I laid on my stomach on my bed, coloring in my coloring book and my legs up behind me and swinging. My phone rang and I smiled when I saw it was Dallon.

"Hi, Dallon!" I chirped.

"Hey, baby," he said. "Wanna come over? No one's home."

"Yeah!" I agreed excitedly.

"Alright, I'll see you soon," he said then hung up.

I got up and giggled, making sure my outfit was nice. I went downstairs and grabbed the car keys. Mikey was up in his room with a friend and my mom was at work, Gerard was watching tv. At least, I thought he was until I heard footsteps behind me and jumped in fright.

"You scared me!" I exclaimed.

"Where are you going?" Gerard asked.

"Dallon's house," I said. "No one's home so he invited me over."

"You know what that means, right?" Gerard asked and I looked at him in confusion. "It means he wants sex."

"Not necessarily, maybe he just wants to watch cartoons," I said.

"No, Frank, he doesn't," Gerard denied.

I whimpered and looked down from his harsh tone.

"B-but--"

"No," Gerard denied, snatching the keys from my eyes.

I felt my lip quivering but I didn't want to be sad, I wanted to be mad. Gerard was mad and I wanted to be mad too.

"Why do you care?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Because he's a fucking asshole who almost fucking raped you last week!" Gerard shouted.

"But he just loves me!" I yelled.

"No he doesn't!" He yelled. "He doesn't fucking love you and you don't love him!"

"Yes I do, you stupid head!" I shouted.

"You're not seeing him ever again," Gerard denied.

I grabbed for the keys but he held them above my head. My lip quivered as I shoved him. Gerard raised his eyebrows, dropping the keys and pushing me against the wall. His lips collided with mine in a hot, rough, messy kiss that I gladly accepted. It felt like sparks shooting all through my body.

I gasped, tangling my hands in his hair as his body pressed against mine. It's like I've been craving his kiss and I just couldn't get enough.

Gerard picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me upstairs to the bedroom and set me on his bed. Our lips barely disconnected in the process, still making out heavily as he laid on top of me.

But then all of a sudden he pulled away and left the room, shutting the door behind him. I could hear him in the hallway pacing and cursing. I whimpered, pulling the blanket over my head as I curled into a ball.

My lips felt a little swollen and my hair was messed up from his hands. But I could still feel my heart beating fast and what almost was like electricity within me, something I never felt with Dallon and I wanted more. But I don't Gerard did, I don't think he liked it.

The door opened and I felt Gerard sit beside me. He pulled the blanket from me and laid down. His arms wrapped around me and I buried my face into the crook of his neck as I sniffled.

"Don't cry, Little Button," Gerard whispered.

I hugged him tight and he rubbed my back.

"D-did you not like it?" I asked.

"Of course I did, baby boy, I've been wanting to kiss you for so long," Gerard said. "It's just...I don't know."

"Y-you like me?" I asked.

"Button, I'm so in love with you I don't even know how to breathe," he said.

"Since when?" I asked.

"Two years," Gerard mumbled. "Well, I've felt this way for two years but I didn't realize I was in love with you until a few months ago."

I sniffled and looked down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Because you're like my brother and I didn't want you to hate me," Gerard said.

"I'd never hate you," I said quietly. "Never ever, I love you."

"That's the problem," Gerard sighed. "You don't love me like I love you."

"M-maybe I do," I said. "I know my love for you is different than how I love mom and Mikey. It's just...more."

Gerard didn't say anything, just laid on his back and looked up at the ceiling as I rested my head on his chest. His arm wrapped around my shoulders and I smiled.

"Button, what do you want?" Gerard asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"What do you want to happen now?" He asked.

I looked down as I furrowed my eyebrows. "I don't know."

Gerard didn't say anything but I glanced up at the small frown that was on his lips.

"Okay, I guess I'll just pretend this kiss never happened then," Gerard said.

