"How early should we put up Christmas lights this year?" I asked Jay.

     "Isn't the general rule to have them up right after Thanksgiving?"

     I looked at Jay, playfully confused. "Why do you answer my question with a question?"

     It was close to the end of the month and we were licking stamps and mailing bills to have them arrive before the first. Jay and I didn't believe in having separate bank accounts.

     Just as I was about to finish writing my name on the check for the water bill, we both heard the front door open.

     Protagonist walked in with a backpack hanging from one shoulder. He looked distraught, like he just received bad news.

     "Hey," I said, "How was Wattpad?"

     He didn't even look up at us. It was just twenty-one angry steps to his room. "I don't wanna talk about it."

     With that, he shut the door.

     Jay sighed. "Do you want to talk to him or should I?"

     "We should both do it. I have a feeling this is a two-person job."

     He nodded and together we walked up to Protagonist's shut bedroom door. Jay tapped on the door with his knuckles.

     "Go away," said Protagonist.

     "Buddy, it's me and Elle. May we come in?"

     "Not uh."

     I knew a little guilt would part the door open. "We just want to talk," I told him. "We're worried about you."

     I heard Protagonist groan. "Fine. Come in."

     Jay opened the door and we stepped inside. The place was spick-span. Protagonist was neat and tidy, just like I wrote him. He layed across the bed on his stomach with his head resting on this folded arms. He wasn't crying, but he was just about ready.

     "Did something happen in Wattpad today?" I asked.

     He lifted his head up and looked at me. "I want to go to a different website."

     Jay and I look at each other, silently telling ourselves, yup something happened.

     "But you loved Wattpad when you first got there," I said. "What happened?"

     "I don't wanna go to Wattpad anymore. I want to move back home, to your imagination."

     As flattered as I was that he loved being in my head so much, I had to get back to the issue at hand. "Now, now. Let's talk this through. Why don't you wanna go back to Wattpad?"

     Protagonist shrugged. "Because no body likes me and I don't fit in."

     Jay sat on the bed next to him. "Well, buddy, you've only been there a few months. Give it a chance."

     "But everyone there wears better book covers than me, they have more fans than me. And they're mostly girls."

     "There might be plenty of female protagonists, I'm sure there are plenty of male protagonists you can hang out with."

     Protagonist scuffed. "They're all nerds. They just hang around the Science Fiction or the Action genre."

     Jay laughed.

     I gave him a stern look.

     "What?" he said. "It's true."

     Protagonist pouted. "There are so many pretty readers, but they just... they look right through me. It's like I'm not even there. Readers suck."

     Jay nudged his head at me. "Your writer was a reader."

     "That's different. The readers on Wattpad want nothing to do with me. They just want to read about the jocks and the super rich male characters."

     He sat up on the bed. "I mean, what's wrong with me? Why aren't readers interested in me?"

     "Protagonist, you're a well-developed, complex, multi-dimentional character. Any reader would be lucky to read about you."

     "But I keep getting Reading-List-zoned."

     Jay and I looked at each other.

     Protagonist sighed. "It's when a reader likes you enough to add you to a library, but not enough to read about you."

     I nodded. "I see. Well, those readers don't know what they're missing."

     I pinched his cheek. "And no matter what, you'll always be mine."

     Protagonist squirmed away, clearly bothered by my affection. "Stop treating me like a little comic relief character."

     I giggled. "Okay, I'm sorry. You're a major character."

     Jay ruffled Protagonist's hair. "Keep your head up, kid. It gets better."