It had been more than a year since she moved away to Italy. She had originally planned this to be jus ta trip, but when she discovered that her son's lover had been his kidnapper in his traumatizing experience, she had no choice. Her daughter Mikasa was back from university for the summer, but her son Eren never returned home ever since. Her husband arranged someone back home to send off the rest of their important belongings, as well as paperwork. It was an unplanned and very last minute ordeal, but she didn't know what else to do. She had to watch her some be a very bright and joyful boy to a depressed and tired man and didn't want history to repeat itself if she allowed him to be with that man. Levi Ackerman was the reason why she had her son back, but he couldn't be trusted especially since he had a bad past and reputation. Did she hate him? No, but that didn't mean she would let her son near him ever again. 

She and her son's relationship have been very strained ever since. To her, he was no longer a son but a dying plant. Being a mother, she loved him dearly but now all she had to do was feed him and make sure he wouldn't hurt himself. She couldn't hug him or talk to him without him lashing out on her and screaming. At first, she thought he would bounce back up in a few months, but she was terribly wrong. He kept himself locked in his room and refused most company. He was sleep, read, eat and repeat and never spoke more than a sentence unless necessary. For the first few months she had no endured his screams and cries, but nowadays he was silent. It was concerning because she feared her son was the same as an unliving thing. She wanted what was best for him but now she had no idea what to do. The only help he would agree with getting was skyping his counselor back from home, but he threw any form of medication away if given to him. It hurt her how he wouldn't talk to her. 

For safety reasons, she didn't allow him to use any technology unless she or her husband were watching. Was she being too protective of her adult son? Yes, but she was afraid. And people who are afraid tend to do things that may cross over the line at times. She didn't want to be this way, but the stinging urge of needing to protect her son was too strong. Eren was an adult that could make his own choices, but at this point, he was too drained and miserable, and so that is why Carla still had him with her and her husband. His counselors agreed that it would be best this way, for a while, until he recovered. But he was showing no signs of recovering. He seemed a lot worse than after the accident. 

Eren was a very popular student at his university and Carla was aware of the mountain of friends he must have had. Because of this, she monitored his Instagram and his email just in case any of his friends wanted to tell him something like wishing him well or simply greeting him. His friends missed him, and it hurt her heart that Eren couldn't be with them at that moment. 

A week after they were supposed to come back home from Italy, Carla received a strange email labeled "Day 21 without you" and discovered that it was sent from Levi Ackerman himself. At first, Carla's initial plan was to delete it and block the user from ever sending anything again, but she was so intrigued by how he wrote the heartfelt letter that she never went through with said plan. Eventually, Levi sent more and more emails, each one explaining how he missed Eren and how numb he was feeling without him and before Carla knew it, she started to pity him. He wrote about regular everyday things, which was nothing she expected from someone who was a criminal. Soon she found herself looking forward to reading his emails to read what he had to say about her son, but one day he left an email stating it would be his last. 

The guilt weighed heavy on her. She learned a lot about Levi and she didn't even meet him yet. From his letters, she could tell that although he was a highly emotional individual, he was kind and appreciated the small details in life. He continued to live even though everything on Earth was against him and his circumstances, and most of all he treasured and loved Eren with a love that was more than love itself, something heavenly and unique. Carla didn't want to be the reason why it would break. Even when Eren had closed himself in with anything that had to do with love, she knew that what they had was beautiful. It hurt her so bad because she had been so blind and inconsiderate. She thought that what she was doing was right. 

Tearfully, she printed all 297 letters with all of them ranging in length and detail. and clutched them all tightly in her chest and she burst into Eren's room noisily, interrupting his third nap that day. The papers spilled and flew to the ground like wounded doves as she collapsed with them, looking down at the crumpled paper. Eren got up slowly and glared at his crying mother, but his eyes softened at the view. He was confused. Why had she suddenly come into his room with knocking and in tears? He looked down at the mess and let out a little gasp of surprise. 

"What is all that?" he questioned tiredly. "Why so many?" 

