I woke up the next morning, on the new sofa with a slightly stiff neck and funny taste in my mouth that wasn't related to the blow job I'd given Logan last night. In contrast, my body felt warm with a satisfied content. A dull ache throbbed the less I wondered if a walk of shame was possible from within my own place and the more I replayed us in the shower last night in my mind.

Was that wrong? It felt so good, but shit, if I'm asking then it must have been.

I wasn't at all embarrassed by what we'd done and, if anything, I wanted to do it over and over, plus more. The digger I dug down though, I surfaced the reason that fueled my reactions. The fact that jealousy instigated by other girls who'd probably offered Logan the same services drove my and his physical intimacy rose bile up the back of my throat.

Am I just like them?

Should I -

"Ellie?" Logan stepped out of the bedroom, fully dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt for class.

In place of his normal smirk, his mouth pulled into a true, genuine smile that flashed not just his teeth but a rare, more modest, and dare I guessed shy, side of Logan. When relaxed and calm, not an ounce of his usual cockiness, he really was the most handsome guy I'd ever seen.

And I'll give him ten more blow jobs to see that truly happy smile.

My own smile faded as my earlier doubts related to last night resurfaced. While he approached me, I studied him for any sign or hint that he was uncomfortable but came up short. In fact, the only reactions stirred inside me were a quickened heartbeat and warmth in my cheeks.

We should talk about it though. At least clear my mental air.

"I'm sorry, Logan," I blurted out right away and sat upright on the sofa. My lower lip rolled under and I mentally facepalmed myself at the idea he assumed I regretted last night because that's exactly what my words implied.

"For last night?" Just like I'd feared, that beautiful smile faded, his forehead tensed, and he raked one hand through his hair. "Sorry, I shouldn't have stripped down like my clothes were on fire. I was teasing and thought at one point maybe we should've stopped, but -"

"Oh gosh, you regret it?" I cringed at that idea and pressed my hands into my now extremely warm cheeks.

"What? No. No." He sat down next to me, grabbed my hands, and pulled them in between us. With a firm but gentle squeeze of his thumbs into my palms, he emphasized, "No. But I'd be lying if I didn't have extra satisfaction in knowing I got more than James... or any other guy you feel like dating around with."

My shoulders slumped at the sting in his words, which weren't wrong, combined with the irritation that threaded between them.

"I don't want any other guy," I muttered with a returned hand squeeze and a smile I couldn't have held back if I'd tried. "But I... me too."

Before he answered, my word vomit took over and I rushed out, "I enjoyed it, a lot. I mean, really really enjoyed it but I'm sorry. I guess we should've talked first."

Stop rambling, Ellie.

"We are moving ass-backwards a little, but I get it. I am pretty irresistible, especially naked." He flashed me a brief smirk before one of his hands smoothed a messy strand of hair across my forehead. His voice was soft and eyes serious when he added, "Seriously though, I'm trying to go at your pace here Ellie, but the mixed signals aren't helping."

"I know, you're right." I sighed quietly because, again, he was right and the truth hurt. "I'm a mess. You're perfect and who I want, I just -"

His loud, hearty laugh cut me off. "Far from it, Ellie. I left so I didn't smash James' teeth into chicklets. And believe me, that sorority house, with them, was the last place I wanted to be."

Me too, more ways than one.

I only sat silently and studied his expression. Ocean blue irises circled around my uneasy reflection in his black pupils, his jaw and forehead both slacked, and only a tiny lift upwards in the corners of his mouth changed his expression from completely impassive to kind. In other words, he wore no signs that he teased or hadn't meant what he said, so I just nodded.

"I appreciate what you said though." Logan surprised me in how he leaned forwards, then pressed his lips gently into my forehead. His voice vibrated into my skin when he added, "I want to be with you too and not just like last night, although it was incredible."

"Logan..." My face practically broke in half from how hard I smiled. With very few words, he'd managed to calm down my nerves and assured me that I wasn't completely batshit crazy. "Me too, not just because your fingers are better than mine."

With just a slight pullback, his pupils were larger and that smirk was back. His breath swirled with the normal cockiness in his voice, both of which fanned over my nose and cheeks when he said, "You're pretty sexy when you're jealous though."

"I am not." I frowned since no part of me liked how that felt and now fully understood how much I must've hurt him with the friend dates. "In the shower that was mostly jealousy-driven but I really don't regret being with you like that. Not sure if it makes sense but I don't regret that part, just that I let myself get affected by other people and I'm sorry for that."

"Good, because I feel the same." He slipped one thumb up under my chin and directed my gaze upwards, then traced a soft line over my lower lip. "Next time we get that far, we'll talk first if we need to."

