"Whoa, um, I'm sorry," the guy says before he leaves just as quickly as he came in.

Before Arin can even look at Dan, the older man is shoving him away like he's disgusted by him. "God fucking dammit," Dan swears, pushing past Arin. "This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. This is why I didn't want to come on this date in the first fucking place- I told you I'm not ready for people to know about this."

"The guy didn't even seem all that bothered, just embarrassed," Arin tries to explain, reaching for Dan's arm. Dan shrugs it off and runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the curls. "Danny, please- he more than likely didn't recognize us and we'll never fuckin' see him again. He's just some rando, it's not like everyone is gonna somehow find out about us now."

"That's not the fucking point, Arin," Dan snaps, sounding a little defeated, as if he's on the verge of tears. "The point is that I'm scared of being judged by other people and okay, yeah, I'm scared of what will happen when people find out, because they will find out- it's not like we can hide this forever, and I know that, but goddamn... how many times do I need to say that I'm not fucking ready for people to know and I don't wanna know how everyone else is going to react- I don't think I can handle it. It doesn't matter that he was some fucking rando, I just... I knew this was a bad idea."

Dan leaves the bathroom, but Arin follows him out. "Dan," he sighs, reaching for his boyfriend, but Dan pushes him away. Arin's sure Dan can see the hurt on his face, but he doesn't react to it.

"No, Arin. Just stop." Arin's hands fall to his sides and Dan looks at him with a guilty expression. "This... this was a mistake; it's obviously not going to work out between us when I can't even handle the fact that I'm in love with another guy and I don't want anyone else to know about it."

Arin nearly winces. "What are you saying?" he almost whispers, his eyes watering. Dan frowns, avoiding his eyes because he knows he'll only find hurt in them.

"I'm saying that we should just break up now before I ruin everything and this destroys our friendship for good."

Arin feels like he's been shot right in the chest. He takes in a shuddering breath, but Dan speaks again before he gets the chance to say anything.

"Look, Arin... if we're together, keeping our relationship a secret is the best thing we can do because not everyone is going to understand it, first of all, and like... fuck, I don't want anybody- not friends or fans or anyone, period, to think of me differently for wanting to be with you. I'm not ready for public dates or anything like that because as it is I'm barely getting used to kissing you and shit. Once again, I'm not ready for anyone else to know about us. I keep repeating myself and it feels like you don't get it."

"I do get it, but nobody would think differently of you, Dan," Arin argues, trying not to get too emotional, "But I understand, and it's fine that you don't want anyone else to know and I'm sorry that you keep having to make that clear, because you shouldn't have to. And I'm sorry if I've been pushing you, Danny, but please... please don't say that we should break up."

Arin pauses, trying to figure out what to say next. "Look, you know I'm an idiot, and I make mistakes and- and I'm so fucking sorry, dude. I know that I shouldn't have made you come out here, and I shouldn't have kissed you in a public place, and I should've... I should've done things different. But I promise that from now on I won't do anything that could possibly out us to anyone or anything like that, okay? I swear that I won't fuck this up again. Just... please don't say that it's over."

Dan bites down on his bottom lip. "I wanna be with you, Arin; I wouldn't be standing here right now if I didn't. I just feel like I'm being selfish and unfair to you, and all of that could destroy everything between us. I don't want that. I want to prevent that, and I feel like breaking up is the only way."

"You're allowed to be selfish- I don't mind if you are. I'm willing to do and put up with whatever I need to in order to be with you because I fucking love you, Dan, you know? I really fucking love you, and I'm not gonna give up on you that easily. So don't... don't break up with me. Please."

Dan gives him a long, hard look and then he sighs. "I love you too, Ar," he finally says, walking over to him and pulling him into a tight hug. "I'll try harder to get over my fears for you, but just be patient with me if you can. I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out."

Arin hugs him back, but tighter. "No, baby, don't be," the younger man tells him. "I deserve it and honestly, I should be apologizing to you because I broke your rule, or whatever it is. I hurt you, basically, and I'm sorry."

Dan shakes his head. "You didn't, but none of that matters now," he insists, pulling away a little before someone else sees them, but then he changes his mind. "You... you're right anyway- these people don't know us and we'll never see them again so let them think whatever, right? It's not gonna hurt us." Dan lets out an exhale and steps back, holding out his free hand, offering it to Arin. "Now why don't we just go ahead and head back to yours? We have to record the show tomorrow so we might as well spend the rest of our night away from other people and their prying eyes so that we can actually fuckin' enjoy it before we get busy with our lives again."

Arin nods, slowly taking Dan's hand and letting their fingers intertwine. "Okay, let's go then."

And that's how they make their way back through the carnival and to Arin's car- their fingers laced together, Arin smiling and Dan trying not to care if anyone sees them and judges. He finds himself catching the eye of that girl from the ring toss game before - Ashley, and her surprised look and then her small, understanding smile. He sends one back to her, and she waves goodbye.

Once they're back at the movie theater parking lot, they hop inside of Arin's car and start the drive home, talking quietly.

"What do you wanna do when we get back?" Arin inquires as they stop at a red light. Dan shoots him a look and Arin finds himself confused. "Hey, what's that look for? I was just asking."

