< Chapter 14: Leaving >

♥ Ryan's POV: ♥

"You said you wanted to talk?" Noah asked as he sat down on my bed and I closed the door. I turned around to look at him, butterflies in my stomach. I was nervous, to say the least.

"Yeah, uh... It's kind of important," I said urgently, walking over towards the bed and sitting next to him.

"Well, no offense but... Wouldn't you have man-to-man talks with Justin or something?" he smirked, crossing his legs.

"I guess, but the only problem here is that I'm not ready to tell him this yet," I confessed. "In fact, it took me a lot of courage to decide to even tell anyone and you're the only one I can trust with this information."

Noah furrowed his eyebrows. "Now I'm curious," he bit his lip. "What happened? What's going on?"

"Umm, so... Remember when we went clubbing so I could try to forget Allison?" I began, my stomach in knots. Noah nodded slowly. "Well, I did something I really, really, really regret."

"What'd you do?" he asked.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. Specially Justin," I bit down on my lip even harder.

"I promise," he nodded again.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

I sighed. "I don't know how... Or... Or why, but... I kissed, umm... I ended up kissing Selena," I admitted quietly. Noah's eyes nearly bolted out of their sockets and he did a double take.

"Wait... What? How did Selena even end up in there?!"

"That's what I don't understand!" I formed a fist in frustration. "I was so drunk, I didn't even know what was going on! All I could think about was Allison and how heartbroken I was and... I know what I did was wrong-very wrong-but I wasn't thinking, I-"

"Hey," he interrupted me. "It's okay. I understand."

"Y-You do?" I gulped slowly.

"Yeah, I mean it's not like you meant to kiss her. You would never do that to your best friend while sober," he assured me, "It was just a terrible mistake. I won't tell anyone what you did, but.. I expect you to try to figure out how to admit it to the people it affects the most... Like Justin."

I groaned. "Do you think he'll be mad at me?"

Noah shrugged. "I don't know, I mean... Selena's his ex who only kinda pushed Jamie down a flight of stairs and almost caused a miscarriage, you know."

I shot him a glare.

"Stop using sarcasm, it doesn't help," I mumbled.

He grinned slightly. "Sorry."

We sat in silence and I suddenly got an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. The more I thought about what happened... The more I thought about the fact that I actually kissed Selena... First of all, am I that terrible of a friend? And second of all, eww why would I do that to myself?

Before I could say anything else, Noah's phone beeped and he looked down at it, scanning the screen before looking up at me.

"Listen," he sighed, "I don't know what the future has for any of us, alright? Justin may be mad for a second, then forgive you. Maybe he'll be mad for a day, or a week, or months and months. Maybe he won't get mad at all. I don't know. But, Ryan, you really shouldn't hide this from him. You guys should all be honest with each other, do you understand?"

I nodded slightly.

"The only way you could ever fuck this up is if you let him find out from Selena herself," he added, before stuffing his phone back in his pocket and standing up. "Well, Phoebe just texted me... I have to go, man. And if you're gonna tell Justin, do it soon because he leaves for tour tonight."

"Ugh," I scoffed. "Already?"

"Yeah," he said, walking towards the door. "Let me know if you end up telling him, alright?"

"Fine," I sighed, and Noah walked out the door. I sat alone for a couple of minutes, having an internal argument with myself over whether or not I should get my ass over to Jamie's house and see if Justin was there.

I'm too scared to tell him.

But he's my best friend, I should be able to be honest with him.

What if it hurts him?

He'll at least know the truth.

What if he never speaks to me again?

He will.

What if he doesn't?

He will.

Yeah, but what if he doesn't?

I'll figure something out. I mean, it can't be that bad, can it? It's not like I have feelings for Selena or anything. But Noah was right. She has done some terrible things to both Justin and Jamie, and it feels like I betrayed them by hooking up with her. It's not like I wanted it to happen, though. They have to at least understand that, don't they?

I groaned, forcing myself to stand up. I grabbed my keys from my desk and walked out of my room, quickly making my way downstairs and until I was outside of my house. I tried to block out all my negative thoughts as I marched toward's Jamie's house. It was precisely when I rang the doorbell that I started to feel as anxious as I've ever felt.

