And the next few hours are full of awful games and laughter and banter, and they're both in such great moods. Arin's thoughts have stayed away for the session thankfully, but by the end, his good mood has dissolved, the negative thoughts intruding his mind once again as they put everything away and collect their drinks and head out into the main office area, going down the hall until they're rounding the corner.

The only one still around is Suzy, and when she hears them chatting quietly and walking past the meeting room, she leaves the bar area and goes rushing over to them, catching them by the front door. She immediately examines Arin's head wordlessly, being careful and gentle when she does so. Then she lifts up part of his shirt to take a look at his bruised side, frowning at the discoloration.

"Hey," Arin greets her with a chuckle, but his face falls after a moment and so he just takes a sip from his glass of water to avoid talking as Suzy lets go of his shirt.

"Hi, babe," she says back, trying to smile. She looks so tired and stressed and so worn out. Probably because of him.

He knew that she would be waiting for him, but he wishes that she wouldn't have. He wishes she didn't worry about him in general even though he knows better than to think that she'd ever stop. He still feels bad about when he made her worry last time he felt depressed, and he can tell that she's panicking over it all over again. It completely ruins his mood even more, making him feel guilty.

Suzy stands up straight, sighing out. "Thanks for taking him to the hospital, Danny," she utters then, giving the oldest of them all a hug. When she pulls back, she plants a kiss on Arin's forehead away from the cut by his hairline, her attention back onto him. "I'm glad you're alright, baby. So, are you feeling any better than you have been emotionally? At least since this morning?"

For some reason he finds himself feeling a little upset that she asked even though he shouldn't be. Maybe it's because he doesn't feel like he's worthy of her concern right now.

"No, not fucking really- nothing is just going to magically get better in the span of a couple of fucking hours, Suze," he mutters, although it comes out a bit rough and a whole lot harsher than he intended it to, all caused by feeling guilty, feeling like he doesn't deserve either of them and that it'll be better if he goes away and doesn't bother them anymore. Maybe he doesn't deserve them with the way he's been feeling lately, with the way he's been thinking about Dan when he's supposed to be with Suzy, with the way he's been selfishly wanting them both.

Before anyone can say anything else, he just turns leaves them, heading off into his personal office and closing the door a little too loudly to be normal. Suzy looks at the door and then back to Dan. He has just done the same thing she did, looking back at her with slightly widened eyes before he frowns.

"Did something happen just now that I missed?" Suzy questions, confusion and hurt sweeping over her. "Or before you guys came out here?"

Dan shrugs with widened eyes, shaking his head as confusion washes over him as well, trying to make sense of what just occured. "I don't fuckin' know, Scuze, he really seemed fine a second ago. I don't understand what the hell just happened."

Suzy's face falls further at that. "Do you think he's upset with me?" she asks worriedly, torn between going to find out what's wrong and leaving him alone. "Because I've been fretting too much about him? I'm just... I'm worried that he's getting bad again, and- and I..."

"He's probably not upset with you," Dan tells her, but in reality he isn't sure. He doesn't have a fucking clue as to what the hell is going on in Arin's head, especially as of recently. One second, he seems okay, and then the next it feels like everything is going wrong again. But he doesn't say anything about that, giving Suzy another hug instead, this one reassuring and comforting, or at least that's what he hopes. "It's probably just something in his head. I'll tell you what though, I'll go talk to him, okay? I'll try to find out what the hell is going on with him. You go on ahead and go home."

Suzy nods when she pulls back, her eyes watering as she tries to smile at Dan but fails and quickly turns away from him, heading off outside to go home and take her mind off of the situation and leaving Dan alone in the office when she does.

Dan walks over to Arin's office door after a moment, knocking softly. The first time, he doesn't get an answer, but the second time he does, although it's a little quiet. He opens the door and steps inside, making sure to shut it behind himself. Arin sits on the couch with his head in his hands, and doesn't look up when Dan walks over to him.

"Hey, uh, what the fuck just happened, Arin?" Dan sits down beside him then, leaning back, his eyes never leaving Arin's face, or what of it that isn't covered by Arin's fingers, and what of it is visible in the dim lighting. Dan's sure that he himself looks a bit angry, because he kind of is, and he's not going to hide it.

Arin doesn't respond, and Dan's expression softens, though his tone doesn't quite match when he speaks again. "Dude, are you alright? What's wrong with you? You just fuckin' gave Suzy an attitude and walked away out of nowhere and now she thinks that you're pissed off at her and shit, so much that she was on the verge of tears. It was super fuckin' uncool of you. Honestly, I feel like it was me that did something wrong but I don't fuckin' know what."

