I wake up suddenly, my heart pounding like I've just had the worst nightmare. It takes a moment for me to recognise where I am, but when I see the familiar surroundings of my room, I start to calm down. I fall back onto my bed, trying to catch my breath.

I take a few deep breaths, trying to shake off the strange dream. I glance over at Hayden, who's lying on her bed, casually scrolling through her phone. She looks over at me, raising an eyebrow.

"What kind of dream did you have? You woke up screaming like a lunatic, more than usual," she says, sounding curious.

I don't answer straight away. Instead, I turn off my alarm, needing a moment to collect myself. Once the room is quiet again, I finally ask, "How did I get back here?" hoping to change the topic.

"You don't remember?" Hayden's expression softens. "You blacked out on the bus. You were so knocked out that I had to carry you up."

I feel a wave of relief. So, the events of last night are just a trick my mind is playing on me. Including that kiss. I start to relax a little, letting myself believe it was all in my head.

But then Hayden, with her usual bluntness, adds, "It's not like I had any other choice. I was second-hand embarrassed when I saw you vomit all over Sebastian."

My stomach sinks. "I... I what?"

"Yeah," she says, clearly amused. "To make matters worse, you blacked out immediately after. It was like watching a very sad soap opera, plus vomit. For the sake of my sanity, I had to get you out of there quickly."

I cover my face with my hands, completely embarrassed. "I was there, no need to make things sound worse than they already are." I pause and let out a frustrated groan.

"You're lucky it was just the puke," Hayden replies casually, like it's no big deal.

I blink, confused. "What do you mean, just puke? What happened last night?"

"I was looking for you to give you another serenade, but when I went to your seat, you were gone. Suwi told me you two sneaked away, so I did what any big sister would do-I followed you to make sure you didn't fumble your chance. But when I got there, it was a disaster. He said something, then you said something, then he said something, and you pulled him in, and next thing I know, you're throwing up on the poor guy. You should thank God I was the only person there because that was the worst romance trope I have ever seen."

I let out a long sigh of relief. So, the kiss was just a dream. But that does nothing to ease the guilt I feel for doing that.

I give myself one look in the mirror, push all those thoughts under a rug deep down in my spleen, and get on with my life. Classes are resuming, and if I plan to improve my grades, I have to make no space for feelings.

*******

The week for tests comes like a harsh gust of wind. I'm somewhat prepared for it, but one can never be too sure.

Hayden and I go into a power phase filled with sleepless nights and an unhealthy balance of snacks and caffeine-a necessity for a somewhat decent CA. In total, my tests count for twenty percent of my final grade, and so far, I have zero.

I enter every test venue with a mindset of a 100 or nothing. But just like before, I'm severely humbled. That one topic I decided not to go through due to time constraints somehow finds itself as the compulsory question, costing twenty marks out of sixty. I have to pick 3 questions out of 5. I only fully answer one; the second one is a lose-lose situation. It's a battle of which question has more things I don't know.

All in all, I walk out of that paper banking on the grace of the final exam. And that's just my morning paper.

Midway through the exam, I give up. I'm broken, tired, hungry, and in need of some therapy. I answer all the questions just to fill in the blanks, hoping my lecturer will appreciate my effort and give me marks for even attempting.

During the small two-hour break, I shift gears and focus on my next paper, using up whatever energy I have left. Not because I have any hope, but because I know I don't have the mental strength to mourn two papers.

Some people may call it toxic positivity; I call it perseverance.

After my last paper of the day, I go straight to my room, fling myself on my bed like a fish out of water, and snuggle into the blanket. The whole time, Hayden just sits there, studying, paying no attention to me.

Not looking up from her screen, she asks, "Rough day?"

I let out an exhausted breath and slowly face her. "More like a rough week."

"I get that." I send her a look. She knows full well that she and I are not going through the same thing. Her lowest grade in her first test is my highest. She breaks away from her screen and smiles comfortingly, adding, "Don't give up. You have a day left of stress with two days in between to study; you'll be fine."

I roll away from her, letting out a frustrated breath in the process. "After this is done, I'm treating myself. I deserve it for having the grace to even put myself through this mental torture." She lets out a low huff. "It's true, and you know it."

She turns her attention back to her laptop, mumbling, "Whatever makes you happy."

"But for now, it's back to the books." I take a breath, push myself up, and then stretch my aching back. I then stuff whatever material I need into a bag.

I walk over to Hayden and tap her shoulder, signalling my leave. She looks at me, surprised. "Already?"

"Yeah, it's either that or sleep... and we both know which one I would rather be doing."

"I get that. All the best," she smiles encouragingly.

"Thanks... If you happen to find me when you get back from your paper, don't be quick to judge. I'll probably be resting my eyes."

