it was christmas eve. sherlock helped his mother set up the dining room table, carrying out plates and baskets of yeast rolls. he kept himself confined in the kitchen and dining room, staying away from john. it was always a tradition to eat together. they were like one big family and every year they switched what house they would eat at and this year it was the holmeses.

it's been six days since sherlock spoke to john and as far as sherlock knows, john at sholto we're still together. sherlock constantly checked john's profiles, seeing that all of his bios still had sholto's name in them. so either they worked it out or they broke up, but john cant let go. either way, sherlock should just stop thinking about john in general because their friendship was over.

"sherlock, get the pie from the oven, will you?" mrs. holmes asked her son as she carried the ham out to the dining room.

sherlock grabbed an oven mitt, putting it on as he turned the timer on the stove off. he opened the stove, pulling out the apple pie out and setting it on the counter. he shut the oven door, taking the mitt. "do you want it out there, ma?" he shouted slightly.

"please!"

sherlock put the oven mitt on again, picking the pie up then carrying it carefully to the dining room. everyone started to pile into the dining room, standing behind their seats as mr. holmes cut the ham. sherlock set the pie next to the pumpkin one, leaving the mitt under it so it didn't burn the table cloth. he went to the empty seat at the corner of the table next to his uncle and stood.

"would you like to lead us in prayer, dorothy?" mrs. holmes asked mrs. watson.

"of course." mrs. watson smiled.

everyone bowed their heads, closing their eyes as mrs. watson started praying. sherlock kept his eyes open, staring down at his empty plate as he felt a pair of eyes on him. he lifted his head slightly, seeing john staring at him from across the far end of the table. sherlock brought his head up, gaining full eye contact with john. they stood like that, just starting at each other as their families had their heads bowed in prayer.

sherlock could see it in john's eyes. he's been crying. there were bags under his eyes and there was stubble growing. him and sholto definitely broke up. john wasn't even caring about his appearance. his button up under his sweater wasn't tucked in, his cuffs weren't buttoned in the second hole and he was picking at his nails again.

"amen." came the voices around the table.

sherlock looked down, pulling his chair out and sitting down. he felt and elbow nudge him and he looked over at his uncle.

"you alright?" rudy asked softly.

sherlock nodded. "how do think everyone would feel if i came out during dessert?" he asked, careful his father didn't hear.

"it's your decision. not mine." rudy said, patting shelrock's forearm. he turned and took the dish of green beans that was being passed down.

sherlock looked over at his father who was sitting at the end of the table. his father smiled at him before telling him to pay attention because everything was being passed around.

there was chatter and laughter throughout the dinner. both families were smiling and laughing, sharing memories of past christmases or stories from back in the day when the adults were teens and what they did. sherlock found out that his father set a christmas tree on fire on accident because he plugged in bad christmas lights. and it wasn't just any old tree, is was his future wife's tree. that's why shelrock's grandparents were never that found of his father. durning dinner, sherlock caught glances of john looking at him, but he ignored them and looked some where else. his night was going good as he didn't want it to be ruined until he was going to ruin the night for everyone else. it wasn't his intention, but it's been eating him ever since he came out to his uncle and he just had to do it. he couldn't take the pressure of his greatest secret anymore.

once the dinner plates were cleared, mrs. holmes and mrs. watson brought out the numerous deserts they had made. there was pie, peanut butter balls, peanut butter fudge, assortment of cookies. anything you craved was on the table.

"get yourself some desert, son." mr. holmes said before stuffing his mouth with a fork full of carrot cake. "get some meat on them bones."

sherlock looked at the goods on the table, snatching a few ginger snaps and putting them on his plate.

"now would be the time while the chatter is down." rudy said softly to his nephew.

sherlock took a bite of his ginger snap, washing it down with his glass of milk before standing up. "i'd like to say something." he said as he looked around the table. at his family, then to his second family. "i've been meaning to say it for quite some years now, but i finally have the balls now." he looked at his mother and father. "i'm gay." he said. his mother got up from her seat and walked around the table, pulling her son into a tight embrace.

