Arin feels like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet for thinking that it would all go well. He wishes that he could take it back as he stands there, staring at the door for what feels like forever but is actually only maybe ten minutes. With a sinking pit in his stomach and an aching in his heart, Arin slowly walks over to the couch, falling onto the soft cushions. He feels numb, feels like crying. He doesn't know what the hell to do.

So he does the only things he can do. He gets up and gets the remaining alcohol from the fridge - one mostly full bottle - and he sits back down to call Suzy. The phone rings for a bit, but then eventually Arin is met with the sound of his wife's soothing voice.

"Hey baby," she says cheerfully into the phone, and Arin feels like garbage for even calling her and bothering her when she seems to be having a good time at Jean's. He doesn't want to ruin it for her. "What's up? How are things going?"

He feels stupid too when his eyes start watering, and he immediately changes his mind. "Fuck," he murmurs, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. "I'm- I'm sorry for bothering you, Suze. I wasn't really thinking, I guess. It's not that important and I don't want to ruin your night over it, so I'll um- I'll talk to you later, baby. I love you. Goodnight."

He pulls the phone away from his ear to hang up, but stops when he hears her voice. "Wait, wait, Arin no- don't hang up. Tell me what's going on."

Putting the phone back up to his ear, he lets out a sigh, leaning forward and covering his eyes with his hand. "It's- it's not good, Suze," he whispers, biting down on his lip before he reaches for the bottle beside him and takes a sip.

"What happened, baby?" she questions softly, making Arin want to just curl up in a ball and cry because he wishes that she were here so badly to hold him and make it all better. "Arin?"

"I kissed Dan," he tells her, sniffling. He can hear her saying something to her sister and then there's some shuffling before he can hear her inhale sharply. He exhales a shaky, shuddering breath before he speaks again. "It didn't go well. I feel like a stupid fucking asshole right now. God, Suzy, you should've seen the way he pushed me back, the way he looked at me and the way he acted like my touch suddenly started to hurt him. It broke my heart."

"Well, where is he right now?" she asks, probably standing outside if the sound of cars whirring past in the background is anything to go by.

Arin shrugs but remembers she can't see him. "Honestly, the fuck if I know," he mutters in response, clearing his throat. "He left a little bit ago. Said that he 'can't do this, can't deal with it right now' or whatever, and then he ran away. Drove off in his car without another word and left me here alone."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," she whispers. "I'll get on the next flight back so that-"

"No," he interrupts her, running a hand through his hair. "Please, don't. I know that you're having a good time there with Jean and I'm not gonna fuckin' ruin that for you. I... I'll be okay by myself for the next couple of days, alright? So don't cut your time with your sister short, and don't worry about me."

"Arin," she sighs, and he bites down on his lip, feeling guilty for calling her in the first place. "You know that all I'm gonna do is worry about you for the next three or four days until I get back home. I can come back now, it's okay."

"I think I need to be alone right now anyway," he insists, trying to convince himself that being by himself is the best thing for him right now even though he knows it isn't. "I appreciate it though, I really do, but you haven't seen your sister in a while so just... take your time there with her, and I'll see you when you come home on Sunday."

"Are you sure?" she presses sadly, her heart aching for him. "Well... I love you, and I'm so sorry, Arin. Things will get better, I promise."

He doubts it, but he doesn't say so aloud. "I love you too, Suze. Thanks for listening to my bullshit whining."

He can tell that she's frowning. "Oh, stop that. Just be careful, okay? Don't..." she pauses, taking a deep breath like she's worried, "Please don't do anything you'd regret. I know you're going to be upset for a while, but please call me before you even think about hurting yourself or doing anything reckless. And you may not like it, but I'm... I'm gonna talk to Danny about this whole situation and see how he's doing. He will probably talk to me and tell me why he ran out on you. I'll fix this, okay? It was my advice that did this, so I'll make it better."

"Suzy... you don't have to. It was my feelings that made me kiss him, so it's my fault, not yours. It's not your problem to solve."

"All of your problems are my problems too, Arin," she states, and he can't help but to smile even a little at that. "That's a part of being married and just... being with someone, period. You share their problems, their worries- you're troubled by the things that trouble them. If something bothers the one you love, you're going to want to do all you can to make it better for them."

"You're right," he says, because she is.

"I know," she tells him. "Well babe, I love you. Be safe. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, love you too," he whispers, and then they're both hanging up and Arin is left alone with his thoughts.

