Merry and Pippin

Scene: Gondor, complete with various Christmas decorations

Merry: *going about everyday business, walking around, eating an apple*

Pippin: *yelling* MERRY!! I'M BEING ATTACKED!!! HELP!

Merry: Not again... *runs over*

Wild Dess: *tackling Pippin, trying to grab his candy canes*

Pippin: It won't stop!! Where did this thing come from?

Merry: Oh, this must be one of those wild Desses that Aragorn told us about. *pulls out a replica of the Evenstar* Go get it, Dessy! *throws it*

Dess: *squeaks and runs after it*

Pippin: *stands up* ...where exactly did you get that?

Merry: That's not important. Now, come on, we've got to get her before she destroys Gondor...

Aragorn: *off in the distance* Wha- PIPPIN! MERRY! WHERE DID YOU GET A DESS FROM?!

Pippin: Oh no... SORRY!

Merry: *sighs* Let's go after her...

Later...

Legolas:  ...I don't know what this is, or how it got here, but please get it under control.

Dess: *in a tree, batting his hair*

Merry: *lures the Dess down with a candy cane* Sorry about that, Pippin decided to adopt a Dess.

Pippin: I decided nothing! She came out of nowhere and attacked me!

Merry: Either way, w-

Pippin: But she is kinda cute...

Merry: We need to-

Pippin: MERRY CAN WE KEEP HER??

Legolas: I am NOT a part of this. *walks off*

Dess: *starts following him*

Merry: No no no. *pulls Dess back* You're staying with us.

Pippin: YAAAAAAAAY!!

Dess: YEHHHAYYY!

Merry: Did...did she just YAY?

Pippin: *sniffs* Those fangirls...they grow up so fast...

Dess: *squeaks*

Merry: You know what? I give up on both of you. Just...go ahead. Keep her. I have given up on trying to protest.

Pippin: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!! DESSY, YOU CAN STAY WITH US FOREVER!!

Dess: YEHHHAYYY!

Merry: I swear, if she picks up on anything else...

And they lived happily forever (with a significant lack of candy canes and cheese) with their Dess.

Legolas and Thranduil

Legolas: ADAAAAAA

Thranduil: I was right in the middle of my 3:07 fabulousness session, what do you want?

Legolas: *points to Dess clinging on his leg* I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, OR WHERE IT CAME FROM, BUT GET IT OFF.

Thranduil: Ah, yes, I believe that is a wild Dess. I've heard that those grow up to be quite fabulous creatures.

Legolas: IT WON'T GET OFF. WHY IS IT ON ME.

Thranduil: *sips tea* Fangirls are like that. Now, I need to get back to looking down on the peasants. Watch out for her now. *fabulously strides off*

Legolas: *looks down at Dess* I hope you have a good reason for this.

Dess: *squeaks*

Legolas: *shakes leg* Off.

Dess: *clings tighter*

Legolas: *sighs* I'm stuck with you now, aren't I?

Dess: *smiles*

Legolas: ...fine. Now, what the heck do you eat?

Dess: ...

Legolas: *holds out a few raspberries*

Dess: AEEEE *jumps up and eats them*

Legolas: Oh, you like these? *grins*

Dess: *squeals*

Legolas: *tosses a few raspberries across the room* THERE'S MORE IN THE GARDENS!

Dess: *runs after the raspberries*

Thranduil: *fabulously walks back in* LEGOLAS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FABULOUS PET?

Legolas: She wouldn't get off of me!

Thranduil: *flips hair* You can't just let a Dess loose in the gardens. She'll eat everything! *walks over to the Dess* *picks her up* *hands her to Legolas*

Dess: *starts eating his hair*

Legolas: ...

Thranduil: Be good, now. *fabulously walks off*

Legolas: ADA WAIIIIIIIT

Dess: *squeaks*

Legolas eventually accepted the Dess's fangirl nature, and she lived in Mirkwood until she was old enough to be set free, an event in which Legolas cried (but denies it). The Dess now lives among the forest, eating raspberries and fangirling over the occasional passerby.

Sam, Dean, and Cas

Sam: *comes in carrying basket* Umm... Dean?

Dean: Please don't tell me that you got a puppy.

Sam: Better! *grins* I got a Dess!!

Dean: What the heck is a Dess!

Sam: Honestly, I'm not sure. She just kinda... appeared.

Dean: *groans* Great. Bring an unknown creature in to live with us. THAT definitely won't get us killed.

Sam: Oh, she's a breed of fangirl. She's harmless.

Dean: Harmless? Aren't fangirls the ones who follow us around everywhere and scream whenever we move?

Sam: Yes, but...

Castiel: *suddenly appears* Hello-

Dess: *squeaks*

Castiel: ...

Dean: SEE? IT'S DOING THAT SCREAM! SHE'LL KILL US ALL!

Sam: Relax, she-

Dess: *jumps out of the box and lands on Castiel* *squeaks*

Castiel: *freezes*

Dean: SHE'S ATTACKING HIM! *stands up*

Sam: Woah woah woah, everyone CALM DOWN...

Dess: *starts batting at Castiel's trenchcoat*

Castiel: *starts trying to back away*

Sam: See? She's just curious. She may be a fangirl, but she's pretty young.

Dess: *squeaks* *continues playing with the trenchcoat*

Castiel: Can...will she stop? She is making me very uncomfortable... I...I think I need to leave. *poofs out*

Dean: See? She drove Cas away!

Sam: *sighs* Fine... I'll go drop her off with someone else.

Dess: *squeaks repeatedly* *paws at Sam*

Sam: *picks up the Dess* Aww, she doesn't want to leave!

Dean: No. We're not keeping it.

Sam: *makes puppy eyes*

Dess: *makes puppy eyes*

Dean: AHH NO DON'T TELL ME SHE CAN DO IT TOO!!

Sam and Dess: *continue making puppy eyes*

Dean: I GIVE UP

Dess eventually learned how to hunt with Sam and Dean, and Dean eventually learned to accept her. Castiel got used to Dess clinging to him whenever he was around, and watched her when Sam and Dean weren't there. Even after she was released into the wild, the Dess would often meet up with them.

THE END

So, anyone else you'd like to see with a Dess?

Oh, and HAPPY YESTARË!!