It's weird how the beautiful things in life are also coincidentally the... worst. One, to some extent, is not achievable without maybe facing the other. For eg. dangerous risks are fun, but death isn't. Sugar is delicious, but diabetes isn't. Hoping to see the rainbow is nice, but bearing the rain isn't. Success is wanted, but hard work isn't. And yet, the idea of love is lovely, but heartbreak​ isn't.

Some of us go ahead and do most of them because, yolo. And then, there's people like me.

Too scared. Too much of little pussies to take a new challenge in life. Too used to their routines that the idea of something new is frightening.

That's why it burns my ears when I hear music, that I easily recognise, playing a little distance away from me. It's a song that I absolutely love.

'Play That Song', by Train.

My nonexistent heart squeezes as I hum the song in my head, with my eyes shut tightly. I recognise the voice singing it. It's Ace. One of the cool dudes from the boy band. He's their lead singer.

I imagine him in front of their usual formation in his red polo shirt and his black guitar in his hand. I imagine him strumming the guitar while moving his lips against the mic, delivering the lyrics. I imagine him giving the light looks to Theo behind his back, who's the drummer​. I imagine him smiling at the crazy audience in front of him. I imagine him constantly winking at the fangirls taking their shirts off for him in the corner. I imagine it all. I imagine his usual concerts that they do and how fun they are.

I imagine how I so desperately wanna be Ace.

"Cathryn? Are you awake?"

"No", I say, squeezing my eyes even harder as the song comes closer to the end.

"Oh. Ok." It's Jasmine's voice.

"WHY THE HELL DOES SHE FAINT SO MUCH!? GET HER UP!", Courtney shouts her lungs off right next to my ear and I punch her leg.

"Fainting, also called syncope, is a sudden, brief loss of consciousness and posture caused by decreased blood flow to the brain. Many different conditions can cause fainting. These include heart problems, seizures, low blood pressure-"

"What's her case, Callum?"

"Well-"

~"That's all you g0tta do."~

Before I hear what he has to say, I jump up from where I lay on the brown, wooden steps in the gymnasium, where we usually sit for basketball games, and start running towards the band who stand in the middle of it all.

They're highfiving eachother because they've successfully ended the song, and it sounded great. More than just great.

"Good job guys", I say, huffing because I'm out of breath, as I reach them. I stuff my hands in my pockets and smile. "That was some real dope shit."

Ace turns his head towards me and smiles.

"Thanks", Leo, the pianist, says while shaking his wild blonde hair out of it's ponytail.

Ace pulls the guitar strap off from his neck and comes to stand in front of me.

"Look who it is! The dead are finally back from the grave." He folds his palm into a fist and raises it to me casually. I give him a fist bump.

"You guys are just... so great", I say, walking straight ahead. He starts walking beside me.

"Hey it's not like that", he shrugs, "I've heard this girl's got some good stuff. Why don't you pick up the guitar again and... maybe hit the stage?", he stops walking, "you could easily pull it off Cathryn."

I turn to face him. "I don't know. I think I've lost it over the years really. Well, year and a half, precisely."

I lightly chuckle and look over his shoulder where the cheerleading team is practicing for the basketball match tomorrow. A dude throws Gwen in the air and unlike the other girls, she misses her move and falls back down.

She stomps around angrily and the music comes to a stop.

I shake my head.

"What?", Ace says, turning around to stand beside me, "they're pretty hot eh?"

I laugh. "Really Ace? I didn't know your taste was that bad."

He hits my shoulder lightly. "I especially like the blonde one. She's hella fine."

"That's Kylie", I say, scrunching my face, "she's got a boyfriend."

"YOU AREN'T DOING IT RIGHT GWEN. YOUR MOVES ARE ALL WRONG AND YOUR DANCE IS SLOPPY." A tiny little elf girl yells at Gwen, who literally looks like a sexy pornstar in that tiny cheerleading outfit.

"IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE DOING IT ANY BETTER THAN ME!" Gwen yells back.

"YOU'RE RUINING THE ENTIRE FORMATION. WHO THE HELL EVEN MADE YOU THE CHEER CAPTAIN?" Yells another girl.

"YEAH, I THINK KYLIE SHOULD BE THE CAPTAIN. SHE'D NAIL IT." Yells yet another girl, folding her arms across her chest for that extra dramatic effect.

"Go do whatever the fuck you want", Gwen says, pushing through the crowd of mad cheerleaders and stomping her way to the door. She rubs her face with her hand while lightly brushing her shoulder against mine, as she passes us. Ace and I snap our heads around to look at her. She raises both her middle fingers at the cheerleaders in the gymnasium before turning around and making the huge ass doors of the gymnasium fly open with a push.