"I'm sorry," Arin sighs finally, rubbing his eyes with his palms as he tries to think of an excuse, but all he can think of to say is the truth, and he can't be honest right now. "Everything just got... a little overwhelming, I guess, and I fuckin' needed to step away for a minute, but it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Suzy's, I just... I didn't mean for it to come out like that and I'm really fuckin' sorry. Will you please go tell her that I'm not upset with her and that I didn't mean it?"

Dan huffs and gets off of the couch. "She's probably already headed home," he replies, heading over to the door, about to go check if she's still around, but stops, figuring that she isn't. "Tell her when you get home, and please just... just fuckin' talk to her or whatever later. I know that there's something going on with you and I get that you wanna deal with it alone, dude, and I get that you probably don't want to tell me of all people, but at least... at least tell Suzy. She's your wife and she's fuckin' worried about you, man. I'm worried about you. We don't want you to get bad again when things have just gotten to be really good."

"I know, Danny, I'm sorry," Arin murmurs, wanting the subject to be dropped so desperately.

"Tonight was so good, and we had so much fun recording. I thought that maybe I was getting you to feel better. So what... what happened?"

"You did make me feel better, dude, it's just..." Arin is quiet for a moment, sighing. "I don't know..."

"Arin," Dan starts, frowning a little as he steps closer, "Are... are you really depressed again? Suzy mentioned that you've been drinking more and eating less lately and that you just seem sad all the time and she doesn't know what the fuck to do because you won't talk to her, or to anybody. And I've noticed it too, Ar. You're not like... purposely not taking care of yourself and hurting yourself again because of whatever's wrong, are you?"

Arin's head snaps up at that, and he stares at Dan with wide eyes. "Fuck, Dan... no, it's..." he trails off, breaking the eye contact. He doesn't know how to put what he really needs to say right now into words.

So maybe Dan does know after all. Arin guesses Suzy must've told him about the fact that he used to hurt himself when he was depressed last time. He wonders how Dan reacted to it when she told him.

There's a long pause; Dan is the one to break it.

"Holy shit, was falling down the stairs even an accident?" he wonders aloud right then in a whisper, sounding so, so sad and heartbroken that it almost physically hurts Arin to hear it.

"Dude, of course it was an accident," Arin says, hands shaking as he tries to find the words to explain, but even though it's the truth, to his own ears it sounds so untrue and not believeable in the slightest. "I swear. I fucking swear."

But Dan is shaking his head, not buying it. "Fucking prove it then," he demands, standing there in the middle of the room, half illuminated by the backlights on Arin's shelves with furrowed eyebrows and tears threatening to spill. Even so, Arin thinks he looks so pretty.

"Dan, just listen to me for a second and think. Why- why the fuck would I hurt myself again? Why would I do it on purpose now?"

Even as he asks though, Arin could think of a lot of stupid reasons as to why he would, and that in itself is not a good thing.

"I don't fucking know, Arin!" Dan snaps, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Maybe if you actually talked to me or to Suzy, I'd have the goddamn answers but I don't! I don't know why you'd be hurting yourself again, but if you are, then... fuck, Arin. You need to let somebody fucking help you. You can't let it get worse. It... it can't get to the point that you'd consider fucking killing yourself. I won't have that."

"It's not..." Arin starts weakly, but he doesn't even know what to say, doesn't know what to do. "It's not like that," he finishes lamely, voice quiet and hands shaking so much that when he reaches for his glass of water that's sitting awkwardly on the edge of the ottoman, he accidentally tips it over and it falls onto the floor, slightly hitting the wall on the way and shattering, getting water everywhere.

Dan's expression immediately changes and he heads over to Arin with a sigh, picking up the pieces of glass off of the now wet floor quickly and setting them on the couch cushion before sitting down on the ottoman and taking Arin's hands in his own in an attempt to get him to calm down and stop shaking.

"Hey, hey..." Dan murmurs cautiously, voice soft and so soothing. "It's alright, just... take a deep breath and try to relax, big cat. Can you do that for me? Huh?"

Arin nods, taking in a breath as he leans against Dan's chest, letting his eyes flutter shut. Dan holds him close, running his fingers through Arin's hair, rocking him gently. Neither talk for a brief moment until Dan does.

"Look," he sighs quietly then. "I don't know what's fucking you up so badly that you're acting unlike yourself a lot of the time now, but it's fuckin' scary and upsetting to see you so depressed again, especially if you're hurting yourself or considering suicide or anything like that because of it. Please don't fuckin' do that shit. Talk to me, baby, talk to Suzy. Start seeing your therapist again if you need to. I just... I want you to be alright, you know? I love you. So goddamn much. I don't wanna lose you."

