Luella handed me a bottle of coke. We were having a picnic on the beach with Cherry, Moe and Nile. It was sunny today, and the sky was bright and cloudless. I laid back, basking in the sun. I wore only my binder and shorts. My hair was pinned away from my forehead with little sunflower clips. 

Moe's head was resting on my belly. Moe had long, silky black hair. He had an Indigenous nose and almond eyes. He looked almost god-like as he slept. 

The summer air tasted like freedom and carefree happiness. And it smelled like grilled cheese— but that was because Luella had brought grilled-cheese sandwiches for everyone, including a vegan version for herself. 

The salty scent of the sea lingered around us. My hands played with Moe's hair, and I heard him mutter something under his breath. The day felt like the kind of day where you can only remember happiness and salt. I got up, gently pushing Moe away, and I grabbed Luella, making sure she followed me. We ran down the beach, sand flying behind us. I jumped into the water, the coldness of it contrasting with the warmth from outside. Luella jumped too, her blue hair waving around her. 

My binder was a tad loose, I'd taken an already stretched one to make sure swimming wouldn't be dangerous. Luella jumped on me, giggling, and I smiled, splashing at her. 

I fall in love with life in those moments. 
In the moments where the light hits her hair, and Luella suddenly becomes magical. In the moments were the waves are an ethereal shade of blue, in the moments where my heart is beating heart, but not from anxiety, simply because of intense happiness. I fall in love with life when my happiness is at its peak, when my friends dance on the beach and when I see them running towards the sea to cannon ball next to me. When suddenly, I know that I have a big family, and that I'm not alone with Mom anymore. When suddenly, the bubble of fear in my stomach isn't sour anymore. When suddenly, I'm happy, intensely so. 

In those moments where I just feel complete. 

The sun was setting on the sea, throwing its reddish glow on the receding waves. We all ate our grilled-cheese sandwiches, enjoying the breeze. I took a swig of my beer, enjoying the acidic taste that went down my throat. Nothing thrilled me more than the sun and the beach. 

" I love moments like these" I said, eyeing the sun. 

Moe elevated his beer. 

" To beautiful sunsets and the best summer of our lives." 

" Cheers to that!"

Cherry downed the rest of their beer. 

"We're gonna make sure this summer is the best ever."

I smiled. 

It was the kind of scene where Conan Gray music could've played in the background. Specifically Grow, or Generation Why. We were growing, evolving into the version of us that would turn seventeen soon, the version ever so close to adulthood. Growing up was scary, but no one cared anymore. We wanted freedom, and growing up offered us the means necessary to it, along with added shackles. 

I glanced back at the sea. The sun was almost gone now. If someday I fell in love, I'd come here to kiss him for the first time. 

Luella giggled. She was talking with Cherry, and they seemed in a great mood. Seeing them both so happy warmed my heart. 

But that feeling of happiness quickly faded away when I noticed him, tongue deep down a girl's throat. How christian of him.