Choromatsu felt like he was suffocating.

His breath slowly leaving him.

He felt like he was dying.

This is it.

Choromatsu is going to die here.

He's was going to die right now.

He was too young to die, there was so much he wanted to do in life. Find a job, get married, go on a self-discovery trip, better (or worsen) his idol obsession. Wait no. It wasn't an idol obsession! He just really liked them and thought they were pretty. Or their personas were. Their music didn't even have to be good, but it was a bonus if it was. Like Nyaa-Chan. Ah yes, her voice, her face, the cat image she's going for- Well. Maybe he did have a slight obsession. But he wasn't a creep or anything!

Ah, this sucks.

This sucks.

He doesn't want to die. But looks like he doesn't have a choice.

Exhaustion was taking over his body, darkness consuming his vision and his thoughts going a mile a second, thinking of nothing yet everything at the same time.

So this is the end huh-

Then the door opened, "Choromatsuuu~"

On second thought, maybe it would be better if he could die of boredom.

Choromatsu was sitting one of their rooms on the floor, his face resting on flat on the table with papers surrounding him and a mechanical pencil. His face was right above a paper that stuck onto his cheek as he finally lifted his head, giving the intruder an annoyed glare, "What do you want, Osomatsu-niisan?" He barked.

Osomatsu entered the room and sat right next to Choromatsu, putting an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer, the latter trying his best to resist and pull away, "So mean Choromatsu~ I was just looking for Ichimatsu so we could play pachinko together!"

"That's a lie," Choromatsu deadpanned, making the older stiffen but then immediately laugh it off, "You know me too well, its not fair," Choromatsu raised an eyebrow with the most unimpressed face, "You literally called out my name. You obviously weren't looking for Ichimatsu."

Choromatsu finally managed to shove Osomatsu away from him, making Osomatsu go around the table to plop down and sit right in front of the younger, "Woops, guess I messed up huh?" Choromatsu just sighed as he looked back at the scattered papers and collected them, putting them a neat pile. There was just silence as the older watched the green-clad brother's actions almost intrigued, or just very carefully. It didn't go unnoticed by the one being stared at, it was really ticking him off, "So, what did you want? And get right to the point, I'm not in the mood to hear your dumb chatter."

There was more silence, Osomatsu staring right at Choromatsu with a blank expression before blinking and seemed careful to ask, "Are you...How are you feeling?"

The question didn't catch Choromatsu off guard, if anything, he was expecting it. There wasn't any satisfying answer, so Choromatsu replied with, "You already know. What kind of stupid question is that?" It was aggressive but had a hint of sorrow.

Choromatsu really hated these silences. Ever since then, there has always been uncomfortable silences between them now. Before it was hard to get Osomatsu to shut up and stop teasing him, but now he didn't so much and despite how much Choromatsu hated to admit it, he hated it. He hated how he was treated now, how Osomatsu and the rest of their brothers act around him now.

Choromatsu wasn't fragile, he was managing. That's what he tells himself anyway. But everyone can see right through him and he hates it.

Choromatsu got the papers he put in a stack and started fiddling with them, only looking down at them and avoiding eye contact with the oldest, "You know I hate it when you act like this around me. It's not like you. But I'm fine. You can go back to whatever you were doing-"

"Whatcha writing there?" Osomatsu cut in, Choromatsu inwardly sighed but went along with it, "My will for when I die of boredom being stuck inside all day-" Choromatsu would've kept on going if it was for the grimace that appeared on Osomatsu's face. Right, no jokes. "Karamatsu and Todomatsu suggested I pick up writing. It was supposed to be poetry but then I started to get frustrated so writing it was." Thankfully, thankfully, Osomatsu decided to snicker, "You never were the writing type were you? You either always wrote too much of things that didn't matter or didn't know what to write at all!" Choromatsu felt the need to defend himself, "Well it was better than your essays – Oh wait – you never wrote any!" Whatever it was about this situation or what they were saying, they both just laughed. Maybe they both looked for any excuse to laugh really, although they both seemed unease, almost forced.

