NINETEEN. HEART TO HEART

      Mia missed Maggie. She missed everyone, really, but her heart hurt more when she thought of Maggie Rhee, so much that it hurt to breathe. She saved her life. Have her another chance to live, to be a kid. Maybe she would see her in another life. If this one wasn't enough, there would be so much time on the other side. A better place, a safer place where they could be together. Where Mia could be with everyone.

Carl's mood was still down at the mention of his baby sister. Though the talk she had with him made him feel slightly better, she could see that he was upset. She hoped the run they would be going on with Michonne would somehow lift his spirits.

She walked into his room and saw him putting his hat on. "Are you ready?" She spoke.

Carl glanced at her and nodded, not saying a word. A frown threaten to appear on her lips but she pushed it back and gave him a sad smile. The two of them walked down the stairs to meet with Michonne.

"How long you think you'll be?" Rick asked after the walked outside.

"Fill a couple bags, shouldn't be too long." Michonne answered.

He checked his watch. "It's 8:15 now." He mentioned.

"We'll be back by noon."

Rick nodded and looked at the teens. "All right, you follow her lead. You understand?" He told them.

He handed the gun to Carl. The son took it with no words. Rick noticed something was wrong. "Hey. Everything okay?" He spoke quietly.

Carl nodded his pain off. "Yeah, I'm just. . . hungry." He partially lied.

Mia nodded with a hum. "I felt that."

Rick looked around them and patted Carl on the back. "All right, I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to stay with you?" She asked the man, a small part of her afraid of leaving him alone while they were gone.

He cracked a smile and put his hand on her shoulder. "I'll be just fine, Mia. Thank you for taking care of me."

She blushed shyly and smiled back. She walked with Michonne and Carl down the empty street. She glanced at him occasionally, looking for any sign of joy in his eyes. But who was she kidding? Carl couldn't remember the last time he felt joy. He only ever felt it when he was around his loved ones and how he was worried the rest of them were dead.

They scoped out an abandoned house. Mia's hand clutched the strap of her bag tightly while the other brushed against the walls as she walked down the hallway. She thought about the family that once lived there. Did they have children? Were they a big family? A happy one?

She walked into a room and could immediately see it was once a child's room. A small bed with a baby pink bed comforter. Baby pink and white pillows. Star stickers were placed on the ceiling above. Coloring books and crayons were scattered on the carpeted floor. A half empty toy chest was placed in the corner.

Her lip quivered uncontrollably as she looked around. Paris's room was almost the same. She, too, had star stickers on her ceiling. They helped her fall asleep.

"You okay?"

She turned around quickly and saw Carl standing in the doorway, his eyes full of concern. She concealed her agony with a smile. "I should be asking you that."

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

He was lying but Mia didn't blame him. She pointed to the stars on the ceiling. "Paris had stars on her ceiling.  They glowed at night. Helped her sleep."

Carl smiled softly at the information. "She sounds great."

He spoke of her in present tense. He'd never know how much that meant to her. "Really great. She could be annoying at times but she was my best friend."

He walked further into the room.  He glanced around as well. She saw the way his eyes dimmed. The way his sweet face fell into sadness. "I miss her." He uttered.

Mia frowned. "I'm sorry.  I was growing attached to her too, I think."

Carl grinned and looked her way, seeing her standing in front of him. "You were good with her. I think she really liked you."

"Most people do."

They laughed. Mia missed hearing his laugh.

Their sacks were full by the time they finished raiding the house. It was a silent walk to the next home. Michonne glanced at Carl, who still was yet to speak. "Find anything good? Candy bars? Comic books?" She spoke.

But Carl didn't respond. He only stared ahead.

"Crazy Cheese?"

That got his attention. "Huh?"

Michonne reached into the duffel bag and pulled out a can of spray cheese. "Bam, Crazy Cheese! Found it still sealed and everything. Now I'll be nice and let you have the first pull. Mia can go second."

Mia cracked a grin.

"No, thanks."

Michonne frowned slightly. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine." Carl lied.

"You don't seem fine."

Carl paused. The two girls waited for a reply. Mia found herself holding in a breath. "I'm just tired."

A million different ways could be interpreted within those three words.

He took off walking again and Mia followed after him. She glanced at him occasionally but all she got was the side of his face. The girl constantly wondered about his life before the apocalypse. From what he described to her, he was a happy kid. He had no worry in the world of tragedy overtaking his youth. The brightness in his icy eyes seemed to dull and Mia wished to go back to the time where she could see the light in them.

Michonne jogged to catch up with them and she sprayed the yellow cheese on her mouth. The yellow food covered her face and she tried making the boy laugh. It didn't work but Mia attempted a smile. At least she was trying to make him smile.

"I'm sorry," she uttered when they turned a corner to another house. "I'm not very good at making boys your age laugh."

Mia nodded to make her feel better. "I thought it was funny."

"I was laughing," Carl said next, seemingly agreeing with her. ". . . Inside."

Michonne gave him a look and Mia breathed out a chuckle. She continued to knock on the door. "Toddlers find me funny. Two, three year olds,"

He furrowed his brows. "What do you mean toddlers?" He questioned.