"They're for you. All of it, Eren," she answered, her voice cracking. It reminded Eren of a car trying to drive through a road filled with potholes. She felt as if a switch had finally been switched inside her heart so that she could tell right from wrong. 

"But what are they?" he asked impatiently. If she wasn't going to go straight to the point, he was going to have to ask her to leave so that he could sleep again. 

"They are emails. All from Levi," she replied. "I'm so sorry, Eren. I've been hiding all of this from you, but I couldn't do it anymore. He sent one a few times a week thinking no one would ever read them. Before you try to read any of them, I think you should read this one first. It's his last letter." She brought herself to her feet once more and handed Eren a slightly torn letter, her hands shaking as Eren snatched it from her as if he knew it had belonged to him all along. 

He read it over and over and over again as he had with that handwritten note Levi had left him in the park before. He read it until his hands, like his mother's, shook with such force that he was unable to read it any longer. Tears filled in his eyes and blurred his vision. He had thought Levi was going to forget all about him, that he was going to be disposed to the far corner of his mind like nothing but a memory. An odd mix of euphoria and bitterness burst inside his heart as his tears silently dripped from his eyes like light rain. He cherished the thought that Levi was still out there thinking about him, but the letter didn't sit right with him. He was confused that Levi mentioned going on a trip but never said where, or that he donated a large portion of his belongings. It made him feel uneasy. Was Levi going to move away? Would he ever see him again?

"We need to go. Something's not right," Eren declared as he jumped up from the bed. 

"What do you think he meant in his final email?" Carla asked him, still puffy-eyed and on the floor. 

"I don't know, and that's the issue. When we were together, he was always so straightforward. It's not like him to say something so indirect, and it scares me. Mom, we need to go. Please. I don't care if you hate him, I just want to see him again. It's urgent. I don't think he's in safety's arms right now. 

"Can we talk first? Can we talk about this? About why I kept this from you? Because I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight if I don't explain anything," Carla said and held a hand up when her son was about to open his mouth once again. 

"I mean, I guess since we're on the topic," Eren said with a sigh. He was tired. A part of him didn't want to listen anymore. 

"Eren, you know I love you. As a mother, I feel like I was born to love you and protect you. When I discovered you were dating... Levi, I lost it. I wanted to protect you to make up for the first time when I wasn't able to when you were taken away. I know my actions don't justify what it has done to Levi or your mental health, but I would like to say that it was my fault and I take full responsibility for it. When he sent the very first email, I wanted to read what else he had to say about you but I also couldn't tell you. I was scared you would swim across the ocean just to find him if you read any of them, so I kept it a secret. I showed them to you now because he said it was his last, and I didn't realize there was going to be an end to them. I may have feared him, but I feel like I learned a lot about him, Eren. If you have time to read all of them, you would be blown away. No matter how hard his day is, he still expresses how in love with you he is. I also realized that I did not want to ruin this, especially since you're my son. I tried to do the right thing and with good intentions, but I did wrong instead. I know it's been extremely difficult for you, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, Eren. I want to make you happy, and I mean it this time. So if you want to return to Levi, I won't mind as long as you will be happy." 

She was still sitting crossed- legged onto the floor, staring sadly at all the fallen letters around her and knowing that she had started this. With a sigh, Eren lifted the covers and blankets from his lap and tumbled onto the floor with his mom and laid his head on her lap the way he used to when he was a kid. He felt like he was ten all over again. She welcomed this action but began to stroke his greasy hair with hesitation. 

"I forgive you, and I understand why you did what you had done. I hope you can forgive me too for always lashing out on you when you were just trying to protect me," Eren said genuinely. He had enough of always being angry towards his mother. 

"I'll make it up to you, Eren, I promise. First I want to say that, unfortunately, we can't leave at this minute to return to him. I'll find the earliest flights, alright? Don't panic too much, please. I promise we'll reach him in time."

Although Eren knew his mother was saying this to reassure him, it was giving him the opposite effect. The way she worded her speaking was concerning him, and he could figure out why she was talking to him like this was extremely urgent. Despite his mother's advice, he panicked.

yeehaw finally something interesting.

-t