Thursday, I was happy to see Ellie back in her rightful bleacher seat. She messaged me that she'd meet me at Mom's house, so, I hurried home. Her yellow clown car was parked outside, but Mom's sedan was missing. I grabbed my bags and took hurried steps up the driveway, hoping she wasn't locked out.

Saying I was surprised by Ellie's forwardness kissing me was an understatement. I couldn't remember anything during my classes today, but was painfully aware how every detail – like how the confident, determined look in her eyes jack-hammered my wall of restraint into dust – tore into me.

I wanted to lock her in my truck and touch every inch of her until this growing obsession with pleasure was satisfied.

The front door was unlocked, so I stepped in. "Ellie?"

"In the kitchen."

I abandoned my gear bag near the steps and followed a warm, homey smell. Even better was the view of Ellie's ass as she bent over the stove and pulled out a tray. Even the gap in her thigh, highlighted by her black leggings, was a new torture.

"I brought—"

"Leftovers," I finished.

"Yeah." She flashed me a bashful smile. "Just some of the rosemary-baked chicken and roasted vegetables Mom and I made last night."

"Smells amazing." I inhaled, the smell dropping into my stomach, and stepped closer. "How did you get in?"

"Your mom let me in."

As soon as she set the pan down, I pounced, pulling her into my arms and pressing my lips into the tempting skin on her neck. She squeaked and giggled, bracing my chest and resting her fingers where my heart pounded.

After one kiss, she arched her neck. I greedily took more and more, trailing sloppy kisses in search of the sensitive spot behind her ear. She hummed when I found it, her pulse jumping. Lingering, I took a slow breath of her fruity shampoo.

Much better than when she smelled like barely edible, greasy pizza.

She moaned when I teased a lick behind her ear, trembling in my hold. I smiled against her skin at the trail of goosebumps my kisses had left, my body heat cranking up at how responsive she was. Not that I was better, probably could come in my pants just from those sweet, low moans.

Her shoulders bounced as she laughed at my attacking her neck spot again, this time with a light suck. "Are you trying to give me a hickey?"

"I should. Right...here." I pressed one more kiss on her and straightened. "Not to kill the mood, but where's Mom?"

"At the grocery store." Ellie leaned against the counters, pinning my organs still with those big, dark, doe-shaped eyes. "She'll be back in about ten minutes."

The growing excitement between my legs suggested I probably didn't need ten minutes. As I stepped closer to narrow the gap between us, her lips parted for the most dreaded words anyone could say in a relationship.

"We need to talk."

Talk? Every muscle in my body choked with tension. The last time a girl said those words, Chloe broke up with me. Smiling with a faraway look glazing her eyes, Ellie looked distracted by her thoughts, so I pointed at the kitchen table. She nodded and sat at the closest seat.

I sat beside her, taking her closest hand and interlocking our fingers. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just feel like..." Her fingers drummed on the table. "It's been a crazy couple of days, and I don't know how I'm feeling about some stuff."

'Some stuff' were very vague words. "Like what kind of stuff?"

"Harper broke up with Ryan because he cared about her too much," she confessed in a small voice. Her eyes dropped down to our joined hands, where I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles.

How was liking someone too much a relationship deal-breaker? This was why guys never understood girls.

Ellie's eyes warmed with assurance, and she gave an amused half-smile. "I don't feel the same way. Just the opposite, but she gave me some lecture about not having sex though, saying it ruins everything."

Still unsure of where she was going with this conversation, I digested her words. Had I unlocked something that she wasn't ready for? Given her regrets? The possibility ached worse than the interest stirring in me.

I'd fist myself through as many cold showers as I needed to for my girl, but she was right. We needed to talk about this. "Ellie, if I did anything, please tell me."

"No." She squeezed my hand. "My only issue with you is how much I keep thinking about wanting to rip your clothes off."

My eyebrows practically shot off my face. I mean, sure. Please. Tear them to pieces, I'd buy more. "Really?"

She rolled her lower lip and bit it, but her nod released a flare of excitement in me. Thank fuck, she felt comfortable being physical. I mean, there wasn't exactly a handbook for touching your girlfriend who'd been assaulted. If there was, I'd study it religiously.

"Yeah, even from the last row of the bleachers, your football pants don't help suppress those thoughts."

Holy shit. She liked my pants. I'd wear them every damn time I saw her if they cast that effect on her.

I hadn't realized she watched me in that way. It glowed inside me like a compliment. Yeah, a mirror reminded me that I was an attractive guy, but I was her attractive guy. Hers to check out however she wanted, but...damn.

Whenever I checked her out, her attention was on a book or homework. So, in a total understatement, her brutal honesty knocked me over, and fuck of all fucks, I liked honest, forward Ellie.

