A/N: Hello guys! Wow I'm sure everyone thought I was dead or something lol. Well I'm not, so good right?

Anyhoo I have been having like extreme anxiety when it comes to writing. Or evening posting old work, such as this one shot I wrote back in April. So if anyone could give me some advice on how to control it or tips they use it would be greatly appreciated.

Now this one shot is another Gerallon (Gerard/Dallon). I know it's a small following, but I love it dearly. This is mainly angsty and sad, but trust me it gets better in the end. Also I was thinking about making this into an actual story off of this one shot, but I'll let you my readers decide.
Enough talk.

Enjoy!

I fucking hate my life. I'm stuck in a rut and I can't get out for the life of me. Oh I'm sorry we haven't been properly introduced. My name is Dallon James Weekes. The James part came from dear old dad. He just couldn't help placing claim on what was his. So I feel like I've been labeled and owned since birth. No reason I should see my adulthood to be any different.

I was a good son. Always got decent grades. Never caused much trouble. Even went to college. Sure it was only an associate’s degree in business and finance, but that still counts. Hell it's better than most people my age. Soon after I found a very interesting guy. He was always so wild. And since the reserved person I had become needed a huge change in my life, I couldn't help but be drawn to him.

We had our little chase, but eventually I caught him. He always liked to say he let me catch him, but I know I won him over. So there we were dating for at least two years before we got married. It seemed like a match made in heaven. And for a while it was. Too bad my lovely new husband had demons that he just couldn't shake. I've tried to help him, but nothing seemed to work. So I eventually gave in. I didn't want to, but a part of a husband was better than none right?

So here I was driving home after another “exciting” day of filing papers. It was for a reasonable pay, but if you ask me it should pay a whole lot more for the mental anguish it caused. Nearly everyone there was slowly dying on the inside. And it wouldn't be long until we all killed the outside as well. Me especially. With all the added stress in my life, a bullet to the brain was looking more and more appealing. But being the “good” son and husband that I am, I had to sustain from such fantasies.

I sighed as I pulled up into our apartment complex. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him today. But then again when was I ever in a good enough mood to deal with anything? Well I can't stay out here forever or he’ll start to worry. And when he got worried he'd smoke and drink even more. Which I didn't want so I regrettably got out of the car.

I made my way to the door. I sighed again before I opened it.

“You're home, babe how was work?” Gerard jumped up from the couch to hug me. All I could focus on is the mess he left in the living room. He reeked of weed and booze. Well no need to ask him what he did today.

“It was the usual.” I said as I released him. His stench was beginning to make me feel sick. I tried to hide my disgust. “So did you go out and get some fresh air today?” I questioned. We both already knew the answer, yet I always asked. I would give him one task to do for the day in hopes that he would show some kind of effort in the right direction.

“W-well babe I wasn't really feeling good today so I just hung around the house. Y’know how it is.” He turned his eyes away from me and rubbed his arms as he replied. A definite sign that it was indeed a lie. I just frowned at the poor man, judging by his mannerisms he was feigning for a pill or two to pop right about now. He could sense my disappointment, if it were a smell it'll probably be as strong as his odor at the moment. “B-but babe I promise I'll do whatever you want me to do tomorrow okay?” He tried to reassure me that he wasn't lost yet, but what he failed to realize is tomorrow never came for him. It was always today where he got high, today where he got drunk, and today where he made excuses and the same promises to change.

“I'm sure you will honey.” I kiss him on the forehead and move past him. I've become monotoned in my responses because it was getting harder and harder to lie to myself about his problems.

“Hey why don't I make us something special for dinner?” Gerard followed me to our bedroom. He knew I was mad and so he tried his best to cheer me up by ignoring the reasons why I was mad.

“I'm not in the mood for cereal tonight Gee.” I told him as I got out of my work clothes.

“How'd you know I was-”

“You only make one of two things. Cereal or those sandwiches with way too much mayo on them.” I made a face at the thought of that. How my husband found that appetizing was beyond me.

“Well you used to like those deluxe sandwiches Dal. You said you loved my cooking.” Gerard pouted as he crossed his arms in protest.

“No I said I loved you Gee, big difference.” I corrected as I gathered up some comfortable clothes to lounge in. I head to the bathroom to take a shower.

“H-hey you want a little company in there?” Gerard smirked at me in the doorway. We barely became intimate anymore unless he was on his delicious ecstasy pills. Other than that he wasn't in the mood. The only reason he would force the feeling was to weasel more money for drugs and I wasn't buying anymore for him this week.

“No.” I slammed the bathroom door in his face. Most people would see me as being mean, but just because I'm his enabler didn't mean I had to like it. I heard a few sniffles from him before he went back to the living room no doubt to get even more drunk than he already was. If only he cried for me the way he cried when he couldn't get high, then maybe I wouldn't be this way towards him.

