i make a new enemy in the span of five seconds.

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sharing a car with my family would be the worst decision you could ever make in your life. luckily for me, i don't get that option, because thirteen year olds can't drive cars.

between kellan and millie yelling out i–spy answers, my dad singing his heart out to '80's rock songs, and my ma screaming at everyone to shut up (sometimes i wonder if she's the only sane person in this family), i could hardly hear myself think.

even without my hearing—aid i could still hear them. that's the thing, i'm only partially deaf, so it's a minor inconvenience. when the universe decided to make me they must've not been able to decide on whether they wanted me to hear or not. so i'm just stuck in the middle. i always am. i'm a middle child, i'm the unwanted part of a trio back at school.

atleast i'm not caspian's second option. i mean, i used to. i dont know if he's changed. he's probably got new friends. that's what i'm scared about. i haven't talked to him face–to–face since christmas, and that was seven months ago. what if he changed? he didn't look like it when we called each other, but he seemed more gloomy, like his enthusiasm had been drained from him.

i traced out a drawing of my dog, oliver, with the dust collected on the window.

"oscar, don't," ma scolded, her voice sharp. it scared me how she hadn't even turned her head around but noticed me doodling. but then again, mirrors were invented for a reason. still, i think she should've been focusing on the road instead of her child's artistic endeavors.

i pretended to look guilty and went back to drawing as soon as she turned her attention to a particularly slow driver, honking the horn with aggression, if that was even possible.

familiar landmarks came back into view as we drove into the town i grew up in. well, i'm still growing, unfortunately slowly, but technically i did the most growing in this place.

we pulled up at the driveway of the connors' house, where caspian and his parents lived. i thought he was lucky to be an only child, without a bitchy younger sister and an older brother who only has the qualifications to work at a mcdonald's, but caspian said it was very lonely. maybe i'm glad my parents are so caught up dealing with millie and kellan to notice i still didn't finish that irish essay my teacher assigned to us four months ago.

our car made that annoying screeching noise it always did when it halted to a stop. i bet that old scrap of metal on wheels is prehistoric.

my parents clambered out, leaving my siblings to a wrestling match in the back of the car. kellan planned to go up the town with some of his mates, while millie sulked because her old friends ditched her when she told them she was moving.

i still remember telling caspian that i had to move. it was the scariest thing i'd ever done. we walked over to the park and i blurted it out while we were having a competition on who could swing the highest on the swings. i'd never seen capian's face go so pale before. he's normally pretty tan,—not like the orange fake tan you see girls in my grade wearing—but the colour drained from his face. he started bawling his eyes out, and i'm not good at comforting people so i let him cuddle oliver instead for comfort while i half–heartedly rocked back and forth on my swing.

i hoped he didn't hold it against me that i had to move, but i could hear the slight resentment in his voice when he spoke. if i had a choice, i would've stayed.

"c'mon son, don't be shy," my dad opened the car door, unintentionally letting oliver loose. he tore around the garden, stopping at every shrub and bush to have a good sniff at the smells.

i scoffed. "me? i'm not shy."

i feel like that statement was more to comfort myself than reassure my dad, but the intention was there. it didn't help that my legs were trembling as i got out of the car. my body decided not to be convincing today.

"c'mere oliver! come, boy!" i called out to oliver, but he was either hard–of–hearing or liked ignoring me in particular. one day he'll come, i just know it.

i followed my dad reluctantly to the door, where my ma was chatting to caspian's parents. i had the immature instinct to hide behind my dad, but i didn't want to be a sissy. caspian was the same person i phoned nearly every day, so why was i scared to see him in real life again?

"OSCAR!!" i hardly had the time to register who had screeched my name before i was pulled into a bear hug. caspian had an iron grip on me, but i didn't want to ruin the moment by telling him i couldn't breathe.

"hey cas—" i choked out after he finally finished the embrace. i could feel myself blushing, though i couldn't tell whether it was because i was half–strangled or the fact that my dad is the only person who i let myself get hugged by. (and my dad is the only person who'd willingly want to be in the same proximity as me.) i settled for the first option, and hoped my face wasn't as red as my ginger hair.

"HELLO HELLO HELLO!" caspian jumped up and down in excitement. "ohmygoshi'msogladyoucameimissedyousomuch!"

i smiled. caspian didn't change, not one bit. "of course i came! do you think i'd break my promise to visit you?" i wasn't going to mention that i was considering leaping onto ongoing traffic earlier instead of seeing him again. don't get me wrong, caspian is awesome, he means alot to me, but i was scared shitless by the thought of seeing him again, as you can probably tell by now.

caspian grabbed me by the wrist and tugged me inside. "you've gotta see the posters i put up on my wall! they're sooooo cool!"

"let me guess," i responded. "are they taylor swift related?"

caspian looked amazed, like i was some magician. "how'd you know?"

"because it's been the only thing you've talked about for the past three months?" i pointed out. honestly, caspian was pretty easy to figure out. it doesn't take a genius (i am far from one) to tell he's a swiftie.

caspian led me upstairs and showed me around his room, ranting on about all the lore and stuff or whatever behind taylor's songs. the most i knew about her was that she has that one shake it off song that's played at every seven year old's birthday party, and that she tortures poets or something. i don't know, i wasn't listening properly but i liked hearing caspian's voice and seeing his eagerness to tell me about his hyper–fixations.

there was a rattle at the door, like someone was trying to shake the door off it's hinges instead of knocking on it.

caspian leaned over the railing at the top of the stairs, gazing down into the hallway where the front door is. he didn't look all too enthusiastic to open it.

a girl with a scraggly ponytail busted into the house, which would've looked badass if i wasn't so intimidated by her.

"caspian? where are you? the fuck is this ancient dumpyard of a car doing at your house?" the girl yelled up the stairs. caspian cowered behind the railing.

my breath caught in my throat from fear when she looked up and glared at me.

"who are you?" she snapped.

"caspian's best friend. who are you?" i scowled.

"i'm caspian's friend. scram little guy." she growled, clenching her fists. i didn't really want to test whether she could pack a punch, but she was blocking the only exit i had: the door.

"t-thistle. be nice." caspian commanded, though i caught him shivering slightly.

"he wasn't being nice either!" thistle said indignantly.

"right, uhm, both of yous be nice." caspian stammered.

thistle sped up the stairs, skipping every second step. i had to admit, i was impressed, but her next words instantly soured my mood. "he looks even shorter now that i'm standing next to him," she commented, looking me up and down.

"nice to meet you too," i grumbled.

thistle frowned, "i don't like your tone."

"sorry i'll just change my larynx then," i rolled my eyes.

"oooo fancy word, don't hurt yourself." she smirked. to be honest, i was surprised she knew what a larynx was, since mean people are supposed to be stupid, but i guess she broke the standards.

"do you have a secret sibling tucked away that i don't know about?" i whispered to caspian.

"why?" he looked puzzled.

"because there's no way she's your friend!" i exclaimed.

i didn't like the way caspian looked guilty and thistle gave him a smug grin.