I feel like it's weird but I always read my own stories more than I actually read other people's stories just because I genuinely enjoy my own stuff

~~

Gerard had invited Lindsey over and I was all alone then, even if Gerard had said I could hang out with them. Since neither Mikey nor my mom was home to play with, I had invited Dallon. Gerard got mad at me for that but I ignored him.

We were currently sitting on the couch and Gerard and Lindsey was on the adjacent couch. She was showing him pictures she had taken in New York. His arm was around her shoulders as he kissed her cheek. I scowled at that, it made me mad. His kissies were for me only.

I leaned up and gave Dallon a big chaste kiss. I turned to glare at Gerard, who just looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I didn't wanna confuse him, I wanted to make him mad too. I stuck my tongue out at him and turned away.

"Do you need a nap, Button?" Gerard asked.

And then all eyes were on me and that made me even more upset. I tried my hardest not to but I could feel my lips quivering as I burst into tears.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Dallon asked.

"Gerard's being mean!" I cried.

"Wh--I'm not doing anything," Gerard denied.

"Yeah you are, you're being a meanie," I said.

I stood up and wiped away my tears angrily. I held Dallon's hand and pulled him upstairs, slamming my bedroom door shut.

"What'd he do?" Dallon asked.

"He's paying attention to Lindsey," I pouted.

"He's not allowed to pay attention to his girlfriend?" He asked in confusion.

"She's not his girlfriend!" I shouted, crossing my arms.

Nuh-uh, I don't ever want her to be his girlfriend.

"Okay, well why isn't he allowed to pay attention to her?" Dallon asked.

He sat down on my bed and gently pulled me to sit in his lap.

"Because then he's not paying attention to me," I stated.

"And you want his attention?" Dallon asked.

I nodded and he chuckled softly.

"Sweetheart, he's given you all his attention since you were three, I'm sure he can spend a little bit of time with his friend," Dallon said.

"Nuh-uh, not friends he gives kissies to," I denied.

Those kissies are supposed to be for me, not her.

"So he's not allowed to date anyone?" Dallon asked.

I nodded and he smiled.

"Is it just because he's your big brother?" Dallon asked. "You know, first he starts dating then he moves away then has kids and he doesn't see you as often?"

I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't really like that, more like I wanted him to give me kissies and not anybody else.

"Baby, everyone's gonna move on at some point," Dallon said. "You two won't be sharing this room when you're thirty."

I want us to share a different room in a house that we're gonna buy together and it'll be so much fun.

But right now it doesn't seem like he wants to do it. He just wants to spend time with Lindsey and not me and that makes me so upset. I wanna upset him too.

I leaned up, pressing my lips against Dallon's roughly. He responded quickly, pressing me against the mattress. He held my hips, slowly rocking his down against mine. Suddenly, things were getting a lot more heated than I had expected.

He pulled my dress up over my head and tossed it aside. Dallon's shirt followed quickly and I whimpered quietly. And then he reached into his pocket, pulling out a condom. He kissed and sucked on my neck as I whimpered.

Gerard doesn't think he's really the one and I love and trust Gerard more than anything, I don't wanna give my first time up to Dallon.

"C-can we go watch cartoons?" I asked.

Dallon didn't say anything as he just rolled his hips down against mine. His fingers tucked into the elastic of my panties, trying to pulled them off as I shook my head. I grabbed them to keep them in place and he groaned in annoyance.

"S-stop," I whined. "I-I don't wanna, Dallon, stop."

He pulled my panties down around my knees and I cried. Dallon was suddenly pulled off of me. Gerard threw him on the ground, giving him a harsh kick to the side.

"Don't you ever lay a fucking finger on him again!" Gerard yelled. "Get out!"

Dallon grabbed his shirt, huffing as he stormed out. Gerard came over and helped me get my panties back into place. He cradled me in his arms as I cried.

"Don't worry, Button, I've got you," he whispered.

I sniffled, wrapping my arms around him.

"I-I was just trying to make you mad but I just wanted to kiss I didn't wanna have sex," I muttered.

"Why would you wanna make me mad?" He asked.

"Because you were paying attention and giving kissies to Lindsey but not me!" I exclaimed.

"Button, were you jealous?" Gerard asked.

