Han Jisung p.o.v.

Changbin tried to calm me down for several minutes but I couldn't tell him what happened in the elevator. I felt stupid to be so angry about such a trivial thing. To be angry about Lee Know and his behavior. 

He is not important to me, after all.

After having a coffee at the agency machines, I went back to the dance room and sat silently in a corner to observe the others. I'm trying to mentally review the steps. I can't lag behind the members.

But instead of thinking about memorizing the choreography, I find myself staring at Lee Know's body. I've seen him dance so many times, though I never realized how good he is at dancing.

And I hate to admit it.

And I hate not being able to take my eyes off him.

His movements are precise, sinuous, sensual. He has a lot of strength in his legs, but he also has a great muscle control in his arms and core. 

His hands are big and I blush slightly thinking of his touch on my thighs as he checked where I was hurt yesterday.

I shake my head and look away.

What the hell I'm thinking about?

You're just jealous of him, Han. He's older than you and you want him to approve you as an idol, because you're fucking insecure.

That's why you stare at him like that.

Nothing else.

It's another morning and I'm in front of this damn elevator, again.

I really can't get into it, not alone at least. I look around, hoping that some other person should use it but obviously at this moment there is no one in this goddamn agency.

Then I cross two dark eyes. Just the ones I was hoping to avoid this morning, enough to get out of the dorm earlier then usual.

Why didn't I ask Felix to go together? So silly, Han!

Lee Know walks up to me, keeping his eyes on my figure:

«How's the thigh?»

He is calm. He is acting as if I didn't yell at him yesterday.

I know I exaggerated, but he really pissed me off, so I don't want to apologize. Now I've two options: to answer badly like a jerk or to pretend nothing has happened, like him.

My instinct would really like to send him to shit, but I take a deep breath and answer:

«I'm okay.»

He raises an eyebrow: «Oh, really? Then, we can take the stairs.» he smirks.

What an asshole.

«Go up the stairs, if you prefer» I mutter without looking at him.

I really don't know how to get out of this situation now. I'm about to make up my mind to go into the elevator alone, when I feel his hand grab my forearm. I look up and meet his eyes.

«What are y-»

«Han, let's start over.»

He looks at me with a face that does not seem ironic, there is no sign of his usual grin or his arrogance.

Am I dreaming? Is he really asking me to start over?

I can't say a word. I just stare at him with a stupid face.

«I just want the best for the group, Han. Chan gets stressed out to see us fighting...» he continues.

Oh, so, that's the reason. Now it makes sense.

«And I don't want you to go alone in the elevator.» he adds, entering it and gently pulling me with him. He pushes the button to take us to the upper floors.

Why is my heart beating faster? He just said he doesn't want me to go alone, like If I were a stupid child.

I look at him and I feel the anger rise again:

«So you want me to help you get rid of your guilt for being an asshole a whole year, mh?» I burst out, poisonous. 

He sighs: «As you want, Han, I tried at least.» and he walks away from the elevator, which has just opened.

Fuck, maybe I missed a chance.

Today we are in the recording room, luckily I'm not going to dance.

Lee Know is in the soundproofed area, wearing the big headphones and repeating the English phrases of the chorus. He is not good at all in English and singing is perhaps his only weakness. He doesn't sing badly, for sure, but he's very insecure about his voice.

This is the fifth time he has tried to record that verse and Chan is trying to calm him down by giving him advice on pronunciation. But Chan and Felix are Australian, they have a very particular accent, while the other members are not good at English anyway.

«I am really sorry, guys...» Lee Know bites his lower lip and he seems to have completely lost his concentration. He doesn't want to be a burden to the group.

I can't stand seeing someone struggling like this so I get up from my seat near Chan and enter the room.

He looks at me confused, he almost seems to have tears in his eyes, and the reality show still comes to my mind. He was so scared, so insecure then.

«Let's sing it together a couple of times.» I say, without thinking about it yet.

The members outside look at us perplexed: yesterday we were about to slaughter and today I help him. That's really weird.

But that's okay, I mean we both are weird.

«O-okay...» he stutters.

I put on a pair of headphones and try to sing the chorus by myself, so that he can understand how it should be sung. I'm the writer of this song, after all.

He looks at me fascinated. I know he envies my voice, but he would never admit it.

I finish the piece a cappella and watch him, smiling:

«Ready?»

He nods and we sing together. He has a sweet voice and this song's part seems to have been written for him.

While singing, he looks at me once in a while, then quickly looks away. He's still not very confident but after two rehearsals, he tries the chorus again by himself. And he succeeds. 

Chan smiles at me and the other members cheer too, complimenting Lee Know.

He looks at me but says nothing. And that's okay, I don't want thanks or awards. I've never wanted any.

I just want him to not hate me.

. - . - . - .

Authors place:

I'm here again.

Just wanna know how are u doing, beauties? Are u okay? 

Hope you like this chap, a little longer from others. <3 

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