< Chapter 54: Should I Tell Her? >

♥ Justin’s POV: ♥

I blinked my eyes a couple of times and groaned in pain loudly.

“Shit…” I muttered, feeling my head pounding. It felt like someone was constantly smashing my brain with several bricks. I struggled to sit up and was finally able to look around me.

There was a classy theme in the room I was in. Fancy mirrors, fancy decorations and it was so clean, it smelled like spring. It was very nice, but that didn’t stop me from freaking out.

Where am I? What’s going on?

Before I could process anything else, there was a knock on the door that made my head hurt even more.

“You’re awake,” Noah commented, walking inside the room holding a tray in both hands. I watched him curiously as he approached me with a glass of water and something else resting on the tray. He picked up something that looked like a pill and handed it to me. “Swallow it. It’ll help with the headache.”

I obeyed silently, taking the pill from his hand and the glass of water afterwards. I swallowed the small pill down with a few gulps of water and thanked him, placing the cup back on the tray.

“Is this your first hangover?” he asked quietly, sitting on the bed beside me where I sat with my legs crossed.

“No,” I replied, looking out the window. It was quiet for a while and Noah decided to look out the window along with me after a moment. I watched the clear sky and the trees being swayed by the wind before I spoke in a whisper, “Where am I?”

Noah didn’t answer me at first. Instead he just lowered his head and looked at the floor. “This is my mom’s bedroom,” he answered.

“I like her taste,” I complimented before asking what I really wanted to know, “Am I at your house?”

“Yeah. I had to bring you over here because you were too drunk.”

“I was?” I chuckled. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s ok,” he said. And after that, neither of us said a word. It was a little uncomfortable for me because it felt like he was keeping something from me.

“What about Ryan and Chaz?” I spoke slowly.

“They’re here too. I put them in my room and because you all couldn’t fit in there, I put you in my mom’s room while I slept in the living room couch,” he explained, standing up and picking up the tray along the way. “Do you guys want to eat breakfast here? I could make us all grilled cheese sandwiches, eggs, maybe bring out a couple of fruit?”

“That sounds cool, thanks,” I smiled at him, standing from the bed as he nodded and exited the room, leaving me alone.

I tried my hardest to ignore the severe headache that continued to pound in me and picked up my phone, dialing my favorite number. At the fourth ring, the voice of an angel greeted my ears.

"Hello?" Jamie answered, sounding like she just woke up.

"Morning baby, did I wake you up?" I smiled lightly.

"Yeah you did," she sounded kind of cute when she was tired.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I apologized while standing up from the bed and stretching.

"It's okay, I actually would rather talk to you than sleep to be honest," she giggled a little, making my heart flutter.

"Aww, well I called to check up on you. How was girl's night?" I asked.

"It was fun! We did our nails and watched movies and talked and it was just amazing! Did you have fun with the boys?" she seemed to sound a bit more lively and awake now.

"Oh yeah, it was a blast," I answered, partially lying. All I did was get drunk and give myself a huge headache for today. "Are you okay? Want me to bring you anything when I come back? You know, is the baby craving anything?"

"Jesus, Justin, calm down! I'm pregnant but it doesn't mean you have to worry so deeply about me," she laughed, and I let out a smirk.

"I can't help it. I just love you so much," I smiled, wishing I was with her at that moment to wrap her in my arms and kiss her.

"I love you too. And I know it's been a day but I miss your smile," she said, and I could almost imagine her pouting all cutely.

"I miss you too," I cooed, causing her to giggle.

"When are you coming back? I'm still here with Phoebe and Allison who joined us for girl's night," she said.

"I told Noah I would stay and have breakfast with them, so you should eat breakfast with the girl's and I'll be there shortly afterwards," I informed her.

"Okay, I'll see you later then. Love you," she said.

"Bye babe, I love you too," I replied before we ended the call.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and began walking out of the room. I've never been in Noah's house before so I obviously didn't know my way around, but I was pretty sure I could find a way to the living room, assuming the kitchen was somewhere near there.

So that's what I did, and eventually, I actually found the kitchen first and that's where Noah was, making exactly what he told me he was going to make.

"Smells good," I said, walking over to where he stood. "Need help?"

"Nah, I got it. Thanks anyway," he smiled lightly at me, but the smile faded just seconds after it had appeared. Why is he almost nervous to talk to me? What'd I do?

"Noah?" I called softly.

"Mhhm?"

"Did I do something that bothered you last night?" I asked awkwardly. "You know... When I was drunk..."

He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me. "What makes you think you did something like that?"

"I don't know... You seem pretty hesitant ever since I've woken up," I shrugged, speaking as honestly as I could.

He scanned my eyes for what seemed like he was searching for a specific emotion and, when he didn't find it, he took a deep sigh. "Justin," he began, "do you even remember anything you did when you were drunk?"

