Dess: *playing ukulele* Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

Jeff: DESS! WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN??? 

Canty: and when did you get a ukulele?

Dess: For Christmas??? And come on, it's not like I haven't updated in two months. *checks my Wattpad book list* oh...well...um...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jeff, Canty, Sockmuffin, Terry, Sue, and Jelly: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Dess: Well, since I'M SUCH A GOOD PERSON, I got you all presents!

Narrator: Dess had spent most of her Christmas break eating, selling her soul to Marvel, making last-minute presents for her family because she is very broke, playing various instruments, and forgetting about ILP entirely.

Dess: Hey! Stop that!

Narrator: In fact, she only used her power as the author to suddenly make gifts for Jeff and Enemies appear.

Dess: stOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL

Narrator: I will once you write that 4-month overdue closing ceremony for the ILP Olympics.

Jeff: And something about Halloween! I love Halloween, I get an excuse to chase after people and try to eat them.

Sue: And Thanksgiving! I WANNA MOW SOME TURKEY

Dess: *laughs nervously* well...JUST TAKE YOUR PRESENTS

Jeff: Ooh, I got...a pack of freshly sharpened knives!

Dess: WHAT? I didn't put that in there!

Narrator: I did. Just trying to give you some motivation. :)

Jeff: How do you pronounce :) ?

Jelly: The same way you pronounce (: , but with different emphasis.

Dess: MOVING ON! Terry, the next one is for you!

Terry: *opens the box and a flash of light bursts out* Is this...a Unismaug???

Sue: I GOT ONE TOO!

Jelly: ME TOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sockmuffin! ME TOO! COME, UNISMAUG, HELP ME SET FIRE TO THE EARTH!

Canty: and I set fiiiiiiiiiire to the raiiiiiiiin

Jeff: Watched it burn as I touched your face

Canty: Well, it burned while I cried because I DIDN'T GET A PRESENT

Terry: Did you get a past? Or a future?

*crickets chirp*

Terry: No one appreciates me...

Dess: Don't worry, Canty, I got you something too.

Canty: It's...a scarf? Can cantaloupes wear scarves?

Dess: They can if they try.

Canty: ...okay?

Dess: Alright, now that everyone has a present, WHO WANTS TO SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS?!!??!

Jeff: Not me.

Canty: Definitely not.

Terry: I'd really rather ride my Unismaug...

Sue: Nope

Sockmuffin: lol no

Jelly: I'm good thanks

Narrator: Dess was very sad that no one wanted to sing Christmas carols with her-

Dess: SHUT UP

Narrator: -but everyone knew that she was going to retreat into her room and play ukulele for two hours straight.

Dess: More like two hours BI am I right???

*crickets chirp*

Dess: No one appreciates me...

------------

Failed celebrations with Jeff and Enemies aside, Merry Christmas to all of you lovely meepleepers!!! (those of you who are still here because I'm a horrible person who never updates whoops)

Well, hopefully I'll be able to make a huge holiday lump of everything I've missed, just let me know what fandoms (and/or ships) you'd like in it! (preferably from the list on my profile because I don't want to screw up any fandom I don't know and make y'all suffer)