                   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Gerard I thought you said you were gonna help me clean today?” I was fed up with always doing all the chores myself while my so called loving husband sat on his ass the whole time. But this was typical for my off days.

Gerard came into the kitchen puffing on the last remnants of his blunt. He just had to get the rest of his high before he dealt with me. I sat there patiently until he was done. I wasn't happy about it, but why bother with the small things when we had bigger fish to fry. “Okay what do you need me to do?” He said as he put out his blunt. On my clean floor mind you.

“You can start by straightening up the living room.” I frowned as I swept up the charred remains from under his foot.

“What do you mean it's fine.” Gerard shrugged off.

“It's a total mess in there or haven't you noticed Gee.” I narrowed my eyes at him before I emptied my dustpan.

“It's not a mess. It's an organized cluster thank you very much.” Gerard corrected me with his hands on his hips. And here we go again, a fight just waiting to happen.

“Well your “organized cluster” is an eyesore. And I would love to bring people over to the place to see how well I clean, but your cluster is literally the first thing they're gonna see!” I raised my voice. Sure I could've left it alone, but some days I can't help being petty.

“So you're saying it's my fault the reason you can't invite company over?” Gerard frowned. I knew by his voice and the way he was chewing on his bottom lip. That this was only gonna get worse.

“Yes I am. And not only that, I would love to take my husband out too every once in a while. But I forgot he doesn't leave the damn house unless he's meeting his dealer for his next fix!” I yelled in his face. I know the old saying “two wrongs don't make a right”, but Gee needed to understand the pain he put me through.

Unfortunately that little outburst of mine only lead to more pain on my behalf. In the form of a slap to the face. “You bastard how dare you!” Gerard teared up and ran to the bathroom.

“And here's the dramatics ladies and gentlemen. Gerard’s gonna go cry and make himself throw up, oh yeah I know about that problem too in case you didn't know! But then again it's all just another ploy to make me feel bad when you don't get your way! Well as it turns out, I don't give a fuck!” I was screaming so loud I'm sure the whole building heard me. I slammed the door to our bedroom all while he sobbed and vomited in the bathroom. Yup just your typical off day.

                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Gerard I'm not buying that.” I sighed as I handed him back yet another food item that I wasn't getting.

“But I need them babe.” Gerard pouted to me as he held up the pack of cookies.

“Need, really Gee?” I raised a challenging eyebrow at him. We'd have these arguments in the store before and I doubt today will be any different.

“Okay fine I just want them alright. They're a quick snack for me to eat.” Gerard frowned as he again put it in the basket. I just continued moving. The more I fought the more my headache was gonna grow.

“You wouldn't need junk food if you learned how to cook.” I scolded him as we went along.

“I get sick a lot and I can't wait around to eat Dal.” He replied at he began fidgeting.

“Yeah I'm sure sweets will cure your mysterious illness. And stop scratching you look like you're tweaking or something.” I said as I went ahead of him.

“You know I kicked my coke habit ages ago so don't you start!” Gerard yelled behind me.

“Yeah and you replaced that with three other addictions so hooray for you.” I muttered as I kept going.

“Excuse me what was that?” He quipped back. A scowl very present on his face. Oh man I just lit the fuse to the bomb just now.

“Nothing.” I sighed while I picked up more things on my list.

“No if you got something to say then say it to my face Dallon.” Gerard got in front of the basket to prevent me from moving. “You think I'm just some low down addict!”

“You said it not me Gerard.” I just walked around him to get the items I needed and left him with the basket. I didn't wanna spend all day in the store. I had better ideas for a Friday afternoon.

“No if you think I'm an addict why don't I act like one.” He pulled my arm, forcing me to turn around and look at him. He began scratching like crazy. “Oh come on baby just give me a little bit and I'll let you do whatever you want to me. Just please all I need is a taste daddy. I promise I'll show you a good time.” Gerard was moaning and grabbing me all over. I hated when he got like this.

I pushed him up against the shelf hard, pinning him there by his shoulders. “Now look we are NOT having this discussion here. You will NOT embarrass me in public. And if you won't behave then I'll lock your ass in the car like the little brat your being right now, do you understand me!” I growled at him. Gerard just frowned and nodded his head.

I sighed and let him go. I'm sure we had already caused enough of a scene in the store so the last thing I wanted was security throwing us out. Again.

I took his hand and semi drug him through the aisles. We both ignored all the obvious stares we were getting.

Gerard picked up some more of that sugary cereal he liked. And placed it in the basket.

“I'm not buying that Gee.” I groaned as I continued my shopping.

“Yes you will so thanks in advance.” Gerard kissed my cheek. I merely sighed in defeat and held him close around his waist. While he laid his head on my shoulder. We finished the shopping.

