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I HATE YOU
:: xvii. | the aftermath (part 2)

"Can you give me a ride?" She completely ignored the question and just stared blankly at her.

Rachel didn't ask any questions, she just picked up her keys off the bed and hurried to the car as Ashely quickly did herself. It wasn't until they got in the car when Ashely finally told her where they were heading,

"We're going to jay's house." It wan expressionless statement.

Rachel switched the knob to drive and so they began their way to jay's. As Rachel drove, Ashely went and called Alexa. She didn't say much, she was just as cryptic on the phone with Alexa as her brother was with her. She also hung up just as quickly.

Once they arrived, Ashely quickly got out the car and told Rachel to wait there. She ran to the door and walked in the house. She looked in the living room then in the kitchen before going up the stairs to jay's room. As she approached his room, her mouth opened and her hands covered it. Her eyes slowly welled up tears as her brother walked over to her.

It was only a second later when the two siblings heard footsteps running up the stairs. As soon as Alexa walked in, tears immediately started streaming down her cheeks. There laid Jay on the floor, mouth open, it was clear he overdosed.

"Did someone call anybody?" Alexa spoke between sobs.

"Yeah." Chad's arm was around his sister, "I called his mom and the ambulance before you came."

Ashely pulled away, "I can't be in here anymore." She walked out the room and went downstairs. As she stood down there for a little, Rachel soon came across her mind. She forgot all about the redhead outside who was waiting for her in the car.

Ashely went back outside and got in the car. She then told Rachel everything and as she spoke, tears streamed down her cheeks. Rachel wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her back to soothe her. As they embraced each other, that's when the ambulance arrived as well as jay's mother.

Ashely's head shot up and watched as jay's mother ran inside with the medics right behind. She ended up staying in the car with Rachel. From the car windows, she watched everything unravel. She watched her brother comfort jay's mom, watch the medics bring out his lifeless body on a gurney, and she thought about what she could've done to prevent this which made her feel even more guilty.

Soon enough the medics were about to leave but jay's mom wanted to ride with her dead son. They tried to revive him when they got there, but it already was too late so they had to presume him dead.

Ashely didn't want to stick around anymore, so Rachel started the car and drove her home. Her heart was pounding and she was trying her best to keep the tears in but each attempt got much harder than the last. That's when the thoughts began crowding her mind, blaming herself for what happened.

• • •

As soon as they reached Ashely's house, Rachel parked the car on the curb. She turned the car off and pulled out the key. Rachel soon then turned to her girlfriend, at least that's what she presumed since the conversation earlier.

"It's my fault he's dead." Ashely blurt out.

"No, it's not." Rachel shook her head, "Why do you think that?"

"I was the last person to see him do drugs." Ashely practically whispered even though no one had left the car just yet, "And I did them with him." She sighed, "What does that say about me?"

"You didn't know." Rachel searched for her eyes.

Ashely scoffed, "Doesn't matter."

"Does your brother know?" Rachel expressed a worried expression.

Ashely shook her head, "You can't tell him."

Rachel knew there was nothing else she could say to change Ashely's mind. She knew Ashely was going to beat herself up over this for awhile and so she realized there's only one thing that she can do, that was to just be there for her — comfort her. The redhead reached her hand down and took Ashely's in her's. When Ashely looked up, Rachel lightly smiled at her.

The two sat in the car just like that for next hour or so, no one talking. It was a comfortable silence. Ashely was grateful that she had Rachel by her side right then because if she wasn't . . . she would've gone down the rabbit and no one would've been able to save her.

a/n:
we'll miss you, jay </3

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