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, I couldn't resist one tease, "By my count, we still have five minutes before Mom comes back. I can run upstairs and put on a pair of those pants if you'd like."

"I'm serious! You are...insanely attractive, okay? Hot, sexy, pick your compliment." Despite a furious blush taking over her face and an adorable nose scrunch, her face slacked into a sadder expression. "I brought up something at Mary's House and want to be honest with you about it."

My teasing smile faded, and I squeezed her hand tighter. She'd never spoken about a conversation from there.

"I..." She took a slow breath, blushing harder. "I asked about intimacy, physical intimacy, knowing if you're ready or not."

Sitting back, I wasn't sure how to react. Part of me, a painfully sensitive part of my body, surged with happiness that she wanted to go there in our relationship, but the part of my brain that still worked wasn't sure about what 'there' context she was talking about.

It was one thing to talk with Harper about sex but at her meetings?

"Are you okay, Ellie?" I hoped with everything in me that her answer was yes. The idea of triggering anything in her made me sick, my throat squeezing in. "Touching you, I didn't...provoke anything, did I?"

"You didn't do anything except make me feel like I want more with you," she whispered. Her blush spread down her neck, and she pressed her free palm into her cheek. "I don't know what more means, but you make me feel...good."

Talk about the fucking compliment of the century.

"Ellie." I slid out of my seat, knelt at her chair, and cupped her heated face. Since her eyes were cast down, I said in a low voice, "Look at me, baby."

My heart hammered with the slow drag of her thick lashes, revealing those beautiful dark brown eyes. "I care about you a lot. I can't promise I won't fuck up on small things, but I don't ever want to do anything that hurts you or you're not ready for. We can go as slow as you need to."

"I appreciate every word you're saying," she whispered and bracketed my hands. "Maybe we don't have to go slow. I can't promise I won't completely freak out since I have no idea what I'm doing, but the consensus was I just needed to be open with you, so... Yeah. I trust you on the next steps."

"Ellie."

She was too far away, so I pulled her closer so our lips touched. Unlike most of our kisses lately, turning heated within a breath, I gave her lips a gentle, appreciative touch, pulling back and resting my forehead against hers. Like her trust, my pulse throbbed into every edge of my body, tingling my fingers and toes.

Tell her, idiot.

"I lo—" "Hey kids!"

Mom's voice jolted us apart. She burst in, swinging grocery bags at her sides and giving my kneeling between Ellie's legs a suspicious inspection. Given we were fully clothed, she had no need. I stood, took her bags, peered inside them, and looked at Ellie.

"What did she buy?" she whispered, peeking inside.

I pulled out two cans of pie filling, one cherry and one blueberry. "What did you ask for?"

"Blackberries, blueberries, and strawberries." Ellie retrieved a paper from her purse and handed me a recipe. "It was for your smoothies, so maybe pick some up tomorrow."

"You're assuming I can make this."

"Call it teaching a guy to fish." Her dark eyes sparkled with her teasing. "Throw everything in a blender, put the lid on, and push on. The ingredients are in the pantry, all labeled."

"We have a pantry?"

Her eyes glinted with a challenge. "You're such a smart ass sometimes."

"Am I?" I set the paper down on the table and pretended to corner her.

She released a small shriek and darted out of the kitchen like I wouldn't catch her short legs within two steps. I jogged after her as she darted upstairs, where her steps fell silent.

"Ellie?" I pretended not to know she hid behind my bedroom door, her short breaths giving her away. So did her pathetic attempt to tackle me inside my room, which ended up with her arms wrapped around my waist.

My chest vibrated as I chuckled at her playfulness and shut my door. "You think you're taking me down?" I circled one arm around her waist and the other behind her knees, lifting her in one yank. "Two can play, Ellie."

She giggle-protested and wiggled as I flung her stomach over my shoulder. Her small arms barely made an impact, even when her fists pounded into my butt.

"Are you done back there?" I spun her around, loving her laughs and squeals. She clung to the back of my shirt, so much that she almost choked my neck with the collar.

Well-played, Ellie.

"Yes." She laughed, bouncing on my shoulder. I smacked her ass and sat on my bed. After releasing next to me, she produced a pout I wanted to kiss off her lips.

"Oww." She rubbed one palm over her butt. "Is that how you do ass-smack in the huddle?"

"Usually it's harder." I leaned closer until my face was a breath away and grinned. "If you want me to kiss it—"

Ellie cut me off with her lips pushed against mine. That worked too.

I threaded my fingers through her long, soft hair, and kneaded my fingers into the back of her head. Her hands ran over my sides, playing with the hem of my shirt. I shuddered, losing my breath as her small fingers rubbed my bare skin. Between the two of us, Elle was three-for-zero in being shirtless. Before now, I'd kept mine on as another barrier to hold me back from, well, myself.