The woman stopped knocking and faced them. "I had a three year old son. He happened to find me extremely funny," she informed.

Mia remembered the prison and a crying Michonne. She remembered the pain she felt from holding Judith as she cried. The heartbroken look on her face. She remembered because she related to the heartbreak. The pain of losing someone you love so much.

Yet Carl didn't seem to understand the moment they shared and he was curious to learn more. 

The three of them entered the house. Mia kept a firm grip on the weapon in her waistband. "We need food,  batteries, water, in that order." Michonne declared. 

"Why did you never tell me you had a kid?" Carl asked her, ignoring what she just said.

She shrugged, disregarding the question. 

"What was his name? Did you have any others? Were you married?"

Curious, curious boy.

Michonne finally looked at him. "Okay. I'll answer one question at a time, from both of you; one room at a time, and only after we've cleared it." She negotiated.

Mia glanced at Carl and he glanced at her. They both nodded. Michonne walked into the other room. "Did you know?" Carl asked her.

Mia titled her head. She didn't say anything but the look on her face made his eyes widen. "You knew?"

She shushed him quickly. "Yes, okay, I did. It's not an easy subject to talk about." She hissed in a quiet voice.

"I just wish she would've told me." He mumbled somberly.

Mia gave him a sad half smile. "Give her the benefit of the doubt. Losing someone you love is never easy to talk about."

Carl blinked a few times and looked at her again. "You talk about it with me."

The smile turned into a smirk. "Well, you're you. It's easy." She replied with a shrug.

She walked off to search the house. Carl stood there and grinned, his face heating up.

Mia managed to find a couple packs of batteries in an old drawer. She raided the kitchen cabinets and snatched cans of food and snack bars. She walked into the next room where Michonne stood. Carl followed behind her. "What was your son's name?"

"I said after," Michonne replied with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Mia grinned. "Technically, they're two separate rooms." She mentioned.

Carl nodded quickly. "Yeah, and we already cleared that one, so. . ."

Michonne let out a quiet sigh. "Andre. His name was Andre Anthony." She answered. The teens went silent. Despise glistened in her dark eyes. "Make sure there isn't a box of cookies hiding in there."

She walked into another room. Mia nudged Carl with her elbow and went her separate way to let them talk. She desperately wanted to know about Michonne's past like Carl did but she didn't want to intrude.

She wished she didn't have to sugarcoat her sadness. She spent the last three years of her life trying to build up some kind of skin so she wouldn't drop blood every time she brushed against something. The homesickness that invaded every corner of her mind and soul sent a sickly feeling to her stomach. Homesick for a place that no longer existed.

Mia's hand brushed against the white door of a room that looked like it belonged to a child. There were many baby books and toys. It was clean, surprisingly. She walked further into the room and saw Michonne standing in another. "Michonne?"

"Mia, don't—"

It was another room that belonged to a child. Bright pink and once lively. A room full of youthfulness and innocence. But that was gone now. Mia's heart dropped when she saw the bodies of a family lying on the beds in the room. They were full clothed and she could tell they were once beautiful but it was hard to tell behind their decayed and hollowed skin.

Tears fell down her face. Michonne grabbed the girl's arm. "Come on, Mia."

"Michonne? Mia?" Carl's voice broke out in the other room.

Michonne dragged her out of the room and closed the door behind them. Carl looked at them with concern. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," she answered but Mia couldn't form words. Her back was pressed again the door and more tears formed in her eyes.

"Mia?" He said, the concern building up when he saw her red and tear streaked face.

It was all too much. So much pain for someone so young. "I'm fine," she said just above a whisper. They didn't have time to dwell on her past.

Carl's face down casted again. "There's a baby in there?" He realized.

"It's a dog." Michonne quickly answered.

He slowly looked down at the floor in thought. "My dad let me name her," he started.

It was quiet after his pause. Mia wiped the tears from her face.

"Maybe—Maybe her and Andrea are together somewhere. And Paris. And Lucas," the blue eyed boy said, looking between them.

She let out a breathy laugh and her eyes clouded with tears again. She licked her lips. "Lucas will look after them. He was always good at it."

A sad smile formed on Michonne's face. She looked between the teenagers. "Come on. It's almost noon. Your dad will wonder where we are if we're late."

She walked out of the room and Mia stayed leaning on the pink door. Carl stood in front of her. He took a step closer to her. "I didn't know your family. But from what you've told me, I wish I did get to know them," he spoke softly. Kindly. Patiently.

Mia slowly smiled at him, a sorrowful look on her face that she tried masking with kindness. "They would have loved you. Especially Lucas. You two are basically the same person."

He cracked a grin. "Cause we like comics?"

"Because you protect the people you love."

Carl blinked a few times. He stared at her quietly, seeing how serious she was.

"Lucas was my best friend. He died for me so I could live for him. You can live for Judith. We can live for everyone. I promise you that she's in good hands."

Nobody knew each other like Mia and Carl knew each other. The pain they shared, the agony and guilt that invaded their souls, it would never wash away but they had each other. In a world that was so ugly and monstrous, it was a rare and beautiful thing to have someone to take your mind of it for at least a little while.