I blinked three times. "No... Did I do something bad?" I asked innocently.

"Umm... Are you sure you want to know?" he bit his lip. "It's a lot to take in."

That's when I got nervous. What could I have possibly done to make even Noah feel hesitant about it? I was praying it wasn't something too bad as Noah sat down on the kitchen counter.

"I guess so. Just tell me," I prompted him, watching him nervously play with a spoon on his hand.

"Okay but I'm only being honest. It may be a little hard to hear but... Y-you... You basically cheated on Jamie."

My heart stopped and shattered to pieces. He hasn't said anything but a simple one-sentenced explanation of what I did, and I was already ready to start crying. Before any tears were shed, I just began chuckling to myself.

"You're kidding right?" I laughed, hoping that if I laughed hard enough, it'll all just turn out to be a joke.

"Sorry.. But it's true. And it wasn't just any girl, Justin. You cheated on Jamie with Selena."

My jaw dropped. What? He's not serious, is he?

"S-She was in the same club as us?" I stuttered, finding it hard to believe.

"Apparently, but I don't know why or how she got there," he mumbled.

I could feel my heart continue to shatter. "Did I fuck her?" I whispered.

"No, I'm pretty sure you didn't. You were dancing with her and you two were grinding and laughing and moaning," he recalled the memory in disgust.

"Well that's not so bad. I mean, I was drunk and we just danced, right? It doesn't count as cheating if we just danced?" I tried to brighten up the situation.

"Actually... I spoke with Chaz when he woke up before you did. He was a little drunk that moment last night, but still really sober, and according to him, he saw you two making out. I mean... full on making out. She was in your lap and everything," he spoke lowly, as if he was scared to admit it.

Then it hit me. The memories of last night. I could almost remember the taste of Selena's lips and how her breath smelled of alcohol. I remembered her annoying little giggles that made it obvious she was drunk, and I remembered how she touched me sexually, and how we grinded against each other on the dance floor.

"Fuck.." I muttered, slapping my forehead. "I'm so, so stupid. Fuck, Jamie's gonna kill me. What do I do?" I looked helplessly up at Noah, hoping he could give me some good advice.

"You should definitely tell her, but make sure to explain you were drunk and you didn't know what you were doing," he advised.

But I couldn't stop thinking about the many different reactions she could have. I couldn't stop wondering what if...

----

"I missed you so much!!" Jamie jumped on me, attacking me with a hug and kissing my cheek. I held her in my arms, twirling her around as Ryan, Chaz and Noah all stood awkwardly behind us, watching me show affection towards the girl I cheated on.

It breaks my heart just to even say that. That I cheated on Jamie.

"Looks like the boys decided to show up. Come on in guys!" Phoebe cheered, waving us all into her house. I watched as Ryan and Allison noticed each other and instantly looked away, blushing a little. Wow, they really need to get together. Like.. Now.

As Jamie and I took a seat on the couch, she wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned in close to me, kissing me softly. From what I remember when I kissed Selena, Jamie's lips are absolutely way more intriguing than anything I've ever tasted. They are like a soft little piece of heaven, entering my mouth and making me feel amazing. It was so overwhelming, and I started to feel guilty about kissing her when I know I hadn't been loyal to her.

Should I tell her? Should I tell her what I had done?

"Jamie..." I whispered, pulling away from the kiss. She looked into my eyes, running a hand through my hair and kissing my nose.

"Yeah doofus?" she smiled, resting her head on my chest while giving me a hug. I felt her belly against mine and instantly felt even more guilty. The fact that I could feel her pregnant stomach touching me, reminding me there’s a baby we’re having together... How could I have done such a horrible thing? How could I have allowed myself to cheat on the one girl I love with all my heart? Even when I'm drunk, I expect myself to know that when it comes to Jamie, anything to disappoint her would cross the line. I shouldn't have ever agreed to a fucking guy's night.

"I, umm..." I began nervously. "I love you.."

A confused look spread across her face and she leaned away from me. "Why do you say it like that?” she asked, not only sounding like that hurt her, but she definitively knew something was up.

"N-no reason," I said, but it was no use lying to her. We know each other way too well for that shit.

"What happened? Did I do something?" she asked, her voice sounded really worried as if she was about to cry already.

That's when I realized things were more complicated than they seemed. I had forgotten that Jamie's pregnancy is giving her... umm... moods. And that means that she can either take these news really well, or completely overreact because her hormones are all over the place.

"No, babe, you didn't do anything!" I quickly defended her. She took a quick sigh of relief and then gave me another look of confusion.

"Then what is it?" she asked, scared of whatever I had to say.

"Can I talk to you in private for a second?" I said nervously, taking her hand in mine and picking her up, taking her with me as I stood up so that she had no other choice but to come with me.

"I guess so," she mumbled, as I carried her to one of Phoebe's guest rooms, and it happened to be the one that Jamie always stays in when she sleeps over.

