caffeine and codeine
mania and apathy
a burst of euphoria
crying myself to sleep

when can i regress to the mean
float on a straight line instead of flying above or sinking underneath

i play the victim at the start
bat my eyes and kiss your feet
in one blink my narcissism grabs you with it's teeth until you bleed like me

it's the worst of my curses
living on the outside
from the same soil my ego grows and self worth dies

amphetamines and chamomile tea
brain fog and clarity
i'm going to be famous someday
my existence means nothing

craving stability but it doesn't want me
emotions searching high and low for a home and it's an unrequited love story

i adore him with the remnants of my heart
his disposition attentive and sweet
this friday he's busy with family
i hate him, how could he abandon me?

i'm a hostage of extremes
they keep me locked inside
with no light from the windows or hope for a better life