Lee Know p.o.v.

Our tour started 3 days ago and tonight there will be the last Seoul concert. After that, we will go to Tokyo and then to LA. I can't deny that I'm so excited.

We are in the dressing room now, getting ready for the show. Chan is silent, like always before concerts. He likes to relax and focus, he said once. The total opposite of Han and Changbin, that are singing and screaming like they were the only two in the entire building. 

I'm quietly eating a pudding. I was on a too strict diet before the comeback so I was really craving one today.

After I finish it, trying to ignore the rappers' noises, I see Jeongin lying on the couch next to me.

What a perfect chance for a butt hunter!

I slap him with my left hand but he doesn't even faze, he keeps watching a Youtube video on his phone. He's so used to my slaps, I have to change my prey.

I glance at Han. He has stopped to sing and he is watching me with a strange look in the eyes.

Lately he seems upset everytime I slap someone. I like to think that he's jealous. And I can't stop thinking how slapping his cute little bum could be.

He tries to hold my gaze, while drinking from a bottle of water. I wave him over, confusing him even more.

«What?» he asks, annoyed, without moving an inch.

«Come here, Prince» I order.

He blushes hard and he starts coughing, the water must have gone the wrong way.

«Don't call me like that!» he manages to exclaim, as soon as the cough subsides. His round wide eyes stare at me, he's angry. 

«Why? Do you prefer 'jagi'?» I ask, playing dumb.

He slams the bottle on the table, attracting the gazes of the other members, and approaches me.

«'Prince' is the name for my partner to call me and I'm not your jagi, so stop being a jerk!»

Ops, he's really pissed this time.

«Han!» Chan scolds him. He really hates listening to quarrels before a show, that's not good for the members mood.

«Why do you always scold me?!» Han raises his voice to Chan too, his eyes are watering, «He's provoking me all the time! He doesn't respect me at all!» he adds, pointing at me.

I feel a pang in my heart. Why did he say I don't respect him? I was just kidding...    

Chan turns to me, he's really mad:

«Lee Know, how old are you? Could you please stop making him angry?»

He's right. We are spoiling the mood of everybody before a concert. To be more precise, I am spoiling everyone's mood.

Chan helped me through every difficult moment, he welcomed me into the group as if I was a younger brother, even though he is only a year older than me. How can I do this to him?

I've always wanted him to let me help him, to give me a piece of the weight he carries on his shoulders every day. But I'm demonstrating that I'm not reliable right now.

I'm a bad member for everyone if I start a fight before a concert just for fun. 

«I'm sorry.» I say watching Chan with serious eyes. He sighs and my mortified face seems to be enough for him.

Then I turns to Han. I'm a bad hyung if I push him in this direction and if I make him feel disrespected.

«I didn't mean to disrespect you. Believe me, Han.» I start, crossing his eyes, «I was just joking, but I crossed the line.»

I look at him with a sincerely sorry look and offer him my pinky finger: «Could you forgive me?»  

He looks at me like if I were a ghost. He moves his eyes quickly between my face and my hand and swallows. I know that also the others are puzzled from my unusual attitude.

«O-okay, don't worry...» he mumbles, watching the floor. He is turning shy and this is my favorite Han's side at all.

I move my finger again, I want him to grab it.

He looks up and watch me suspiciously:

«Promise not to call me 'Prince' anymore?» he asks, looking straight into my eyes.

I nod: «Unless you ask me»

He reaches out his little finger and crosses it with mine. I smile at him forgetting the others people around us for a moment. His face is a mixture of surprise, anger and relief right now and his eyes are absorbing me completely. He blushes slightly because of that intense moment and I smile a little.

Then I notice that the room is wrapped in silence. The members are looking at us, almost holding their breath.

«Did you enjoy the show, guys?» I ask, laughing. Han blushes again and quickly comes off my hand. Changbin applauds amazed, trying to cheer up the mood.

«They should cast you for a k-drama!» Hyunjin adds, laughing too.

Han sits back next to Changbin, away from me, and closes his eyes. He usually takes a nap before a concert; even in all this mess, with members and staff around, he manages to sleep. I don't know how he could.

The hall remains silent for half an hour. You can hear Changbin and Felix laughing while watching some videos, Seungmin warming his voice in a corner, while Hyunjin is eating some chips.

Until it's time to go behind the scenes, again.

I position myself next to Han and tap his shoulder to get his attention. In the dark area behind the stage I see his face turning to me, with a questioning expression.

«Are you okay, Hanie?» 

He nods, glad to hear me calling him like others do.

«Shine, Han. Let's amaze them as we always do.» I add, smiling at him.

His face lights up and he nods convinced. I watch him enter the stage before me and I follow him, as scheduled.

The screams of the STAYs invade us and we fall into that magic atmosphere that is impossible to describe. That emotion we've worked for through these years, each of us with different paths, and that made us fight to get here.

The concert goes great, we really enjoy every moments together. Han often approaches me, looking for a contact, improvising a ballet that I find myself imitating without even thinking about it.

We understand each other and that's it. When we don't talk, we get each other perfectly.

The concert is ending and the STAYs have prepared a gift for us. They project a video to thank us for our work, our music, our commitment. And dozens of paper planes start to be launched onto the stage.

We look at each other, we still do not understand what is happening. I almost feel overwhelmed. I bend over to pick up one of those little airplanes and read the contents:

Thank you to all of you to make us smile with your jokes and attitudes!

We really love you, guys

I look up and send a heart out to the audience. I see my members collect and read little planes too. Felix is already sobbing his heart out and Han is going to him for a big hug, while Seungmin covers his face with his hands.

I know the staff always ask us to excite the STAYs, to make moving speeches, but... Those tears are real. I'm sure about that.

Han starts crying too, whining cutely. I want to hug him but he's already surrounded by Chan and Changbin, who know how to take care of him better than me.

I grab another paper plane:

Guys, I love you so much. Please take care of the youngers, especially Han.

He's so sensitive. You have to protect him, no matter what.

Love you 

This message amazes me more than the others. STAYs are so attentive that they could notice how sensitive Han is, instead of me. I meet him everyday and I didn't realize it until recently.

I feel my eyes itch, but I won't cry. I'm not used to crying in front of everyone.

I slip the sheet of paper into my pocket and I giggle to hold back the tears. Chan embrace me and he pulls me closer to the others.

I don't know how, but we end up in group hug. I feel a warmth that I didn't think I could ever feel. I know that we share too much - sacrifices, tears and sweat - not to feel part of a family, despite our differences... but I didn't expect this much from my group. I'm feeling lucky.

In the middle of the group hug, I meet Han's eyes, filled with tears. I smile at him and softly stroke his hair.

He's too shocked to shrink from my touch, he needs affection now. Even from me.

You have to protect him no matter what.

I promise, Han, I will protect you. No matter what.

. - . - . - .

Author's safe space:

Here I am, hope you like this chap and leave me some comments!! I really enjoy to know what you think reading my stories!!

In my house 2 people have covid right now, so I'm writing a lot these days. I write until chapter 23 and I'm almost thinking to an end. Maybe we will arrive at 30 chap, more or less

Thank you so much for all the support!

Next chapter when this one reach 20 stars! (Let's try ahaha)

L <3