I wasn't sure which elevated my heartrate more, that we had more feelings to talk through, or the fact he'd slipped an implied 'when' attached to 'next time.' But since I appreciated how we'd cleared up any potential awkwardness, my arms reached up and clutched his neck tightly.

"Thank you." I whispered, pressed my lips into his cheek, and brought that smile back to his handsome face.

After the disaster of a not-date with James and morning-after affirmation from Logan, my priority today was that I bailed on Seth. I stopped by the stadium at the end of practice after my library shift. Logan was still on the field but Wes' brown eyes threw me a surprised look when I grabbed Seth's arm and pulled him aside outside the locker room.

"Seth, I can't come to the movies tonight." I looked him straight in his eyes. "I have too much homework and a tutoring session, maybe another time."

I was completely honest, a last-minute tutoring session popped into my schedule this morning. So once I was done here, I was needed back at the library.

"That's cool," he spoke in an even tone but I definitely caught disappointment in his eyes for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry." I dropped his arm and one of my hands twisted the other gently while I fought an urge that my fingers snapped the hair band I'd purposely left off my wrist.

After James obviously had different feelings than mine, Logan hadn't actually said 'I told you so,' at any point but he'd been exactly right. Apparently I needed one disaster of a situation before I realized how important Logan was and I wasn't without a support system of friends. Monday night's visit with Monique and Darrius proved that, even Wes' concerned look and how Charlie asked me to call or stop by their apartment tonight if I was available.

A welt of guilt formed in my throat, not for bailing on the movies because I really did have a tutoring session that came up today, but I hadn't wanted him led on either.

With a quick breath, I blurted out, "We're just friends right?"

"Sure, Ellie." Seth's brown eyes swirled with an unreadable emotion, then he bent down towards me. Right when his mouth's proximity approached, I stepped backwards and shot him a tight smile with a hardened gaze that I hoped showed I was a serious and definite 'no thanks.'

"Message received," he muttered and stepped into the locker room. "Just friends..."

My eyes fixated on his tall, muscular frame as it retreated from my sight and revealed another set of eyes on me. Warmth spread through my chest at the dark, curious gaze Darrius sent me.

"You okay, Miss Ellie?" He called out with one hand squeezed around the door handle.

"Yeah, thanks." I nodded slightly and my smile suddenly felt more natural, less forced. "I won't be going to the movies, sorry."

Right when I turned to leave, my body jolted at the closeness of someone else I almost ran into. A twitch pulled one corner of my mouth at the blue eyes caked in heavy makeup that flashed at me. With one finger curled around her shoulder-length dirty blonde hair, Lydia's gaze roamed over my appearance like I was a piece of gum that had gotten wedged under the sole of her shoe.

"Still stalking Logan, huh?" Her cool, even tone and icy glare masked the annoyance she must've felt at how I'd taken away her boy-toy of the night.

"I'm surprised you were sober enough that you remember anything from last night," I shot back with the rush of reactions this bitch always brought out in me.

"You don't get it." Her blue eyes rolled at me. "You've already shown your true nature, Ellie. Shy, meek, prude. And quitter, you did us Zetas a favor."

"All I did was come to my senses about who my real friends are, which definitely isn't you." I stepped closer to her, until we were inchest apart. My fists squeezed tight but I refused to blink until I gave her a piece of my mind.

Not usually one for confrontation, I felt better than expected and continued without a blink at her pretty but pretentious face, "Just because I wouldn't do your stupid hazing shit actually makes me a better person than you. You're so desperate but it's not going to work. Logan doesn't want you."

"You'll regret interfering, Ellie," she snarled and narrowed her eyes into two slits at me. "But he would never want you."

My lips twitched with the truth about me and Logan, in particular how he seemed pretty satisfied after I'd been the one who sucked him off last night, not her. But right when my lips parted, I realized she'd baited me, then fished for information.

That's all she does, gossip. Well, she's not getting any out of me.

"What are you going to do, spread gossip about me?" My eyebrows raised and I bit back a smile. "Not going to work this time, I don't care."

"You should care about your reputation," she retorted as her tone shifted from irritated to eerily calm, which concerned me more than if she was just pissed off.

"Already told the entire campus I'm a prude, Lydia, can't do much worse than that." I rolled and stepped away from her, but not before I tossed over my shoulder, "At least you have one hobby other than spreading your legs for whoever walks in front of your house."

"Not over Ellie," she yelled back at me.

"Of course not," I muttered to myself. As I shook my head at her antics, I couldn't shake the sense that she was anything but done with me, or worse, Logan.