The milkshake place was on the side of one of the biggest avenue of Nowheresville. It was a petite pink building, 50's style, with a beautiful outdoor terrasse and red booths on the inside. The lady that served us had a fifties-like hairdo and the smile your grandma would usually bless you with. She brought us a strawberry milkshake and two straws.

Ian seemed nervous. He was wearing a DOOM shirt and baggy khakis. His hair was detached, falling on his shoulders like a curly-haired Shaggy. I was wearing black pants and a baggy black shirt, along with a multitude of rings on each hand. My hair fell in front of my face, but I pinned it back with butterfly clips. They were covered in glitters, I'd probably have to wash the sparkles out of my hair later.

I took a sip of the shake, eyeing Ian.He seemed out of his comfort zone, and I felt mildly bad for taking him out in public so soon. The milkshake place— Maria's Shakery— was the most popular venue in town. Most high schoolers went there. It hadn't been my brightest idea. In fact, I noticed Conan, Tyler and Harry sitting in a booth on the other end of the room. Harry was glaring at me. Then, I heard my phone beep.

What r u doing here? Why are u with Ian?

He disliked Ian. He'd always been weirdly wary of him.

i'm on a date. it's rude to text while on dates. gdbye.

fine. dont answer me.

I took another sip of milkshake, ignoring my phone. I muted it.

" What is it?"

I smiled.

" Nothing to worry about. Try the shake. It's good. "

He took a sip. His face went blank.

"Eh."

I wasn't confortable being here. I could feel his glare on me, his intense eyes, and it felt too crowded. I couldn't breathe. Maybe my binder was trying to suffocate me, maybe I was dying, maybe I was having a heart attack maybe— Hyperventilating, I got up, running towards the exit. I heard Ian call for me, but panic welled up inside of me, obstructing all my other senses. My ears were ringing loudly, air was lacking and my vision was muddied up. Outside felt too bright. My shoulder hit a side of a wall, I heard more ringing before hands caught me by the waist, pulling me towards them.

" Hey, hey. What's up?"

It was his voice. I pushed him off.

" Gay. No. Don't."

I heard him sigh.

" I didn't ..."

My senses were in overload. I couldn't breathe. I fell to the floor, my knees banging against it, shock— and pain— going up my legs.

"Sarah— what are you doing—"

I wanted to scream. Instead, I started punching the air. My fist found his leg, somehow, and I kept punching.

" THAT ISNT MY NAME! THAT ISNT MY NAME!"

I kept hyperventilating, my chest going up and down so fast that it looked like I was dancing. He caught my wrists and made me stop punching him. But I kept pushing him, trying to wiggle free.

" SARAH. OPEN YOUR EYES. STOP. STOP!"

I slapped his hands away.

" If you don't call me by my name, then get out of my life."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks.

" I didn't tell you because i knew— I KNEW you'd be this bad. You wouldn't understand. You'd keep hurting me and disrespecting me in the name of a God that loves everyone. THEN WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME THE SAME. WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT YOUR BEST FRIEND?"

" I'm not ga—"

" YOU DONT NEED TO BE GAY TO BE ACCEPTING YOU DUMB—"

" And my parents aren't for transgenders. I told you. I respect my parents, and their opinions. Because they're the reason I'm lucky and healthy and the reason I can afford things. Like your car, for instance."

I was calmer now. The attack went away. It was now replaced with almost blind anger.

" Why did you have to be this way, Sarah? I didn't want to have to lose you. I love you so much. But I have to respect my parents."

"If your parents weren't in the equation. Would this be different?"

" Sa—"

" Would it? Would you accept me then?"

I got up, wiping off the dust from my pants.

" You know I would. You're incredibly important to me, and I educate myself on this kind of topic. But out of respect for..."

" Then why the gay argument? Why are you so worried of seeming gay?"

" My parents would disown me."

"They don't know I'm trans. Or that we sleep in the same bed."

" I don't want to think that I am either."

" If you aren't attracted to me then you have nothing to worry about."

He stayed silent.

" I hate that you left me over this, Harry. I thought our friendship would last forever."

" We were never meant to be friends forever."

" Why would you say that?"

The hurt was audible in my voice. But before I could get my answer, he turned around, walking down the street, fast. Ian was out of Mary's Shakery now.

I hate him. For hurting me this bad. And I hurt myself for getting attached to someone that hurt me this bad.