                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Babe why don't you take a break. You've been cooking for like three hours already.” Gerard whined from the couch.

“I'm trying to make a special meal for our anniversary. And I expect you to eat it honey.” I told him as I checked the hens I had in the oven.

“And I will but let's relax for a bit. Please Dallon?” He hit me with those big brown eyes. The ones he knew I couldn't resist. Especially on a day like today.

“Fine.” I sighed and cut my food on low so it wouldn't burn. I walked over and sat down on the couch next to him.

“Here give me your feet.” Gerard said as he laid me back and put my legs on his lap. He then proceeded to massage my feet. You never know how much your muscles ache until you finally get a therapeutic rub. I moaned as I began to sink into the cushions. I gotta admit this was a very comfy couch. No wonder Gee liked it so much.  “You know I was watching this infomercial the other day and the doctor on there said that we have these pressure points in our feet that can cure our whole body from pain.” He smiled happily.

“Well nice to see that extensive amount of cable you watch is paying off.” I joked. Earning me a cute little chuckle from him. That's when I noticed that's all I heard. “Honey why are we watching the TV on mute?” I pondered as I reached for the remote on the coffee table.

“No leave it off. I like it better this way.” Gerard stopped me.

“Why?” I was assuming to get a very weird explanation as usual.

“Because it eases the tensions in your mind.” He told me. Like I said weird.

“What are you talking about Gerard?” He lost me like always.

“I'm saying it's beneficial to watch without the sound. See look at it like this, you get so down in the dumps as you go through life. You hate what you do for a living, where we live….marrying me…” Gerard bit his lip sadly.

“Honey I don't hate-”

“You don't have to lie babe, and I understand. I see the way you look at me sometimes like I'm a burden…” His eyes started to water. I sat up and reached for him to come closer, but he didn't. He just pushed me back down and I felt lower than low. “But that's not important right now. The point is you hate your life and soon all you start to see is the negative. Like its expected. Same with TV. You watch your favorite shows, get connected to the characters and the plot. But then as time goes along the show gets boring because everything in it becomes expected. So I mute the TV and that expected show now becomes whatever I want it to be.” He explained to me. It was shocking, but he was really making sense.

“Okay take that lady, she can now be a queen of her domain, but she's lonely and so she sets out to find a king for her kingdom. You get it now?” Gerard looked over at me. He could tell I wasn't quite following him. “Here take a few shots and I promise it'll all make sense.” He proceeded to pour me a shot of whiskey. Normally I would refuse, but it was our anniversary plus I was intrigued by his convincing argument.

Before I knew it I was tipsy and giggling out of my mind. Gerard was more than drunk, but he's a professional drinker so he could keep his wits about him during these inebriated periods.

“W-wait wait which one is the unicorn again?” I asked while we watched the screen.

“Her right there Dal, the little girl remember. She’s asking the queen to protect her from the hunter that wants to kill her for her magical horn.” He told me through slurred words.

“H-honey I-I think you’ve had drink too much. And I won't let it continue.” I slurred as I took the nearly emptied bottle from him. Gerard was laughing up a storm at me. I couldn't help but laugh too when I thought how drunk I sounded too.

We decided to eat the nice dinner I made on the couch while Gerard tried to explain this new show to me. It was actually pretty good. And the most fun we've had together in a long while.

Gerard’s chuckles soon turned to sobs and I got alarmed. “Honey what's wrong?” I asked him as I pulled him into my chest. He held me tight as he soaked my shirt. “Gerard come on talk to me.” I was getting more worried.

“P-please Dallon don't leave me…..” Gerard sniffed as he wiped his runny nose on my shirt. “Please I’ll change….I know I have problems….I just need some help….” Those words broke my heart instantly. Sure I've always wanted to hear him ask for real help, but not like this. No this was way too much.

“Honey calm down, I promise you I'm not going anywhere. I love you whether you're sick or well, high or sober. I married you Gerard Arthur Way and I gave you my name. There’s no one in this world I'll rather be with than you. I'm so sorry if I don't show it much but believe me, you make me happy…..alright?” I held his face tight in my hands. I needed him to see the sincerity in my eyes. He was still a sobbing mess so he only nodded. I pull him closer until our lips touched. It seemed like we hadn't kissed in almost a year and yet our lips still fit perfectly together.

We made out for a little while before I laid him down on top of me. He nuzzled into my chest as I rubbed his back. Giving him all encouraging and loving words I could muster up in my still tipsy state of mind. Sure Gerard gave me hell on the daily bases. Sure he was most likely not gonna change anytime soon. And sure just like this crappy world, he gave me plenty of reasons to hate him. But the love we have for each other is the only thing that keeps me going.