A surge of desperate frustration flared in me. Her tentative, almost ticklish, and explorative touches made my skin burn. Her lips were sinfully soft, and the sweep of her tongue over my mouth was the best fucking surprise. I groaned against her lips, loving her boldness.

She did want more, humming sounds of approval when I slipped my tongue past hers and into her mouth. Hot and wet, each stroke cranked my body heat higher, my dick stiffening crazy hard. Cupping one hand around her neck, I trailed the other lower for an appreciative squeeze of her breast. Even clothed, it was warm and soft and just...everything.

Her fingers teased at my waistline, drawing my stomach in. Inches below her explorative strokes, growing more confident the lower they moved, my dick was leaking and sticking my underwear to my skin.

I released her breast and moved to remove my shirt when a loud knock jumped us apart. Our chests pitched in traded pants. She stared, as red-faced and breathless as I felt.

"Ellie?" Mom's muffled voice called through the closed door. "I tried to follow your recipe but don't think pie filling and raw eggs make a good smoothie."

"Oh, gosh." Ellie's hand flew to her swollen mouth. "Don't drink those, you'll get salmonella poisoning."

She slid off the bed, where I stayed and took a few slow, deep breaths to calm down. My dick made the most obscene tent in my pants, throbbing with its own pulse and not going down anytime soon. She glanced back as she stepped over to the door.

"I'll catch up." I clenched my teeth and waved her out. She gave me a sympathetic smile, leaving me breathless, sweating, and alone with my frustrations.

Unsexy thoughts, Logan. Stinky cups and jock straps. Matteo's hairy ass.

Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium, Boron, Carbon, Nitrogen...

***

While Salinus had almost twice as many residents as Santa Cruz, Salinus had two high schools, making Salesian High School smaller than Santa Cruz High. Despite being the smaller school, our community brimmed with pride in our football team.

In addition to packed stands at every home game, the town supported the Mustangs' success. I hadn't fully grasped the full extent of this until our Homecoming parade.

Despite Ava begging to use my truck, I declined. Parking a mobile billboard for Salesian pride at Ellie's work seemed like the quickest way to get my windows smashed in. Then I wouldn't have danced with her stinky ass.

Every part of me enjoyed that, even the part where she grabbed my ass. Correction: especially the part where she grabbed my ass.

Josh and I rode in the back of his truck bed with the tight ends, QBs, and receivers. His white truck was a better canvas than my black counterpart, and the cheerleaders decked out every inch of it in red and black Mustang decorations. He pulled a similarly decorated float where the coaching and cheerleading staff rode. Most of the cheerleaders, except one in particular, walked alongside our float with their fitted uniforms and pom poms.

As Homecoming King, I was supposed to ride on the last float but refused once I learned Kendall was the Homecoming Queen. I used the excuse of shining attention on the team's success and not myself, but no part of me wanted to share the same airspace with her.

No one argued with me, although I felt the heat from Kendall's glare once Ava had informed her in the school parking lot before the parade started.

Her ass could ride alone for all I cared.

The bulky offensive line guys were on the float ahead of us, while Bryce and the defensive guys rode behind us. The last float was for the Homecoming Court, the school's elected candidates for King and Queen from the senior class and two representatives from the junior, sophomore, and freshman classes. Since Josh and I were here, Ava insisted on throwing the stupid sashes around us.

Technically, the elected King and Queen would be announced at halftime during tonight's game, but Ava had already informed me last week that I'd won King. She'd congratulated me, and I'd sorely disappointed her in giving zero fucks about it. How she and Josh hadn't been named King and Queen was a surprise, but the only person I wanted anything to do with Homecoming didn't even go to our school.

The marching band struck up Salesian's school song, the trucks hooked up to the floats blared their horns, and we inched out of the parking lot in a queue.

Josh grinned in awe at the sidewalk crowds after the first turn. "This is crazy."

The crowded sidewalks were a sight. A warm feeling spread through me at the happy, beaming faces and waves. Students, town citizens, and their families stood or sat in lawn chairs on the sidewalks between the school and the town's small main street. The decorative brick front and arched window businesses were covered in Salesian support.

I read every sign as we passed by and even took a few pictures. The band played upbeat music, the cheerleaders waved their black and red pom poms, and we tossed candy to the crowds.

"Did I tell you the good news?" Josh heaved a big handful of candy at some kids. They probably didn't need twenty pieces, but they squealed and grabbed it.

"If you're going to tell me about bare sex again," I grumbled. "Save your breath."

