Awkwardness is not something they were supposed to feel in each other's presence. They never felt that. Then again, nothing has ever happened for them to be standing here as fab three instead of fab five. In all honesty, this was just an excuse, their relationship had started to fall apart way before this.

seeing Mukti after months was supposed to make Alya happy and want to hug her best friend. Instead, they stood and stared at each other, deciding how to react. 'Hi, how have you been?' Didn't suffice but what more could she say. I am supposed to know how she has been. There was no time to ponder further because of Aryaman's arrival.

Mukti watched Alya closely. A gaze, uncomfortable eye shifting and an attempt to smile falling flat. None of these traits was of the best friend she knew. The one who held her head high and didn't attempt to hide her sadness behind a smile. It made her yearn to see the person she once knew and loved. I still do. Love her I mean.

---I hope it's not too late---

In an attempt to get off the slippery floor, Alya reached out for something to hold on to. Mukti took it into her own. There wasn't much thought to that action. It was instinct, one that had faded along with their interactions. Alya smiled at her, this time a genuine one. A sign of thank you, she realised.

When Nandini asks what happened. Alya can't find the words to help Mukti even though there is a common understanding between them or there should have been. She watched the red-haired girl struggle to keep her face from giving away anything and the eyes that glitter with unshed tears.

"I second Mukti. Cabir's account... I just dont think it's cool. You know...guys I think that we should make a pact. We can meet and we can remember fab five. Just... don't fiddle with the memories." she finally manages. The words are hers but they convey what the guitarist and herself to some extent were trying to say. Fab five and their memories are just as painful for her. The only difference is that she is trying to move on.

The string snapped and so did her patience. She grasped his collar and just as she was about to launch her fist into his smug face, someone was pulling her back. her brain takes a split second to register the hand on her arm before she gives in. Alya. its lingers there for a second. It's enough to remember their current friendship status and she shrugs it off.

"Enough guys. Let's go. Let's go teach him a lesson. Enough is enough. He is just a freshman and he is trying to mess with us...I think it's high time for us to unleash our horror. Let's go Alya.'' She takes a step up the stairs and stops there. The expectation that Alya will follow her comes crashing down and evolves into disappointment. The old Alya wouldn't have given it a second thought. She would have supported Mukti, no questions asked. The one sitting infront didn't seem to have registered anything she said. Her defence mechanism takes over and she barks with irritation. "Alya. I'm talking to you. Are you listening?"

I guess I was wrong. Without fab 5, there never was Alya and mukti.

--- I hope it's not too late---

The bikes don't slow at all as they near each other. In fact, they pick up the pace. Her eyes go wide with panic. Her mind is ordering her to move, to do something, anything to stop what she feared was about to happen. She can't move. Everything feels numb.

She looks on as Mukti takes the outside, allowing some room between the two motorcycles. They are coming to the end when suddenly, the guitarist does an under turn, taking out madhyam and herself in the process. the scene before her slows. her best friend slams onto the ground with the helmet being the only thing from cracking open her skull. The violent bang of metal was deafening as if the volume of every device had been remotely increased. Silence and stillness. Mukti wasn't groaning or moving. it scared her more than anything.

She hears a scream finally. As soon as it reaches her ears, it's gone. when she tried to call out to her friend did she realise that her palm was clamped in front of her mouth to prevent herself from screaming any louder. No. no. Mukti no. you can't do this. First Manik and cabir and now...no. fuck no.

She breaks into a run towards her friend. Aryaman flips Mukti onto her back and gingerly takes off the helmet after making sure there were no neck injuries. A deep cut ran from the side of her face to the right temple where blood trickled down in a continuous stream. Aryaman fished out a handkerchief from his pockets and handed it to Alya. His next set of instructions fall on deaf ears.

"Mukti, I will kill you if you die on me," her voice broke as he meekly threatened, hoping this would save her friend. "Can you hear me? Please be okay.." she pressed the piece of cloth to the wound. It proved to be enough in order to wake the guitarist as she groaned a little. It was the best sound Alya ever heard.

"Did I get him?" Mukti croaked out.

Alya gave a watery laugh and spared a glance at the boy's similar state. She turned back and glared at Mukti. "Idiot! Why did you do that!"

Mukti shifted a little in her friend's tight grip. Her mind was fogged. Something was different, a good kind of different. "I am...I am not an idiot and did I get him," she repeated, falling back into Alya.

"Yes, you did. I'm going to kill you for that. Do you have any idea how scared I am!"

She finally understood what felt different. This same sense of security that she hadn't felt in a long time. This same reason she quit going down the path of self-destruction with those antidepressants. Her best friend Alya was with her right now. The one she could talk to. The one that had the right to call her names and call her out on her bullshit. It was enough to ground her.

"Alya..." she suddenly let out a pained cry as pain overtook all her senses. Her eyelids fluttered open and closed for a second before closing again.

