THIRTY FOUR. SUFFER DOES THE WOLF,
CRAWLING TO THEE

      Mia probably threw her knife into the next tree twenty times before her arm started to hurt. Each time, she focused harder on hitting the exact spot where she threw. Each time, she threw harder until her shoulder almost popped out. She needed something to release her anger on. The poor tree just so happened to be the one thing that didn't talk to her.

The what was excruciating. Mia was sweating through her white shirt, a pool of sweat on her back from where the sun was shining. She tucked her greasy hair behind her ears, hating the feeling of the basically wet strands. She was tired, hungry, and feeble. But she wouldn't dare admit any of that out loud. They had bigger problems than how she was feeling.

Walking around aimlessly in the woods, she thought she heard the distinct sound of her brother's laugh and when she blinked, she thought she saw them running through the trees, the ghost of their younger selves following her like a shadow. She tried not to swell on her sadness. She tried to think positively on the fact that they could have a new home, a new beginning. There was a devil and angel sitting on her shoulders, whispering different things in her ears.

She heard the sound of static and Mia looked over, seeing Carol again. The walkie talkie was held to her mouth. "We're here," she answered Rick, not yet seeing her.

Mia listened carefully, tucking fallen strands of hair behind her ear.

"We made it. . .its gone," Rick uttered before the line was cut, his sentencing haunting.

Her eyes fluttered shut and a disheartened sigh escaped her lips.

Carol slowly turned around and she paused upon seeing the young girl standing there discouraged. She spoke after several minutes of silence, "don't give up just yet. We'll figure something out."

Mia opened her eyes, revealing the tears that refused to fall. "What's the point?" She said quietly, her voice full of defeat.

"Don't think like that."

They risked everything driving all the way to Virginia. They were so far from home. They risked everything by touring the word of a boy they didn't know, a boy who was with Beth all this time and now she was dead. It was all pointless. "I can't think any other way," she uttered, her shoulders slumped over, and she walked off, dragging her tired feet through the woods.

She sat down in a shaded area, beams of sunlight peaking through the leaves, but it was still so hot. Mia slumped against the tree, her legs stretched in front of her. She'd been in this position before, a young girl of fourteen all alone with nothing but her thoughts and images of her dead family following her. Mia eyed the faded scars on her wrists, reminders of the girl she used to be and the person she didn't want to be anymore. She's just a child. Just a girl. She shouldn't be carrying so much pain but every part of being body held a different kind hurt. Her chest was a wall of fire, her soul a wall of thorns. Her heart was a wall of storm clouds. Her hands were stained red, not even the river water able to wash away what she'd been through and what she had done. This was her life. This was her life.

The blade of the knife she held close to her shined from the sun, bringing back the familiarity of the tree bark she once used to cut her skin, and Mia's stomach began to hurt.

The crunching leaves pulled her back to reality and she looked up, Carol now standing in front of her with the same look of distraught she wore just moments ago. "Something's happened," Mia uttered.

"It's Tyreese. He's dead."

Oh Sasha. . .

Mia wasn't sure she could handle another funeral. The depressive nature from everybody when they were already so drained gave the worst headache. Tyreese was a good man, a protective friend, a loving brother. They were all in shock by how quickly his death came. Sasha didn't even get to say goodbye, officially making her a member of the dead siblings club.

She felt terrible for her. Her stomach hurt to think about everything the woman had been through in a short period of time. She lost her love and now she lost her brother. It solidified even more that any of them could die at any given time. The inevitable.

Mia didn't know how to feel about the decision to continue to DC. In fact, she was angry. Angry that Rick would even risk taking them to Washington knowing there was most likely nothing there. Eugene lied to them. He took away her justice. There wasn't a cure. There was nothing.

The first vehicle they traveled in broke down, meaning they had to walk until they found another one. Mia ventured off into the woods with the others, her knife and a gun Abraham gave her on her shoulder. Her main priority was finding water and food, which was difficult seeing as how it was so hot outside, Mia wouldn't have been shocked if all the water was dried up.

"Hey," Glenn spoke when he walked up beside her.

"Hey," she said back quietly, still looking around them.

He stared at her with a frown. "I'm really worried about you. You're shutting down on us."

"I'm not shutting down. I'm trying to stay alive," Mia responded snappily, not meaning to. She was just so tired.

He stopped her. "Hey, I get that," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "But Mia, all that we have is each other. There's nothing out here but us. We need you, okay? Please, don't shut us out."

Mia didn't have the strength to explain to Glenn why she was acting the way she did. She could tell him anything, but not this. This was a secret she held deeply within herself. It hurt her to even think about. The tomb inside her wouldn't close. "I'm not shutting you out, Glenn. I would never do that," she spoke slowly while meeting his eyes, trying to convince him.

The man smiled and she felt guilty.

She continued to walk around the woods. High and low, there wasn't any food around. It was just too hot. They were in the middle of nowhere. There would be no canned foods around. If they couldn't find food, they needed to find water. Mia started to rack her brain.

When the sickness started to spread around the world, her father tapped into all of his senses to protect his children. He was a military man. Riley knew everything about how to survive out in the open world, how to camp, how to keep himself hidden, how to gather food and water when he didn't have any other resources. Remember Mia. Remember. Remember—

She almost gasped. Mia ran to the closest tree. Taking out her knife, she tug the tip of it into the tree bark. She pressed down and began to twist the blade, grunting in the process. "Please work," she whispered to herself. Mia continued to twist the knife around and she saw it make an indention in the tree. She kept comping until the knife made a small hole. "Okay, okay," she said and quickly reached into her bag for an empty water bottle. Then she used her blade to carve an x, creating a lip in the bark. "Come on. Come on. Come on."