"Ryan?" Justin opened the door and looked at me before a smile creeped upon his face. "Hey buddy! How are you?"

He threw an arm around me and gave me a hug, and I gulped nervously, forcing myself to hug him back.

"I'm great," I pulled away and awkwardly smiled. "But, uh.. We need to talk.."

Justin furrowed his eyebrows. "Why-What's wrong?"

I stepped inside the house and closed the door. "Can we do this in private?"

Justin looked around the empty living room. "We're good here, Jamie's in the shower."

"And her parents?"

"Out," he said. "Now come on, tell me."

He grabbed my arm and led me towards the couch, forcing me to sit down before he sat next to me. We faced each other and the minute I looked in his eyes, the guilt intensified. How am I supposed to break the news to him?

I tried to begin to speak, but I didn't know where to start. What am I supposed to say? Should I just be blunt about it or ease it in by stalling?

"Ryan," Justin cleared his throat. "You okay?"

"Yeah, of course," I lied.

"Then.. What'd you want to tell me?"

"Umm.." I bit my lip.

Justin looked at me, waiting for me to continue but I just couldn't. I was too scared and the words weren't even coming out. So I did what I do best at these situations... I panicked.

"I can't find my blue Family Guy cap and it's one of my favorites," I spoke slowly, "Do you know where it is?"

Justin blinked twice, letting out a deep breath of air. "Bro, you had me scared for a second," he hit my arm. "I thought it was something serious."

I laughed nervously. "Well... Gotcha! Now seriously, where's the cap?"

He shook his head. "I didn't take it."

"Seriously, Justin," I played along.

"Ask Chaz, man. I don't have it," he grinned.

"Fine," I scoffed, just about the same exact time as Jamie walked in the room.

"Hey Ryan!" she cheerfully greeted me, walking over and giving me a hug. Her hair was still damp from the shower and her scent smelled familiar, but it wasn't Jamie's scent.

"Hi Jamie," I chuckled, scanning her from head to toe when she had pulled away. I saw that her shirt was too big for her and then I realized she was wearing Justin's shirt. That's why I recognized his scent on her.

"Is that my shirt?" Justin asked her, taking a good look at her body.

Jamie giggled and twirled around so we could see how it looks on her. "Yup," she laughed.

Justin bit his lip. "God damn it looks so sexy on you," he breathed, reaching for Jamie's hand and pulling her towards his lap. Jamie straddled him and buried her face into his neck, kissing it multiple times.

"Can you guys knock it off?" I groaned. "I really don't need to be reminded every time I'm with you two that I don't have anyone to love anymore."

Jamie slowly pulled away, giving me a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

I shook my head. "No, no, I'm sorry," I protested. "I know how much you two love each other but at least try not to have sex in front of your best friend."

Justin smirked, "We'll try."

I sighed. "Oh, um.. Is Jason sleeping?"

"Yeah, he fell asleep about ten minutes ago," Jamie nodded.

"And are you two joining Justin on the tour?"

She shook her head. "I told myself I didn't want to take him on tour with us like that as long as he's under a year old. It'll just be better for him and I would be able to manage him more easily."

"Fair enough," I said, suddenly standing up. "Well, good luck on your tour, Justin."

"You're leaving?" he pouted. "Why?"

"I... promised Phoebe to help her with something," I lied again.

"Help her with what?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know, she wouldn't tell me until I got there," I shrugged, turning around. "Anyways, I just wanted to stop by. See you guys later."

"Bye," they both said in unison and I waved at them before quickly walking out the front door.

I don't know why I lied to them like that. I just wanted to get out of there. The guilt was eating me alive and I don't know if I want Justin to carry on the burden of knowing what his best friend did when he goes off on tour. I want him to focus on his fans and his concerts and keep making his Beliebers happy by doing what he does. I don't want him to get sidetracked.

And I don't want him to hate me.

-

♥ Justin's POV: ♥

Kenny was going to pick up Scooter and I to leave to the airport at around 10pm. I have to leave earlier to drive to the hotel Scooter was staying in. It was almost 9 and I spent most of my final day here cuddling Jamie and saying goodbye to whoever called me to wish me luck on the tour. Recently, Jason woke up from his nap and I just finished gathering all my luggages while Jamie was busy breastfeeding Lil J.