He got up and I whimpered at the loss of his warm touch. He left the room as I curled into a ball. I knew what he wanted, he wanted me to decide because he didn't want to pressure me. But I couldn't decide. I didn't know whether to date him or not.

Dallon called me eventually, probably to ask where I was but I sent his call straight to voicemail. All I knew was that Gerard's kissed made me feel something I've never felt before and I wanted more.

"Turtle?" I asked, looking over to where he was sitting on my bed. "What should I do?"

I buried my face into the pillow, noticing how it smelled kind of like Gerard. I grabbed Turtle and went downstairs, standing in the doorway of the kitchen to see Gerard making coffee.

"Hey, Button, you want some apple juice?" He asked.

He started pouring some into my sippy cup anyways. I took it from him gently as he grabbed his coffee and sat on the couch, turning on the tv. I stayed in the doorway and he chuckled.

"Well, you don't need to stand all the way over there," he said.

I took small steps forward, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch as I watched him. And it was like that all day. I followed him around like a lost little puppy all day long.

When he went to the bathroom, I sat outside the door. When he went to draw, I sat on the bed and watched. When he went to the kitchen to grab food or coffee I stood in the doorway. When he went out to smoke I sat on the porch swing and watched. I never said anything, just followed him around quietly like a little shadow.

It reminded me of when we were little. When I first moved here, I would always do that. I was so fascinated by him. I would wear his t-shirts that used to be dresses on me because I was so small when I was three. I just clutched Turtle to my chest and followed him wherever he went.

His first day of kindergarten was basically hell for both me and my mom. When I found out I couldn't go with him I near about screamed my head off. He would leave for hours at a time and it made me so sad. I would curl up in his bed and scream and cry until he would come home and give me hugs and run his small fingers through my hair and give me kissies to calm me down.

"Dinner's ready!" My mom called.

She had gotten home from work about two hours ago. She didn't even seem to notice how I was just lurking behind Gerard, it was normal for her.

We sat down and I didn't say anything as we ate, just kept glancing over at Gerard every now and then as I blushed.

"I think report cards come out soon," my mom said.

Mikey groaned and looked down at his plate. I looked at Gerard again, watching him eating quietly.

"And as for that trip to California," she said, "I got the days off of work."

I looked and Gerard as he smiled.

"Frankie, I thought you'd be more excited about that," she said.

"I-I am," I said, still completely distracted by Gerard.

"Anyways, we can go in three weeks," she said. "And I've got two weeks off."

"So we'll be able to spend a good week there," Gerard said. "I can't even remember the last time we went, i was so young."

"Why do we have to drive?" Mikey complained.

"Because you know Gerard doesn't like flying," mom said.

"Can we take the van then?" He asked. "It's bigger than the other car."

"Yeah, I was planning on that," my mom said.

We finished up eating and I quietly followed Gerard upstairs to our bedroom. He stripped down to just his boxers while I put on one of his big shirts and a pair of pink panties. We both got into our own beds and he turned off the light.

"Goodnight, Button," he said.

I watched Gerard turn his back to me. I went over and crawled into his bed behind him. I pressed close against him, sighing happily at the comfort. Gerard turned to face me and I whimpered as I looked up at him.

"I don't like making big boy decisions," I whispered.

He reached down to hold my hand and smiled.

"I know you don't, Button," he said quietly, "But sometimes you just have to. Whatever you choose I don't care as long as you're happy."

I looked up into his pretty hazel eyes. I slowly leaned in, pressing my lips against his softly. Gerard wrapped his arms around me and smiled. His lips were so nice and soft as we made out slowly.

I liked it better than kissed with Dallon. Dallon always seemed like he wanted more. But Gerard just seemed so happy to be with me at all, like he could do this for hours.

And it felt like hours before Gerard pulled away slowly. He smiled happily, kissing my cheek and I giggled happily. My heart was racing so fast, I felt so happy.

"I love you, Button," he whispered.

"I love you too, Gerard," I said.

Gerard smiled, leaning down to give me another soft kiss.