TW: None. Wow, look at that, I'm so awesome


The drive back to the group home was nothing of excitement. They stopped once to get gas and use the bathroom. Virgil had taken a nap at some point, laying across the seats and using Janus's lap as a pillow. Patton had given him his jacket to use as a blanket, and Logan had muttered a quiet complaint to Patton about how laying down would not end well if they were in a crash, Patton had simply hushed him and made a comment about how cute Virgil looked asleep. Janus's phone battery died about halfway through, forcing him to remove his earbuds and listen to the radio with the two adults as Virgil slept, but that had turned to static not too long after. 

The radio hadn't been off for very long though before Patton tried to start a conversation. Apparently, he wasn't the type of person who was fine sitting in silence like Janus and Logan were. He made multiple attempts at dialogue but seemed he was just as persistent in talking as Janus was in not. He'd ask questions about school, or favorites, and would receive short, clipped replies that left nothing to build off of. Janus attempted to get his message of I don't want to talk to you.' across in his answers, but Patton either ignored the hints or didn't notice as he continued to answer.

"What's your favorite book Janus?"

"Don't have one."

"Do you have any hobbies?"

"No."

"What are your friends like?"

"Friendly."

Logan was eventually dragged into the attempts too, and his answers were a little harder to dodge or ignore more so because of what they were rather than the topic. The doctor had seemed to pick up on the fact that Janus liked a good debate (it probably hadn't been hard to figure out) and would bring up topics that under normal circumstances Janus would easily make conversation out of. But here, now, he was aware of what Logan was trying to do and knew not to fall prey to his trap. Questions like how one should define success or whether or not homework did more harm than good were answered with 'I don't know' and 'I don't care'. Patton and Logan ended up talking to each other instead, and would sometimes ask for Janus's opinion but he'd just continue to give them the same treatment he'd been giving.

"I don't know hun, my favorite tradition has always been watching movies with you and the boys," Patton said when the conversation had somehow turned into holidays and traditions or whatever else, "What about you Janus? Do you and Virgil have any Christmas traditions?"

"We're Jewish," Janus told them boredly, head resting against the window as he watched the wildlife pass.

"Oh," Patton replied, "That's interesting. Do you celebrate Hanukah?"

"Is that the only thing you know about Jewish holidays?" He asked. It was more of a final answer than having to explain that celebrating Hanukah was hard when you lived in a Group Home. Hell, holidays, in general, were hard. Didn't matter how many charities donated toys or gifts or what, it wasn't going to replace what they really wanted. Even when they weren't in group homes, and had been placed in foster homes instead, they had never been placed with a Jewish family. 

"Do you know any Hebrew?" Logan asked.

Janus shrugged, he used to learn Hebrew when he attended some sorta youth group at his parent's synagogue, but he'd forgotten most of it by now. Only knowing a few words here and there. It wasn't even enough to ask for directions. To be fair though, it had been nearly six years and he hadn't practiced at all since then. He'd never even really liked it, he'd thought it was boring. When he realized he was starting to forget, he hadn't even really cared all that much. At this point, he didn't even know if he could call himself Jewish. He knew Virgil didn't think of himself that way, he'd been three, and he couldn't even remember celebrating Hanukah. 

"Virgil's file didn't mention him being Jewish," Patton mumbled, probably not expecting Janus to have heard him.

"Wow, now that's a shocker," Janus said sarcastically, "I wonder what other important information is missing. I hope it doesn't cause any problems any time soon. Oh, wait, it already has."

Janus was expecting an awkward silence. Maybe a stern comment about how none of this was their fault and Janus should really tone it down on the blame game. What he wasn't expecting was for Patton to laugh. Or for Logan to smile, and glance at him from the rearview mirror. Those were both unexpected reactions, and Janus wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond to them.

"It's good seeing you making jokes kiddo, especially now, I know this is probably really stressful for you," Patton told him, turning in his seat to look at Janus with his own smile, "You're doing great though, and it's gonna be okay."

"I'm not stressed," Janus said, a lie, "I'm fine."

"Even so," Logan began, not believing Janus for a second but deciding against denying him, "If you were stressed, then jokes would be an excellent coping mechanism. However, it is important you express and acknowledges your emotions and what you might be feeling. Jokes can not replace honesty, even if it is solely to oneself."