Well, not completely alone. Mochi rubs up against Arin's legs as he takes another swig from the bottle. He reaches down and gives the cat a few scratches under his chin until Mochi is satisfied, purring up a storm. He hops up onto the couch and curls up beside Otto and Mimi, getting comfy.

Arin leans forward and grabs the TV remote, finding something to put on to distract him. He turns his phone completely off and just puts it wherever so that if he gets drunk, he won't be able to easily send any messages he'd regret or accidentally post something dumb to his social media. He doesn't care about where the thing ends up right now, as long as it's away from him.

It's only approaching 7PM, yet Arin feels like lying down and going to sleep already. His mind is elsewhere even as he tries to watch TV, anxious to know if Suzy has already spoken to Dan or not, what she said to him, and if Dan got home safe. Arin's worried about what's going to happen to Game Grumps if Dan can't at the very least forgive him.

By 8PM, the bottle is closer to empty and Arin feels pretty drunk. His face is too warm, the room is too warm and everything is spinning. He feels like throwing up or killing himself at this point. He wants to call Suzy again, wants to call Dan and try to apologize even though deep down, he knows that would be the worst thing to do right now, but alas; Arin can't find his phone.

By 9PM, the empty bottle is somewhere on the floor and Arin's standing in the middle of the room, his hands in his hair as he looks for his phone but frustratingly can't seem to find it. He takes a moment to think about what friend of his lives closest and if he can get away with driving to their house to use their phone.

Dan, Ross and Brian are the closest three, but Dan is definitely out of the question. Ross might be busy still, maybe at the office actually. Brian is most definitely still awake, but Arin isn't sure if the older man would be okay with Arin being drunk around Audrey.

He figures that the kid is probably asleep though so it'd probably be okay to go over to Brian's to use his phone. He staggers through the kitchen and turns to the room where the front door is, passing by the downstairs bathroom on his way to grab his sandals and slip them on. He grabs his keys but drops them and has to pick them up off the floor. The sudden movement of him bending over makes him feel sick, but he holds it in and heads out the front door, closing it maybe a bit too loudly.

He has trouble getting into the car, but when he finally does get in, he sits inside of it for a moment, thinking about it.

He starts up the car, turning on his headlights before he pulls out of the driveway. It wasn't perfect, but he didn't hit anything so he counts that as a win and heads down the street in the direction of Brian's house. He only swerves a little, and he feels rather focused as he drives. It's not so bad, except he rolls right through at least two stop signs and one red light. Thankfully, there's not really that many people to see it.

He pulls into Brian's driveway after about maybe ten minutes of driving and steps out of the car, heading to the front door and only tripping once. He hesitates with his finger over the doorbell and settles for knocking instead.

It's actually Brian who comes to the door. "Oh, Arin, hi," he says, leaning forward to look around. "What's up? Where's Dan?"

Arin frowns and winces at the mention of the man he's in love with, which he never thought would happen. "He's not with me," he answers, but it's a little slurred. "He went home. He's fuckin'... mad at me an' shit 'cause I fucked up real bad."

Brian looks confused. "What do you mean?" he questions, straightening up a little. "What happened? Are you... Arin, are you drunk?"

"Just... only a little itty bitty, tiny bit-"

"And you drove here?" Brian gestures to Arin's car that's parked slightly lopsided in the driveway. "What the hell is the matter with you? You do know that if you got pulled over, you would've gotten a fucking DUI and you'd be sitting your ass in jail right about now, right?"

Arin runs a hand through his hair, biting down hard on his lip. "I- I just needed to talk to Suzy but I lost my phone," he explains, probably looking as in distress and shitty as he feels right now. "I'm havin' a hard time 'cause of Danny leaving an' I don't want to fuck up an' do somethin' really dumb 'cause Suzy asked me not to hurt myself but it's really hard, Brian. I'm all alone at home an' I'm just thinkin' too much right now."

Brian gives him a long, hard stare before he sighs and steps aside to let the younger man in. "So I'm guessing you wanna use my phone?" he asks, and Arin nods as he steps in and sits down in the first available chair he sees. Brian reaches into his pocket for his phone and holds it out for Arin, but before he can take it, Brian snatches it away. "I'll let you use it, but I have a couple conditions."

"Okay," Arin murmurs, waiting. Brian sits down in the armchair opposite the sofa Arin sits on currently, looking at the younger of the two of them. "What're they?"

"Condition one: you have to sleep here tonight, because I'm not letting you take an Uber and you're sure as hell not driving home where you'll be alone with your thoughts. I'll ask Ross to swing by your house, shut everything down, glance around for your phone and give the cats extra food and water on his way back to his house, but you're not fuckin' leaving, especially not when you're drunk." He pauses, and Arin's watching him, face pink from the alcohol and probably embarrassment or shame. "So I'm gonna need you to give me your keys."