She chuckles slightly, "Okay." With that, I'm off to the library. Which, to no surprise, is very empty. I take this as a sign and head right back to my bed.

*******

I walk out of my last paper feeling like a champion. Unlike the others, I actually know something this time. Keeping my promise to myself, I head straight to the bus stop, ready to treat myself to a well-deserved lunch.

I make my way to my favourite burger place and indulge until I'm too full to move. Knowing my limits, I book a cab back for that exact reason.

As I walk up to my building, I notice the strange looks people are giving me. In their defence, I'd probably look at someone the same way if they walked in with an untucked shirt, half-zipped jeans, and a waddling gait like they're carrying triplets. But I don't care. I'm happy, and that's all that matters.

Once back in my room, I collapse onto my bed and black out.

A while later, the bathroom door bursts open, and Hayden strides out, saying, "Tae, I'm heading out for a club meeting. You coming?"

I barely turn, facing the wall instead, mumbling, "No," as I drift off to sleep.

**Hayden's P.O.V**

I look at the poor creature sprawled out on her bed, resembling a dead squirrel. The idiot's so exhausted she's forgotten to cover up. Sighing, I pull the sheets over her and then make my way out.

I arrive at the small music room with a wide smile, aiming to loghten the mood.

I intend to sit near the stage, but as soon as I lock eyes with Sebastian, who has the sane idea as me, I make a U-turn and plop down next to Willow. Ever since he turned me down, I've never quite mustered the courage to talk to him, even though he did it in a way that didn't really hurt my feelings.

Willow kicks things off with a corny joke. "I would ask how midterms went, but judging by the attendance, I already have my answer."

I glance around. There are just five of us here. Four I already know, and then there's the new guy, Andre.

Willow looks exhausted yet energetic at the same time. Sebastian seems lost in another world, probably replaying all the answers he could've written, and Andre... well, he looks like he's given up on school altogether. Suwi, however, is as chipper as ever.

Willow continues, "Since we're all in dire need of rest, I won't keep you long. As club leader, I thought this would be a great time to officially kick off club events. Starting with, drum roll, please..." She pauses dramatically. "Cabbage Week!" Her excitement echoes through the room, met with small, half-hearted claps.

She gives me a warm smile and adds, "I'll provide more details later, but I just wanted to give you a heads-up so you can plan ahead. Well, if no one has anything else to add, we're done here."

Sebastian snaps out of his trance and nods. Suwi is the first out the door, followed by Andre, leaving me, Willow, and Seb. They quickly cosy up in a corner.

I put on my detective hat and pretend to gather my things, all the while watching them.

At first, things seem innocent enough. They're chatting by the piano, a decent distance between them, talking about their week and whatnot. I let out a small sigh of relief-until I hear Willow giggle like a four-year-old.

My attention snaps back to them. At this point, it's obvious I'm watching, but they're too distracted to notice.

Willow says something flirtatious, takes a step closer, casually runs a hand through Seb's hair, and then rests it on his chest.

I frown and scoff loud enough for them to hear. Fuming, I push past the instruments and march over to them.

Willow sees me first, and her smile falters slightly. "Hayden... what are you still doing here?" she asks cheerfully, though there's a slight edge to her tone.

I roll my eyes, ignoring her question, and turn to face Sebastian. "Could you excuse us for a moment? I need a word with Mr R.A."

Sebastian looks a bit confused, which only irritates me more. He shares a glance with Willow before politely asking her to leave. She hesitates at first, but with a bit more nudging, she finally goes.

Once she's gone, I launch my attack.

Seb turns to me with a bright smile. "What's up?" he asks.

My frown deepens. This fool has the audacity to smile. "Wipe that smile off your face," I snap. He drops it immediately and raises an eyebrow. I continue, "Shameless people like you don't deserve to smile."

He quickly cuts in, "Excuse me?"

He gets up to meet my glare, but I stand my ground. "You heard me!" I laugh, but it's full of irony. "Thinking back now, I wonder how I ever had a crush on you. So embarrassing."

He places a hand on his hip and runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "Could we back up for a minute? Because I'm confused. Where is this coming from?"

I exhale heavily. "Playing dumb, are we? That's your defence?"

"I am not playing dumb!" He creates some distance, walking over to a window.

"Guys like you make my mouth bitter," I spit out, disgusted.

His face hardens, and the energy in the room darkens. He takes a few intimidating steps back towards me, and I feel my courage waver slightly.

He stops just close enough to tower over me and says, low and controlled, "Hayden, I'm going to say this as nicely as I possibly can." He pauses, breathing out deeply. "Stop acting like a child, throwing around baseless accusations-"

"Don't insult me," I quickly cut in.

He sighs slightly, a small smile tugging at his lips. "When you're ready to have a real conversation, let me know." He turns to walk away.

