For Andy. 

One of my best friends I was ever lucky to have. 
I'll miss you forever.

-

Sit in the barlight, you're holding your first drink, 
one of the many I know that you'll get. 
You laugh at my bad jokes, half out of instinct. 
Happiness smells like your cigarettes. 
You tell me your problems, I tell you my stories; 
I always listen, you always try. 
You dream of happy, I dream of glory. 
You say you're okay. Wish I knew when you lied. 

Head on your shoulder 
so you know I'm close.  
But I will get older, 
and watch as you won't. 

I stole your phone and filled it with photos; 
you deleted the ones that I took of you. 
Wish that you hadn't, wish I still had those 
'cause now I've got barely a vision of you.  
Can I bring up a memory, one that you'd like? 
You sat in my car as I dropped you home;  
we laughed till we cried, lasted half the night. 
Thought you were happy. Wish that I'd known. 

Head on your shoulder 
so you know I'm close. 
But I will get older, 
and watch as you won't.  

So I sit in the barlight, even though I don't drink,  
alone at a table that used to have two. 
I'll pretend that you're outside, coming back in,  
and when I look around, I can always find you.  
But I know that won't happen, and now never again 
you and I will be in the same room. 
Wish I was there when you chose the end. 
Think I could have saved you if only I knew.  

Space on my shoulder. 
Should have kept you close. 
I loved you, 
you know?  

'barlight' - 18/05/2024.
I loved you, you know?

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