Han Jisung p.o.v.

I'm destroyed. Not only the tour has been exhausting, but I couldn't even sleep well. Every time I closed my eyes, I've dreamed of Lee Know. 

I can't lie, I miss him. I miss him so much.

But I wouldn't know what to say to him now, I don't know how to behave with him anymore after... that kiss.

I have so much confusion in my head...

I want to go back to Seoul, I long for those 3 days break that wait for us like they are lifeblood. And they are. I'm so tired that I can't even be worried for the crowd in the airport.

I put on my headphones and arrive at the plane without too many hitches, escorted by Changbin and Chan again. But when I see the size of the aircraft, however, my thoughts instantly go to him.

What should I do? I don't want to leave him alone for this long flight. Deep down he's still my member, even if I'm angry with him. But after ignoring him for days, it would be absurd to show up there to help him. He would send me away.

I glance at Chan, who is looking at Lee Know with concern. He then looks me back and seems to immediately understand my inner conflict. He nods, he's telling me to go to him.

Lee Know is seated away from the window and I nervously approach him. He looks at me with an impassive gaze, but I know he's puzzled.

«Can I-» 

«You don't have to» he interrupts me, cutting me short. He looked away, avoiding eye contact.

«I know I don't have to.» I talk again, «But I want.»

He looks at me again, his eyes are cold as ice. They remind me of those from a few months ago, when he used to be mean with me.

«And why? I don't want your pity.» he says, spitting venom. 

«It's actually because I miss you...» I say in a whisper, «Please, can we talk?» I sit next to him, not waiting for an answer.

He sighs but doesn't says anything. He looks away, so as not to meet my gaze.

I'm intimidated: this Minho really scares me. But I don't want to give up. I know that beneath this hard shell, his heart is pure.

And I know he misses me too.

The aircraft powers up and begins to move towards the runway. Minho stiffens. I take his hand, but he moves it away, unfriendly.

«Min, please. I'm begging you.» I feel my eyes water.

«You didn't let me help you when you were in pain» he says.

«I know, I was wrong.» I admit, straight to the point.

I know I tend to push everyone away when I'm suffering. And I know I pushed him away because he messed with my squirrel brain.

I grab his hand again and this time he doesn't rebel.

He doesn't look at me anyway but he lets my hands caress him. I can't whisper in his ear like the first intercontinental flight, I do not feel like it, but I rest my head on his shoulder and keep stroking him, hoping that's enough.

The flight continues peacefully, for 10 hours my hand remains in Minho's, even when I fall asleep for a couple of hours or while we are eating a sandwich. I just want his fingers intertwined with mine. And I think he wants the same.

It's not all over, I can feel it. I'm still mad at him, mostly because that was my first kiss, but I'm not sure I'm so displeased it was with him. I just have to clarify my feelings.

Moreover I don't know what the kiss has meant to him, what I mean to him.

And I'm afraid, I'm terribly afraid of losing everything we've worked for.

I'm relaxing, enjoying some solitude after all the chaos of the tour.

Silence, my bed, anime... Peace.

But I haven't heard from Lee Know in two days and, I have to admit, I already miss him.

I miss watching movies with him, I miss hearing him call me 'jagi', I even miss his teasing.

I keep asking myself: does he miss me too? Or does he hate me again?

He hasn't written to me, he hasn't looked for me since we've came back in Seoul. I'm too used to his attentions, I don't know how to take the first step. I'm afraid he won't answer me.

He seemed happy to sit near me on the plane, but I treated him really bad after the kiss. He sobbed all night in front of my door and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't get out of my bed, I couldn't bear to look into his eyes after running away like that.

I feel so guilty about that night, but I would like to fix things. I would like to have him back.

Today is already the third day of rest. I keep staring at his contact on my cell phone and sighing. 

"Come on, Han, you want to see him so badly. Don't be a wimp!"

I finally make up my mind. I miss him too much.

"Hey, do you want to come here?" I wrote, biting nervously my nails.

God, how pathetic you are, Han.

"On my way"

What? 

His answer shocked me. I didn't think he would be so easy to convince! Maybe he's bored or maybe he really misses me.

I feel hope rising in my heart. 

I sniff myself and decide to change my clothes and freshen my face. 

Since when do I worry about these things with my members?

He arrives shortly. He's wearing a simple gym suit, his hair is messed up but he's as handsome as ever. He looks like he came out of a k-drama even when he just wake up.

«Hey...» he looks at me, in his eyes I read agitation and... is that hope?

«Hey!» I tell back, «Come in.»

We find ourselves in my room, sitting on opposite sides of my bed, enveloped in a strange unconfortable silence.

«I'd like to apologize» I start, his eyes meet mine quickly.

«I'm the one who should apologize and-»

I reach out to him and I place a finger on his lips to shut him up. He blushes slightly, surprised by my move.

«Please, listen to me» I ask.

He nods and I take my finger away from his soft lips. I swallow remembering the sensation of having them on mine.

«That was my first kiss, Min.» I explain, scratching my nose. I explain, scratching my nose.Not  that I'm too old-fashioned, but I wanted it to mean something.» 

He seems to have something to say, but he sighs and waits for me to finish.

«I didn't expect you would do it, you took me by surprise, but I reacted too badly. When you cried outside my room I felt terrible but I didn't know what to say, what to do. I was angry. I didn't want to be a toy boy for you and that's how I reacted. I'm really sorry, Min.»

He looks at me, blinking, and he realizes it's his turn to speak.

«Do you think you are a toy boy for me, Han?» he asks, in a serious tone.

«I really don't know» I admit, looking at my fingers. I'm afraid he's angry because of my words.

«I see.» he sighs instead. I look up to cross his eyes.

«I have a very strange and ambiguous way of expressing affection, I know that.» he explains, «But I would never use you, Han. I was wrong, I got caught up in the moment, I misunderstood what you were saying, the adrenaline, everything... I'm sorry. I didn't have to do it.» 

Part of me aches to hear him say he shouldn't have kissed me. I wonder what I wanted to hear, that he loves me? That he can't live without me?

Silly, Han.

It's obvious that there is a little physical attraction between us, but we're just friends. And it's better that way.

I nod and smile, handing him my pinky finger:

«Are we ok now?» I ask.

He smiles back and intertwines his finger with mine: «We are.» he says with soft eyes.

And damn how much I love that look. He makes me feel like I'm important, like I'm beautiful, like I'm really worth something to him. His dark irises shine like a sky full of stars.

I look away, so as not to get lost in his eyes, and I grab the tv remote.

I lay back on my bed, ready for a movie night with Minho. I feel lighter now that we've sorted it out, but why then do I have this lump in my throat?

«Han?»

I watch him, with a questioning face. He is still sitting next to me. Why doesn't he lie down?

«I really mean it: I won't leave you.» he says.

His eyes go straight to my soul, caressing it and hugging it. That eyes are whispering to my heart"I'll protect you". 

I smile and nod, deeply moved by his deep gaze and his promise. I feel my eyes almost tingling, but I can't cry.

«I won't leave you either again, Min.»

. - . - . - . 

Author's safe place:

Hey beauties, thanks for the vote and the support!! It really means a lot to me!!

So here is the chap as promised! Hope you like this too!! Ready for what's next? 

Next chap: In two days or when we reach 18 stars and 20 comments!!!

L

P.S. Have u already seen Sound trailer? <3 The visuals omg