"Oh come on, Arin," Dan says suddenly, shaking his head at him. "I know you're an idiot, dude, but I also know you're kinda smart too, so go ahead and use your brain. You know what I want to do already."

Arin blinks before it clicks in his head, his face feeling warm. "Oh. You're talking about sex, right?"

Dan rolls his eyes and then he laughs. "Yes, Arin, I'm talking about sex."

Arin furrows his eyebrows. "You still want to?" he asks. He wasn't really expecting it to happen tonight anymore after their argument, but it's not like he's going to say no if that's what Dan wants still. "Not that I don't want to, I just figured you wouldn't want to after tonight considering we almost fuckin' broke up and everything. So like... don't think that you have to force yourself or anything because you don't."

Dan frowns, reaching for Arin's hand after the younger man makes a turn and continues driving.

"I'm not forcing myself," Dan murmurs, trying to reassure him. "I want to still, even after the small fight we had, because we're okay now, and honestly it might help me feel better." Dan laughs a little nervously. "And besides, we already talked about it earlier, remember?"

"Yeah," Arin replies with a grin, "I remember. I just wanted to be sure you're still completely okay with it."

Dan chuckles, bringing Arin's hand to his lips and placing a kiss on his knuckles. "I'm okay with it, dude, I promise. And you know, it may have made me nervous, but it also felt really fuckin' good to walk back to your car, through that carnival full of people, holding your hand the whole time. It felt nice not to care."

Arin bites his lip. "I'm glad. Honestly. I know it can be scary- when I first realized I was bi, I used to get so scared that people would be able to tell just from looking at me. I slowly got over it, but then the fear came back when I briefly dated a guy. I was so fuckin' scared that people could tell or would somehow find out, despite the fact that we never went on dates or anything and I didn't tell people about him. It got so bad that I just randomly ended the relationship, but now I'm at the point where I don't care what people think of me anymore, you know?"

Dan nods, but he tilts his head. "So wait, you really have dated a guy before? So I was right then... When did that happen?"

"Uh... when Suzy and I briefly broke up that one time when I was like 22, I think, and she was dating that one asshole, Shawn. I've told you about it before. Anyway, I'll fuckin' spare most of the details, but like I said, it didn't last long because of me. We were only together for about two or three months, but he was nice though, I guess." Arin pauses for a moment but then remembers what he'd wanted to say next. "Oh, yeah, though we were together, I never slept with him; we just fooled around and shit because I was too scared to go any further with him than just like, handjobs and fingering. And then about two weeks after I broke up with him, Suzy and I got back together, so yeah... it all worked out."

Dan looks at Arin curiously. "So... Suzy knows about it then?" he questions, though he's guessing that she probably does by this point. They have been together for a long time, and if she doesn't know, Dan would be shocked to find out.

Arin confirms what Dan pretty much already guessed. "Oh, hell yeah she knows, dude. She was actually the first person who I came out to and that's kinda what caused problems between us and split us up until we had time to sit down and talk it out, and then after everything she was okay with it, of course. But I made sure that I told her I was with him before we got back together, in case it made her change her mind."

"I see," Dan murmurs in response, but then he can't help but to wonder. "So then... will I be the first guy you've ever actually... you know, had actual, full-blown sex with, or...?"

Arin purses his lips, his eyes on the road. "...Yeah, you will be," he breathes out as if he's kind of embarrassed, also confirming Dan's other suspicions. Somehow, hearing him say it has Dan feeling a pang in his chest and a weird mix of nervousness, excitement and something like pride swirling around inside of himself. "I actually haven't had sex with another dude. Crazy, isn't it?"

"Fuck," Dan swears under his breath, but Arin still catches it and gives him a worried look. Dan simply waves it away. "It's just that I didn't expect... goddamn, Arin. I guess I just automatically assumed that you at least fucked another guy at this point like I was telling you last night, though I was never sure if you dated one before me, so like... yeah, it's blowing my mind a little to find out you haven't. Not uh, not that I'm trying to make it sound like you're a whore or anything. Shit, I'm fucking this up, aren't I? I'm so sorry."

Arin laughs a little. "You're fine, dude," he promises, giving Dan's hand a squeeze. "I mean I can see why you'd just assume based on all the shit I've ever said, especially on Game Grumps, but uh, yeah, I'd never blown a guy before you and I've never actually fully had anal sex with another guy yet, so, like... I dunno." Arin pauses. "Although..."

Dan looks at him with raised eyebrows. "Although?"

"It's obviously different, but I've been pegged before so I mean... I can imagine it's the same thing- same feeling, anyway. You know, it's all probably even kinda like what we did last night, when you fucked me with that dildo. I'd assume it feels all the same."

Dan blinks. "Wait a minute," he says, stopping Arin from saying anything else. "You've been pegged? That's like when a girl fucks you with a strap-on, right?" At Arin's nod, Dan blinks again. "I should've guessed you and Suzy would've done that at least once, especially after how I saw you taking that toy last night, but somehow I just assumed you knew what you were doing and how you liked it because you fucked a guy. But you didn't. I don't know why I didn't even think of pegging."

Arin shrugs. "Well, anyway- bottom line is that you shouldn't be as nervous now that you know that I'm kind of in the same fuckin' boat as you and we'll share the first experience."

Dan exhales, seeming a bit more relaxed than before. "Yeah."

-

happy birthday, Danny 👀