"Mukti? Mukti!" the pianist screamed, shaking the fallen girl in her arms. "No.no.no," she pressed the cloth tighter with both hands to stop the bleeding. Aryaman!"

--- I hope it's not too late---

Mukti drifted in and out of consciousness. She was fleetingly aware of the bloody taste in her mouth but she couldn't figure out what it was. At times her eyelids fluttered and she thought she must be at home in bed because it was so dark. Then why the cold and the sound of constant beeping?

Each time her vision returned she was seeing different things. First, it was a crying Alya, followed by a blue and a red blinking light, people hovering over her with needles and then black again.

Someone was squeezing her hand and calling her. She assumed it was navya. But she is with abeer. She struggled to remember what just happened. bike. Accident. Blood. Alya.

There was so much she wanted to tell the pianist. She needs to apologize for leaving her alone, for being unable to save their friendship. She needed to tell her best friend that she is hurting and needs help. Everything is spiralling out of control and she can't hold on. She needs help.

But Alya wasn't there when she needed her the most. But friendship works both ways. They both were equally to be blamed. In these four months, when Alya pushed her away, she should have fought back. Pushed back harder because it was one for all, all for one. If she was hurting then Alya was also hurting. Unfortunately, they chose to deal with the pain separately instead of together.

No matter how much she willed herself to wake up and talk to the pianist, she couldn't. She wanted to shout and scream. She wanted to scold Alya for leaving. She wanted her best friend to handle her tantrums and pacify her. But she can't because her body was slowly shutting down.

It only took a few short moments for their lives to come crashing down. Everything changed along with her views on certain things. Today, again- it took a couple of brief moments to realise something. Their friendship was not a loss cause. Never was and never is going to be.

I want to say I'm sorry Alya. I just hope it's not too late.

"She's ceasing!" someone yelled and that was the last thing she heard before giving in completely to the rest her body demanded.

--- I hope it's not too late---

The air outside sterile air in the corridors made her want to puke. Alya looked at her reflection in the mirror of the hospital toilet. Messy hair, cheeks stained with dry and fresh tears that tracked their way down and eyes rimmed red. Red. she scratched her bloody palms in an attempt to get rid of the dried red stain- blood. Mukti's blood. It wasn't supposed to be there.

"None of this was supposed to happen! No one was supposed to die. We should've been celebrating, dancing...performing. Cabir and Manik were supposed to be alive. For fuck sake, fab 5 was supposed to be forever!" she smashed her closed fist on the granite sink counter and forced in as much air she could into her folding lungs.

Fab 5, the elite band, role models for aspiring music students, friendship goals. They were all these before things started to change. They say Change is good because it makes one better. But for them, it broke them, they fell apart. They kept secrets, lied and misunderstood each other. One thing led to another until their demise.

Fab 5 fell apart.

When the primitive drive took over the wheel it was hard to fight it, to stay what a friend should be. In truth, when she discovered her bulimia, she wanted to run to them. Only them. But every time, embarrassment got the best of her. Choosing to suffer in silence was better than having to face them. It's ridiculous. No one judged cabir for being gay, not them at least. So then why is Alya different? She wasn't.

Mukti would have said that. She would have told Alya that her fear was justified and in no way ridiculous. That she had the right to feel this way. Then she would remind me that no one is going to judge me. She would have personally made sure no one made any hurtful remarks.

A long time ago, when the pianist wasn't feeling good, just the thought of her best friend's name lightened her mood. I felt content that you are there to protect me, to save me, to guard me, from any harm that will befall me. I knew you would always be there for me, to lift me up when I fall.

"Where did that mukti go? The one who stood up to people for messing with anyone she loved. Actually she is still there. It's the reason this happened. But that mukti wasn't self-destructive like this one."

It's not the first time this happened. Mukti has tried to kill herself before. She tried jumping off the roof and if not for Harshad she would have. At that time the reason was the fear of losing fab 5. Now that fear has come to life, it seemed like she was back at rock bottom. The antidepressants were the ones that scared her the most. Twice. Mukti drove herself to death twice with them. She managed to stop her but the damage was done.

She failed her. Again. Manik and cabir's deaths were hard on all of them. Instead of being there for each other, she turned away. Left Dhruv and Mukti to cope in their own ways. It only resulted in them feeling worse. It was like losing three friends instead of two. She understood now, it was wrong.

She understood because that's what she felt seeing mukti on the ground and ceasing in the ambulance while she helplessly hung on to her limp hand. As soon as the image flashed in her head, Alya turned towards a stall and made it just in time for her breakfast to be emptied into the toilet bowl. She flushed it down and rinsed her mouth.

What is going to happen from this point on she doesn't know. The only thing she knows without a shadow of doubt is that she cannot lose Mukti, her best friend. She will get her back and set things right between them. If it meant her career taking a backseat, so be it. Mukti was worth saving.

"I just hope I am not too late. Please be okay." she prayed, folding her hands.