Once their laughter died out, Osomatsu held his hand out, "Show me."

Choromatsu stiffened, gripping the papers tightly. He didn't want to, he couldn't let Osomatsu know. But, he wasn't exactly smart with that after being honest with Osomatsu and didn't even bother hiding what he was doing. He was such an idiot, before he never would've even risked him knowing what he was doing, he would rather tear the papers entirely than let Osomatsu get his dirty hands on them!

When Osomatsu saw his hesitation he pressed on, "Choromatsu. Give it, you know the rules." He did, and he hated it. Of course he would use that stupid excuse. Those stupid rules. Those rules that didn't let him do anything. Choromatsu gave in, knowing nothing good will come out of not listening to the older and either way, Osomatsu will always find a way. Choromatsu hesitantly gave the papers to the older, who gently took them and started reading over them, the latter not able to even look in his direction.

There were some minutes of silence till Osomatsu put the papers down with a sigh. Choromatsu guessed he wasn't pleased with what he read, of course he wasn't. Choromatsu wrote about wanting to go to more idol concerts, about finding a job, about going outside. "You know you can't." Osomatsu silently spoke.

Choromatsu nodded, "I know." Every waking moment of his current life kept reminded him. The boarded-up windows, the locked doors to the backyard and front of the house – which he didn't even know would have a lock inside for some damn reason unless it was installed just for him – and the constant reminder of his brothers like now.

"So why write about it? It's better to not even think about it, it'll only make you feel worse-"

"Feel worse?" He sarcastically remarked, "Being trapped inside this damn house is making me feel worse! You all treat me like a damn child who needs constant check-ups, who needs to be asked if he's okay every god damn minute, who just can't function anymore! Don't you think those things are make me feel worse about my situation?! You think you're helping, making and following these stupid rules, making me forget the outside world even exists by closing everything off, but you're all just making it worse!"

Choromatsu felt himself on the verge of tears. Those words were never supposed to come out, but the way Osomatsu spoke to him with those words and the fact he had the audacity to say what makes him feel worse or better was exasperating. He could see Osomatsu look like he was the one hurt, no, it was pity for Choromatsu. He stood up to get closer to him, only for Choromatsu to put his hands on his lap, balling them in fists on the fabric of his jeans, "Don't," he harshly commanded, "Get out."

"Choromatsu-"

"I said get out!" It was desperate, making Osomatsu finally listen to him and slowly leave the room. Choromatsu knew Osomatsu didn't fully leave as was probably at the door, but it's not like Choromatsu would do anything to make him spring back in here. He was just getting mad at his very presence.

Why couldn't Osomatsu just handle this situation like he would with any other and not treat him like this? If anything, what happened seemed to change them the most than Choromatsu! They were all still allowed to go outside, to do whatever the fuck they wanted without even taking it to their advantage except Choromatsu who would actually do something note-worthy and important if he was allowed to go back outside! But no. He's stuck in here with nothing to do except what was inside the house. Normally it would just be hanging out with his brothers in a room, but there are days like this where they're all gone except one. That one usually varied, but most of the times it was Osomatsu. Hell, even when he hanged out with all his brothers at home they still acted differently around him.

He hates this so much, he hates how right they are and how desperate he is. Choromatsu just wants normality, how things were before. They might've seemed shitty, but now was worse, it was much worse.

He wouldn't ever be able to find a job, to go on any self-discovery trip, to get married, to ever go to another Nyaa-chan concert, to go to the library, or the store, or even their backyard. His limits were the walls of the house and his brothers.

With nothing to do, Choromatsu might as well be dead. He sure felt like it, in a suffocating house. Was it always so hard to breath here? So stuffy and full? Before Choromatsu never noticed, or it at least never bothered him. But now, it was clear as day. He couldn't do anything but breath, but even that was carefully looked at.

Death sounded a lot more better and freeing than these restricting walls.

It was only wishful thinking to be dead, to have died when he should've.

((What happened to Choro or his situation is your guess. Might make this a mini series but who knows. Comments are always appreciated! If you have any guesses im down to hear em!))