A few seconds later, water started leak out of the tree and Mia gasped. "Yes!" She cheered with a happy laugh. "Oh my god!"

Apparently she too loud because somebody yelled her name. "Mia!" It was Glenn. He hadn't wondered off too far from her. "Mia, what's wrong?"

The young girl's smile stretched across her face as she watched the water pour into the bottle. She looked over her shoulder and saw his concerned look. "I have an idea!"

All of their water bottles were filled. It was spring which meant the sap was actively flowing through the trees. "You are officially my new best friend," Rosita declared brightly and took a long swig of water from her bottle.

Everybody followed swiftly, everybody feeling the days worth of dehydration. "Mia, where'd you learn how to do that?" Rick asked with Judith on his hip.

"My dad was in the military before I was born. When the outbreak started, he taught me and my brother a lot of what he remembered. Y'know, just in case," she informed sheepishly, taking small sips of water.

"Definitely came in handy," Daryl mumbled, staring off into the woods while drinking his water. Just like her, he'd been shutting himself down ever since Beth, her death affecting him almost a much as Maggie.

Mia heard her cry a lot. She was always alone, not wanting people to see her break, but Mia always heard her. Maggie was a strong woman. She was gentle. But even the gentlest of people have their breaking points and losing Beth definitely pushed her over the edge. To see a woman as strong as Maggie crumble from the pressure of the world they lived in made her feel more guilty because Glenn was right, she was shutting them out. She shut them out because she was scared.

They continued on foot for miles and miles until they found another means of transportation. Unfortunately, that vehicle also ran out of gas, putting them on their feet again. Having fresh water in her system made her feel less dizzy and her vision cleared a lot, though she was still tired. The early morning to mid day sun was cruel to them. Mia continuously wiped sweat off of her face and neck, fanning herself occasionally. That's all there was: walking for hours, most of the time in complete silence. Some were hopeful, others were not. She wasn't hopeful.

Mia heard the sound of shoes scuffing on the hot pavement. Then from the corner of her eye, she saw a tall figure and she looked up, seeing that it was Noah. "You're Mia, right?" He spoke to her first.

"Uhh, yeah," she answered with a slight nod. Her lips formed a thin smile. "Hi."

"Hi," he said awkwardly. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself sooner. Kinda didn't have the chance. . ."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's okay." He had to be Beth's age if not older, Mia determined. He was very tall and lanky, or maybe she was just really short. "I'm sorry this didn't work out for you, y'know, going back home," Mia tried to muster up a conversation, which was difficult considering she was so tired, she really didn't feel like talking.

A sad look glazed his face. "Yeah, that was rough. I'm sorry about your friend. Well, friends," Noah said, also awkward. "I liked Beth. She was really nice."

She nodded, smiling lightly. "She was great. I miss her a lot," Mia muttered, eyes trailing to her worn out boots. She cleared her throat. "Michonne told me you tried everything to save Tyreese. So thank you."

The older boy half smiled. Noah looked ahead of him and licked his lips, feeling another wave of sadness. "I had to kill my brother," he admitted. "Given he was already dead, but, I actually killed him. Now they're all gone."

Mia frowned as she listened. "All of your family?" She said lightly.

"My mother and two little twin brothers."

A smile of remembrance appeared on her lips. It was silent as they continued to trudge down the empty street. "I was a twin," Mia spoke again, Noah looking down at her. The smile grew an inch or two. "I had a twin brother, Lucas. He was older, which made a lot of sense if you knew us."

"What happened to him?"

She brought her hand up and touched the L shaped necklace around her neck, toying with the letter. "He was bit while getting me this," she uttered and showed him the necklace. "I had to kill him. It had to be me. He was too good to become one of those things."

There was another silence and Noah watched her face change. Her hand wrapped around her necklace tightened. Her lips pouted slightly like she wanted to cry but she didn't. "I'm really sorry."

She looked up at him again, nodding lightly. "I'm sorry, too."

Trailing behind them, Carl watched the two talk, it being their first interaction since Nosh joined their group. The teenage boy couldn't stop looking between them, an odd feeling twisting in his stomach. She could hardly talk to him and say she was taking to Noah. She was hesitant around him all of a sudden. It ate at him to know she was hurting and it hurt even more to know that she couldn't express it.

The world was hardening them. Two teenage kids, once soft and innocent, now brittle boned and blood covered clothes. How I wish we could've met as kids. You would've loved the softer me.

"If you stare any harder, your eyes will dry out."

Carl blinked rapidly to see Maggie smirking at him. "I'm not staring," he muttered and looked down at his boots.

She hummed unconvincingly. "You know I was a fifteen year old kid too once?"

"Really?" He responded sarcastically, smiling when she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, really. . .y'know, I gave her advice some time ago when she couldn't stop thinking about you,"

Carl hid the smile he felt coming on.

"And I told you not to be afraid of saying how she feels because you never know when you'll get the next chance," Maggie resurfaced. She put a quick hand on the boy's shoulder. "Life's too short not to tell her how you feel, Carl."

He felt her words deep in his soul. Carl looked ahead of him again and Mia glanced over her shoulder, dancing his eye. He smiled at her, the gesture faint but it was apparent, and he watched the corner of her lip twitch. It was all she could muster up before she looked away from him.

Am I walking towards something that I should be running away from? I'm a boy growing up in a broken world and I still recognize what I feel for you is love. The wounded recognizes the wounded, I recognize your hurt because I've lived it. I am living in. I've made mistakes. So have you. I want to be a better man. A better son. A better person for you to love. I love you. I love you. I love you.