"Ya' know you look pretty cute in my clothes."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Saturday morning and Angus and I were on our way to the studio. No one was there, but Angus thought he ought to return the guitar he snatched. With the keys jingling in his pocket we started our trek. Despite the sun being out and the temperature being a nice twenty degrees, I decided going out in my dress wasn't suitable. Angus was kind enough to lend me more of his clothes but not before making a cheeky remark. "You could jus' wear the nightgown, ya' know," he suggested with a shrug. "I wouldn't mind."

In response I changed in front of him, having the last laugh at his bright pink cheeks. 

Angus and I were holding hands the entire way. I wanted to savour every moment we had left, every touch of his hands. Less than two weeks and he'd be gone. They'd all be gone. Maude and I would have to make a plan to say goodbye to them. We'd still be here while they were on the other side of the world. 

While perhaps expecting a few more cigarette butts to litter the footpath, we weren't expecting the door to be ajar when we got there. Angus and I shared a look before he slowly pushed it open. "Hello?" he called. No answer. He walked inside first and quietly handed me the keys. I followed him in. It was dark and cold. "Someone here?" Still no answer. Angus whispered to me. "There's not supposed to be anyone here today."

"Last minute touch ups?" I suggested. 

"Hm. I dunno if they wouldn't tell us." Angus' eyes stared at the creaky stairs as if someone would appear at the top. "They'd call Mal or me or someone..." We stood together watching. "I'll go up an' put this back. You stay here."

"What if it's someone dangerous?" I asked getting a little afraid. Angus readjusted the keys in my hand.

"Use these," he said. "It's not much but it's somethin'. He'll have to get past me first anyway."

"And what are you gonna do?" I asked. He grinned. 

"I'll jus'....bash him over the head with this," he said holding up the guitar case.  

"I don't want you going alone." Angus stepped up to me and kissed my forehead.

"Love, I've fought on the streets." He smiled wide. "I'll be alright." He made for the stairs. "You stay down here unless I say otherwise."

I waited for him, suddenly scared out of my mind. Logically the only ones who had keys to the place were the higher ups. There were backups but Angus had to steal this set, and he knew where they were kept. That didn't mean whoever broke in didn't kick the door open. But what would they want from a music studio? Unless they knew what band frequented it. I remembered what the man said about whoever stole Ang's guitar having a lot of money if he sold it. Of course it was Angus himself....but someone could have seen one of the band come in and out and know if he could prove the instruments in here were of value, he'd have his rent paid. 

Or he could kidnap Angus himself....

I jumped about a mile when I heard voices, the horrible thought still fresh in my mind. Gripping the keys in my sweaty hand I crept towards the stairs. The voices weren't shouting but they were almost loud enough to make out some of the words. 

"What the hell are ya' doin'?"

I couldn't hear the response. Angus raised his voice a little. 

"What the hell are ya' doin'?"

"I'm not doin' anything!"

Whose voice was that? I listened a bit closer. 

"What the fuck is that on the table then?"

"It's nothin'."

"The fuck it's nothin', Phil."

Phil. What was he doing here? And how did he get an extra key to the place? The entire crew must have gotten maps to the backups. 

Knowing Angus and I weren't in any danger I went up the stairs. Angus was standing in the middle of the room, his back facing me. Sitting in the corner with a beer in his hand was Phil. Neither one noticed me yet. 

Angus tried to keep his voice level. "How long's this been goin' on?"

"Just a month or two," Phil said. "It's not even that much, you're actin' like I smoked a rock."

Angus gestured to the table. "That's a lot of fuckin' coke--"

"An' what do you know? You don't know how much is too much!" I glanced at the table near Phil. There was a little plastic bag, open, next to a small line of white powder. I recognised it from The Palace; a booth in the back had been experimenting. I didn't know how much was too much either, but it looked like an awful lot. 

"You can't be takin' shit if it's messin' with work--"

"Like you're a fuckin' saint, Angus," Phil spat. He had that tired and sick look on his face again. "You smoke like a fuckin' chimney, you're puttin' shit in your fuckin' lungs--"

"It's not the same fuckin' thing!" Angus yelled. Phil turned away from him, taking a drink. "An' it ain't jus' work, it's you! Look at you!" Phil sighed and clenched his fist. 

"Look at the fuckin' table," Phil said. "Does it look like I took any of this shit to you?"

"Why's it cut like that?" Phil opened his mouth to answer then saw me. Angus turned around to follow his gaze and sighed, crossing his arms. "Come on, Phil, why's it cut like that."

"Thought about it," he mumbled. "Had it all set up an' then..." Phil ran his hand over his face. "I jus' didn't do it, okay? So you can quit scoldin' me."

"Is this about last year?" Angus asked pacing the floor. Phil  avoided Angus' eyes which I'm sure were glowing right now. He looked at me instead. "We know you had a bit of trouble with the tour an' all--"

"I'm fuckin' fine now, alright? I took Mal's advice, I talked to someone, I'm over it. I'm better," he said. 

"This is better?" Angus asked waving a hand at him. "You look like fuckin' shit."

"Thanks," Phil muttered.

I stood off to the side keeping quiet. This whole time I thought Phil had been sick....he'd been sicker than I realised. Whether or not he had it under control, I didn't know. But it wasn't looking too good and it had me worried. Angus stared at Phil while Phil kept his eyes glued to the floor. 

"You still talkin' to someone?" Angus asked.

Phil sniffed. "No."

"Maybe you oughta..."

"Maybe you oughta mind your own fuckin' business," he snapped.

"Our job is my business, my band mate is my business, my--"

"My personal life is not your fuckin' business, Angus, fuck off."

Angus sighed and almost threw his guitar case to the floor. I watched him walk toward the stairs before he stopped and looked at me. "You fuckin' talk to him, I'm headin' out."

As he left me with Phil I wondered if he were going to wait outside or just head home. I could have followed him. But when I looked down at Phil something pulled me forward and I sat down next to him. The keys I was holding dropped to the floor. I wouldn't need them. 

I didn't know what to say. I had no experience with drugs. Sure, I took a few too many benadryl tablets last year and other various medicines but it hardly seemed to compare with a burgeoning cocaine misuse. Phil didn't say anything either. Just looked at the floor and drank. I flinched when I heard the door slam. 

Minutes passed. Neither of us even looking at each other. The cocaine sat there on the little table. I had never seen so much up close. The idea of putting that anywhere near my nose had me on edge. I couldn't even drink too much tea without levitating. Phil sighed and I sneaked a lightning glance. He looked worse up close. 

Much worse. 

"Listen, kid...." he started. I listened. "Have you ever....have you ever felt like....the world....life....an' everything in it....was jus' too much?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest. "Every day," I said.

**********

I closed the front door behind me, leaving Phil alone upstairs. Against all my wishes to stay with him and make sure he was okay, he suggested I go. He wanted to be alone. Despite the reassuring smile he managed to give me, I was still worried. 

Angus was leaning against the building smoking a cigarette. We made eye contact and I stood next to him. 

Both of us kept silent too. 

Warm sunshine couldn't make us smile. The light wind tried and failed and a passing dog made his best attempt. As soon as his cigarette was finished Angus dropped it on the ground and stepped on it with his heel, immediately pulling out another one. He lit it and took an extra long drag. 

"Ya' know...." he said quietly. "that's one of my best friends in there..."