"i love you." his mother said. she pulled away. "and we still love you the same. nothing will change, but we will be expecting a nice boy to come home with you next christmas."

sherlock chuckled and looked down at his father who was smiling up at him. "one damn christmas present if you ask me." he said.

sherlock laughed, the rest of the room laughing with him. his father stood and gave him a hug, patting him on the back. he pulled away, a smile still plastered on his face. "proud of ya. takes a lot of guts to come out. some i may never have."

"you asked mom's parents for their blessing. that takes some guts." sherlock said.

"damn right it does." mr. holmes said before he sat down again.

sherlock looked over to the other side of the table, seeing mr. and mrs. watson smiling at him. he smiled back then sat down, looking at john who got up quietly from his seat, telling his mother something before walking out of the dining room. part of sherlock told him to go after him, but the other part told him to stay seated and eat his ginger snaps. he stayed in his seat, asking for the peanut butter balls.

after everyone was finished with dessert, they broke out the eggnog and migrated to the living room for their traditional watching of miracle on 34th street and home alone. during the first movie, sherlock got up from his seat, weaving his way through family and to the stair case. he walked up the steps silently, seeing john sitting in the small lounge area by the steps.

"you okay?" sherlock asked.

"why do care?" john sniffled. "you left me. james left me." he looked up at sherlock. "my mother couldn't listen to me rant because she was too busy. too busy to listen to her own fucking son." he looked into his lap again. "i don't even know why i try anymore. james is ignoring me and you're out here, happy and carefree. and i thought people were my friends, but once i went to them with my problems, they ignored me." he started crying.

sherlock went over to the love seat, standing in front of john. he grabbed his wrists and pulled him up, wrapping his arms around his friend and hugging him. "let it out." he rubbed john's back. "it's okay."

john relaxed into sherlock, sobbing. he calmed down after a few minutes, keeping his arms wrapped around sherlock's waist, not wanting the moment to end.

sherlock cupped john's cheek, pulling his face out from his shoulder, smiling down at him. "you know, i ignored you when i first got home because i couldn't bear seeing you." sherlock wiped the blond's tears with his thumbs. "i didn't say good bye because i felt like i would have told you my feelings and you would never have spoke to me again." sherlock buttoned john's cuffs. "and i couldn't lose an amazing friend like you. and i pretty much did because i pushed you away."

john looked down, taking both of sherlock's hands in his, tangling their fingers together. "how long?" he looked up at his friend.

"the summer after sophomore year." the space between them became a bit smaller. "you?"

"after you left with out saying goodbye."

there was a second of just starring before sherlock made the first move, letting go of john's hand. he put his finger under the chin of the blond, tilting his head up more then catching him into a kiss. john stepped closer, his hands resting on the boney hips, gripping the fabric of sherlock's shirt.

it felt right. they were both pieces of a puzzle. a five hundred pieced puzzle and it only took them nineteen years to find the last two missing pieces. each other.

john pulled away first, needing a breath of air. he smiled up at his friend, wanting to stay like this forever.

"we need to get down there." sherlock gently traced john's cheek bone with his thumb, admiring the way the tanned skin looked against his pale tone.

john pressed his face into the crook of the taller man's neck. "do we really?" he inhaled the scent of his body was and coffee beans.

"afraid so." sherlock kissed the top of john's head. "but, we can sit under a blanket and i'll hold your hand and you can lay on my shoulder."

john hummed. "you got me there."

"c'mon then." sherlock took john's hand, pulling away and turning to the steps.

they walked into the living room silently, sitting on the floor in front of the sofa where harry was sitting. sherlock grabbed the afghan that he had covering his lap earlier, putting it over their laps then snaking his hand under it, lacing his fingers with john's, loving the way their hands felt together. after a few minutes, john's body relaxed against sherlock's, his head falling onto his shoulder and sherlock smiled to himself. this was all he ever wanted. all he could ever ask for.

best christmas present ever.