And that's when Arin lets himself break, trembling a little in Dan's arms as the tears spill all over Dan's shirt. And fuck, he hates crying in front of people, but he can't seem to stop himself this time. Dan doesn't think he's ever seen Arin cry like this, and it's really a heartbreaking sight. He's gripping Dan's shirt tightly, holding onto him like a lifeline, and all Dan can do is rock him gently and whisper that it's alright, even if it isn't.

Dan wishes he could fix the problem, but he doesn't even know what it is. It kills him that Arin won't talk to him, won't even talk to his wife because it's so bad or something. Dan wishes that he knew what to do, knew how to make it all better because he would if he could. He would do anything. He hates seeing Arin like this.

When Arin calms down enough, no longer crying but still sniffling, he finally speaks. "I'm so fucking pathetic," he whispers, a dry, humorless laugh escaping him. "It's so stupid of me to cry right now. I don't know what the hell has gotten into me but... what I've been dealing with recently isn't that fucking bad that it's worth crying over."

Dan thinks he might start to finally tell him what's wrong, but Arin doesn't bother elaborating. Dan lets out another sigh, letting his chin rest against the top of Arin's head.

"Today was an accident," Arin states suddenly with a sniffle, tracing patterns on Dan's chest with his index finger. "I promise. I'm not hurting myself on purpose because this shit- how I'm feeling right now isn't so bad that it's worth doing all of that again. And as for killing myself? No, never. I- I couldn't leave you or Suzy like that. Danny, it's not that fuckin' bad, I swear and I'd just fuckin' man up and tell you if it was. I guess... truth is I'm probably just being dramatic. And if you don't believe me, I'll fuckin' show you whatever I have to as proof. You can look at all of my skin if you feel you need to."

"No no, I believe you," Dan says, because he does. He trusts Arin, and he really feels like Arin is telling him the truth right now. He pushes a piece of Arin's hair out of his eyes gently, tucking it behind his ear. "Just keep talking, babe. I'm listening, okay?"

"I'm not ready to get too into what's been going on in my head just yet," Arin begins again, getting goosebumps from how intimate this all feels, "But a small part of it is that I feel like I don't deserve you or Suzy because of how I've been thinking lately. I feel so fuckin' greedy and selfish and guilty every time either of you have to worry about me, every time I take up your time, every time I..." Arin shakes his head, stopping before he goes too far and says too much. "There's a lot of reasons as to why I feel this way, and trust me, I- I know that it's not true. I know that you both don't mind, because you both love me and you both care. I know that, I just... let my thoughts get the best of me sometimes and I start to fuckin' doubt everything like a total doof."

"I understand," Dan tells him, still holding him close. "It happens to me, too, big cat. All the time. Suzy and I only worry because we care so much, you know? You're her husband, and you're my best fuckin' friend. We both just want you to be okay. Don't feel guilty over it or selfish or whatever. You don't need to, man."

"I know, I just need to stop acting like a baby and you guys need to stop letting me. I'm... I'm really sorry for being so difficult. I really have no good excuse."

Dan hums quietly, smiling a little. "Don't sweat it, Ar. All is forgiven."

"You're too nice, dude; I really don't deserve you." Arin holds Dan's shirt just a little tighter and exhales softly, letting his eyes flutter shut. "Now all I need to do is go home and apologize to Suzy. Maybe I should talk to her about things."

Dan nods, squeezing Arin slightly, careful to avoid the bruise before releasing him so that Arin can pull away from the embrace. "You definitely should. You'll feel better, dude, I promise. It'd be good for you to get some of the major, super personal shit off of your chest. The stuff that it's completely fuckin' okay that you don't want to share with me. I'm not bothered or offended, so don't worry about that. I just hope that you know I'm always here too."

Arin smiles a little, wiping his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. "Thanks," he murmurs, pulling up his hair into a ponytail as Dan stands up and stretches, and Arin's eyes fall to the exposed, slightly illuminated area of Dan's tummy for only a second, but then he stands up too, with Dan's help. "I really appreciate it. I'm... I'm gonna try to stop feeling so fuckin' down about things. Maybe I'll start looking at the bright side and start feeling better."

"I'm glad, big cat, and I hope you do. I like it when you're happy."

There's something in his eyes that Arin can't place- the younger finds himself flushing, and the two leave the office together, making sure to shut down all the lights before heading outside. Arin fumbles with his keys and unlocks his car door as Dan heads over to his own.

"I'll see you tomorrow, man," Arin says softly, giving a slight wave. "Drive safe."

"You too." Dan grins at him before getting into the vehicle, starting it up and quickly pulling out and onto the road, heading off into the direction of his house. Arin does the same, heading off towards his own house in the dark.

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