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I HATE YOU
::  xiv. | bird songs
( flashbacks will be in italics )

It was the night before, everyone was arguing about the time capsule being released. It was mainly just Chad, Ashely, Peyton and jake. They were all at Peyton's house in her room. They all remember that moment all so vividly, especially Ashely. Her's was the worst to hear, at least she thought so. As everyone continued to bicker about earlier in the day, Ashley was lost in her own mind— recalling everything that happened leading up to the time capsule fiasco.

It was a normal, regular day for everyone. As usual, Ashely ignored Rachel, Peyton and Chad were being weird, and Jay was being secretive. Nothing out of the ordinary at this high school.

Ashely was walking the halls to class with Bevin and Alexa by either of her sides. They were headed to the gym, Bevin was meeting the cheer team while Ashely and Alexa were just going to sit on the bleachers and watch. Alexa paid close attention but that's not where Ashely's attention held, she was watching the basketball team, she was keeping a close eye on lucas. Ever since finding out about his heart, everyone's been worried or walking on eggshells around him. Ashely just wanted to make sure he'll be fine.

As he was waiting for his turn to layup, he looked over and waved, she waved back. Rachel saw this interaction and rolled her eyes. After about twenty five minutes, everyone was sent to break for like fifteen minutes. Soon enough, break was over and the cheerleaders along with the basketball team finished up their practice then began to make their way to lunch.

Ashely went and sat with Chad, Alexa, Peyton and Jay at one of the tables in the courtyard outside the school. They were all talking about whatever, gossip, school. They were enjoying themselves. About thirty minutes later, everyone began to transition to their next class. They had about seven minutes until the final began rang. So Ashely went to her locker to switch out her books and as she dug through her locker, she saw everyone making their way to the tv that's held in the hall. Everyone was murmuring to each other as she walked past the crowd. She looked up and Lucas was on the screen, the time capsule— she immediately thought of. She hoped someone would shut it off before she came on the screen.

Luckily for her, Jake appeared next. He talked about his daughter Jenny and other things. It made Ashely smile when Jake smiled on the screen. Moments later, she popped up on the screen and her voice filled the halls, having faces turn to the screen.

"Where am I right now? Pretty moderate actually." Ashely watched herself talk on the screen, "There are so many things that can change your view so quickly. And well, I suck in many departments. Love being number one. So how do you think I feel right now?" She retorted.

All eyes were now on her even Rachel's. Ashely ignored all of them and began to head in the direction of her locker, but she walked passed it. She didn't even care enough to stay to listen to the next person who from the familiar voice was jimmy edwards. She could hear his voice as she walked through the double doors, exiting into the next hallway.

"It's really not that big of a deal." Chad mentioned, sitting next to Peyton on her bed.

"You're just saying that cause your video didn't play." Ashely stated facts. She was right. Right after her video, Jimmy's came on and she heard that in the middle of the hall before the principal finally shut it down.

Jake commented, "It was embarrassing."

"Who do you think did it?" Peyton looked amongst the group.

They all shrugged and continued to take part in conversation when Ashely's phone vibrated once. She pulled it out her back pocket and saw it was a text from Jay asking her if she could come to his place.

She told the group that she was heading to Alexa's house, she lied because she knew whatever happens with Jay, it would be held against her. She doesn't expect or want anything to happen, but you can't always get what you want. Chad had offered her a ride but to hold up her lie, she said no so she walked all the way there.

It was only a twenty minute walk, not that bad. Though it was dark and around 8pm, she was very vigilant on her way there. Once she got there and approached the front door, she knocked on it. Her fingers rhythmically tapped the side of her pants as she waited impatiently for the door to open. Mostly that was cause she didn't want to be out in the dark longer than she had too. Soon enough the door open and as she thought, there stood Jay.

She followed him up to his room and the door closed behind them. It quite startled Ashely but not Jay, that's probably cause he's use to it. His house is kind of weird like that.

"So you said in your text that there's a reason of why you don't want to quit and want me to understand?" She wasn't quite sure exactly what the messaged said because she only skimmed it but for the most part, it was correct.