Janus said nothing, instead choosing to ignore the words as he crossed his arms in front of him and laid his head back against the headrest. Whatever. He didn't need to listen to the guy who'd been acting like a dictionary and calculator's love child. Logan had expressed absolutely no emotion since Janus had met him, he'd been neutral about everything. Well, except when he'd look at Patton all doe-eyed and boy-crazy. Or when he'd smile at the twins and Virgil, and look so encouraging and proud, and Janus had to admit he had kinda liked it when he received those looks too.

But still, he hadn't even raised his voice when Janus broke into his house and tried to 'steal' a kid or when Janus had accidentally triggered his brother's anxiety attack. And Janus hadn't missed how Logan often failed to understand jokes or metaphors. He hadn't overlooked how Logan couldn't always decipher what others were feeling and relied heavily on Patton to guide him to a conclusion. Who was this guy, this random dude, to lecture Janus about emotion? A goldfish probably had more emotion than this walking computer. So yeah, Janus would be taking his advice with a grain of salt. Because he certainly wasn't about to trust the guy, not after everything that'd happened, that'd be just as stupid of a mistake as everything else he'd done.

*****

Virgil had woken up about thirty minutes away from the group home and more anxious than he'd been when he'd fallen asleep. He'd moved to the middle seat so he could link his arm with Janus's and had Bitey in his lap, lifting the stuffed bat up and down and playing with its weight. He'd been mostly quiet, which Janus was fine with and used to, but Patton had easily been able to draw him into a conversation about that cartoon they'd been watching the night before.

Patton had seemed absolutely ecstatic to get his opinion, and Janus was only a little weirded out by this until he remembered that, considering nobody had really talked about the show the night before, this was the first time Patton was actually hearing Virgil tell him how he felt about the show. He would squeal with excitement every time Virgil said something he resonated with, which he did much quieter after Virgil had flinched and had noticeably pulled closer to Janus, and he would always nod enthusiastically at everything being said. His excitement about the conversation had seemed to contaminate Virgil because soon he was waving his hands happily as he spoke about his favorite scenes.

"-And-and I like it when King acts-tries to be scary because it's funny and also reminds me of Dee." Virgil explained as he bounced slightly forward in his seat. Janus raised an eyebrow at the comparison but shrugged it off with a small smile.

"What about Hooty?" Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head, "I don't like his voice," he said with a frown, "But he's funny and scary in a good way. He's kinda like Remus because they both like bugs and are gross but he's a really brave friend and that's kinda like Roman and I would like him more but his voice is bad."

"Bad?" Logan asked, "Is it not the same voice actor as the dog character with a skull helmet?"

Virgil shrugged, probably not knowing whether it was true or not, "It's just bad, I don't like it. It's bad."

Patton smiled at him, "Kiddo, not everything you don't like has to be bad. Things can be good even if you do like them."

"Yeah, I know, but some things are just bad. Like spinach and cheese sauce and itchy grass. Other things I don't like are good though, like mud and flavored mint."

"How do you decide what's good or bad?" Patton asked.

"I dunno, I just know," Virgil answered, Patton, nodded in response.

"We have arrived," Logan said as he turned into a parking lot.

Janus opened his eyes, then squinted slightly with confusion, "This... isn't the group home," he said slowly.

"Of course not kiddo," Patton replied as Logan parked the car.

"Why are we at Ryan's work?" Virgil asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"We need to speak to someone here," Logan answered, "Come along boys, we're running late."

Janus frowned as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, holding the door open for Virgil before closing it. His brother grabbed onto his hand, squeezing it slightly as he held his stuffed bat close. "Jannie, why are we here?"

"It's going to be okay Vee," Janus assured quietly.

"But I like them," Virgil told him, "I don't wanna go back, I like them. And I like Remus and Roman, and now you're here too, so it's perfect."

Janus just sighed, "Come on Virge, let's get inside already," he said before lightly tugging on Virgil's hand and pulling them toward the building. Logan held the door open for them all as Patton spoke to the woman at the front desk with a cheery smile. Janus led Virgil over to a group of chairs and took a seat, anxiously waiting for what came next.

Word Count: 1745