2:04 AM, January 7, 2020

A buzz is constantly going through my head, shouting nonsense. 

There's no pattern, no rhyme, and no reason.

The madness doesn't have a method, only a purpose. 

It's purpose? No one knows. 

Only I know, but I have no answer. 

I can barely find my way through my methods, my anxiety, hell to thinking I can get through the madness. There's no map, only have twists and turns and deadends through this maze, constantly on a drive to escape. 

But, what happens once we escape? 

Are we helpless to mother nature and die, or, is there something else out there? 

Religion was created upon beliefs that there is a reason for what happens. What happens when it rains, what happens when it thunders, when people are hit with a plague, and when people die. 

Going into topics of religion always sets people off. 

They get defensive, putting out their chest firmly in what they believe in. 

But what are the facts? 

We cannot see anything beyond our realm, if there is anything outside, based off of facts. 

Science was created to test tangible things, not the intangible, like supernatural or gods and goddesses. 

This is nonsense to most people, trying to put both the science and the religion together. 

Many are against the science of the world not having a 'holy being that is above us' because this is what they believe. 

Imagine in about 100 people, only 10 are science-based, would they explicitly go out and say that their gods and goddesses are fake? The answer is no. 

Why upset a balance that everyone is content with what they have? 

Some people seek refuge in religion for reasons such as anxiety. 

They can't explain it, so they turn to a source that is supposed to heal them. 

Maybe that's why I seek refuge in my Angel. 

My Angel is such a nice spirit, constantly reassuring me when I am stuck in a thought, not able to get out. 

Angel will always help me, even when they are not around and unaware of what I am thinking of at the moment. 

I wouldn't want to bother Angel anyway, they deserve much better than this anxious mess that I am.

2:18 AM, January 7, 2020