The quiet sound the door click made behind me sounded deafening in the silence that filled our apartment, like Wes had sucked all the life out of the small space. The fact that someone who, at one point, knew me better than I knew myself now stood right in front of me hit me like a smack in the face. The reminder crashed into the reality that I hadn't seen him in two years and wasn't sure how much he'd changed. The resulting impact left me stunned silent and I just gaped at him like a fan who'd met their favorite celebrity.

The longer Logan and I stared at each other and the more weight I felt from his intensely beautiful ocean blue eyes, the thicker and more uncomfortable the airspace between us became.

So awkward. Say something, Ellie. Anything.

I mentally facepalmed myself when I also realized that, despite an extremely embarrassing dildo discovery, I hadn't actually said hi to the guy.

"Oh gosh." My palms lifted up to my forehead, where I held them for a breath then peeked out between my fingers at him. "I'm sorry... Hi. I didn't actually say that earlier, so... Hi Logan."

His ridiculously muscular chest and shoulders bounced slightly while he chuckled. "Hi Ellie. Or should I call you Mrs. -"

"Ellie is fine," I assured him with a sharp exhale, then studied his face for familiarity. Certain features, like his cheekbones and jawline were more prominent and a tiny scar near the left corner of his mouth was new, but the mix of warmth and confidence that flowed out of his eyes hadn't changed.

What also hadn't changed was how my body reacted to his presence and, unfortunately, I felt worse. A flutter of nerves bundled inside my stomach, my heart thumped faster in my chest, and a slight dryness crept up the back of my throat. A more than slight discomfort ran through me and I resisted an urge to squirm under the scrutiny of his gaze on me. He still had the most beautiful eyes, which reminded me of the bluest ocean.

Why couldn't he have gotten less attractive? It's borderline insultingly unfair.

His face broke out into a soft, almost tender smile that pulled a tightness in my chest. "I'm glad it's still Ellie."

The weight of what his words implied crashed downward in my mind. Six years ago, during my freshman year after Ryder's assault, he dragged 'Ellie' through Santa Cruz High School's gossip mud. I changed my nickname to Elle but my parents and Jake still called me Ellie. After Logan himself pulled me out of my reclusive shell our senior year, I went by Ellie again.

And he's the only one on campus who knows that.

"Some things haven't changed." I returned his smile with one of my own, which faded quickly at the unfortunate truth, "But some things have."

Since we both realized we still stood right by the door, Logan directed his gaze to our awful, ugly sofa. "Like what?"

"Says the guy who's gained, what, twenty pounds?" I pretended I bended way backwards and craned my neck to look up at him. "Did you grow any taller too?"

"Hilarious," he scoffed and walked with me over to the sofa, where both of us grimaced once we sat down and a few springs groaned under our weight. On the way over, he grinned and asked, "Wasn't I supposed to carry you over the threshold?" which only earned him my hand swatted into his nearest bicep.

Unfortunately, how I sat closer to Logan felt ten times worse in the discomfort department than when we'd stood near the doorway. His left knee on his long leg was inches from mine even though he sat in the opposite corner of the loveseat sofa. His closer proximity, his fresh scent and warm, casual demeanor overwhelmed me that much more.

Desperate for some kind of ice breaker, I coughed slightly and suggested, "I have an idea. Tell me something that's the same and something that's different, then I'll go."

"Okay..." He paused for a moment while his mental hamster went for a wheel spin run. "My favorite color is red and I wear number ten."

"Huh?" My head cocked sideways. "You changed your favorite color? What was it before?"

"Uhh, blue," he replied quietly. "I had to ask for number ten since it was already taken."

"Oh... okay." I flashed a tiny smile at how simple he'd started out. "If we're starting on Brody-spying level info, then my favorite color is yellow and I have two jobs, one in the library and I tutor some of the student athletes."

"That's three things, but glad you're still serious about school," he replied after a slight smirk at my joke. "Sounds like an upgrade from Pizza Palace though."

"I still work there full-time during breaks and summer." My nose cringed.

Maybe not this year. If I already paid the rent through July then maybe I can get something here.

He looked at me for a moment like he digested that information, then his forehead creased and he asked the question I expected but hadn't wanted to answer, "Why?"

"Tuition's expensive," I replied with a sigh and picked at an imaginary piece of lint on my jeans. "My scholarship cuts it down from out of state to in-state, which helps, but I don't want to graduate with fifty thousand dollars of debt."

His forehead creased as his eyebrows drew together, which I knew was related to the NDA money, but thankfully he didn't press further. Something about the sincere look he gave me opened my floodgates though, and I admitted, "I... want to prove that I don't need any of that hush-fund money either."

"Ellie..." he started quietly, his voice filled with uncertainty. "You don't have -"

"Your turn," I prompted a much-wanted diversion. "What's your major?"

"Bioengineering," he answered. "And... I'm warming the bench to start this season."

"Wait a minute, that's two new things!" I smiled because his major was as impressive as I'd assumed. "You always liked science but that sounds like a tough program. How do you manage that with football?"