The door opens, and as a pissed of Gwen leaves, a pissed off Kenny appears with a phone in his hand and muttering inaudible words. He looks up as Gwen passes him and sticks his tongue out. Gwen just rolls her eyes and the door quickly closes as me and Kenny make a tiny eye contact. His jaw unhinges and eyes bulge out when he sees me, and just like that, the door slams shut on his picture perfect face, glaring at me.

-_-

"Girl where the fuck have you been?", Kenny says, getting all up in my face and invading the acceptable limits of one's private space.

"Uh, actually, I don't remember." I shake my head and look beside me at a starstruck Ace, staring at Kenny.

"Ace?", I say.

"How do you do your makeup like that?" He raises his finger to touch Kenny's shocked face. Kenny scowls at him.

"Why you be touching me like I'm made out of glass boi?"

Ace backs up and shakes his head.

"ACE! MATE, HOW LONG YOU GONNA CHIT CHAT BABY BOY?" Someone yells from behind us and Ace shouts back, "COMING."

"I uh gotta go", he says to us before giving us a pursed lips smile and turning to me. "See you", he says and then runs off to where the rest of the band is packing up for the day.

I keep staring at his back as he runs.

"Girl. Don't tell me you're in love with another school sweetheart." Kenny looks at me. He rolls his eyeballs to the top of his head and stares at the ceiling, thinking about something. Then he starts mumbling random numbers while wiggling his fingers.

I fold my arms and stare at him lamely as he carries on with his usual drama. He looks at me and pouts. "That'd be the tenth boy you've fallen in love with this year Cath. And the tenth boy you ain't gonna date just because your pussy is still waiting for Logan to make an entry." He shakes his head. "That ain't gonna happen." He points to the right. "That boy is the headboy with a girlfriend." He points to the left. "And you're a useless troublemaker, with a shitty life."

"Good points Mr.Obvious", I snort.

"MOVE ON!" He closes his eyes. "Your vagina is gonna SHRINK if you don't date someone and keep waiting for Logan, that cute ass bitch to come and save it, girl. Move. On."

"AND A ONE AND TWO AND THREE. LET'S GOO!" The cheerleaders start yelling as practice starts up again.

"Wow", I say. "What?", Kenny says. "Kylie is the cheer captain now. See. There she is. In the front", I say. Kenny gasps and jumps up and down. "Is that why that bitch Gwen was so pissed out of her mind." I nod. "Uh-huh."

There's a light tap on my shoulder and I turn around.

"Jasmine?", I say, "Uh-hi."

She frowns at me. "Why are you acting so... weird."

I chuckle nervously. "Ha! Na-no. Me? Weird? Pffttt." I wave my hand dismissively.

"OH!", Kenny yells, turning around. "Is this the girl you had said was very weird and embarrassing? That she only wanted to be your friend for fame?" He looks at Jasmine, who is clearly not having it, and sticks out his hand for her to shake. "Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about how annoying you are."

"NO!", I yell. "I-I-I wasn't talking about her. Ever.", I give Kenny a death glare and smiling goofily, I point my finger at Jasmine. "I was talking about... Courtnn-n-nneeee-y", I stutter nervously as I move my finger right next to Jasmine happily.

Pause.

I force a smile on my face. "Ah! Uh-h-h-hi Courtney. Didn't, um, didn't see you there."

She folds her arms across her chest and taps her feet vigorously​. "Am I that annoying, Cath-ryn?"  You know they're mad when they take your actual name instead of the nickname.

I scoff. "What!? No! Aaaayyyeeee. I was talking about another Courtney, actually." I rub the back of my head. "Not you."

She rolls her eyes.

"I guess you learn something new everyday", Jasmine says, with a look on her face that says I-don't-care, but I sense a little sadness in her voice.

Them knowing about it wouldn't really have affected me a few days ago but after our heart to heart on the phone call the other day, I feel embarrassed. I lower my face in shame and stare at the ground.

"Anyways. We were here to give you your backpack. Take it." Courtney drops my bag on the floor and it thumps loudly. Some of my books start to peek out of it.

"C'mon Courtney. Let's go", Jasmine says. She turns around and flips her ponytail over her shoulder. Courtney nods and follows.

"W-w-why are you looking at me like t-that?"

I can feel the smoke emitting from my ears and feel my face turning hot.

No. I'm not blushing, sadly.

I'm...

"MAD!"

"Huh?", Kenny whines before I bury my right fist inside his contoured cheek.

He lands flat on the floor and the idiot literally spreads his arms out like a bird before hitting the ground.

"Why'd you hit me?", he says, his lips rubbing against the dirty tiles.

I stomp my foot on the small of his back and hold him there. "Why'd you tell her that?"

"Tell who, what?"

"Tell Jasmine... ALL THAT!?"