"I'm only going to say this once, so you'd better listen up." He stops by the door, looking at me with a straight face. I continue, "Look, what you're doing to Tae-eul isn't okay. On the outside, she may seem like a lot, but that's only because she doesn't know how to express herself sometimes. Yes, she may have puked on you-"

"Twice," he cuts in.

I feel the second-hand embarrassment hit me. "That's not the point!"

"What is the point? Why am I here, Hayden?"

"You're here because you're a sleaze who couldn't keep it in his pants. Yeah, she vomited on you, but that doesn't give you the right to play with her feelings!"

"I-"

"Don't even try to deny it. I know you know." I plant my hands on my hips, glaring at him. "Go on, defend yourself."

He tucks a hand into his pocket and laughs, almost doubling over with amusement. "So that's what this is about? Why didn't you just say that from the start?"

"What's so funny?" I snap back.

"You're not even denying it." He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off again.

"I saw you two yesterday. It's very clear that you want to explore something with her. If you have any decency left, I'm begging you, let her go if your plan is to play her. Do it before she gets attached."

He wears the expression of someone who couldn't care less about what I'm saying. "First of all, I have no plan to play her. Despite what you think, I actually like her."

"So I was imagining the whole thing with Willow?"

He rolls his eyes and composes himself. "There is no thing with Willow."

"So I imagined all that hair-touching and chest-grazing?"

"Yes," he replies flatly, "We were just talking. Friends aren't allowed to talk now?" I snicker and look away. Sensing my resistance to respond, he continues, "Second of all, whether or not Willow and I were flirting, which we weren't, shouldn't matter. Your sister has made it clear more than once that she has no interest in me and would never have interest in me. In her own words, 'I'd rather bargain my way into sisterhood than date you.'"

He sends me a snarky smile, and my mouth starts to go dry. However, I keep my expression the same. "That doesn't change anything. That's not an excuse to be a shameless flirt."

He lets out an exasperated breath. "We weren't flirting," he says, emphasising each word. "Willow is, and will always be, my best friend."

"For all I know, she could just be one in a long list."

He looks insulted. "How low do you think of me?" The look I give tells him everything.

"Fine. You've already made up your mind about me, and there's nothing I can do to change that. But remember, Tae-eul rejected me. Like you said, I've made my intentions very clear, multiple times. Before, I thought it was because she just wasn't interested. But now," he pauses, his eyes lighting up, signalling a shift in gears. "I know that's far from the truth."

My blood runs cold and my body stiffens as I take in the seriousness of the situation. Panicked, I turn to him and do what I do best-threaten. "This conversation never happened."

He lets out a dark chuckle. "Yes, it did."

Fear begins to stir in my stomach as the thought of her reaction crosses my mind. "If you breathe a word of this to her, it'll be the last thing you say." Before he can reply, I grab my things and get out of there as fast as I can.

I walk over to my car, shaking frantically. I'm already bad at keeping secrets, and the thought of keeping this one is eating me up, but I vow never to let her know that I practically confessed her love for him.

I get into my car and scream as loud as I can because I've messed up, badly. And Tae is going to do worse than kill me.

I take multiple breaths to calm myself and plaster a large smile on my face.

Even though I hate it, I know deep down that I have to tell her. If I don't tell her before he does, it'll be an even bigger problem.

Nevertheless, I won't do it before I take myself out for one last hurrah. If today really is my last day, I need to enjoy it to the fullest.

I make sure to see all the tourist attractions I can. I then take myself to a spa and get the full treatment. I have one last shopping spree, a gourmet dinner, attend one final party, drink as much as I can, kiss some random guys, and end the night with a final call to my parents to tell them how much I love them.

I purposely head back to my room around four a.m., hoping she'll be asleep. I lightly jiggle the keys and push the door open.

I'm met with a dark room, and my nerves ease a little. I whisper, "Thank God," and drop my keys onto my bed.

Tae shifts in her bed and turns to face me, revealing a fully awake person. I mentally curse those fantasy books.

She yawns slightly and then adds, "You're late. Well, later than usual. Anything interesting happen?"

I scoff nervously, "No, nothing at all. Well, unless you heard something. What did you hear?"

She sits up, leaning against the wall. "Relax, I've been here all day. Should I have heard something?"

"Of course not!" I say, my voice evidently shaky.

She frowns slightly. "Hayden, what did you do?"

"I-I..." I stammer.

She insists, "Hayden..."

For a moment, I contemplate telling her the truth, but the look she's giving me shuts that part of me down immediately. I blurt out, "Nope," grab my car keys, and head for the door. She tries to run after me, but I'm already at the entrance of the building by the time she reaches the door.

I stay with a friend for the night and the next few nights after that. Call me a coward, but I'm doing this for the sake of my survival.