"Lighter classes in the fall, more in the spring and a couple in the summer to catch up." He absently rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "Coach Peterson wanted me to redshirt my freshman year but Coach Hawk at UCD said don't bother so I'll still finish in four years."

"Logan..." Hesitation rolled my lower lip under. "Why are you here for football then? You've never sat on the bench."

In fact, the idea Logan moved from starting quarterback right from the start of his freshman year to Emmitt's backup made absolutely no sense. Emmitt was a solid quarterback and UW had a decently respectable record under him but Logan's natural talent had always been on another level of play.

His highlight videos sure are impressive.

His eyes dropped down to the sofa space between us, then he started with, "Coach Peterson -"

"I don't want Coach's opinion," I interrupted. "Just yours."

"Being here..." He paused like he searched for the right words, then finished with. "Puts me in the best position for what I want... long-term."

The steadfast determination in his voice and serious look in his eyes when they lifted to mine quickened my pulse until it buzzed like electricity in my veins. My lips parted slightly and my breathing slightly elevated as the question that burned inside me slipped out, "Which is... What?"

He looked straight into my eyes and the air tensed between us the longer we sat silent. My heart thumped rapidly in my chest and a pulling sensation tugged my stomach when he shifted in his seat and leaned closer to me.

While I had no idea what I was doing or why, my body instinctively leaned towards him and my gaze lowered down to his mouth. Right as his lips parted, his phone rang in his pocket and we twitched slightly apart.

"I should take this..." A laugh escaped his mouth and he winked at me. When I stood up to give him some privacy, he motioned with one hand for me to stay seated so I plunked back down. "You'll probably enjoy this. Hey, Ma."

"Logan!" Grace's voice erupted from Logan's speaker phone. "What did you need to tell me?"

"I switched roommates." Logan's smirk was on full display over his phone which, despite the diversion between us, had done nothing to cool off the hot mess of reactions inside me.

"What's wrong with Wes?" Her voice sounded filled with concern.

"He got engaged," he replied.

"Well, that's lovely," she gushed. "Young love I guess... Wait, is Charlie knocked up?"

A smile tugged across my lips, not at Grace's lack of a filter, but how she was already on a first name basis with Wes and Charlie.

"Not as far as I know," Logan groaned. "Mom, my new roommate is here. Want to say hi to her?"

"Her!?" Grace's voice rang out. "You've gone two years alone and your roommate is some girl? Logan Thomas, she'd better not be some trashy sorority -"

"She heard that, Mom," Logan snorted then flashed me a teasing look. "She's Charlie's old roommate. C'mon, say hi."

My eyes flipped open wide when he thrust the phone under my chin. "Umm... Hi Grace?"

She was silent for a solid minute, where Logan and I just traded a silent exchange where he smirked and I shook my head at him. Finally, I cleared my throat and added, "It's Ellie... Harrison -"

"Ellie!?" Her voice screeched out. "You... and Logan? How? Why!? This is - oh, Logan you lovable idiot, what have you gotten poor Ellie into here?"

"My former roommate is Wes' fiancee," I filled in and flashed Logan a smile. "But thanks for the sympathy, Grace."

"So you took a downgrade, Ellie," she laughed, which prompted the cutest scowl on Logan's face. "How are you, Sweetie?"

"I'm good," I smiled down at her phone. "He's right, Charlie was my roommate. But now that they're engaged, I guess we umm... switched."

"Cheese and rice, how do these things happen," Grace mused more to herself than me or Logan, then shifted her voice to full-on Mom lecture mode. "Logan, since you've been living alone, you'd better be a decent roommate to this girl."

Before I processed her words, I practically saw her finger shook at Logan when she added, "Don't leave your stinky jockstrap on the floor and for God's sake, don't pee on the bathroom floor."

Oh my. He's definitely cleaning the bathroom if that's true.

"I didn't do that before." Logan rolled his eyes at me.

"Anything else I should be wary of?" I giggled at Grace's candor, whose lack of filter I always counted on for oversharing.

"He's a real bear if he's tired, let's see... Logan, you'll have to limit your happy alone time to just in the shower so Ellie doesn't -"

"Okay, Mom, enough." Logan quickly tapped the speaker phone off. "I'll call you later when you don't feel like embarrassing me... Okay, next month then. 'Bye."

Another round of giggles erupted from me when he ended the call then sighed. "Your Mom is still adorable."

His eyes darted upward at me like he wasn't amused. "Funny, she said the same exact thing before I hung up on her."

"That's sweet you still call her, how is she?"

"Better, I guess. She moved closer to Santa Cruz so Brody can stay there more often," he referenced his younger brother. "I'll tell you more later, your turn."

"Oh. Umm... Let's see. I still update Ellie's Kitchen and..." My lower lip rolled under since the next part was slightly personal. "Harper and I are still friends, but not as close as before."

"Can't blame you there," he muttered. "Can I ask how you're even friends at all?"

Logan's response surprised me, since he'd always been supportive of my friendship with Harper and I had no idea he felt ill will toward her.

"Guess I really am a doormat." My eyes narrowed at him. "As you used to call me. Does that mean you and I shouldn't be friends?"