"Says Mister Lovestruck 'fucking amazing." When I didn't respond past a side eye, his grin widened. "You've been in a better mood since Santa Cruz's Homecoming dance."

"Maybe because we have three games left before the playoffs and are still undefeated?"

"Hardly, bro," he snorted but still gave me a fist bump.

I wasn't in a bad mood before, was I? All I knew was, after Saturday night with Ellie, a tension I hadn't been aware of had been lifted from my shoulders. I couldn't remember if I'd felt like this years ago but one thing was different.

In one sexually charged but non-penetrating experience, and a lot of heated making out since, Ellie had possessed me. I'd dreamed about her this week, and if I thought about her a lot before seeing her, it was nothing like how much I thought about her now.

Her orgasm, noises, and flinches were ingrained in not just my brain, but my body's memory. Every time I'd seen her since, my hands were desperate to touch her skin, even if just holding her hand and rubbing my thumb pad over the soft skin dipping valleys between her knuckles. My arms wanted her in them, with my lips pressed against hers.

I was even more of a goner with how unusually bold she'd become. The weight of her first times still lingered in my mind, but now I wanted to be not only her first and best, but also her only.

Just as I felt like the absolute biggest simp in Northern California, Josh claimed that title.

"I got into UCLA."

I snapped my head in his direction, clapped his shoulder, and tugged him close for a bro hug. "Congrats, bro! I'm stoked for you."

Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy. As my top receiver, my best friend, and just a decent guy, I was close to exploding in happiness for him.

"Man, not happier than my dad. Gotta continue the legacy, you know."

As the oldest child of four in the Allen family and only son, Josh had big UCLA football cleats to fill. His dad's jersey number thirty-six was retired after his stellar linebacker play for the Bruins awarded him a place in the NCAA's collegiate hall of fame. Josh's Dad played pro for three seasons before getting injured, before multi-million-dollar contracts and larger insurance policies existed.

Josh's grades were decent, better than half the team for sure, but there never had a clearer path been laid than the one from his dad. Unfortunately for Josh, it was also paved with high expectations.

"It was the Santa Cruz game," he said as we separated, brushing his jersey like we hadn't just hugged in front of a crowded street. "They saw my adjustments playing on the wrong side."

"So, it was good for you," I smirked. Jake's punch to my left eye socket had been good for something after all.

"Just don't make a habit of pissing off Harrison."

I waved at the cutest old people outside the dry cleaners. "I won't on purpose. He wasn't happy to see me at their Homecoming Dance."

"Still surprised you made it out with no broken bones," he teased.

"I'll Ellie thank for that."

"I know exactly how you feel, bro." Josh turned to the float behind us. Ava blew him a kiss, and he practically melted. "Now I need to convince Ava to go too. She doesn't know what she wants to study but wasn't completely sold on UCLA."

"Do you think you guys will—"

He cut me off with a shake of his head. "Long-distance isn't an option." His voice was low and straight to the point. "I need her with me bro, she's like my oxygen."

Oxygen was a bit dramatic. I chuckled at his whipped choice of words. "You're that serious?"

"Serious enough that I got her a ring." I about swallowed my tongue at his words, convulsing into a round of coughing. He rolled his eyes and corrected, "A promise ring."

"Promise of what?"

"She's it for me." His expression was set in determination, his jaw ticked and his eyes staring into mine. "Already told my parents I'll marry her someday. I don't ever want anyone else."

His words shot my eyebrows up as high as they reached. I forced a tight smile and gave him a silent nod. We both turned our attention back to the parade.

Biggest simp, folks... Josh Allen.

As we smiled, waved, and tossed more candy, flickers of envy sparked inside me. Josh knew exactly what he wanted in his future. I hadn't picked a school, although Ellie and I sent out a round of applications to the typical in-state schools and the University of Washington.

Like UW, the in-state schools contacted me for a visit, which I pushed back until after the season ended. Even Josh's relaxed shoulders made me envious. He knew exactly what he wanted with his girlfriend too.

Ellie was one of, if not the most important person in my life, but I hadn't even told her I loved her. Her pride and work ethic were admirable, burning an uncomfortable feeling when watching her at her work.

Mase's 'just one year' words were true, replaying in my head while she'd cleaned up that smelly, greasy restaurant. If I did miraculously make it to the pros, Ellie wouldn't have to work a job like that anymore. She deserved more than mopping floors, cleaning trash, and scrubbing tables.

She also deserved to know exactly how I feel. Standing taller, I gripped the truck edge so tight my knuckles turned white. It was past time I'd told her.

No part of me looked forward to the dance, especially not after I'd unleashed my past mistakes with girls on Ellie. But, if I told her those three damn words, it'd turn the worst of nights into the best.