"Wait?", he twists his head around. "I wasn't supposed to?"

I growl in frustration and dig my foot further into his back. He screams in pain.

"I said that dumb shit years ago dude. That was before we were friends. UGH! You ruined a beginner friendship! It was a BABY!"

"Oh!", he lightly exclaims as I start contemplating life again.

Why dear God? Why me? Why always me?

"Can we go home now?", he sighs, "I've been looking for you everywhere girl!"

"That's your punishment", I say and kick the side of his stomach, "I ain't driving you home today."

"Ms.Hollister? Ms.Hollister is that you?"

"No", I say, shifting my leg aside and walking away from a beaten up Kenny lying on the floor.

"Oh don't lie to me like that miss", Ms.Becky, my Calculus teacher, gasps loudly as she approaches me. "Oh my! Oh my oh my! What are you doing Ms.Hollister? Are you crazy?"

She bends down and holds Kenny's hand. She helps him get up and picks our bags up for us too.

"Thank you Ms.Sara-"

"Becky", I correct him.

"Becky. Thanks Miss Becky. Only teachers can come to your rescue when your friends", he glares at me, "turn their backs on you for other people. Huh!"

I stick my tongue out at him.

"The pleasure is all mine Mr.Legend. And you Ms.Hollister, this behaviour is not acceptable at school." She throws my bag at me. I catch it and start zipping it up. "Meet me after Calculus tomorrow. We have things to discuss", she says.

"Sorry Ms.Becky. Won't happen again, I swear."

"Oh don't you swear at me!"

I scowl in confusion. "No Miss. I-I didn't-"

"Your behaviour is getting out of control miss. We really need to speak with your parents soon. And what are you two doing in school at this hour? Only the cheerleaders are allowed to practice on school premises right now. Out! NOW! OUT! BOTH OF YOU!"

Everyone in the gymnasium starts staring in our direction. "Geez calm down. We're going", I say and start walking towards the door.

I tighten my jaw and push the door open. Act casual Cathryn. It's not like everybody has suddenly stopped minding their own business and is staring at you and whispering about you. Because it is.

For some fucking reason, my luck gives up on me again and my right foot decides to stick itself in a dent in the tile beneath me. My leg bends abnormally before I flail my arms in the air, loose my grip on my bag and wait for the hard floor to swallow me in itself.

That doesn't happen.

I feel strong arms wrap around me and loose my shit. An undeniable urge fills my gut to wrap my arms around him too but, wouldn't that be too cheesy cuz I know exactly who he is?

Nah!

Do it if you dare Cathryn.

I raise my arms lightly and hook them around his waist which is covered by that unmistakably dark, navy blue fabric of the King of my wet dreams.

"So horny."

"Huh?", he says.

"Nothing", I quickly say and try to regain my balance.

I purposely loose it and stumble again.

"Woah! Careful there", he says, grabbing my waist even tighter, "You really love to fall, don't you?"

"Ya." Fall for you, that is.

He lets go of me when my feet feel like they can handle the ground again and sadly, I pull back from him too.

I look up at him. At his gorgeous face. He's not nearly as angry as he was earlier today.

And I wonder if I'll ever know him. If I'll ever know his story. If I'll ever know his favourite dish. If I'll ever cook it for him. If he'll catch me when I fall even harder. Fall just for this beautiful face that I so badly want to sit on-

"Sorry about earlier in that club though", he says, handing me my bag, "I didn't know I was that rock hard that slamming into me made you faint." He chuckles lightly.

"I hope you are."

"Huh?"

"No-uh-uh."

"She means it's ok", Kenny saves my ass and I sigh.

Logan frowns a little and bends down. "Am I too buff?"

"NO!", I almost yell and shake my head. "Nope. No. You're just... perfect."

He steps back a little.

Kenny nudges me with his shoulder. "Don't scare him away too", he whispers in my ear.

"I'm sorry for screaming at you guys too. Just... wasn't having a good day, you know."

"I know", I start nodding at him.

"Say sorry to your friends for me too will you?"

"Yup!"

...

"And you can stop nodding now."

"HELLO? CATHRYN! CATH RYN?", Kenny yells in my face.

"He's gone", he says, "it's been six minutes and ten seconds precisely. Stop nodding your head girl."

"He's... gone?" I look at him.

He nods. "Uh-huh. Can we just go home now and have some cookies cuz I'm SO freaking hungry r n."

"Let's go", I say and stumble all the way to my car. The world is still shaking. The touch is still lingering. I miss those arms already and I'm not even used to them yet.

Kenny looks at me with concern and shakes his head. "I'm driving."

Best. Day. Ever.

I talked to him for more than 10 seconds. Now that's, what you call, Progress.

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I am bored.