hang out with you -"

"You do!" He cut me off.

"But-"

"There's always a but"

I wish he would stop interrupting me.

"I have to go watch my little sister"

"Now I feel dumb"

"Don't" I laughed "I never told you."

"How old is she?"

"Five"

"What's her name?"

"Charlie"

"That's a really cute name" Ryan giggled "Ryder?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't take this the wrong way because I don't want to offend you. It just I was wondering if you were ya know-"

"If I'm what?"

"You know..."

"I don't know"

He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Gay" he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear it

"Am I gay?" I repeated his question back with a small smile on my lips.

"Never mind! It was a stupid thought anyway" he mumbled turning red again.

I placed two fingers under his chin and gently lifted his face.

"You're not stupid" I whispered.

I leaned down so I could see his eyes. He nervously licked his lips. I watched his eyes flicker toward my lips.

I couldn't help it, I wanted to kiss him.

I gently pressed my lips against his.

"Does that answer your question?"