Before he answered, I followed up with, "She apologized a lot and even came to -" I paused for a moment before I admitted, "To a few of my therapy sessions."

"You see a therapist?" His eyebrows raised.

"Dr. Sterns did my evaluation prior to the NDA. I met with her again after..." My lower lip rolled under as waves of uncomfortable emotions swelled inside me. A tight tension formed in between my shoulders and rose up towards my neck. Without much thought, my left index finger reached down and snapped the hairband over my right wrist, then I mumbled, "Well, you know."

Logan's eyes traveled down to my wrist and clouded over with confusion. Thankfully, he just sat there silently, so I added, "We just do phone calls now if I need to."

At my words, his face broke into a surprising smile. "I'm glad Ellie..."

"Really?" My mouth dropped open at his response. When he lifted his eyes back up to mine, they were now full of nothing but warmth, which relaxed the tension in my shoulders.

"Yeah." He nodded slowly and wore a look like he chose his words carefully. "Not that you have any reason to need one but I'm glad that you've found someone that's helped. If you need to talk to Dr. Sterns anytime then just kick me out."

"Thank you." My lips twitched into a slight smile. "I'm not ashamed of needing Dr. Sterns' help but it's not something I advertise outside of Wes and Charlie, so... Please don't make that something like locker room talk."

"Trust me," he chuckled. "I am not the one talking about you in the locker room."

"What?" My eyes stretched open wide. "Who?"

"Who doesn't," was all he teased while his blue eyes shone. "Don't worry, I'll defend my wife's honor."

Oh gosh, I can't.

"Okay, enough with the w-word." I shot him a warning look, which lasted all of two seconds before we both cracked into loud laughs. The more I laughed, the more weirdness and tension locked inside me ever since I'd first seen him again melted away. At the amazingly freeing feeling that was released when I laughed harder, tears rose into the corners of my eyes and a slight stitch pulled under my right ribs.

I can't remember when I last laughed like this.

Logan's laughs stopped a few moments before me but his pensive look, like he studied me carefully, paused mine too. Thankfully, he just blinked a few times then shook his head slightly. "Sorry, I just... After two years, it's -"

"I know." I leaned back into yet another sofa spring and found, despite the mess of emotions and questions that jumbled around in my brain, a smile pulled across my lips. "It's weird."

"Weird?" His eyebrows lifted but one corner of his mouth twitched up. "Not the word I was thinking of but guess that works too."

Before our moment of silence became awkward, I patted the scratchy material between us. "By the way, Dad bought a new sofa. It'll be here in two weeks."

"That's... really nice," Logan replied coolly but a moment of surprise flashed in his eyes that I assumed was at Dad's random act of kindness. I'd had the same reaction at the furniture store when he'd bought a recliner sofa that was so comfortable, I'd almost fallen asleep during the sit test.

"I know, shocking right?" I shook my head. "Hey, Dad didn't say anything to you before he left did he?"

"Other than something about rearranged body parts, not much," he laughed slightly and leaned into the back of the sofa with another spring groan. "To answer your earlier question, yes I'm twenty pounds of manly muscles heavier."

"I see." My eyes shamelessly traveled over his gigantor frame, which only curled his mouth up in a smirk. "Still cocky too."

"Only if it's your eyes on me, baby," he slipped effortlessly but both of us froze at his last word.

Any lightheartedness inside me evaporated as flickers of uncomfortable emotions sparked inside me at the reminder of what he used to call me. His eyes darkened and his smirk faded but the rest of him I paid no attention to because of the guilt that fanned inside me. Like unattended, dry kindling, my teasing undertones went up in smoke, only to be replaced with a giant pile of embered ashes of uncertainty.

"I'm sorry," his voice sounded soaked with as much guilt as his eyes now. "I didn't mean, you're not -"

"I know," I pushed out in a raspy whisper. A giant lump formed in the back of my throat and I swallowed hard, but my eyes tingled when tears sprung forward and slightly blurred Logan from my vision.

Oh shit. No, not now.

"Ellie -" he started but I just lifted one hand and blinked as rapidly as I could until my eyes reabsorbed the tears.

"I'm sorry, it's just..." I took in a deep breath and steadied my shoulders. "A little overwhelming."

"I know we sprung this roommate thing on you. Although I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of hot watching you make Wes squirm." His blue eyes flashed in amusement. "But we can get to know each other again slowly, whatever you need."

"Is this because I mentioned therapy?" My lower lip rolled under again at how easily Logan had already unravelled a few things I'd kept to myself since I'd been here. Although, if I was truly honest with myself, I felt reassuringly comfortable once I'd told him. While he hadn't said anything and fortunately pity was nowhere in his expression, I'd gotten the sense, or at least hope at this point, that how Logan had never judged me hadn't changed either.

"Nope, think of it like this." Logan nodded in the direction of the giant stack of boxes in the kitchen. "You don't have to unpack everything at the same time, just go box by box and we'll figure it out."

"Okay..." I shifted my neck back and looked up at him, but only found a kind, reassuring smile. "Let's unpack then."