Brian clears his throat before speaking again. "Condition two: you have to tell me what's going on with you and Dan. Why did he leave and go home when he was supposed to stay until whenever Suzy got back? What happened, Arin?"

Arin's quiet until he nods again, wordlessly accepting Brian's conditions as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his car keys, handing them over. Brian also passes Arin the phone as he takes the keys, but Arin suddenly doesn't want to call and bother Suzy anymore, so he hands it back. Brian gives him a questioning look, but all Arin says is "Can you call an' talk to her for me? I know she'll be disappointed an' it'll just make things worse to hear it in her voice, but I need her to know where I am an' that I'm okay."

Brian nods, setting the phone aside as he waits for Arin to start talking and give him an explanation. "What happened?" he presses.

Arin shrugs, chewing on his lower lip. "I kissed him," he almost whispers. Brian is a little surprised, but he doesn't comment on it, allowing Arin to continue. "I dunno why, really. Like, I mean... I love him an' I wanna be with him, but I knew that things would end in a shitstorm if I made a move an' yet I did it anyway 'cause I'm a fuckin' dumb asshole."

And so Arin goes on to explain everything to Brian the best he can with his speech slurring so much. He tells Brian about being upset, talking to Suzy and making a deal with her and all of it, everything leading up to tonight, when Arin showed up at the older man's doorstep.

Brian takes a moment to let it all sink in. "So every time you'd joke with him and shit... you meant it? But you think that he only took those jokes for what they were and played along, and doesn't actually feel anything for you? And he just... pushed you away when you kissed him and acted cold towards you, so now you think he hates you?"

"Yeah," Arin replies softly, unable to meet Brian's eyes. "I really feel like he does. You didn't see the way he walked out like I meant nothin' at all to him... didn't see the looks he gave me, or any of it."

"Arin," Brian starts with a sigh, shifting in his seat. "Dan... he talks to me sometimes about things and how he's feeling. I'm one of his closest friends and he can trust me with everything- it's an unspoken thing between us. And he's talked to me about some shit sort of recently, and... I can't speak for him or anything, but... I don't think he hates you at all. I just think that he maybe got scared and now he needs some time to himself to think things over. He'll come around eventually, and things will go back to normal or something soon. I promise."

"What the hell could he be so scared of that it would make him run away an' act like that?"

Brian stays quiet, not sure of how he's supposed to answer. Arin frowns, not quite liking being told to just wait it out, but he guesses he has no choice. What else can he do right now besides wait and see?

If things can go back to normal at the very least, Arin can be somewhat happy. As long as Dan doesn't hate him or treat him weirdly, things will be okay for the most part. It'll suck a lot, but Arin would rather deal with the heartbreak, than deal with it and lose his best friend as well as his show, too. Everything hasn't fallen apart yet.

"You know, I wish I were fuckin' dead right now."

Brian sucks in a breath. "Arin, don't say that," he tells him, but Arin only shrugs. "I know it must suck, but it's not the end of the world. And I'm not just saying that to be a dick or anything. You just shouldn't say things like that."

"S' jus' how I feel, Brian," the younger responds rather calmly with a shrug, expression so eerily blank that it's unnerving.

Brian suddenly stands up and stretches, frowning. "I'm... I'm gonna call Suzy and talk to her for you while you stay here and watch TV or something and sober up a little. Do you want a drink?"

Arin nods, and with that, Brian exits the room. After a few minutes, Brian's wife, Rachel, comes in and gives Arin a drink, which he takes with a "thank you". She sticks around and asks him how he's feeling as they only half pay attention to what's on TV. They chit chat for a while (though Arin's fighting to pay attention to anything) until Brian comes back into the room.

"Suzy said she'll call tomorrow to talk to you while you're sober, but I told her that you were here and... everything."

Arin sighs a little, sinking further into the couch cushions. "I wish I could tell her that I'm sorry," he murmurs shamefully, swirling around the water in his glass. He wishes he could talk to Dan, too, and fix things- make everything right.

"You'll have time to tell her tomorrow," Brian says, taking the glass from him and sitting it on the table. "You should get some rest, Arin."

Arin nods without protest and Brian disappears with his wife to grab some spare blankets and a pillow. Brian helps Arin make up the couch so that he can sleep and after, the younger lies down. Brian shuts off the lights but leaves the TV on and heads to bed.

-