Jay turned in Ashely's direction, "Yeah. I spoke to Chad already so it just makes sense that you would know too and also, you're one of my closest friends."

"Jay . . . you're scaring me." Ashely didn't have trouble being honest with him about how she was feeling.

He put his hands on his hips, "Well, it was a scary time— my father leaving. It was hard enough with all the other problems then that had to happen. Which is why . . " He went to his night table by his bed and rummage through it until he found what he was looking for, "This helps me." He pulled out a tiny bag with white powder in it and held it up.

"Cocaine?"

"You need to know the reason and try it with me to understand why." Jay explained to her.

"Jay, I love you but I am not doing drugs." There's many things that Ashely would try but drugs is not one of them.

"Ash, we're the same." He walked closer to her, "We both have this deep hatred that we can't shake. We have these feelings that we can't figure out and sometimes you just want a way out." He stuck the small, plastic bag in her face.

She stared at the bag before finally agreeing. Jay opened the bag and poured the white powder on his dresser. Ashely seen it before so she knew exactly what to do. Jay gave her a broken disk and so she portioned it out before snorting some in one of her nostrils. She wasn't sure of what's supposed to happen, she never took it before. Right after her, Jay snorted the rest.

About an hour had passed, Jay and Ashely were now laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. They were off in their own worlds. Jay reached to his night stand and grabbed a controller, he pointed it to the ceiling and pressed the on button. His ceiling then lit up. There were blue stars all over. Ashely thought it was pretty, she thought she was in space.

They continued to talk as their eyes were glued to the stars. They were mesmerized and high as fuck. Ashely finally understood why, it's the feeling— you can forget and necessarily not feel all those feelings that you do when you're sober. She's not one to do drugs, but she feels on cloud 9 right now.

• • •

It was the next morning, a Thursday. Ashely's eyes fluttered open, a bit drowsy. She looked next to her and found Jay's eyes closed, assuming he was sleep. After blinking a couple of times, she then began to freak out a bit. It's morning and she doesn't remember most of what happened last night, then all those missed calls and texts from her brother — she was fucked. After looking at all the notifications, she opened her phone and quickly texted her brother that she was ok and thanks for covering for her, well she assumed.

Ashely got up off the bed and as she stood up, Jay opened his eyes. He groaned a bit as he sat up and Ashely turned in his direction. She walked back to him, kissed his head and then headed out his room to downstairs out the front door. Once she walked out his house, she checked the time on her phone. It read 7:05am, about an hour before school starts.

As she began walking, she realized her house was a little while away and Peyton's wasn't that long. So, that's where she headed— to Peyton's house. After about fifteen minutes, she approached the white front door. As usual, it was open. She always got on Peyton about that and as a result, Peyton never listens. Ashely walked in and headed up the stairs,

"Peyton!"

No answer, she continued up the stairs.

"Yo, Sawyer!" Ashely headed to Peyton's room then opened the door.

Peyton jumped at the sound of her door opening, turning in that direction.

"Jesus Christ, make a sound next time!" Peyton exclaimed.

Ashely squinted her eyes in a more confused, questioning manner, "Are you deaf?"

Peyton was already dressed for school, so she rolled her eyes and pushed Ashely out the room and the two headed to Peyton's car. Peyton locked her door once they made their way out the house. Ashely got in on the passenger's side and Peyton got in on the driver's side. She started the car and they were now on their way to school.

She was surprised Peyton didn't ask about her clothes, since she was in the same clothes as yesterday. The car ride to the school was silent, it was a comfortable silence though. They were both relaxed. After about another five minutes, they rolled up in the school parking lot and parked the car in a reasonable spot. As they got out, Brooke made her way over to her friends.

As they began heading into the building, Brooke got in between them and latched her arms with theirs. The three of them were laughing and chuckling as they walked through the doors. With no mind at all, as they approached the glass doors to the lockers, that's when they saw it.

Peyton's reaction, Brooke's then Ashely's. They all ducked before the gun fired and the glass breaking on top of their heads . . . 

to be continued . . .

a/n:
the scary thing )):

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