"So you'll be gone for a while, right?" Jamie quietly said, her eyes fixated on Jason.

I leaned down and put on my left shoe. "Babe, you know I'll check up on you every day."

"Yeah, but... You know I have this thing every time you leave where I just miss you too much," she sighed.

I put on and tied my other shoe before glancing at her. "I'll miss you too," I whispered. "But I'll be back before you know it, I promise."

"What about Jason?" she looked at me through her long lashes.

I stood up. "What about him?"

"You'll miss 2 months of his life," she pouted.

"We're lucky it's not a one-year tour or a two-year one," I sighed, sitting down next her. "Scooter still considers this a break because I'll only be gone for 2 months, as opposed to-I don't know-fourteen. My crew is patient enough to wait until Jason's old enough where I could continue my career as before."

"And I'm grateful for that but... I need you, Justin. I can't do this on my own," she whimpered.

"You won't be on your own, baby girl," I kissed her cheek. "It's like I'm right here with you."

I caught her cheeks blushing slightly before she pulled Jason from her breast and rested him over her shoulder. She pulled up her shirt and tapped lightly on his back to get him to burp.

I watched them in silence, taking a mental note on the sight of my family, whom I'll be away from for sixty days.

"I almost have to go.." I whispered. Jamie looked at me sadly, not ready for me to leave just yet. "Can I just hold Jason one last time?"

"Of course," she smiled, gently handing our son over to me. I held him carefully so his chin rested on my shoulder before repeating Jamie's past actions of light tapping on his back.

I could hear him cooing and mumbling and I slightly leaned my head over to rest on his.

"I love you," I whispered to him. "Daddy loves you, baby J."

Jason mumbled things I couldn't understand before he lightly burped a few times. I chuckled and pulled him from my shoulder so I could kiss his forehead.

"Try not to miss your swaggy daddy too much," I said softly, before resting him on the bed. I then pulled Jamie to stand from the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist. "As for you.. I'll call every day," I promised her.

She looked at me, her eyes watering. "We'll Skype once in a while too, won't we?"

"Of course, princess," my voice cracked. She ran a hand through my hair and I nuzzled my nose with hers. "I love you so much.."

A tear slid down her cheek. "I love you too," she whispered, brushing her lips against mine. I pinned her up against the wall and hungrily kissed her, wanting to taste every inch of her before I go.

Jamie let out a soft moan as I kissed harder, eventually trailing more kisses down her neck and to her collarbone. I ran my hand up and down her body before crashing my lips back into hers. I wanted every piece of her. I wanted to kiss every inch of her. I wanted to feel myself inside her. But there just wasn't any time. I had to leave.

The minute my phone vibrated, Jamie pulled away from the kiss and I gasped for air before reaching inside my pocket and pulling it out.

From: Scooter

Message:

Remember to be here by 10. Kenny says he'll be on his way.

I sent him a quick reply to let him know I understood before looking up at Jamie.

"Guess I'll see you in 2 months," I bit my lip.

"Stay safe, okay?" she whispered.

"Okay," I slightly smiled, giving her one last kiss before taking all my luggage to my car and, soon, I was sitting in the driver's seat, ready to leave this place for about 8 weeks.

I was about to pull up on the road when my phone vibrated again, and I received an email with Megan's name on it.

Megan? I haven't heard from her in a while. So I curiously opened up the email and read it slowly:

Hey Justin!

I know you're leaving for 2 months and none of us would see you for that long. I wish you the best of luck performing for all those dedicated and beautiful fans you've got. But hey, before you go, I got myself a little apartment close to Jamie and Ryan's neighborhood. I would love it so much if I could say goodbye because I won't be here when you get back. I'm staying in New York for a while and I can explain more when we talk.

The address is below. I'll only be here one more night so I hope you can make it! :)

- Megan C.

She's leaving to New York? I should probably say my goodbyes to her too, considering I don't know when I'll see her again.

But I better be quick unless I want Scooter to bite my ass off for being late.

***************************************

Megan's leaving! :(

Wondering why? You better be ;)

What'd you guys think of the chapter? Justin's also leaving and Ryan's got some explaining to do, dont'cha think?

- Nina xx