"No," I denied.

The door open and lindsey stood there and I immediately glared.

"You okay, Frankie? What happened?" She asked sympathetically.

She came over and rubbed my back softly as I buried my face into Gerard's chest.

"Hey, Linds, I'll call you later, okay?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah, sure," Lindsey agreed.

She walked out and I sniffled.

"How about we get you dressed into some pjs and we eat ice cream and watch cartoons?" He suggested.

"Can we cuddle too?" I asked.

"Of course we can, Button," he said.

"And we can make a blanket fort too?" I asked.

"Yes," Gerard said.

"And eat candy?" I asked.

"Baby boy, we can do whatever you want," he stated.

I sniffled as he set me down and stood up.

"What do you wanna wear?" He asked.

"Onesie," I said.

I loved my onesies, they're so warm and comfortable.

"Which one?" He asked.

I pointed to the blue one with the dinosaurs on it. Gerard smiled, helping me into it. He zipped it up and kissed my cheek.

"Come on, Button, let's go," he said.

I whined, making grabby hands. Gerard smiled, picking me up, making sure to grab Turtle and my paci. He carried me downstairs and set me on the couch. I set up the tv playing cartoons while he went to get ice cream. He came back and cuddled up with me under a blanket. I smiled, eating the ice cream as I quickly started forgetting about Dallon.

"Cuddles," I said, scootching closer to him.

Gerard smiled as I crawled into his lap. We watched the screen until we both finished our ice cream. He wrapped his arms around me and I smiled, straddling his hips. I kissed the tip of his nose and giggled.

"I love you, Gerard," I said.

"I love you too, Button," he said. "You okay?"

I smiled softly and nodded, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Gerard?" I asked quietly and he hummed as he rubbed my back softly. "What do you think my family is like?"

It's something I've always wondered. I don't know my parents or what they look like or any of my family. Maybe I have other siblings. Maybe my parents were super smart or maybe they were famous or rich or poor.

"I think, compared to what you look like, they are absolutely beautiful," Gerard said and I giggled. "And they must be super smart and nice and funny."

He kissed the top of my head and I wrapped my arms around him.

"Do you think they looked like me?" I asked. "What if they're vegetarian like me too?"

"I'm sure whoever they were they're great," Gerard said.

"I think so too," I agreed.

Gerard's arms wrapped around my waist and I smiled, burying my face into the crook of his neck. I sighed in content, smelling the slightly scent of cigarettes on his shirt. I pulled my head up, looking at him as I bit my lip. I leaned forward to kiss his cheek softly, my lips lingering against his skin, which was dangerously close to his lips. Gerard's breath hitched as he pulled away. I buried my face into the crook of his neck again.

"Button?" Gerard asked softly.

I picked my head up and saw him blushing.

"C-can you break up with Dallon?" He asked.

I shook my head and he sighed. He looked hurt, almost. I kissed his forehead and Gerard just looked away.

"I'm gonna go out and smoke," he said.

He set me down on the couch and I pouted as he went out the backdoor. I followed him a moment later, bringing Turtle with me. I found him leaning against the porch railing, watching me as he smoked. I went and sat down on the railing beside him.

"Mr. Turtle thinks your upset again," I said quietly. "He doesn't like you upset. I don't either, it makes me sad."

Gerard stood in between my legs and gave me a soft smile. Smoke blew into my face and I scrunched my nose up. Gerard smiled, kissing my cheek and putting his hands on my hips. He stepped closer his body pressing lightly against mine.

"Turtle get kissies too?" I asked, holding up my panda stuffie.

Gerard kissed the top of his head and I giggled. He dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. Mom used to always get so annoyed when he did that, she said it made the porch dirty.

Gerard held my hips again, standing between my legs. He smiled at me and kissed my cheek softly. I giggled, blushing as I held onto Turtle.

"I love you so much, Button," Gerard said.

"I love you too, Gerard," I said.

He leaned closer and my breath stopped when his lips moved closer to mine but I didn't try to move away. But before our lips connected, he stopped, seeming to think about his actions. Gerard kissed my cheek quickly and took a few steps back.

He cursed under his breath, shaking his head. Gerard walked inside and left me sitting on the porch railing, my heart racing in my chest.