I can barely contain my excitement as I walk in the room. Hermione stands in the center, smiling at me. "You must be Sarah." She says, and I nod.

Hermione walks over to a table, grabbing a small box. A single button sits on top, and two wires extend from the sides.

"You ready to enter Dess's mind?" Hermione asks, connecting one wire to her arm and another to mine.

I nod once again, and she presses the button. Without warning, I am shoved into a tunnel of white, which fades to a light purple. The purple quickly snaps to pitch black. For a second, I wonder if I am dead.

A picture slowly comes into view. Hermione and I are standing on a narrow strip of purple. A group of Desses stand at the front, looking rather stressed.

The rest of the room is divided by the stripe, red on one side and blue on the other. Shouting can be heard from the red side, and an army of Desses are marching along.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks! Smash the bottles and burn the corks!" The Dess, who I assumed was the leader, sang out threateningly. "Chip the glasses and crack the plates..."

"THAT'S WHAT BILBO BAGGINS HATES!" The rest of the army shouts.

Hermione sighs. "Did you really turn that into a war song?" She asks the leader.

Warrior Dess nods. "Don't bother asking. We ain't gonna stop. We have a target, and we're gonna see that it's destroyed."

A Dess from the purple section, Common Sense, strides over. "Please, forgive us." She pleads. "Dess is undergoing a bit of fangirl turmoil."

I suddenly hear a crash, and a giant...thing bursts into the room. There is fire in her eyes, and she looks set to kill.

"Really? FANGIRL HULK DESS?" Hermione screams. "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK!"

Warrior Dess shrugs. "Hey, we ain't in control. At least, not yet." A grin spreads across her face, and with a loud battle cry, she and the other warrior Desses make tbeir charge into the purple section.

Hermione grabs my arm, pulling me away. "Come on, we need to get somewhere safer!" With that, I am tugged into the blue section.

The first thing I notice is a Dess sitting on the floor, sobbing into her knees. I crouch down. "Hey, are you okay?"

She looks up, her face red. "NO." she screams, and resumes her crying. I back away slowly, afraid of upsetting her more.

As we venture along, I see Desses running around frantically. "SEARCH IT! SEARCH IT!" One screams, heading towards the purple.

"No!" Common Sense yells. "And no, Frantic Idea, we're not going to move half of the population to Canada!"

Another Dess runs past, her arms full of who-knows-what. "WHERE ARE WE SHIPPING THESE TO?"

Common Sense sighs. "NOWHERE! We are not going to do anything! THINGS ARE ALREADY BEING TAKEN CARE OF!"

"But what if-" Another Dess starts.

Common Sense groans, and then turns to us. "I'm really sorry, but you're going to have to leave. We need to stop Fangirl Hulk and get the Emotional and the Stressing Mes under control."

"Oh, it's fine." Hermione speaks casually. "If this is anything like the last two times this has happened, it'll blow over fast."

"I'm not so sure, but I hope so." Common Sense gives us a weak grin.

"Good luck!" Hermione says. She presses the button again, and I'm going back out through the tunnel.

Jeez, Dess is complicated.