Once we were inside, I put Jamie down carefully and closed the door, making sure it was locked.

“What’s going on?” she asked, sitting down on the bed.

“I have to tell you something and… you’re not going to like it,” I started honestly. She became silent and didn’t say a word, waiting for me to continue. “At the club, I-“

“-cheated on me?” she interrupted, just like I remember her doing so a while ago. Except this time, I didn’t deny it.

“I’m sorry…” I said softly. “I was really, really drunk, an-“

“-what did you do?” she interrupted again. Her arms were crossed and she seemed a little pissed off. But she wasn’t yelling yet, so that’s a good sign.

“I danced with her…” I whispered, and she immediately looked up at me.

“That’s it? You just danced?” she stood up.

“And kissed…” I said, softer than last time. She froze in place and uncrossed her arms.

“You kissed her…” she said out loud, as if she was trying to hear how it sounded when spoken into the air. I nodded nervously, digging my hands into my pockets. “Then why does it feel like you’re still leaving something out?”

“Because.. Umm.. I didn’t kiss just some random girl… I happened to kiss Selena…” I choked out, and her eyes widened.

“Selena? You kissed Selena? Are you fucking with me right now? How could you DO THIS?!” she yelled so loud, I was sure everyone in the house had heard it. Fuck, I think everyone in China had heard her.

“Babe, I didn’t mean to! I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing!” I defended myself.

“Drunk, drunk, you were drunk. Typical excuse. If that’s the case, how are you stupid enough to get so drunk you’d kiss your ex?!” she screamed, and I saw tears streaming down her face.

“What the fuck do you expect me to do? I told you I was drunk!” I shouted back, instantly regretting it. It suddenly became silent between the two of us and Jamie’s face fell. I already saw the mistake I made. I made it seem like it was okay to kiss Selena. Even if I was drunk. But that’s not what I meant. That sure as hell wasn’t what I meant.

But Jamie wasn’t angry anymore. She just seemed utterly upset. Disappointed. Sad. Tears continued to flow out of her eyes as she stared at me in shock.

“I didn’t mean it like that..” I said lowly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-… I wasn’t thinking.”

The next sound to enter my ears wasn’t one I enjoyed. Jamie was now sobbing, crying silently to herself while trying to wipe the tears that kept coming back. “I didn’t think you’d hurt me like this. It’s one thing to kiss someone while you’re drunk, but it’s worse if you kissed Selena. That’s not even the point anymore. The fact that y-you… you don’t seem to care about what you did..” she cried out, taking steps away from me.

“No, Jamie, please. I do care. I do love you. I don’t need anyone else but you. Please don’t take it that way, I-“

“-shut up, you fucking jerk. I’m done here. I’m done discussing this. You’re obviously not sorry enough. Goodbye,” she said, walking off to the door, except I was in the way of the exit so before she could reach the door, I grabbed her in my arms, holding her in place. “Let GO of me!”

“No. Please listen to me, baby,” I whispered.

“I’m not your baby! LET GO OFF ME!” she screamed, scaring the hell out of me. But it wasn’t the raise in her voice that scared me. It was the fact that she was screaming because she didn’t want me touching her. She didn’t want me near her. And that hurt. That hurt a lot. “Let go off me right now or I’ll fucking abort our baby,” she said, and my heart dropped. I instantly released her, taken aback by her hurtful words.

Did s-she… Did she really just say that? Did she just even think of doing such a horrible thing? Kill our baby? The one we made together? Out of love?

♥ Jamie’s POV: ♥

When Justin released his grip on me, I instantly sprinted towards the door, unlocking it in one swift movement. As soon as I opened it, I was face to face with all of our friends.

Ryan, Chaz, Phoebe, Allison and Noah. Everyone. They all heard our argument.

I pushed them aside and stormed off, trying to wipe the tears away. I can’t believe that the last person I thought would never hurt me again did it before anyone else could.

I didn’t mean to say what I said back there about aborting our baby. I was just angry, mad and disappointed. I wanted him to let go off me and I was hoping that the thought of killing our baby would scare him enough to release me. But I would never do such a thing. This baby represents the love we have together.

But does he still even really love me anymore?

Just last night I was daydreaming of the possibilities of how soon he would propose. But now? Proposing is the last thing I expect from him.

I’m done with him.

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Did shit just get real? :O

Anyways, I love you guys so much I posted yet another LONG chapter because you all are so awesome.

PLUS, LISTEN TO THIS, I’ll make a fair trade with you. If more of you guys follow me on twitter (@UndercoverGirly) and I get more followers, I’ll post ANOTHER new chapter TOMORROW! Sound good? If not, I’ll just update next Friday or Saturday :)

It can’t be like 3 more followers or something, I mean it’s a new chappie we’re talking about here!

lol, anyway what did you think of the chapter? #Jastin is falling apart :O

- Nina xx