Classes were over and it was now time for my favorite part of the year. Driving way too fast on my way home, hair messy, windows rolled down and music blaring from the radio, I felt free again. 

Outside, the sky was a bright, magical blue, and the sun shone brightly. This was a good day. Everything about this screamed freedom. 

Earlier today, Harry'd told me he'd come over to see me, so we could order pizza and binge watch marvel movies. It would be the perfect start to the summer break: watching movies with my best friend, eating the greasiest of foods... 

A twinge of nervousness bit at me, and I slowed down, making my way down my driveway. Today was also the day I would come out to him. As far as he knew, I was a tomboy. He thought I was a straight girl— but I'm a gay man. 

His car was parked in front of my house, and I knew my mom had let him in inside. She knew him so well, he was basically a third resident of the house. My mom had been alone with me for as long as I could remember. She was my Lorelai to my gender-bent Rory. I parked my car on the second spot, right next to Harry's car, and I waited. I had come out to my mom a long while ago, but we had agreed to wait to tell Harry because she knew it made me nervous. Harry lives in a very catholic household. He's the nicest boy I know— he wears this cute sage green sweater and his hair is fluffy and brown and soft and everything about him reminds me of those boys all my other friends simp for— he's kind, and caring and always drives to my home when he knows I'm not doing good. We used to sleep together— not that. Sleep. Genuinely sleep. He'd hold me and we'd fall asleep and wake up to each other making the dumbest of faces. He used to land me his hoodies because he knew I preferred wearing boyish clothes. Before I got my license, he would pick me up and drop me off every day, even to my dates. Then, last December, when I turned sixteen, he helped me pick out a car with my mom and helped her pay for it. 

I got out of my car, telling myself that it would be fine. It had to be, right? He's my best friend, he would never lose me over something this dumb, right? We were going to have so much fun this summer. We had a plan to go to the beach every day and I would be his wing man for the chicks he wanted to pick up. Fun bestfriend activities, right? 

I made my way inside the house, the nervous-bubble inside my stomach now starting to feel like lead. I could hear his laughter coming from the living room, along with my mom's giggling. It was going to be okay. 

"Guys! I'm home!"

When I got to the living room, his eyes lit up and he sat up straight, smiling at me.

"Hey! look who's finally home" 

My mom smiled.

"I'll leave you two to it."

She walked past me, lightly squeezing my hand in encouragement. I sat on the couch, ignoring Harry's happy face and turning on the tv. The DVD was already prepared. The Marvel intro came on, and I turned to him, terrified. 

"Harry, I need to tell you something."

"Are you finally going to admit that you like Bra-"

"No. Harry.."

His joking-face went away. He knew this was serious, and that somehow made my anxiety rise up. 

" I'm trans. My name is Leo, and I use he/him pronouns. I don't know how to say it better than this, and I-"

His face had turned cold, and his eyes looked at me in a way I never thought he would. He looked disgusted. 

"I-"

He stopped himself, taking a deep breath before standing up.

"I have to go. My mom wanted me to eat with her and Stan tonight. I think they're getting engaged."

He grabbed his phone and his school bag and looked at me again. He looked at me as if I were a stranger. My eyes started watering. 

"No-please. Can't you stay a bit longer? It's four pm, she won't need you home for another couple hours- we can watch a couple movies and- and we don't have to order pizza, it's okay- I-"

" I can't stay, Sa- Sorry. I can't stay. I have to go."

Powerless, I watched him leave, the front door banging behind him, and suddenly I felt overwhelming solitude. Tears sprung out of my eyes, rolling down my cheeks. Mom came in, taking me into her arms without a word. 

"It's okay Leo. It's going to be okay. He'll come around."

Falling asleep that night was nearly impossible. All my summer plans had been blown apart by a single revelation. I should've been relieved. I could be myself now, without having to be dead named when he was around. Feeling like I had to do that in the first place should have made me think the negate outcome more. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe he'd come around. But I know how much the church and his family' opinions means to him. He can't accept someone like me, someone that goes against everything that his parents taught him. It's sad and it breaks my heart, but I think I just lost my best friend of ten years.